Nephlite vs. Melvin

A hundred thanks to Sailor Earth, who suggested this battle and co-wrote it! ^_^

V-Babe: We are once again at the Insanity Arena!

Melvin: Huh? Insanity Arena?

V-Babe: Well, what did you think I'd call it, the "Sane Arena"? Anyway, let's get started, shall we? First I'll introduce my co-commentator for this battle...everybody give a nice, warm welcome to Sailor Earth!!

Sailor Earth: well thank you V-Babe! It's great to be here! Ok, lets meet our two Contenders for this . fight to the finish! On this side we have the chess club veteran Math-wiz Melvin!!!

Melvin: heh, well I do like a good Math problem but.wait.what do you mean 'Fight to the Finish'??

Nephlite: What did you THINK it would mean?

Melvin: ACK!! Who are YOU???

Nephlite: Well, Molly once knew me as "Maxfield Stanton". Now she knows me by my real name, Nephlite.

Melvin: HuH?

V-Babe: Get a clue! Molly was in love with HIM before she started going out with you! And she makes a much cuter couple with him, too...don't you agree, Sailor Earth?

Sailor Earth: oh, definatly! He did save her life after all! And he died for her.have you ever done that?

Melvin: but, but, but.Molly!

Molly: She's right Melvin! Get a grip! Honestly, you spend far too much time studying! you're sweet n all but you're such a wimp! ..Hiya Nephlite

Nephlite: Molly.

Sailor Earth: ok then! Lets get things rolling shall we? Now the introductions are over are there any special rules for this match V-Babe?

V-Babe: None, Sailor Earth, save the usual: Anything goes, and the first one to either KO or knock his opponent out of the ring is declared the winner!

Melvin: But he's got some super-dee-dooper-ultra-science-fiction-fantasy-big-blow-ya-away-double-tripl e-ultra-fantastic-uber-powerful...

Sailor Earth: Are you finished?

Melvin: Super powers! It's way too unbalanced!

Nephlite: *slight laugh* Yeah, I guess you're right...all I'd have to do was hit you once to knock you out of the ring...

Molly: DO IT!!!

Nephlite: Nah, I'll make things interesting and go easy on him...maybe.

Sailor Earth: Well, this ought to be interesting! Nephlite, are you ready?

Nephlite: *pounds fist into hand* Yup!

Sailor Earth: Melvin, are you ready?


Molly: OH GET A GRIP!!!!

V-Babe: *starry-eyed hopeless romantic look* It's almost too cute...two men fighting over a girl's attention...

Sailor Earth: Except Molly's already picked one of them.

V-Babe: True...

Nephlite: V-Babe! How 'bout starting the fight?

V-Babe: Oh, yeah, right! Ready, fellas? FIGHT!!! *ding!*

Melvin: this is for you molly!! YYYYAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *charges at Nephlite with a rushing headbutt*

Sailor Earth: it's an interesting opening attack from Melvin

Nephlite: *with his eyes closed and hands in his pockets he effortlessly avoids Melvins attack* so, your heads a battering ram aswell as a computer.

Melvin: *falling in a heap behind Nephlite* I'm just getting warmed up buddy! Ive studied every martial arts book ever published, so there! *stands up and strikes a pose* I learned this from a karate book! Prepare to feel MY FISTS OF FURY!!!!!!!

V-Baba: you gotta be kidding me! Nephlite, put us all out of our misery and deal with him, please?

Nephlite: *grins evilly* you got it! Huh? *feels a slight tickle and looks down to where Melvin landed a punch in his stomach*

Sailor Earth: he actually hit you?

Melvin: I hit him! I hit him! Hey molly did you see, I hit him!!! OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!! My hand *throb*

Nephlite: you actually call that a "hit"? I suppose a fight was too much to expect from you!

Sailor Earth: Oh, DANG this Melvin is terrible....

Melvin: All right! I got one hit on you, now I'll be sure to get you! *starts taking a lot of silly poses and making high-pitched "Hwaa" and "heee-ya" sounds*

Nephlite: *sweatdrops, with his hands still in his pockets*

V-Babe: Well, Nephlite doesn't seem very worried here...

Sailor Earth: Would you be?

V-Babe: Heck no.

Nephlite: I'm not sure whether to be amused or insulted or what...

Melvin: FEEL MY WRATH, NEPHLITE!!!!!!!!!

Sailor Earth: Melvin starts running towards Nephlite, punching as he goes....

V-Babe: And Nephlite cooly dodges again! Dang, has this guy even broken a sweat?

Sailor Earth: No, I don't think so...


Nephlite: *amused laugh* Why should I when you're just making a fool of yourself?


V-Babe: Nephlite holds Melvin by the head at arm's length while Melvin makes a fury of punches at the air....*laughs* OH MAN THIS IS PATHETIC!!!!!!


Sailor Earth: a tiny flex of Nephlite's wrist sends Melvin flying off to the side! . man this is good comedy!

Melvin: *lands in a heap on the floor* OOF!

Molly: this is too much! *falls on the floor in fits of laughter*

Melvin: I can not loose! Brains will always beet Braun

V-Babe: but Brains and Braun are better

Sailor Earth: and Nephlite has both!

Molly: *still on the floor* and good looks!

Nephlite: I could drag this out for ever but I'm getting bored! I think I'll finish this now!

Melvin: I'd like to see you try! *strikes more poses*

Sailor Earth: oh man! *sweatdrops*

Nephlite: I think I'll enjoy this *struts menacingly towards Melvin*

Melvin: YOU CANNOT FRIGHTEN ME FOR I AM THE MIGHTY MEL.....*Nephlite gets closer and Melvin is only now realizing the height difference*

V-Babe: Now where did all that cockiness go all of a sudden?

Sailor Earth: I think it drained from him the same time the color did from his face.

Nephlite: *grabs Melvin's collar* Let's make this easy.

V-Babe: Nephlite lifts Melvin efforlessly...


V-Babe: Well I have to admit if Nephlite had me off the ground with one hand in his pocket and was giving me THAT sadistic little smirk he's giving Melvin I'd be scared stiff as a board too...

Sailor Earth: Amusing since he was acting so big and bad earlier!

Molly: You don't know the HALF of it!

Sailor Earth: Nephlite walks over to the edge with Melvin and places him outside the ring MAKING NEPHLITE THE WINNER BY A RING-OUT!!!

Melvin: ...*looks around and realises were he is* h-HEY!!!! That's cheating!! Coward! He's cheating! That move is illegal, its against the rules!

Sailor Earth: what rules?

V-Babe: I think I remember explaining quite clearly to those that would LISTEN that there were no rules

Melvin: huh? M-molly?

Molly: get a clue Melvin! Hey Nephlite, you up for that Chocolate parfait?

Nephlite: sure *they link arms and head for the door*

Melvin: molly! Molly don't go! But youre my girlfriend! MMMMMOOOOOOLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Sailor Earth: SHUT UP!

Melvin: *crying* MMMOOOLLLYYY!!!!!! MMMOOOLLL-

Nephlite: grr *turns and sends an energy blast at Melvin sending him flying into the arena wall*

Melvin: oof! *falls to the ground with a thud, head spinning*

Sailor Earth: Are you satisfied, Melvin?

Melvin: Somebody stop the room...I wanna get off....

V-Babe: Well, that brings this battle to a close! Thank you, Sailor Earth!

Sailor Earth: You're very welcome V-Babe! It was worth it

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