Kaz: *coughverycrappytitlecough!*
Chris: So sue me! Any way I'm telling the story now and what I say goes understand?
Kaz: Sure as long as I don't get hurt or anything!

Our story starts in the Mishima and Kazama household at 7:00am in the morning…

Kaz: JIN WAKE UP!
Jin: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Jun: Lower your voice please you don't want to upset the neighbours.
Kaz: Yes I do, JIN WAKE UP YOU EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!
Jun: Kazuya Mishima!
Kaz: (nervous) He-he!
Jin: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kaz: (Grabs Jin's yearbook and smashes it on Jin's head.)
Jin: BAH!
Jun: Was that necessary?
Kaz: The boy needs discipline!
Jun: I discipline him enough!
Jin: Mom, I don't wanna go to school.
Jun: ^_^ ok.
Kaz: -_- I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT YOU'RE GOING TO SCHOOL NOW GET DRESSED AND GET OUT MY HOUSE YOU FOOL!
Jin: I'm not a fool Mr. Ithinkpandasarebears!
Jun: Apologise to you're father Jin!
Jin: Sorry daddy. But he broke my award book!
Jun: (evil glare at Kazuya.)
Kaz: Errrr Sorry Jin…
Jun: ^_^ (walks into garden)
Kaz: …Jin Kazpoofy!
Jin: -_-

Later at 8:30am…

Jin: Bye mom!
Jun: Bye!
Kaz: AHEM!
Jin: Bye Kuma!
Kuma: Bye!
Kaz: Are you forgetting anybody?
Jin: Oh yeah! Bye illegal immigrants in my basement!
I.I.I.M.B: Bye, bye Jinnykins!
Jin: (Blushes)
Kaz: AHEM!
Jin: Bye Devil!
Devil: (Coming out of Kazuya's body) Bye!
Jin: I think that's everybody!
Devil-Kaz: UM YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN ME BASTARD!
Jin: I didn't forget you…
Devil-Kaz: YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT!
Jin: O_O (Runs out of house at top speed.)
Kaz: Ha! Ha!
Jun: >:(
Kaz: He-he!
Jun: Shouldn't you be at work!
Kaz: Oh. (Gets into his Dodge Viper and drives off.)
Jun: (Sighs) Oh those boys of mine.
Kuma: coughiveneverheardanythingsocheesycough
Jun: >:( Go away! Heihachi needs company!
Kuma: Ok. (Rolls away.)

At the Mishima High School…

Teacher: Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah…
Akira: This sucks that fat guy you call Ganryu's ass eh?
Jin: Yeah.
Akira: Yo Jin, why is your yearbook broken?
Jin: Dad trouble.
Akira: What goes on in that family of yours?
Jin: Don't know? Every day was fine until today! It's as if a supernatural force is making this happen!
Akira: ?
Jin: I had some dream before I was woken by a yearbook being smashed on my head.
Akira: What happened in the dream?
Jin: Well…

Flashback into the dream…

Hooded man: Fate has chosen yet again a family to experience a wired period of time, this family shall be…
Jin: Huh where am I?
Sonic: Don't kn' mate but if y' see Bob Wibbleson call me.
Jin: (confused) Ok…
Hooded man: Oh hello Jin I was just about to announce the family that would experience a wired period of time.
Jin: Really? Well who is it?
Distant voice: …EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!
Jin: Who was that?
Hooded man: Dunno, anyway the family shall be…
SMASH!

Back at the school…

Jin: …and that's where it ended.
Akira: Cool.
Jin: I think it was our family!
Akira: Well you are a jinx Jin.
Jin: -_-
Akira: But that's the rumours! And there's one saying that you're gay and that you had plastic surgery in Tekken 3 and Tekken tag.
Jin: I'm not and and plastic surgery?
Akira: You had no nipples.
Jin: SO?!
Teacher: AHEM!
Jin: (nervous) He-he!
Teacher: Anyway where was I oh yeah…Blah, blah…
Jin: See what you got me into?

At Kazuya's work place…

Kaz: (On the phone)…yes Jun is fine, Jin aint right and Lee is being ga-
(Lee walks in looking pissed.)
Kaz: Gotta go!
Lee: Hm! Anyway I have a fax for you it says ahem!:
HELP ME SON HELP ME!
Kaz: It's those neighbourhood kids Alex and the gang.
Lee: But the paper used was grade F 2 cents of 50 sheets! Only Heihachi uses that!
Kaz: (Signing sheets) Those neighbourhood kids are poor.
Lee: It has dad's personal signature!
Kaz: Ok, ok! But why should I help that dirty old man? After all those years of painful abuse! (Sobs on desk)
Lee: But if we get there in time we'll see Kazuya in pa-ain!
Kaz: (Smiling) Let's go! (Lee and Kazuya get in Lee's Honda and drive off.)
Lee: Hey why my car?
Kaz: Because I'm in a hurry and we might crash into a few things your car will be scratched, mine is way too precious!
Lee: -_-

Back at the school…

Teacher: …Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah and BLAH! That concludes our lesson.
(Bell rings)
Jin: I wonder if fate really has picked our family only on way to find out…
Akira: What?
Jin: Hey Mrs. Suckondick is it true that fate chooses families to experience wired periods of time?
Mrs. Suckondick: No way! Its just superstition!
Jin: Ok, thanks Mrs. Suckondick.
Akira: Maybe it's just coincidence!
Jin: Yeah maybe…
(Akira and Jin leave the room and the hooded man appears.)
Hooded man: Good acting.
Mrs. Suckondick: Now can I get paid?
Hooded man: Whatever. (Gives Mrs. Suckondick $20)

Meanwhile in a white trashed up Honda…

Lee: Oh boy this will cost dearly!
Kaz: I'll pay for it!
CRASH!
(The titanium left door flies off.)
Lee: (bottom lip trembling.)
Kaz: Act strait! (Catches the titanium left door and reserves it as a weapon)
Paul: (riding on his motorcycle next to Lee's 1-door Honda) Wow! ROAD HOG!
Kaz: Shut up!
Paul: No this is cool! Look at the car!
Kaz: (teeth gritted) SHUT UP!
Paul: Where you going?
Lee: (Smoking a cigarette.)  Heihachi is being attacked and were going to his mansion to see him being attacked and we'll pay the culprit $1000.
Paul: Can I come?
Kaz: No.
Paul: Please?
Kaz: No!
Paul: Please?
Kaz: NO! (Grabs the re-enforced titanium car door that snapped off and throws it at Paul.)
Paul: WAAAAA (Falls off motor bike and lorry falls on him.)
Lee: That was a tad cruel.
Kaz: (Grabs Lee's packet of cigarettes and throws them away.)
Lee: (Cries)

In Heihachi's mansion…

Kuma: Somebody help us!
Hei: (Bleeding) I hope Kazuya got my fax!
Culprit: I thought I killed you! (Attacks Heihachi in their special way.)
Hei: AAAAAAAAAAA!
Kuma: HHHHHEEEEEEIIIIIIIIII!

In Kazuya's house…

Nina: …and then a shot the guy!
Michelle: Did you have to kill him?
Jun: Nina, there is a therapy that eases peoples urges to kill.
Nina: I don't need no f****ing therapy!
Jun: Don't deny it, I took it you know!
Michelle: You were once an angry-kill-obsessed-assassin?
Nina: (Pointing rifle at Michelle's head.) Oi watch it!
Jun: I wasn't an assassin but I wanted to kill everybody when they thought I was related to Unknown.
Unknown: (Walking into house) I heard my name!
Jun: I was telling Nina to try the kill obsessed therapy class.
Unknown: Oh. Anyway why does Kazuya drive people's cars at top speed in motorways and crash into things?
Jun: What do you mean? (Switches on TV)
Unknown: (Sweat drop at back of head) I think you're about to find out!
News reporter: Mad Crazed out driver on the loose! He's crashing into things and using car parts as weapons! Paul Phoenix Victim of the Mad Driver says this:
Paul: (Fake crying and bandages on his body) I was (sniff!) riding on my motorbike normally and (sniff) and (sniff!) I saw him driving in his rich far better off brother's expensive car (sniff!) and I asked…

Fake flashback…

Paul: (with bright red cheeks) Howdy old pal! Why are you driving so fast you could hurt the neighbourhood kids!
Kaz: (All crazy) Some poor guy is in so much pain and were going down to laugh at him aren't we hostage-I mean brother?!
Lee: (Crying) Help Paul!!
Paul: Stop Kazuya! This is wrong!
Kaz: Shut up! (Picks up a 2 tonne anvil and throws it at Paul.)
Paul: This is WRRRRRROOOOOONNNNGGGGGGG!

In the...err I wouldn't call it a car…

Lee: (Looking at his portable TV) Please! I don't cry like that!
Kaz: THAT LIAR!
CRASH!
Kaz: There goes the gearbox!
Lee: O_o
Kaz: We're nearly there!
CRASH!
Kaz: There goes Heihachi's $200,000 silver gate.
Lee: ^_^
(Sparks fly out of the window)
Kaz: Cool!
Lee: Let's go!
(Lee and Kazuya run into the mansion.)
Kaz: Hey culprit, come here I'm gonna pay you $1000 for attacking Heihachi!
(A spark flies at Kazuya and Lee.)
Kaz+Lee: Oof!
Devil-Kaz: Oh culprit where are you? I'M PRETTEY PISSED ABOUT YOU ABUSING ME!
(Lee and Kazuya run into the room that Heihachi is in)
Kaz: Where is he? I'm gonna WGF his ass!
Hei: (Dieing) Who? The guy who did all this to me?
Kaz: Yup.
Hei: He's gone!
Kuma: (Shocked) Uh-uh-uh-
Kaz: Who was it? What did he look like?
Kuma: He was ye-ye-ye (cries)
Kaz: Oi fartbag do you know?
Hei: He was short and- (loses consciousness)
Kaz: Oh well. (Starts to walk away)
Lee: Hey we need to help him!
Kaz: (Uses Kuma's Iron dummy of Paul to whack Lee.)
Lee: Ow!
Kuma: Help him!
Kaz: Ok I'll send him to hospital.
Lee+Kuma: Yay!
Kaz: Since I'm scratching your back…
Lee: No you're not.
Kaz: (Grabs a rhino's head from a plaque and hits Lee with it.)
Lee: O_O
Kaz: Sorry Kuma excuse my dumb friend, he spent a lot of his years on the streets anyway I'm scratching your back so you gotta scratch mine. (Conman like music with those guitars comes and the picture is black and white)
Lee: (In a conman voice.) So big K what has we gots ta do?
Kuma: (Also in a conman voice) Yeh big K what?
Kaz: (In a conman voice.) Oks this is what I see, Gay L…
Lee: -_-
Kaz: Give up on the cigarettes for a week and Predator…
Kuma: Yup…
(Conman music stops and the picture is now in colour.)
Kaz: Attack Paul on a 10-hour a daily basis for that false report ok?
Kuma: My pleasure boss! ^_^

So an ambulance comes picks up Heihachi's broken body, Lee and Kazuya get on Kuma's back and ride home.

At a Korean hideout…

Hwo: …so I kicked the guy's ass!
Big D: Man Hwoarange-Hwon-Bob Wibbleson how do you do it eh?
Hwo: Well I (grabs some weed) just say to myself…(Trips out.) WEEEEEEEE!
Big D: Yo Hwo you ok?
Hwoar: …yeah Pink Elephant It pisses me off but what can a guy do eh?
Big D: He sees Pink Elephants?
Pink Elephant: Got a problem?! (Slams Big D with his trunk)
Hwo: Ha! Ha!
Big D: (Rubbing his head.) Erm ok! (Runs off)

Back in the High School…

Ling: So I said like totally, and he was like yeah and I'm like…
Jin: Ling I need to speak to you.
Ling: Hang on and anyway I'm like…
Jin: NOW!
Ling: DMY!
Jin: ?
Ling: Don't Mess Yourself.
Jin: Oh…HEY!
Ling: Ok, ok I'll come.

In a corner in the playground…

Ling: Are you going t sexually harass me?
Jin: -_- I need some advice…I had a dream about some guy in a hood talking about fate choosing a family to experience a wired period of time and I think fate chose ours the hooded man was about to announce the family but the dream ended thanks to my dad and weird things are happening.
Ling: Yeah like I know weird things are totally happening, I know your dad hates Paul but he went too far.
Jin: ?
Ling: Didn't you hear? You're daddy was like driving in that dreamboat Lee's (swoons) car and then Paul was asking what he was doing and you're dad used an anvil to crush Paul-while he was like on his bikey!
Jin: Uh? WHY CRUEL FATE? WHY?
Ling: Yeah so like that's like my advice see ya!
Jin: Now I definitely know that fate has chosen us! Man I'm never gonna look up to dad again.

At Kazuya's House…

Jun: (Crying) Oh Kazuya why?
Michelle: I think you should leave him take the money and go!
Nina: Here. (Gives Jun hand-taser) You'll need it.
Jun: No Nina but thank you. I'll deal with him.
(Kuma crashes into the house.)
Kaz: Whoo! Bear rides are fun!
Lee: You said it!
Jun: (Evil glare at Kazuya.)
Kaz: (Nervously) What?
Jun: You know what!
Kaz: ?
Lee: I think she means the news report.
Kaz: Oh.
Jun: (Even eviler glare.)
Kaz: I can explain you see…
Jun: Save it! I'm signing up for a divorce!
Kaz: NOOOOOOO!
Jun: Only joking. ^_^ But Why Kazu, Why?
Kaz: I can explain…
Jun: Save it to court!
Kaz: Sure! I have a witness!
Lee: This will be easy.
Unknown: Make that 2 witnesses!
Kaz: ^_^

In court…

Kaz: Lee, how much did you charge if Paul lost?
Lee: Billion.
Kaz: ^_^
Paul: You won't win! I have all these witnesses!
(The witnesses are a bunch of old people.)
Old Man McAlsckey: When will I get my free fridge? What kinda sale is this?
Judge: (Has back turned) It aint a sale old man.
Old Man McAlsckey: Oh. Billy you lied!
Paul: He-he!
Old People: We're going!
Jin: (Part of the jury) Dad will win.
Julia: (Also part of the Jury) I hope Kazuya goes down!
Jin: Why?
Julia: Because he kidnapped my grandmother!
Jin: He did?
Julia: Yup.
Jin: Oh. Kazuya is going down!
Julia: Oh you…(Makes out with Jin.)
Bruce: (Also part of the jury) GET A ROOM!
Kaz: Bruce what you doing here?
Bruce: I'm here to back you up; I'm your bodyguard after all!
Kaz: Hey Bruce, (Whispering in Bruce's ear) I'll pay you double I you be my witness and…
Bruce: Deal!
(The judge turns around and reveals himself to be none other than Tekkenicus)
Kaz: ^_^
Paul: WA?
Kaz: (Smug) I think we know who's gonna win this case!
Paul: Not fair, NOT FAIR!
Tekk: ORDER!
Paul: Yes sir.
Tekk: (Not bothered) Now can you guys tell me what happened so we can get this over with.
Anna: That's dirty! (Giggles)
Tekk: (Pissed) You got a problem with what I say?!
Anna: (Still giggling)
Tekk: (Picks up a concrete block and tosses it at Anna)
Anna: ;_;
Tekk: Come on let's do this already! (Looks at Anna like the Candy man about to commit another murder)
Anna: -_-
Tekk: Paul you first!
Paul: Well…

An even faker flashback…

Paul: (With bright red cheeks, happy eyes and riding on a kid's bike.) Hello Kazuya my superior buddy what you doing? ^_^
Kaz: (All crazy and knocking old people over) The neighbourhood kids are being homosexually harassed and Lee wants to join in and this is a great chance for me to kill people!
Paul: Now that's not right!
Lee: (Smoking 10 cigarettes at a time) Yes it is!!!
Paul: This looks like a job for…Super Paul! Stop evildoers!
Kaz: Oh no its super Paul!

Back in the real world…

Kaz: Hardly!
Tekk: When will are you abused Paul?! Because since you're in your super state it seems as if you're gonna abuse them faggot!

Back to the flashback…

Super Paul: Give up and I won't get violent!
Kaz: Never! (Uses a ray gun to zap Super Paul)
Super Paul: NOOOOOOOOOOOO (Explodes.)
Neighbourhood Kids: Don't worry Super Paul you'll be ok.

THE END

Back to the real world…

Tekk: And I'm supposed to believe that?
Paul: Yup.
Tekk: First of all, I don't believe you can turn into Super Paul…
Paul: I can!
Tekk: (Very angry) PROVE IT YOU DIRTY BASTARD!
Jun: Good lord!
Paul: I'm outta power!
Tekk: -_- And, Kazuya does not use ray guns he uses shotguns!
Paul: Well-I…
Tekk: Lee doesn't smoke that many cigarettes Hwoarang does!
Hwo: I do?
Tekk: And finally if the neighbourhood kids were being homosexually harassed, why were they next to you when to were defeated? Or maybe you were homosexually abusing the neighbourhood kids?!
Paul: Err…
Tekk: Kazuya I see you have 3 witnesses.
Kaz: Yeh.
Tekk: Ok Kazuya you first!
Kaz: Please let my witnesses tell you after all I could be lying!
Tekk: Ok, Bruce you first.
Bruce: Well…

A bit of a fake flashback…

Bruce: (In office building) Oooo! What is Paul doing whacking Lee's car outta shape with a crowbar?
Paul: Take that and that!
SMASH! SMASH!
Lee: My car!
Kaz: Don't worry brother; I will save your car! (Gets up and WGFs Paul away)
Lee: Thanks bro!

Back to reality…

Tekk: Fair enough. Unknown you next!
Wang: Unknown. (Dribbles)
Unknown: Ok. Anyway…

A bit of a fake flash back…

Paul: Take that Lee's expensive car!
SMASH! SMASH!
Lee: You have any idea how much that will cost me?
Paul: I have no money and I'm doing just fine!
Kaz: -_-
Lee: Aw man!
Kaz: Stop this madness! (WGFs Paul)
Lee: Thanks bro.

Back to reality…

Tekk: Kazuya you're on a roll! Ok Lee you're last spill the beans!
Lee: Ok. (Spills a bowl of baked beans)
Tekk+Kaz: Smash Lee with a turtle's shell.
Lee: Ow!
Kaz: He means tell the story god dammit!
Lee: Oh. Well…

Another flashback…

Lee: This road trip is cool!
Kaz: Yeah!
(Suddenly Paul comes on his motorbike holding a crowbar.)
Paul: I'm gonna wreck your expensive Honda for a laugh! Take that and that!
SMASH! SMASH!
Lee: My car! Paul stop it!
Kaz: Yo bro don't worry I'll take care of him.
Lee: ^_^
Kaz: (WGFs Paul)

Back to reality…

Tekk: Ok.
Paul: (Sweats heavily)
Tekk: Hey Paul, Knock-knock…
Paul: Who's there?
Tekk: You lose!
Kaz+Lee+Bruce+Unknown: YES!
Paul+Michelle+Julia+Jin: No!
Kaz: Why?
Michelle: You kidnapped my mum!
Kaz: Oh, but why Jin?
Jin: If I'm to marry Julia, I've gotta support her family!
Kaz: That boy aint right.
Jin: -_-

The Really Loser Bad Guys Hideaway 10:45pm…

Robotic voice:  PASSWORD?
Culprit: Tekken Sucks.
(The culprit enters the building)
Neo Cortex: Oh Master, you have returned!
Dingodile: You took long enough mate!
Razorbeard: Arr! Did ye destroy the olde man?
Culprit: I beat him up but then the Gaylord and the 2-faced one came.
(The culprit takes off his mask and turns out to be…)
Pikachu: Now, I have a plan! We…
(Fades out)

Kazuya's House 11:00pm…

Jun: Jin! It's past your bedtime!
Jin: But I'm 19 god dammit!
Jun: Don't use that kind of language near me young man!
Jin: Young? I…oh never mind I'm going to bed.
(Door slams.)
Kuma: zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kaz: I'm sleepy to! (Drops onto the floor.)
Jun: ^_^ Goodnight! (Kisses Kazuya on cheek)
(Jun walks over to hers and Kazuya's room)
Jun: I'm sleepy aswell… O_O AAAAAAAAAAAA!

5:00am Kazuya's house…

Kaz: *Yawn* Jun! Can you make me coffee?
(Silence)
Kaz: Jun?
(Silence)
Kaz: ? (Walks into front room and in the middle of the room is a brick with paper attached to it and some broken glass) Those neighbourhood kids have gone way too far this time!
(Kazuya picks up the brick and picks up the paper)
Kaz: Hmmmm…

The letter says:
Dear mistar tOO faseD 1,
                                               Wee haff kid nap YoR waif and IF yOU want HeR bak U haff to give uss a miiliyon doLLAS bring The miiliyon doLLAS to tha Looser bad GUIS hedKWartars ok?
Fram the Guy who BeET up yoR grandpa,
PIKACHU
Kaz: Pikachu? I aint giving him no $1,000,000! I need help…

Lee's office, 5:01 am…

(Phone rings.)
Lee: Hello?
Kaz: (Scared) Guess who the guy who attacked dad was?
Lee: (Poetic) Whom?
Kaz: -_- Paikchu and he has kidnapped Jun!
Lee: Ok what should I do?
Kaz: Call everybody who fought in Tekken I need help god dammit!
Lee: Do it yourself!
Kaz: What?!
Lee: (Scared) Don't worry I'll do it!
Kaz: ^_^

Later in Kazuya's massive room with all the Tekken characters sitting on chairs…

Kaz: Hello, now you must be wondering why I've called you here.
Jin+Lei: Where is Jun?
Kaz: I was getting to that!
Lei: Get to it now!
Kaz: That's what I was about to do!
Lei: But you're not!
Devil-Kaz: NOW I AM YOU FOOL!
Lei: -_- ok.
Kaz: Now Jun HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!
Jin: NOOOOOO!
Paul: Big wow!
Alexander: That it?
Jin: What's Alex doing here?
Alexander: I came to hear the good news!
Armour King (A.K): Good news? Y' a prick mate!
Alexander: Shut up! The good news is, Jun is kidnapped the bad news is you're gonna find her.
Kaz: Jun has done wonders to our lives!
Everyone: YEAH!
Alexander: Lei, what has she done for you?
Lei: Well there was that thing with the doing and the stuff and-
Alexander: Translation: nothing.
Lei: -_-
Alexander: Jin what has she done for you apart from creating you?
Jin: She…
Alexander: Sends you to bed the same time as me on a school day? Even on holidays? I'm 11 so you're sent to bed at the same time as me on a school day!
Kaz: True, but she married me and…
Alexander: I'm sure you would of preferred Nina eh? Both of you like purple, both of you hate Paul, both of you like guns and you enjoyed that so called 'drunken' night in the club!
Nina: Who told you?! (Gets out sniper rifle and aims it at Alexander's head.)
Kaz: Err, that must have been Kazu and Nani!
Nina: Oh yeah err Kazu and Nani!
Alexander: Baek, remember that dodge ball incident at school with Jun?
Baek: (Murderous look on face.)
Alexander: So think about it, with Jun gone Kazuya can marry Nina and have a very happy and evil time together, with his new mom Jin can stay up late and Paul will experience double hell form Nina and Kazuya! So finding Jun could be the worst mistake you've ever made! (Walks out of room.)
Kaz: All in favour of not rescuing Jun say AIE!
Everyone except Michelle: AIE!
Kaz: Ok, we'll leave Jun to die.
Michelle: NO! I mean sure Jun is pretty useless and the evil glare creeps us all out we still gotta save her! Say if Bryan was kidnapped he's pretty useless say AIE if you'd attempt to save him.
Everyone: AIE!
Michelle: Exactly so don't listen to Alex and let him influence you follow your heart so what do ya say we rescue Jun?
Everyone: Ok.
Kaz: Not all of you can come to the big rescue though! We need to pick an elite force of people!
Jin: Wow! Dad is using wise words!
Kaz: -_- Anyway the team is:
Nina- For her huge knowledge on guns
Bruce- He's huge and is a member of the mafia
Jin- My son
Hwoarang- Good kicks
Bryan- Can't die
Gon- Gon with the wind
Gun Jack- A robot
Yoshimitsu- Teleportation and ninja stuff
Unknown- She's cool
Armour King- Very tall and dangerous