(First off:I dont own esca,(i dont claim to) or ANY studio CLAMP characters, or even Jerry springer, or Talk shows... as far as I know, Sakura and I started the Bishonnen Channel, but i could be wrong... So, in short, credit goes where it is applicable... Besides, i'm not worth sueing... i'm BROKE. Oh, befire you start reading this, this is Full of YAOI (male × male relation ships) and i will snicker at those nastly little e-mails reading "WHERE'S MY WATTER BUFFALO?!" erk! i meant, "Yaoi is bad" blah blah blah...)
(I had half of this typed up... i spent from 10 till 12 half falling asleep and typing this..it didnt save and it got deleted.... i think i'm gonna die now....)
*Dryden Walking on beach* Did you know that every hour 7.3 mermaids get tangled in fish nets? Did you now that there's a charity that funds the release of tangled mermaids? No? Well now you do. The 'Save the Tangled Mermaids Foundation' asks that you send only ten cents a day, three dollars a month, so that you can help save a tangled mermaid... Once you send your three dollars you will recive a picture of a mermaid you might've saved. Now, call the number on your screen and help saved a tangled mermaid... Dont do it just because it's better for them... do it because i need a shave.... *smiles like he's Allen*
Fuuma: we return to Explain YOUR World... Durring the break Milerna bitch-slapped Allen fiffty-six times, Chid had been taken to his shrink an--
*Kamui giggles* Fuuma! Quit grabbing my butt!
Fuuma: um... sorry, i'm not...
Kamui: Huh?! Then... *looks behind him at Kanoe then screams like a little girl and hides behind Fuuma*
Fuuma: Hn... Anywho... So, Allen, tell Milerna who you're cheating on her with...
Allen: Hitomi!
*CROWD GASPS* TRUCK STOP WHORE! TRUCK STOP WHORE! TRUCK ST--
*Eagle streaks accross the stage* ALLHAILTHEFLAMINGRHINO!!!!!
Katzi: WHOO-HOO!!! *Swings Eagle's boxer's around on one finger*
All: O.o?
Kamui: aaaanywho, here's Hitomi!
*Hitomi cheerfuly walks onto the stage* Hello Kamui, Fuuma.
Both: Hello Hitomi
Kamui: You said you had something to tell Milerna-Hime?
Hitomi: Acctualy, yes i do. *holds up tarot card* This says you're gonna die.
Milerna:What-EVER!
*Girl wearing a pink kimono with sakura blossoms on the sleeves shoots Milerna with a shot gun, cheers with the CROWD then scampers back to the game*
Fuuma: Hm... *takes this moment to kill Kanoe for touching his precious uke... er... Kamui...
* Now then! Hitomi, it seems that you yourself havent been too faithful to Alen.
Alen: WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU!
*CROWD BOOS*
Hitomi: Yea, i'm cheating on Alen with my lizbian lover, Van.
Alen: How is that possible?
Hitomi: Dunno, but it sounded more interesting.
Fuuma: Interesting... Van has been waiting back-stage, so let's hear his side of the story
Van: Hello everyone. *makes a face at Alen."
*Alen lunges at Van, but misses and ends up CROWD surfing.*
Kamui: Hm... Well, Van, it says here on this card that you have a 'Kinky Sex Secret' you'd
like to reveal to Hitomi.
Hitomi: WHAT?! YOU MEAN THE ROLE PLAYING AS DILANDAU ISNT KINKY ENOUGH?!
Van: Nope... I'm gay--
Hitomi: NANI?!
Van: WITH Dilandau.
Kamui: See, Fuuma! we're not the only yaoi couple on opposing sides! *clings to Fuuma*
*Subaru sticks his head out from the room where they're playing strip go fish* HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK SEI-CHAN AN' I ARE?! *Is grabbed by Sei-chan*
Sei-chan: You owe me them boxers, boy!
*Subaru 'EEPS' as he is dragged back into the room and the door shuts*
*All present act like that didnt happen... amusing at it was...*
*Alen still CROWD surfing* Van! Quit sleeping with Dilandau! He's my little sister!
Van: Riiiiight... and you're the Queen of Austaria...
*Artemis sporting Sei-kun's trench and Subaru's hat* Actually...
Allen: HEY!
*Artemis gets draged back to the game by Sei-kun and Krispy*
Hitomi: SHINJIRARENAI! (i cant beleive it!)*swings pendant and gets sucked up into the white beam of light and is taken back to the Mystic Moon.*
Kamui: That was odd...
Fuuma: Anywho... Here's the Prince of Pyros, Dilandau!
*Dilly walks out and raunchily glomps Van, and sits in the draconian's lap.*
Alen: Celena!
Dilly: Shaddup, sicko!
*Alen shuts-up*
Kamui: Um... here, look at a comercial, feel free to run screaming into the hills, if you wish...
Jajuka: Eat milkbones... Cos they're good... *flexes muscles* they'll make you look sexy, like me, and they give you a nice shiny coat that'll drive the girl's crazy. *Nods* yea... Milkbones are good...
Fuuma: Okay, we've just intoduced Dilandau.
Kamui: Dilandau, what exactly is going on here? *looks kinda, really lost*
Dilandau: Van and I are sleeping together.
Fuuma: Yea, but what's so kinky about that?
Dilandau: Uh... He has wings? *shruggs*
*Fuuma winks to Kamui* so does Kamui.
*Kamui blushes, ignoring Fuuma's comment* Now, Dilandau, it says here you've been sleeping with your employees.. would you like to explain?
Van: Dilly! You didnt tell me?! *rage*
Dilandau: It was a one-night-i-was-really-drunk-type-thing!
Van: How could you do this to me?! *sniffles*
*Dilly pet-pats Van* I promise it'll never happen again. I love you most nummy muffin.
CROWD: Awww...
*Fuuma watches them cuddle* They're having a moment... But let's bring out chesta anyways!
*Chesta comes out, waving obliviously as Van prepares to attack, Dilly pouncies Van, making them both land in the CROWD.*
Chesta: Oh dear...
*Both bishonnen get tossed back up on stage, shirt-less... *
Dilandau: Van....
*Van pounces Dilly, knocking over a chair. Because of crumby TV censoring, a giant eclair falls on them both*
*Kamui sweat-drops* um...
Fuuma: We should try that some time... *grin*
*CROWD's Kamui × Fuuma fans cheer*
*Kamui blushes* Ahem... so, Chesta. if you're not in love with Dilandau, who's your special someone?
*Chesta giggles* well, my special someone is Gatti-san, because he's so sweet, and so much more masculine than me! and... *babbles on*
*Kamui sweatdrops* now a word or so from our sponsors....
--Comercial--
King Aston: Are you looking for high-quality throne chairs at reasonbale prices? Well look no farther! At King Aston's Black-markett throne shop, you'll get more than a new throne! You'll get a new friend! *thumbs up*
