And so our team had made it past the evil Bryan Fury and his army of swans

"I resent that!" exclaimed Bryan

Hey! We're done with you, so leave

"Fine!" Bryan snorted and left

Anyway, our team had made their way from New York to Rome, in Italy

"Well, where else would it be? Liechtenstein?" Kazuya sarcastically commented

'Coming from someone who made us walk through the Bronx!' thought Lee as he lit up a ciggie

"Something tells me there's a letter nearby" spoke Jun, using her psychic powers

"Where about?" asked Kazuya, seeming quite eager to get his mail (as usual)

"Behind that tree" replied Jun, pointing to a tree.

And so, our team…didn't move at all

"Hey! Why are you moving?" Kazuya yelled

"You don't need all of us to run behind one tree do ya?" replied Ling

Kazuya rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I'll go by myself" he snorted and walked up to the tree.

"Aha!" he said, grabbing the letter, "Gotchaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggghhhhh!!!!!" he wailed

Our team, apart from Jun, Jin and Lee…didn't move at all

Jun, Jin and the menthol-cigarette-man Lee checked behind the tree and found a deep hole where Kazuya was.

"It was a trap!" exclaimed Jun, "But who would want to get back at Kazuya?"

Lee and Lei raised their hands.

"And there's others as well," Lei pointed out, "There's Michelle, Michelle's mother, Heihachi…"
 

Meanwhile, with Kazuya

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh-crap!" he exclaimed as he slid down a twirling slide and landed on the ground with a bump, "My purple suit! It's got a dirt stain on it! THIS IS DRY-CLEAN Y'KNOW!!!!!!"

"Who gives a damn?" a mysterious voice spoke

"Oh God! Not another one!" Kazuya moaned, "I've had it up to here with these mysterious voices!"

A figure, well, 2 figures, and shapely ones as well

"Get to the point!"

Ok, ok, 2 shapely figures walked out from the darkness, revealing themselves-

"Hehehehe, 'Revealing themselves', Hehehehe" chuckled Hwoarang

Hey! You're not in this story yet! Buzz off!

"Fine, I will!" Hwoarang stated and left

(sigh) let's try that again. 2 shapely figures walked out from the darkness, revealing themselves…(waiting to hear for any crude remark)…ah, better, to be…

"Nina! Anna! What the (beep)?!" exclaimed Kazuya
 
"Yep, that's us" said Nina in an evil voice, "and, if you already haven't guessed yet, we were hired by an anonymous source to take you out"

"Where to? The theatre? A restaurant? A Cinema" Kazuya remarked smart-ass-edly

Then suddenly, loads of straps flew out from nowhere and wrapped themselves around Kazuya's limbs, pinning him against a metal platform.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Kazuya exclaimed, "We're trying to keep this below the 15 rating! No matter how sexy I look!"

"Bet Anna would vouch for that" Nina mumbled

"What was that?" Anna asked, looking towards Nina

"Oh, nothing." Nina replied innocently, too innocently

Kazuya rolled his eyes
 

Meanwhile, with our team, 2 hours after Kazuya fell down the hole…

"…and then there's Devil in his real form for not going through with his deal, Paul of course, the staff and children and their parents from that little children's school that was demolished so Kazuya could build a mini-mall when through his so-evil-it-makes-Osama-Bin-Liner-look-like-a-kindergarten-teacher streak, and-"

"Ok, ok, we get the picture!" moaned Marshall, "Just shut up already!"

"The big question is," stated Forest, "Is how on earth are we gonna help find Kazuya?"

"Sure, yeah, anything you say" spoke Jin, tapping away on his Gameboy Advance (playing Tekken Advance, apparently)

"Honestly Jin" scolded Jun, "I'd thought you'd show more emotion then that!"

"Huh? What happened?" Jin said, but then turned to his game, "Ah darnit! I got a continue!"

"Well, he fell down that hole, so I guess we go down after him" suggested Lei

"Well, that's sorted then," sighed Lee, "But now the question is: Who's going down there first to check things out?"

Everyone looked at Yoshimitsu

"Hey! Why me?!" Yoshi whined

"Cos yur me besht mate you am!" slurred King, staggering around with a bottle of whiskey in his hands

"Ok, now an answer from someone who isn't discombobulated?" Yoshi stated

"Because you can simply go down there, check things out, then teleport back up and tell us" Steve replied

"Oh" Yoshi uttered
 

Anyway, as they're sorting out plans, let check up on Kazuya

"AGGGH! STOP THE PAIN! PLEASE GOD! STOP THE PAIN!!!!!" Kazuya wailed in agony

"Pfft, don't see why a simple anime can cause that much pain" Anna sniffed

Nina shrugged her shoulders

"Neither do I, but it hurts him anyway. Plus this isn't any ordinary anime, it's the Tekken Anime" she spoke

"Hey, we got this far without a quarrel!" Anna stated, sounding surprised

"Yeah. Y'know, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship" Nina quoted

Suddenly, Dr Evil and Mini-Me walked into the room and started singing

"#Just the two of us, we can make if we try, just the two of us, you and I. Just the two of us, building castles in the sky, just the two of us, you and I#"

"Hey! Get back to your recording!" Nina yelled, cracking a whip

"Ok Ms Williams," Dr Evil relented, "But you'll regret it. Mwahahahahaha, Mwahahahahaha, Mwahahahahaha, mwahaha-AGH!"

"Whatever, just get the hell outta here!" Nina said, after whipping Dr Evil's face.

Suddenly, Kazuya went through an Incredible-Hulk style change, only without the caveman vocabulary.

"IF YOU DON'T TURN THAT (beep)ING TV OFF, THEN I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASSES!" Devil Kazuya hissed

"I don't think you're in a position to threaten, Mr Mishima" Nina said with poisonous words

"WELL, LOOK UP INTO THE RED JEWEL AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN!" Devil Kazuya suggested

Nina looked up and the jewel and noticed it turning yellow, so she stuck some duct tape over it

"Can't trick me Mr Mishima" she said, "I have played Tekken 2 y'know"

"AH (beep)!" Devil Kazuya sighed and tried his best to look away from the TV

"I'm going out for a McDonalds, want anything?" Anna asked Nina

"I might as well go with you actually, after all, Kazuya's torso is kinda making me wanna-

Nina: Don't you even think about it!

Ok, ok, here's what she actually said

"I might as well go with you actually, I don't have anything much to do here really." She replied

"Ok then" Anna replied, and the two sisters left

Devil Kazuya reverted back into normal Kazuya

"Oh God, only a miracle could save me now!" he sighed

At that moment, Yoshimitsu slid down the same slope and landed right in front of Kazuya

"Yoshimitsu! Thank God!" Kazuya said in praise, "Listen, I need you to do me a favour"

"You want me to cut you free from those shackles?" Yoshi guessed

"That, and press 'Stop' on that video recorder over there" Kazuya answered, nudging his head to his left

"What video recor-OH MY GOD!" wailed Yoshi as he saw what was on there, "I really did not wanna see that!"

"How d'ya think I feel? Nina and Anna forward-winded the anime right to that spot and press pause so I've been stuck here staring at it for an hour and a half!" Kazuya growled

"Hmmmm, you'd think you'd get an ere-"

"Don't even say it Yoshi, just press 'Stop' on that VCR and cut me down!"

Yoshimitsu relented and did what he was told.

"Good" sighed Kazuya as he put the purple jacket-part of his purple suit back on, "Now let's get the hell outta here"

"Hey, wait a minute, you were wearing your jacket when you slid down here, how did you take it off when you were strapped onto there?" Yoshi pondered

"Nina took a photo of us together to make a postcard to her relatives in Ireland" Kazuya replied, "Well, I think that's what she said at least. After all, with a celebrity like myself I can't blame her"

Yoshi sighed and teleported him and Kazuya back onto the surface with the rest of the gang.

"KAZUYA!" Jun cried out

"JUN!" Kazuya cried back and they both ran out to each other, suddenly moving into slow motion whilst Tchaikovesky's 'Romeo and Juliet' tune played, and ran into a hug, kissing each other

"Awwwww, such a sweet romantic cliché" Tiger sighed, flicking a tear from his eye

"Wish that was me there instead of Kazuya" whined Lei

"Don't worry Lei!" said Ling, cheery as ever, "You'll get a girlfriend soon enough. Not me though, cos I'm too young"

"Pity, cos you seem like the kind of girl I could get along with" Lei suavely chatted, causing a giggle from Ling, whilst Panda rolled her eyes, holding out her paw in Kuma's face, keeping him back.

Suddenly, a gunshot rang out.

"AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" screamed Ling

"OW, MY EARS!" exclaimed Lee, jumping around

As everyone calmed down, they spotted Steve on the ground.

"OH MY GOD," yelled Jin, "THEY KILLED STEVE!"

"YOU (beep)STARDS-Hey, is that a pink elephant" Hwoarang spoke, then fell asleep

"Well," sighed Kazuya, "We'll have to find a replacement member for Steve"

"No, it's alright, I'm not really dead!" Steve reassured the group, getting up on his feet in the flick of a wrist

Oh yes you are! (shoots Steve)

"Owch!" wailed Steve and he fell down to the ground again

"Well, who's gonna replace Steve then?" asked Jin

Hwoarang is

"HWOARANG?????" exclaimed Jin, "WHY HWOARANG!?!?"

"Because nobody likes you man!" Hwoarang smugly replied

"Yeah, sure, anything you say" Jin retorted as he tapped away on his Gameboy Colour
 

And so, Kazuya escaped the clutches of Nina and Anna, but what of our favourite Irish lasses?

"Dammit, you dumb ho, you let him get away!" growled Anna

"Don't blame me bitch, you were the one that wanted to get a McDonalds!" Nina hissed back

Well, they're bickering as usual. But is this the last we have heard of Nina and Anna?

"I hope not" spoke King, "After all, that tight purple number!"

"Ah yeah, that rocks!" said Lei, supporting King's point of view

"I prefer Anna's red dress myself" said Paul

"Ah yeah, I see where you're coming from" replied Forest

"Forest! Stop making such perverted remarks!" scolded Marshall, "But then, whoo baby! That pink suit from T4"

"Hmmmmm-hm!" they all chimed together

"Tsk," moaned Nina, "Men!"

"You can say that again!" replied Anna
 

Stay tuned next time for 'The Search For The Holy Mail Part 8: Pac-Jin, when:

o The Jacks make their appearance

o Jin gets sucked into a videogame and has to win to get free again

o King gets drunk…once again!

o Jun gets pregnant and gives birth to Tiger's son, so they go onto the Jerry Springer show and Kazuya starts wailing on Tiger but Steve, the bouncer, breaks that fight up, then Jin comes in and also starts wailing on Tiger, but Steve breaks up that fight as well, then Heihachi makes and appearance and everyone starts wailing on him, even Steve! Ok, that's not gonna happen in the next story, but it would be cool if it did.
 

To be continued…