It all started at a typical TEKKEN COMMITTEE meeting:

"Hey, isn’t something missing in here?" asked Lee.

Kazuya looked around the Committee room. "I don’t notice anything," he answered.

Lee shook his head. "I just think something...or someONE, is missing. Also, have you noticed that the air is a little fresher in here?"

The Committee sniffed the air.

"Ack, man, it smells like cigarettes in here!" complained Lei.

"Yeah, ‘a little fresher’ my ass!" exclaimed Julia.

Lee sighed. "What I mean was that the air doesn’t smell like...’imported’ cigarettes. Besides, I can’t help my smoking habit, so deal with it!" Lee lit up another cigarette, and smoked.

Kazuya raised a brow. "Hey, you’re right. Hwoarang? Hwoarang, are you tripping out? Michelle, he sits next to you; is he here?"

"He doesn’t sit next to me," said Michelle.

Kazuya looked annoyed. "Well, whoever sits next to him, please tell me if he’s here or not!"

The Committee all gathered at Hwoarang’s spot. Kazuya slapped his forehead. "Lee, memo: Teach Committee the importance of paying attention."

Lee looked away from the group. "Huh?"

Kazuya’s fist shook, and he hit Lee with the bumper of a car. "I said to take a frickin’ memo for me!"

"Sorry, sorry," said Lee as he removed the bumper from his head. He grabbed his memo pad, and tapped his pen on it.

"Lee, write. NOW." (Haha...get it? Write now? Right now? Hahaha.)

"I didn’t hear what you said—"

Lee was hit with a license plate. "Alright, alright, I’m writing, I’m writing."

"Hey, Hwoarang isn’t here. And we’re actually saying his name correctly," said Jin. "Hey dad, you think maybe we’ve been getting high on the second-hand smoke?"

Kazuya placed a finger on his chin. "It’s a possibility...but anyway, so he’s not here; I’m sure Hwoarang had a good reason to not be here. Of course, I could also say that I look awful in the purple suit."

Paul’s face lit up.

"But I won’t." Kazuya threw the hood of a car at Paul’s head. "Alright then, so we’ll just continue with the meeting."

"Uh, actually, we just started the meeting," whispered Lee.

"Quiet you! Alright then...this week...we’re going to...uh..."

Lee checked his memo pad. "Website."

"Yeah! That’s right...today we’re going to discuss the official Tekken Committee site," announced Kazuya.

" ‘www-dot-Tekken-Committee-dot-com’, that’s done," said Paul.

Kazuya’s fist trembled, and he threw some modems at Paul.

" ‘www.tekken-committeee.net' !" exclaimed Kazuya.

Michelle raised her hand. "Why not ‘dot-com’?"

"Apparently, ‘Tekken-Commitee-dot-com’ is... a porno site," explained Lee.

"Oh, figures," said  Michelle.

Yoshimitsu was glancing at his laptop. "Hey, according to ‘Tekken-Committee-dot-com’, someone by the name of ‘GannyBoy’ made a huge contribution of nude Michelle photos."

"WHAT?! Let me see!" exclaimed Michelle as she snatched the laptop from Yoshimitsu. She glanced at the page for a minute, then she pulled out an ax as she approached Ganryu.

"Did…you…put…those…up?!" she demanded.

Ganryu pointed to himself. "Who, me? No, my dear Michelle. I would not want anyone to exploit you—"

"Hey, ‘GannyBoy’ has the same e-mail address as Ganryu!" observed Jin.

Michelle immediately chased Ganryu around the room with her ax.

"You’d think he could run faster than that, considering he used that speed to get the Surge," said Lee.

"Maybe he just really likes Surge," said Kazuya as he drank some of the delicious citrus-flavored beverage of the same name.

"Hey Lei—whoa, I rhymed! Cool!" exclaimed King. "Anyway, couldn’t Michelle get in trouble for attempted murder?"

Lei swat his hand at King. "No mommy,  I don’t want to go to school today…I wanna stay at home at watch cartoons," Lei mumbled as he then curled up and pulled out a teddy bear out of nowhere.

"I swear, that man gets stranger and stranger by the day," Bryan commented.

"Aren’t you going to stop this?" Julia asked Kazuya "Mother may get a little too crazy with that ax!"

Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "I don’t know, this is actually pretty funny."

"KAZUYA," Julia said in a threatened tone.

"Fine, alright…Michelle! Ganryu! Stop that now. I don’t want you spilling blood on this carpet I recently installed! You can carry on after the meeting!"

Michelle immediately put her ax away, and sat down. Ganryu did the same.

"Damn, you got Kazuya doing what you want," said Jin. "I’m impressed." Then he and Julia began to make out.

Kazuya muttered to himself something about stealing his son’s clothes the next time he went forest bathing, then cleared his throat. "Alright then, so we are going to go with ‘Tekken-Committee-Dot-Net’. I will be assigning jobs in a minute, so—"

At this moment,  Hwoarang burst into the room. "Dude!" he exclaimed.

"Bob!" exclaimed the Committee.

"Dude, that’s not my name!" he shouted.

"Why are you late?" asked Kazuya.

Hwoarang gave Kazuya a blank look. "Huh? I’m late?" he looked at his watch. "Holy shit! Sorry about that…I had to earn some money today."

The Committee all stared at Hwoarang.

"You have a job?" asked Nina.

Hwoarang scratched the back of his head. "Eh, sort of. I just have to show up every month, but I get paid lots of money for what little I do."

"Hey, sounds like a cushy job," said Paul. "What is it?"

Hwoarang grinned as he lit up a blunt. "All I have to do is go to this research facility place, and they pay me to smoke pot—I mean, imported cigarettes. Cool, huh?"

The Committee all gave Hwoarang a funny look.

"I’m not even dignifying this with a response," said Kazuya. "Just sit down, Bob."

"Dude!"

"I don’t care if that’s not your name! Anyway, we were deciding on out official website."

"Dude, ‘Tekken-Committee-Dot-Com’ is already taken."

Kazuya rapped his knuckles on the desk. "Lee, why don’t you do some talking? I think I’m about to have a breakdown." He turned around in his chair to face away from the Committee.

"Wouldn’t be the first time," muttered Paul. Kazuya tossed a steering wheel over his shoulder, and his hit Paul in the head.

Jun clutched her abdomen. "I don’t feel very good."

Kazuya turned around. "What’s wrong, honey?"

Jun smiled weakly. "I think it’s just cramps or something. I need to step out for a minute, that’s all."

"Go on ahead. I hope you’re okay!" He gave her a quick kiss on her cheek, then turned back around as Jun left the room.

Lee cleared his throat. He was silent for a few moments, until he turned to Kazuya and asked "Hey, what am  I supposed to say again?"

Kazuya responded by smacking Lee in the head with a custom license plate that read "IDIOT".

Lee immediately remembered. "Alright, Hwoarang, we already decided on ‘Tekken-Committee-Dot-Net, so don’t worry about that. Anyway, we are going to assign certain tasks to certain members…Nina, you get to moderate the message boards and chatrooms."

"Alright! I love banning people," she said.

"That’s not the only thing you love," muttered Anna.

"Shut the hell up, bitch!" shouted Nina.

"You, ho!" exclaimed Anna.

Suddenly, Kazuya tossed a sign to the sisters that read "STOP IT." The two immediately stopped.

King, Paul, Bryan, Lei, Jin, Lee, Law, Ganryu, and Yoshimitsu all groaned as they put their money away.

"Aw, damn! She said ‘ho’ too!" exclaimed Law.

"Alright…King, you’re going to be in charge of the contests, since you’re into fun stuff like that."

"Hell yeah!" shouted King as he opened up a can of beer and chugged the whole thing. "WHOOO!" he added.

"Indeed," said Lee monotonously. "Kat-zumi is in charge of  the virtual Tekken Pets on the site."

Kat-zumi purred.

"But she’s a damn cat!" shouted Paul. "She doesn’t even have opposable thumbs to—AAAAAAAA!!!"

Paul was immediately assaulted by the cute, cuddly, fuzzy mascot.

"*HISS* *HISS* *GRRR*," she said.

"If Jun were here, she’d know what that meant," said Paul.

Jun opened the door quickly, and stuck her head inside. "She says ‘Up yours’," she translated, then left.

Kazuya tossed Kat-zumi some squid legs. Kat-zumi purred very loudly.

"Like, grossness," said Ling.

"Alright then," said Lee. "Lei, your job is to make sure we don’t do anything too illegal on our site."

"Sure thing!" he exclaimed.

Ganryu raised his hand.

"Yes?" asked Lee.

"Does porn count as being illegal?"

Lee chose not to dignify that with a response.

"Hwoarang," continued Lee. "You are in charge of putting up sound bytes of our meetings for the fans."

"Dude, what? The sound bites fans? I didn’t know sound could do that! Wow!"

"That sentence was about as much sense as a sentence said by Kazuya if he were hit in the head by a dodge ball," said Julia.

"Anyway," continued Lee, "Yoshimitsu, your job is to—"

The phone rang.

"Damn, all these interruptions are getting on my nerves," said Lee.

Kazuya finally turned around in his chair. "Now you see what I go through?"

Lee ignored his brother. "Hello?…..yes, this is one of them….uh-huh….uh-huh…WHAT?! We’ll be right there!" He hung up the phone.

"Lee, please explain quickly what is happening right now before I beat the living crap out of you," Kazuya said with an eerily calm tone to his voice.

"It’s father…apparently, someone beat him up, and he’s in the hospital."

Kazuya sneered. "So what? He deserved what was coming to him a long time ago."

"But he’s on life-support—"

Lee was interrupted by the sound of  someone honking a car horn. Lee leaned out the window.

"Hurry up, Lee! The sooner, the better!" exclaimed Kazuya.

 Deciding not to question how Kazuya was able to get to the car so quickly, shrugged his shoulders, and left.

The Committee was silent. A gentle breeze blew into the room.

"Uh…aren’t they forgetting something?" asked Julia.

"Who’s going to lead the Committee? Kazuya, the head of the Committee, and Lee, who I assume is second-head of the Committee, aren’t here," stated Nina.

"Oh my God! Who will direct us through this?!" cried Law. Paul smacked Law upside the head.

Jin stood up.

"I’ll lead this Committee!" announced Jin.

The Committee looked at Jin wide-eyed.

"You’re kidding, right?" asked Bryan.

"You gotta have serious nerves of steel to be able to do this job," said King.

Jin folded his arms. "You all don’t think I can do this, do you?" he asked. "How hard can it be? Other than coming up with bizarre meetings, all my father really does is curse you all out and throw innumerable objects at a majority of  you!"

"True," agreed Michelle. "But he does it for our own good."

"Speak for yourself," muttered Paul.

"No offense, but we really don’t see you as one to go postal over every little thing like your father," added Julia.

Jin grimaced. "You all really suck, you know that?"

King immediate stood up, and pointed at Jin. "Now THAT’S the way to do it!"

"If you keep acting like that, you will definitely be taken more seriously," agreed Yoshimitsu.

The grimace was immediately replaced by a grin. "You really think so?" asked a starry-eyed Jin.

The Committee slapped their foreheads.

"Dude, now you’re acting like your pansy self again!" Hwoarang shouted.

Jin’s jaw fell. "What? Pansy? I’m not a pansy! I can be mean if I want to…it’s just that’s not what my mom wants…"

"Oh God, someone else needs to head us, because Jin is SUCH a momma’s boy!" whined Paul.

Jin gnashed his teeth, and curled a fist. He then threw a backpack filled with very heavy schoolbooks at Paul.

"Paul, be quiet!" shouted Jin.

"Damn, don’t say it like a wimp! Say what your father would say, like ‘Shut the hell up’ or ‘Shut your damn cakehole’; something along those lines," said Bryan.

Jin sighed. "But I was told by mom that swearing isn’t good—"

Ling interrupted him. "Like, your dad does it like, all the time! If he like, does it, then it must be like, totally okay for you!"

"That’s rather poor logic there," stated Jin. "But you have a point. I think I will be a little more aggressive as your temporary leader. What do you all think?"

"I think Jun’s been out for a long time," observed Lei.

"Yeah, where is she?" asked Anna.

Jin got into a thinking pose. "Good question. Alright then, as your temporary leader, I say we go out and look for her!"

The Committee was too busy playing Tekken Monopoly.

"Ha! You landed on the ‘Mishima Zaibatsu’, and I have two hotels on there! You owe me ten thousand yen!" shouted Nina.

"Aw, crap," groaned Lei.

"Dude, it glows," said Hwoarang as he stared at the dice.

Jin tapped his foot "Come on, Committee, let’s go!"

"In a minute, I’m about to get a hotel on the Mishima Dojo," said Paul.

Ignoring the fact that it would be really weird to have a hotel on the Mishima Dojo in real life, Jin ran up to the Monopoly board, and kicked it, sending playing pieces, little hotels, money, and cards flying everywhere.

"Dammit, you’re all going to help me find my mom, and that’s that!" Jin said. "Now MOVE IT!"

The Committee quickly hustled out of the room. King quickly gave Jin a thumbs up.

"That’s the way to do it!" he exclaimed.

Jin folded his arms, and an arrogant smirk appeared on his face.
 
 

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Kazuya and Lee quietly walked into Heihachi’s room. All was quiet, save for the sounds of the life-support machine. Heihachi was wearing a cast on both legs and both arms.

"Wow, he looks terrible," observed Lee.

"He always looks terrible," replied Kauzya. The two stood beside their father’s bed.

"What do we do?" asked Lee.

Kauzya shrugged his shoulders. "I guess we just do what needs to be done." Kazuya reached for the plug, and pulled it. "Yoink! See you in hell, you old bastard! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Kazuya, don’t you think we should ask him who did this to him?" asked Lee as he took the plug out of his brother’s hand and replaced it into the outlet.

"Why? So we can give him or her a fruit basket?"

Lee sighed. "No….all right, listen. First, we should try to wake him up. Got any ideas?"

Kazuya thought about this for a moment. He nodded. "I have a great way of waking him up."

A worried expression came over Lee’s face. "Uh, okay. Go for it." He had a feeling that encouraging Kazuya was not a good idea at a time like this.

Kazuya cracked his knuckles and took a deep breath. He raised his hands to the level of his chest—

--and got a hold of Heihachi’s throat, strangling him.

"Hey old man, wake up! Lee and I gotta ask you some very important questions!" Kazuya shouted as he continued to strangle his father.

"Kazuya, I think he’s awake now!" Lee pleaded.

Kazuya stopped momentarily to turn around and look at his silver-haired brother. "He is?" He turned back around to see that Heihachi was indeed conscious. "So he is. Cool!" Kazuya resumed strangling Heihachi.

"Kazuya, we can’t get any information out of him if you strangle him to death!" Lee stated as he pulled his brother away.

Kazuya grimaced. "I don’t see why you’re being so nice, considering he’s the one that started the rumor that you were gay."

Lee’s jaw fell. "Hey, you’re right." He glared at Heihachi. "YOU BASTARD! I’LL KILL YOU!"

Kazuya grabbed the back of Lee’s sleeveless purple shirt. "Lee, I thought we were supposed to question him first."

Lee pouted. "Fine, but only if we get to wail on him later." He calmed down, and faced Heihachi.

"You two are such disappointments! I have an obsessive insane asylum reject and a queer for sons!"

Kazuya and Lee both tried so hard to keep their cool.

"Father, we just wanted to ask you something—it wont take long," said Lee.

"Fine, but make it quick," snapped Heihachi. "The nurse will be coming in soon," Heihachi grinned.

"Please let it be a male nurse," prayed Kazuya.

"We just want to know who beat you up," Lee said bluntly.

"Oh…well, if you must know, it was a woman with glowing yellow eyes and a wolf-spirit floating behind her, mimicking her every move. She was definitely possessed."

"Oh, a possessed woman with a wolf spirit floating behind her?! Great, you’ve been much help, YOINK!" Kazuya pulled the plug again.

"Hey, we need to know what she looks like first!" exclaimed Lee as he re-replaced the plug.

Kazuya frowned. "Come on, how hard is it to find a possessed woman with a wolf spirit floating behind her?"

"Knowing you two, it could take years, so I’ll tell you some more about her: she used the Kazama style against me. What was also strange was the fact that she had a hairstyle similar to Jun’s," explained Heihachi.

"So, you’re saying…?" Kazuya asked

"I’m saying Jun is the she-devil that beat me up, you stupid boy!" Heihachi shouted.

Kazuya’s mouth twitched. He suddenly burst out laughing. "Oh my God, that is so damn funny. Nice try dad. Come on Lee, let’s hurry back to the Committee before they go into total anarchy."

"Okay." Kazuya and Lee stepped out of the room. Heihachi was relieved that his sons left. Suddenly, Lee ran into the room, and  pulled the plug, then quickly left as Heihachi called him names.
 
 

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"Alright, sorry about that, but we needed to get some-WHAT THE @#%$?!?!" exclaimed Kazuya as he walked into the room.

The Committee all looked at Kazuya and Lee with wide eyes. In Kazuya’s chair was Jin, who was wearing—

"My purple suit! Jin, what in the name of holy HELL are you doing in my suit?!"

Jin folded his arms, and sneered. "I had to get into character while heading this Committee while you and Lee were gone!"

Kazuya folded his arms, and sneered back at Jin. "Well I’m back now. And what do you mean by ‘get into character’?"

Jin smirked. "Why, I was running the meeting like you would, father."

Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "And that would be...?"

"Why, throwing things at people and throwing out insults, of course. Oh yes, and being really sarcastic."

Kazuya’s fist shook violently. "I’m just going to look past all this, and get you into therapy. Also, take that purple suit off; it looks silly on you."

"You’d think he’d realize that if it looks bad on his son, it must look bad on him—after all they look a-like—" Paul said.

"Paul, shut the hell up! TWAH!!!" shouted Kazuya as he uppercut Paul in the face. Suddenly, the Committee started laughing.

Kazuya turned around to face the rest of the Committee. "What is so funny?"

"Dude, ‘TWAH’? What’s that?" asked Hwoarang.

Kazuya’s face turned red.

"I think they just found out about your little speech impediment," Lee mumbled to Kazuya.

"You know, now that I think about it, Kazuya always shouted that when he fought," reminisced Nina.

"Yeah, I never knew what was up with that," Yoshimitsu added.

"Like, what is ‘TWAH’, anyway?" asked Ling.

"Yeah, Jin, Julia, Forrest,  King (because he’s the new King), Ling, Bob, and I haven’t heard this ‘TWAH’ thing before!" exclaimed Bryan.

"Stop calling me that!" Hwoarang shouted.

Kazuya ignored him. "If you all must know, that…’TWAH’…thing…it’s a little speech impediment that I have thanks to that cliff incident."

"Damn, that cliff incident really screwed you up for life," concluded Michelle.

"No kidding," replied Kazuya. He rested his face in his hand for a moment, then faced the Committee one more.

"Where is Jun?" he asked.

 Jin(who was no longer wearing Kazuya’s suit) answered this. "Well, we split up and tried to look for her, but she wasn’t in the building, so we checked our house, and she wasn’t there either, so we looked at some nature places, and she wasn’t there either."

Kazuya shivered for a moment. "Oh my…maybe it’s true."

"What’s true? Did you talk to grandfather?" asked Jin.

"That we did," Lee answered.

"So who attacked him? I want to meet this person and thank her or him," said Julia.

"Well, he didn’t know who it was for sure, but he said that the attacker had glowing yellow eyes, a wolf-spirit floating behind her; she had a haircut similar to Jun’s, and the attacker used Jun’s style," Lee explained.

The only sound heard in the room was that of jaws dropping onto the floor(yes, even Kat-zumi’s little jaw.).

"No way! Jun’s like, way nice and stuff!" Ling said in disbelief.

"Well, I personally don’t blame her for beating up Heihachi…after all he did throw her husband into that volcano, and shot her son in the head," said Law.

"Don’t remind us," Kazuya and Jin said in unison.

"But Jun being possessed…that’s not like her at all!" Nina stated.

"I know, she’s like the Queen of Purity," replied King.

"Maybe we should further investigate this matter, and—" Lei started, but at that moment, Jun walked in.

"Hi, Jun," the Committee chimed.

Jun smiled nervously. "Um...hello. I’m sorry I was away for so long. Did I miss aything?"

Law was about to answer, but then Kazuya threw some hubcaps at Law.

"Nothing at all, honey! We were just discussing our webpage. Are you feeling better?" inquired Kazuya.

Jun nodded. "I think so, yes."

Kazuya grinned a little too innocently. "Great, honey! Now then, let’s get started on that webpage!"

"Alright!" the Committee said with stupid-looking nervous grins on their faces.

Jun tugged Kazuya’s sleeve. "Is the Committee acting a little weird to you?"

Kazuya smiled innocently again. "No, they’re just insane, as usual. Why do you ask?"

Jun sighed. "They just seem a bit too cheerful; even Ling is a bit cheery. And why are you so happy?"

Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "What, I can’t be happy once in a while?"

"She’s got a point, man...you’re always pissed off," remarked King.

"Yeah; I’m more likely to see a kangaroo with boxing gloves than to see a smile on your face," added Lei.

Just then, a kangaroo with boxing gloves stepped into the Committee Room, took one of  King’s beers, and then walked out.

The Committee was completely puzzled.

"Uh..." said Michelle.

"That made...no sense," said Nina.

"For once, I don’t know what to say," said Paul.

"This Committee is REALLY weird," Julia responded.

"Dude?" Hwoarang threw away the joint he was smoking, and pulled out a bigger one.

"That bastard stole one of my beers!" King exclaimed angrily.

"I know three words that can sum this up: What. The. @#$%," said Bryan.

"Dude, those symbols just ruined the effect," remarked Hwoarang.

"Alright, with that... live version of Hwoarang’s hallucinations behind us—" started Kazuya.

"Dude, I don’t hallucinate about kangaroos with boxing gloves! I hallucinate about dinosaurs with boxing gloves," corrected Hwoarang.

Kazuya decided to leave that one alone. "Let’s continue with our—hey, where’d Jun go?" asked Kazuya.

The Committee looked around the room.

"Meow!"

"Hey, there’s a note attached to Kat-zumi’s collar," declared Yoshimitsu.

Kazuya took the note, and read it. "Oh, she’s not feeling well again, so she had to step out again."

"I never saw her leave," said Bryan.

"Maybe she left while we were still wondering about that kangaroo," replied Julia as a puzzled look came over her face.

Lei’s cell phone suddenly went off—the ringer’s tune was that of ‘Jingle Bells’.

The Committee all stared at him.

"What? I like ‘Jingle Bells’," defended Lei.

"Just answer that damn phone outside," Kazuya replied bluntly.

Lei rolled his eyes, and left the room to answer his call.

"I don’t like this," said Nina. "Why would Jun leave like that without telling us?"

"I bet she’s got a secret of some sorts," suggested Yoshimitsu.

"Hey, there is NO WAY that my mom is possessed!" exclaimed Jin.

"Stranger things have happened," Julia said to herself.

Suddenly, the door opened, and Lei stumbled in.

"Damn-Sam, Lei!  What happened? You’re completely trashed!" exclaimed Nina.

"Like, what totally happened to you?" asked Ling.

"It was...the...devil lady...I thought....it...was Jun, but...then...she beat me up!" Lei fell down afterwards.

"Wow, wonder why this lady beat him up?" asked Anna.

Kazuya leaned back in his chair. "Who cares? Lei probably hit on her, and she wailed on him."

"Hey, what if she decides to go after us?" asked Lee.

Kazuya thought about that possibility. "Didn’t think about that. I say we get her before she gets us. Oh yeah, and we’ll see if she really is Jun."

"And if she isn’t?" asked Lee.

Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Then we’ll probably be sued for assault. Alright Committee, let’s go!"
 
 

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The Committee was staked out at Kazuya’s house.

"Why are we staked out at your own house?" whispered Michelle.

"Because if that devil-lady sees us, then she might want to trash us on the spot. The way I see it, if we jump her first, nobody gets hurt—except for Paul, but that’s because I don’t like him," explained Kazuya.

Paul frowned.

"Someone’s in the house," said Nina as she looked through her infrared goggles.

"Can you tell who it is?" asked Lee.

Nina shot a glare at Lee (Well, you couldn’t tell too much with those goggles over her eyes). "Duh! It’s Jun!"

"Oh yeah," said Lee.

"Got any sixes?" asked King.

"Go fish," answered Yoshimitsu.

"Hey, be quiet, the both of you!" Kazuya whispered harshly.  "This is a very critical time, and we can’t afford any interruptions—"

Suddenly, the sound of happy music was playing. The Committee’s ears all perked up.

"Is that...?" started Anna.

"It is!" exclaimed Ling as she jumped up and down excitedly as she pointed at the source of the happy music.

"ICE CREAM!" exclaimed the Committee. They all immediately left their posts, and ran for the ice cream truck.

"They better have strawberry shortcake ice cream!" exclaimed Julia.

"Like, I hope they have bubble-gum flavored Popsicles," said Ling.

"Dude! Just when I had some mad munchies too!" announced Hwoarang.

"If they don’t have coffee ice cream, someone’s gonna die!" warned Kazuya.
 
 

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FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

"Like I was saying," said Kazuya as he took another lick of coffee ice cream, "This is a very critical time. We can’t afford any more interruptions."

"I don’t see(munch) Jun anymore," said Nina as she ate some of her Toasted Almond Crunch ice cream.

"That’s strange," replied Lee as he finished off his fudgesicle.

"Dude, I got a total brain freeze," groaned Hwoarang.

"I told you not to eat it so fast," scolded Michelle. She licked some more of her Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream, then noticed Ganryu staring at her.

"Why are you staring at me?!" she demanded.

"Wouldn’t it be romantic if we shared that?" he asked.

"Hell no!" she answered quickly, and to keep him from approaching her, she pulled out her hatchet.

"You know, this is all the ice-cream man’s fault that we lost Jun," complained Kazuya.

"Yeah, but who can resist the temptation of delicious, frozen, flavored cream?" Lei asked rhetorically.

"*Purr*," agreed Kat-zumi as she licked more of her little cone of strawberry ice cream.

Jin turned around. "This is getting bore...oh God." An expression of fear appeared oh Jin’s face.

"What’s wrong, honey.....oh, shit," said Julia as she dropped the remains of her ice cream. Her face showed fear as well.

"What’s going on—Whoa," said Lei. He, Bryan, King, and Yoshimitsu were now facing whatever it was that freaked out Jin and Julia.

The rest of the Committee, except for Kazuya(he was ranting about where Jun could possibly be), turned around, all wearing worried expressions on their faces.

"—Other than that, I don’t know where Jun is," concluded Kazuya.

"Kazuya...." Lee whimpered as he poked Kazuya in the shoulder.

"Not now Lee, I’m trying to think."

"Kazuya...you should really see this..."

"I said NOT NOW! Damn! I’ll break your arm if you don’t stop poking me."

"Kazuya, you really, REALLY, should look at this!" Lee grabbed Kazuya’s head and faced it in the direction that the rest of the Committee was looking at.

"That’s it, I’m going to break your—SWEET HOLY MOTHER FRIGGIN’ MERCIFUL @$%&^%*#$*@&$&@#$&*%$&#^#*%&##%&$*##&^$ WHAT THE @#$#$&#@%^&#& IS THAT?!"

"Okay, that was the most use of  ‘@’, ‘#’, ‘$’, ‘%,’ ‘^’, ‘*’, and ‘&’ I ever saw," remarked King.

Standing in front of the Committee was a woman whose eyes were glowing yellow, wore a painted-on suit, had a shoulder-length haircut, and a wolf spirit, engulfed in a blue flame, floated behind her. On her right arm was a tattoo that looked a lot like the one on Jin’s arm, except it was reversed.

"Oh shit! Dude, we’re gonna die!" shouted Hwoarang.

"No-one’s going to die," said Kazuya.

"She looks pretty murderous," said Lee.

"It’s like I said, she looks a lot like Jun," added Lei(who recovered really fast apparently).

Suddenly, the Unknown glared at Lei.

"Ah shit, I did it again," groaned Lei.

"DON’T CALL ME JUN!!!" shouted the Unknown. She grabbed Lei, and executed Kazuya’s (or Jin’s? Take your pick) Bitch Kicks throw.

"Hey, she just did that throw of yours," said Lee. "Does that mean she can...?"

"Hey, what’d you trash Lei for? He just thought you looked like Jun, which, well...you do," said Bryan.

"I’M NOT JUN!!!!" Unknown shouted again. She pulled a sword out of nowhere, and stabbed Bryan in the stomach with it.

"OH MY GOD!!!" shouted Bryan as he flailed his arms.

"Methinks she knows all our moves," concluded Jin.

"Yeah, and she hates to be called ‘Jun’," added Law. Unknown smacked Law with two somersault kicks.

"Dude, we’re still gonna die!!!" cried Hwoarang.

 Kazuya rolled his eyes. "Let me handle this. I’m good when it comes to human-demon relations."

"Yeah, you’re a friggin’ demon ambassador," muttered Paul.

"TWAH!!!" shouted Kazuya as he uppercut Paul. The Committee laughed.

"Okay, the next person who laughs at my little ‘TWAH’ kiai dies."

The Committee became quiet. Kazuya cleared his throat and faced Unknown again.

"So what’s eating you?" he asked her.

"Real diplomatic question," Nina muttered to Michelle.

"WELL, I MOVED HERE A MONTH AGO, AND SINCE THEN, PEOPLE HARASS ME ABOUT BEING JUN KAZAMA. WHO IS THIS JUN KAZAMA? I’M SO SICK OF THESE PEOPLE THINKING I’M HER. ANYWAY, I GOT SO MAD, I STARTED WAILING ON EVERYONE THAT CONFUSES ME WITH THIS WOMAN!"

Kazuya folded his arms. "I can see why that’d piss you off. I used to beat a lot of people up for thinking I was Jin—"

"Hey!  What’s wrong with looking like me?" asked Jin.

"A lot, considering I’M THE ORIGINAL! YOU look like ME, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!"

Everyone, including Unknown, stared at Kazuya. Kazuya calmed down, and continued.

"Anyway, maybe I should tell you how I looked past it. But first, we need to—HOLY SHIT! IT’S JUN!"

Everyone was shocked. Unknown turned around, and saw Jun as well.

"Hey...what’s going on here?" asked Jun.

"It’s a really long story," muttered Bryan.

"Well, Jun, this is Unknown. See, we all kind of thought that maybe you were her, because every time you left the room, someone would get wailed on by someone whose description somewhat matched yours. But then, when we confronted her, she was saying how she was so pissed off at people who confused her with you. So now, we’re trying to solve this mess, and your showing up seems to help."

Jun paused for a few moments. "Wow. I can see why you all thought such a  thing."

"But we were like, proven totally wrong, you know?!" cheered Ling.

"Just why did you leave anyway, mom? I even had to go looking for you," said Jin.

"Oh, that..." Jun’s face turned red. "Well, I was waking up feeling a little sick this morning, you see...so I decided to go see a doctor."

"Oh God...," groaned Kazuya.

"Way to go knocking her up like that!" cheered King as he grabbed another can of beer.

Kazuya responded by smacking King with a car door.

"Well, he asked me to take a pregnancy test, and that  I should report back a little later. I go to the Committee, and I feigned illness so that I could see the results."

Kazuya began to sweat.

"Man, please tell me I get to remain as an only child," Jin said to himself.

"I saw the results...long story short,  I’m NOT pregnant; those stomach problems was just bad tofu."

Kazuya let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God!" He hugged Jun.

"HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME?!"

Kazuya turned to face Unknown. "Oh yeah. Hrm. Hey, Evil Wolf Spirit Guy, you mind making yourself dormant so I can see her human side?"

The Wolf Spirit did nothing.

"OH, WAIT," said Unknown. She shrugged her shoulders, making the Wolf Spirit shrug its shoulders. The Wolf Spirit disappeared, and Unknown  had a more human appearance; her eyes became green, and her hair was ebony with crimson streaks. She was still wearing the painted-on outfit, though.

"See? Now I definitely don’t look like Jun."

Jin pointed at her. "Hey! She looks like my stalker, Crystal-what’s- her-face!"

Julia frowned. "Yeah! She does!" Julia immediately raised her fists.

"Hold it, there’s not going to be anymore fighting, for now. What’s your name?"

Unknown shook her head. "Namco didn’t give me one."

Kazuya sighed. "Damn it, Namco really needs to stop screwing around, the slack-asses. Tell you what, we’ll give you a name and stuff, and you stop terrorizing us, okay?"

"And he wonders why he wasn’t in Tekken 3," Lee muttered to himself.

Unknown smiled. "Okay! Just don’t call me Jun, or think I look like Jun!"

Kazuya grinned. "DEAL!" He leaned towards Lee. "Lee, memo: send Unknown a very large fruit basket for wailing on my dad."
 
 

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AT THE COMMITTEE ROOM

"Alright Unknown, in order to give you an identity, you’re going to have to tell us a few things. First off, you need a name."

Unknown thought about it. "How about Kori Azure?"

Kazuya rested his hand on his chin again. "Sounds rather Final Fantasy-ish, but whatever."

"Sounds more like a porn name to me," said Ganryu.

"TWAH!!!" Kazuya uppercut Ganryu. He then turned to see if the rest of the Committee dared to laugh. No-one did.

"Alright then, ‘Kori Azure’ it is," continued Kazuya. "Now then, what about your age? You look twenty-one, so we’ll put that down. Lee, ask her the next question."

"Why?’ whined Lee. Kazuya shot him an evil glare.

"Fine," sighed Lee. "Unknown, howmuchdoyouweigh?"

"What?" she asked.

"Howmuchdoyouweigh?"

"I can’t understand what you’re saying."

"HowmuchdoyouWEIGH?"

Kori gave Lee a puzzled look. Nina walked up to Unknown,

"Just make something up," she whispered. "I really weigh 133 pounds, thanks to my hips, but I don’t let anyone know about that."

"Oh, okay," replied Kori. "I weigh about 118 pounds."

"Wow, you weigh more than most of the girls here," replied Jin.

The women all looked at each other nervously.

"Shall we find her blood type?: Jun suggested.

"I was about to get to that!" exclaimed Kazuya. "Kori, you mind if Bryan here sucks a little of your blood?"

Kori gave Kazuya a very strange look. "Say what?"

"Yeah...Bryan’s a vampire, see—"

"I’m not a vampire!" exclaimed Bryan.

Kazuya’s jaw fell an inch. "You’re not? I thought you were!"

"No! I’m a ZOMBIE, not a vampire! Where’d you go thinking that?"

Kazuya tapped his foot impatiently. "Well, see, I thought you were a vampire because you have this dislike for sunlight , you’re a walking dead guy, and nothing seems to really hurt you."

"Well, I’m a zombie, okay? And NO, I don’t eat people’s brains!"

"There goes that thought," said Law.

"Alright then, to the blood bank we go," said Kazuya.

Narrator: So the Committee managed to get the blood Type for Kori (it was O),  and found out what her hobbies, likes, and dislikes were as well.

"You could have just written it out," said Kazuya.

Narrator:  I’m getting carpal tunnel’s syndrome!

"That’s your fault!"

"Excuse me, who are you talking to?" asked Kori.

Kazuya jumped. "AAA! I was...just rehearsing for the next time Lee screws up."

"Gee, thanks," said Lee.

"Well, you now have your own persona, Kori. I hope that you can...deal with your demon, and that you live a good life. And please, try not to get so upset when people confuse you with me."

Kori smiled. "I won’t. Thank you all for helping me out."

"No, thank YOU, because you beat my dad up," Kazuya replied with a grin.

"Well, I guess I should go now. See ya!" she exclaimed. She stepped onto the train.

The Committee waved back.

"Cute lady...when she’s not wailing on us, anyway," said Lei.

"Meow, meow. *purr* ", said Kat-zumi.

"Kat-zumi wonders if we’ll be seeing her again," said Jun.

"Aw, who knows?" asked Julia.

"I still think she looks like my stalker," insisted Jin.

Kazuya faced Jin. "That reminds me..."

Jin’s jaw fell. "Wh...what are you about to do, dad?"

Kazuya grinned. "I found a good therapist for you."

‘"You’re putting me into therapy?!"

Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "What’s wrong with therapy? I was in therapy, and look at how well I turned out!"

Lee shook his head and waved his hands to warn the Committee to not comment on what Kazuya just said.

"Honey, why are we putting Jin in therapy?" asked Jun.

"It’s a long story," answered Kazuya. "It all started when you left..."
 

Narrator: So Unknown was made Known, and the Committee survived it!

"Unknown wasn’t really as much of a terror as I would have thought her to be. She just wailed on my dad and Lei. Frankly, I see that as a plus," replied Kazuya.

Narrator: And Bryan.

"Oh yeah...but anyway, I guess that’s the end of this episode. What say we go get some Starbucks?"

Narrator: I got some free time.
 
 

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AND NOW, A WORD FROM KAZUYA MISHIMA

"What the hell was THIS?! I really thought that Unknown was going to strike more terror than that! I guess the Committee is really that insane. Unknown was just a misunderstood character, I guess.

"What I really want to address is the absurdities in this story. Where did Roger come from, and why did he take King’s beer? Also, since when would we all want to get ice cream during a very critical time?  And why did Jin imitate me?! I suspect there was an inside joke in that one. Saiyan Rage is so demented, I swear. Also, I cannot help that little yell of mine. Saiyan Rage is REALLY demented.

"However, the scene where I kept pulling Heihachi’s plug was classic. In my opinion, it doesn’t get any better than that. I also admit that poking fun at the fact that a lot of people think Jun is Unknown was pretty funny.

"Anyway, this story was really weird. But,  I guess that’s part of Saiyan’s job. Until Next Time..."
 
 

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AND NOW, A WORD FROM SAIYAN RAGE

"You people better like this story! I got carpal tunnel’s syndrome working on this! I’ll sue you if you don't like this one!

"Okay, I won’t sue, but I really did get C.T.S. But I hope it will be worth it! Anyway, if those of you who thought Jun is Unknown and were offended by this story, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help poking fun at that. Also, Crystal, if you’re reading this, I was simply having fun with that "Unknown looks like Crystal" dealie.

"Oh, and don’t sue me because Unknown didn’t play as big a part as the title implied—this IS Tekken Committee, after all!  PEACE!!"

NEXT EPISODE: The Committee...runs out of money? What will become of the Committee? Will they be forced to disband? Say it isn’t so! How will the Committee get the money to keep the Committee going? Wait, since when did the Committee use money to keep being a Committee? Find out next time in: TEKKEN COMMITTEE: Fan-Service, or, How the Committee Got Some Money!