-Prologue-

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, the flowers bossomed sweet scent, and the dog pooping on the sidewalk. Yes, this was a good day...nothing could possibly go wrong.
Akuma walked into the Oozy Goo Soda shop. There, Jin and Hazuki were waiting for him.

Akm: Hey yo', waz' up? Why'd you call me for?

Haz: Good morning! ^_^

Jin: Nothing much. Tekk just gave me a raise, so I'm celebrating.

Akm: Oh...So, you're treating us?! ^_^

Jin: Yeah, I am. But not here. I just want to have breakfast then we can  go somewhere else.

H+A: ^_^

Jill (From Resident Evil): So, what will it be?

- Wow, I didn't know a lot of video game characters are getting sidelines!-

Jin: Want anything?

Akm: Nah, I'll just have some cola please.

Haz: Um, just fries. I'm still a bit full.

Just then, Hwoarang and Pai enter the shop.

Akm: NGEESH!!! Don't tell me HE'S coming with us?!!!

H+J: HELL NO!!!

Hwo: I happen to get the highest ante last night at a fight, so I'm-

Akm: Dating her? oo,

Hwo (turning red): NO, I'm giving her a tour around this joint! DAMNIT, STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!!

Akm: Eh, Bob, after what I saw last time, you still expect me to believe that? ~_^

H+P: -BLUSH-

Haz: What did you see?

H+P: O_O!!! NOTHING!!!

Jill: Here are your orders. Enjoy!

Akuma drank from the glass. Then he suddenly spits everything towards Hwoarang.

Akm: FFFTH!!! Pwe!!! Aw, FUCK!!!

Hwo: SHIT!!! FUCK YOU, AKUMA!!! >:-(

Pai: ~_~ My ears...please, stop the harsh words!!!

Haz: What's wrong?

Akm: Hey! WHAT'S THIS SHIT YOU GAVE ME?

Jill: Pepsi

Akm: PEPSI?!!! DON'T YOU HAVE ANY COKE?!!!

Jill: No, I don't, and neither does anybody else!

All: WHAT?!!! O_O WHY?!!!

Jill: Haven't you heard? The Coke manufacturers said that all the Coke suddenly turned to water! It's believed that they angered the high priest for not allowing Michael Jackson to endorse the product, thus they blocked the Mystic river of Coke!

Akm: NO!!!

Jill: So, everybody has to stick with Pepsi...or worst...Snapple!!!

Akm: NOOOOOOO!!!

Jin: What's wrong with Snapple?

-Con't-
The Obfuscatory Swallow

-off screen, while I was typing-
Akm: Er...MC, what the hell does the title got to do with the story?
MC: Hmph! Snoopy cousin. Knock on the door before entering next time! Obfuscatory Swallow? Ukyo's move?...meaning this is when he enters the scene. It's been haunting me. I'm in love with the name! ^_^
Akm: And with the character...sheesh... -.- #
MC: What? You want me to put "Concealed Sabre Swallow Swipe" instead?
Akm: HELL Yeah!!!
MC: Write your own fic, Akuma.
-back to program-

Ukyo was doing his Deadly Arts to a poor, helpless tree. After turning about ten trees into nothing but ash and dust, he sits down on a nearby tree, takes out a cup, thermos, small packs of Nescafe and some biscuits. As he silently sips with his eyes close, enjoying the serenity of the forest, he slowly opens his eyes annoyed as Akuma's screeching voice grow louder.

Akm: UUUUUUUUUKYOOOOOOOOO!!!

Jin: NOT SO FAST AKuuuuuummm...

Ukyo: -.- # Hmph...

Akm (Stops next to Ukyo): Ukyo, you won't believe this! The Co-WHAT IS THAT?!!

Ukyo (looks at the cup then at Akuma with a brow raised): Um, Coffee, the liquid who's main ingredient is Caffeine...? A stimulant, usually taken by adults...? The one I usually take every morning before work...? Rings a bell?

Akm: Sniff...Caffeine...WAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ukyo: Hmph...

Jin (Panting): Gah...ah...

Haz (the same): Hah...hah...next time...gah...I'll ride a bike...

Hwo (the same): Wha...why are we even...gah...here?

Pai (Too disappointed to pant): I don't like Pepsi. Besides, Sega tied up with Coke for promotion purposes! In Japan (I think), some machines give out free VF keychains (collect them all!). Without Coke, no Pai Chan keychains! And that's a fact!!!

Hwo: ...Hey Jin! See any vending machine that sells Coke?

Ukyo: What IS it? What's going on?

Akuma tells everything to Ukyo.

Ukyo: Hmm...so, I guess it means no Coke for you-

A+P: WAHAHAHAHA!!!

J+H (Covering their ears at Akuma and Pai's combined force): >_< # Nice going genius!

Ukyo: >_< # Ok, ok...we'll...do something about it.

Haz: What are we gonna do?

Ukyo: We have to convince the sun to shine and melt the ice that conceals the radiant earth.

All: WHAT?!!!

Ukyo: -.- # You people have no sense of poetry. We have to convince the priests to remove what's blocking the river of goodness.

Hwo: What, we're gonna make a commercial of Coke staring Michael Jackson?

Ukyo: No, we'll have to compromise with them. First thing's first: We have to go to the Land of Lush and find the sacred Temple of Caffeine. I believe an old friend is residing there...Then, we can access the Kingdom of Coke. Hopefully, they will allow us to enter their sacred grounds and talk to the high priest.

Jin: So, this will be another great adventure? Great...I have to tell Tekk I'll be off a few-a few?-days. So much for my clean record!

Haz: WOW!!! I'm coming!!! I'm coming!!! I feel like Tomb Raider already! -Tune of "Elevation" sneaks into the place-

U+J: -.- #

Pai: I'm not just gonna stay here and make movies, be famous, be richer, make love to Lee (Hwo: O_O!!! Pai: I'm just kidding! ^_^) have lots of fans and be happy forever! Count me in!

Hwo: Thanks for bragging everything we won't be experiencing in our lives (CERTAINLY NOT make love to Lee!). -.- # Well, if you're coming, guess I have no choice.

Akm: Tenenenenan...

Ukyo: Does it look obvious I'm coming along? Besides, I have to watch over TWO PEOPLE HERE who might get THE HEAT at anytime! >:-(

P+H: O_O!!! YOU TOLD HIM?!!!

Akm: ^_^;;;;; Ehehehe...

Haz: What do you mean? What did Akuma tell Ukyo?

P+H: -Blush- O_O NOTHING!!!

Akm: Well then, I guess we're gonna set forth to a great journey that might change our lives forever-

All: -.- #...

Akm: Then again, maybe not...But from this day onwards, we become heroes...heroes that will bring back the lush taste of Coca-cola to the mouths of many thirsting people!

Hwo: ...You sound like Aoi in the VF liberation front...

Akm: Shing! Enlightenment!

Thus, the journey begins...

Ukyo: WAIT! Which reminds me, this would mean we have to ask the Gatekeeper to open the dimention for us!

Akm: WHAT?!!! NO!!! NOT...NOT MICAH?!!!

Ukyo: Yes, MiCah, the Guardian of the gates. And we have to go...to go to her Midnight Realm...

Akm: WAAAAAH!!! NOOOO!!!

All: Who's MiCah?

U+A: You don't want to know...

+Main Characters+

Ukyo Tachibana- The Viceroy of the Tekken home and now the new Demon Guardian of Akuma. Handsome as ever, the sexy, silent, Swallow Swiping Kensai from Samurai Shodown returns, more powerful than ever with his Void upped at a very high level (in case Akuma goes wild again). Well...actually, he's hiding from Morrigan, who wants to flirt with him 24 hours a day, 8 days a week ~_~

Akuma the Werecat (Akuma Montressor III)- The return of the Werecat. Feeling the Indiana Jones in the air, our LOVABLE devil's advocate joins the search to quench his thirst and save the world from being droids of Pepsi and Snapple.

Jin Kazama- The Fatal Lightning assist his friends at the cost of his next raise and promotion from Tekk. Hopefully, this adventure will gain him something worth more than a dollar/pound.

Hazuki Kazama- The young spirit of the forest gives her assistance in the quest. With her ability to heal others and call upon her two demi-god guardian brothers by screaming real loud, she becomes useful in the journey, though it may cause others hearing impairments.

Pai Chan- our slapping Hongkong film star decides to go on an early, unpermissioned trip, much to her producer and manager's dismay, to regain the delightful taste of Coke and save the Sega industry because of the VF-Coke tie up.

Hwoarang- Bob doesn't want to be anywhere near this group and he can live without Coke. But due to Pai tagging along, he was forced to anyway. And maybe, just maybe, I will write a full, uncut, "intimate" moment of him and Pai. Sorry Bob, but I don't think so...

MiCah- Ngeesh! Why am I here? Anyway, the Frankenstein Judas (storyline at the MMR, coming soon) seeps into some parts, HELPING in someway. Akuma's only rival and arch enemy. She's undead, meaning I can't be killed :P A powerful being though she is, she has little stamina and needs to feed on flesh and blood (or if none, sleep the whole day) like a maniac, making her a very frightning member to go with.

=Chap 1: The Inexplicable Towers-Home of the Powerful=

-Averno's Peak: Akuma's home and the Zergling named Fluffy-

At dinner, Ukyo announced that they will be gone for a while, much to some's delight. Then, he announced Jun was to take over, making them frown again (Paul: Viceroys should be shot! Kaz: WHAT is THAT suppose to mean?!!! Paul: ^_^;;;;; Ehehe...nothing...) And so, our heroes prepare themselves for their journey.

Akm: Flashlight...Check! Toothbrush

Jin: Check!

Akm: Rations

Haz: Check!

Akm: Apples? ~_o

Ukyo: Check...

Akm: Oh...uh, Captain Planet card collectibles?

Jin: CHECK!!!

Hwo: -sniggers-

Akm: ~_o ...uh...OKAY...MAKE UP KIT?!!!

Pai: Check!

Akm: Are you sure we're going to you're coming along with us or you're heading for a beauty salon?

Pai: Hey! We are meeting high priests! Who knows? They might think I'm the goddess of beauty and let the river flow back without questions asked!

All: Nyeeeh...yeah, right!!!

Pai: ^_^*** Oh, c'mon. Let me dream!

Akm: -snorts-...Just don't wear high heels! Sheesh! Whatever...Mari-MARIJUANA?

Hwo: Double check!!!

All: O_O!!!

Hwo: Hey! We're going to some high priest, right? Maybe if I offer them these babie and they feel like "HEAVEN" they'll treat us like gods!

Akm: ...y'know, you're very compatible...

Hwo: Hehe...

Akm: Right...going back to the list...Con-WHAT THE HELL?!!!

Pai: oVo Hwoarang...!!!

Hwo: WHAT?!!! NO!!! I DIDN'T!!! HONEST!!!

Ukyo: EHEM...just making sure that if ANYTHING happens behind my back, you'll be SMART enough to use it...

P+H: O_O!!!

Akm: Yeah...whatever. Ok, that was the last. So, tomorrow...ngeesh...the trip to hell!!!

Hwo: Yeah, I mean, I haven't seen your place, but I'm sure it's hell-

Akm: NO FLEABRAIN, I MEANT GOING TO MiCah's REALM!!!

Jin: So, why do we have to go to your place if we want to go to her's?

Akm: The portal to her realm's there. Egad! I haven't visited that place since I stopped eating huma-

Ukyo: Stop right there! You'll be cut off by your own tongue again! Let's all get some shut eye. Tomorrow, we leave.
-
Akm: HOME SWEET HOME!!! (kisses the earth)

They were outside what looked like an inverted ice cream cone. It was so tall it reached the sky and the clouds swam across the upper portion. It was made of pure, dirty white stone and didn't seem to have any openings. A few windows can be spotted at the upper portion, but no life seem to be in it. At the middle part, 2 sort of bridges connected the tower to 2 smaller cones (not inverted though) opposite to each other.

Hwo: THIS is your home?

Haz: Wow...I mean...it's so..."unique"...

Jin: Devils live in this kind of places? I'm glad not to be so pure blooded.

Akm: -.- # Hmph...

Pai: Um...do you have an elevator in there? How do you get to the top?

Hwo: Man! It looks like a di-

Akm: HEY! THAT'S TOO MUCH!!! YOU NEED GLASSES!!! I DON'T THINK IT RESEMBLES THAT!!! WELL, I SUPPOSE YOU SEE IT THAT WAY BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY!!!

Hwo: WHY YOU-

Ukyo: LET'S GO! oVo

Jin: Uh...how do we get in?

Just as he finished his question, a slice appeared from the bottom. Then, it slid slowly to the left, creating a passage.

All (except Akm and Ukyo): O_O!!! Freaky!!!

All of a sudden, an ugly, alien looking creature emerged from the darkness and was charging right at them!

P+Haz: EEEEEEEEK!!!

Hwo: Watch out!!!

Akm: Wha-?

Jin: AKUMA!!!

Akm: OOF!

It jumped on him, crushing and pinning him on the ground. Everyone covered their eyes or turned away (except Ukyo, who looked annoyed), expecting the inevitable. It violently lowered its body to Akuma and...licked him.

Akm: Ok, ok, I'm happy to see you to, Fluffy!

All (Except the two again): O_O!!! FLUFFY?!!!

Akm (pushing Fluffy off and wiping the gooey saliva off his face and shirt): Yeah-ngeesh, sticky- This is my pet Zergling, Fluffy.

Flu: (In a screeaching sound) NGRAAAAAAACH!!!

All: O_O!!!

The Zergling looked VERY contrast to its name. It didn't even have any fur. Only brown, greasy exoskeletons. He looked mean, his red eyes glimmering at them, his mouth gapping showing its pointed tongue and sharp teeth. Saliva kept dripping out of its mouth. It had three pairs of  legs, the front were blades. It hopped around like a fast grasshopper. It looked like an overgrown cockroach without wings. If you play Starcraft, then you know what I mean.

Ukyo: Hahaha! Did you see the look on their faces?!!! Hahahaha!...

Akm: ... -.- # Ukyo...

Ukyo (Still laughing): Okay, I was caught too the first time I saw that, but, HAHAHA!!!...

All: -.- #

Jin: Where...How...WHY?!!!

Akm: I had Infested Kerrigan of Starcraft design my interior. I asked her what a good pet to have. She suggested and gave me a Zergling egg! (Hugging and kissing Fluffy and talking in a sick loving voice [the annoying kind, y'know?]) Ooh, my little wukums! I know you miss me! Mwah! Isshn't my wukums shnukums such a ghood boy? You've been a good boy haven't you?

Flu: NGRAAAAAAAAAACH!!!

All (except...): O_O!!!

Pai: Er...why...Fluffy?

Akm: Well, he's...Fluffy! Cute and Cuddly! So sweet and lovable, loyal and adorable!!!

Jin: CUTE?!!! O_o

Hwo: CUDDLY?!!! o_O

Haz: SWEET AND LOVABLE?!!! O_o

Pai: LOYAL AND ADORABLE?!!! o_O

All (Except the two): O_O!!!

Hwo: Dude...I LOVE your taste!!!

Ukyo: I hate to break this CHERISHED moment, but we have to move on.

Akm: Right. Follow me. C'mon my little shnukums!!!

Flu: NGRAAAAAAACH!!!

Akm: (Pulling the chain attached to its black collar) No, no, my sweet! They're not dinner.

All (You know): O_O!!!

Akm: Don't worry. I'm sure when he gets to know you, like Ukyo, he won't try to eat you anymore. That'll take about...(rolls eyes and counts) a month I believe.

All (Yeah, them): O_O!!! AKUMA!!!

Akm: ^_^;;; Ehehehe...Recognition takes time.

To be continued+++++++