Prologue

Well, I am trying again... to write that is. The idea struck mid 3am, like all good things do in my life so I started... tell me what you think...
"Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses." -Voltaire

Duo paced outside the door to the room which in one of his fellow pilots was bleeding to death... well was until a... he looked over at the clock on the blinding white wall... three hours ago. For three hours he had been pacing, inside Sally and Quatre's sister worked hard to keep the pilot alive... Trowa was out pulling Shenlong from where it had crashed into the ocean when Wufei had tried to loose Oz specialists... and Wufei lost them... and nearly look his own life in the process. Duo flipped around, braid whipping and looked at the clock again... Heero was... doing whatever Heero did after a mission, Duo rankly didn't care at the moment. And Quatre was still giving him this worried look...
"Duo." Quatre's soft wisp of a voice startled Duo and he whirled around and stopped his pacing to look at the blonde solider.
"Yes?" asked the American, feigning a smile just to hopefully distill any of Quatre's worried questions... it was him who pulled Wufei from the wreckage... they were damn lucky the mansion was close enough to where Wufei collided with the ocean to get him immediate medical attention, and it was still far enough away to dispel the worry of OZ coming close enough to this hideout...
"Are you alright Duo?" Quatre's voice slipped through the chaos whirling in Duo's busy mind.
"Am I alright?!?" Duo's mind hissed, "hell no!! I pulled a pilot from a broken Gundam, bleeding and broken!! Wufei was barely breathing you moron!!" in stead Duo opted to say in a more calm tone, "I'll be fine as soon as-"
"We know he is. Yes I feel the same... " Quatre interrupted him.
Duo looked at the stainless white door between the pure white hall and where Wufei was and whispered somberly, "What in the hell was he thinking pulling a stunt like that?! He could have died... doesn't he care is he dies... " his voice trailed off and he jerked as Quatre placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Wufei is very strong, I doubt anything will happen... he'll be fine... " Quatre whispered with a smile.
Duo looked ahead but his eyes revealed he was miles away... Quatre sighed and gave Duo's shoulder one last squeeze and headed back towards his seat. He didn't know how Duo could have paced for the last three hours... then again... seeing Wufei that banged up... all the blood... his radiant white clothes shredded and stained with blood... his hair obviously jerked from his tight ponytail and winged in front of his eyes... his eyes... those Quatre remembered very well. Opened. He swore Wufei was dead... his chest barely raised... his eyes, usually so closed were wrenched open in shock and had this haunted dead look in them. Like a man that had seen death too many times... so empty... so hauntingly empty. Quatre shivered and took his seat again...
"Did you know he had a picture taped on a corner of the view screen? Left bottom corner. A girl. Looked like him... " Duo interrupted Quatre's thoughts.
Quatre looked up slowly and muttered, "Sister? Friend?"
Duo shrugged and pulled it out of his pocket. "I took it for him. The cabin was half way filled with water when I pulled him out of the wires that were strangling him... thought he wouldn't want it ruined... "
Quatre again stood and walked over and peered at the photo. It was a bit jagged at the edges and faded a bit with time... black and white. A girl of thirteen or so, hair in pigtails and floppy bangs smiling and giving the victory sign, one arm hooked with Wufei's.
"He's smiling." Duo remarked not even moving his eyes from the door. "He has a real goddamn smile."
Quatre blinked and looked closer. There he was. Wufei... it was odd.
Wufei in cargo shorts and a white T-shirt, hair down and smiling so openly. The girl in jean shorts and a tang-top. They seemed very happy. It was just odd looking at this... it was like peeking behind the curtain Wufei never revealed on this past life. Even Trowa and the perfect soldier broke occasionally. Trowa screaming from nightmares from his youth... Heero shouting in his sleep about his obviously less than normal training... but Wufei... never a word was uttered... Silent, barren... they didn't know a thing about him. The mask never broke. He barely stayed with them. Less the mission demanded it, even then he separated himself, purposely. "It seems like a secret we're holding... " Quatre whispered.
"He was normal... " Duo whispered and finally broke his gaze down to the photo... it was a rare photo indeed. Wufei smiling... in normal clothes... he looked happy. Truly happy. "It is strange... we don't know a thing about him... nothing. He comes from L5. He pilots Shenlong, whim he calls Nataku. He's Chinese. That's it."
Quatre blinked, "We know more than that... "
After a few moments Duo smiled slightly, "Small things... I've noticed he drinks only green tea. Once in the morning and once at night. Did you know he has a tattoo on his back?"
Quatre looked at Duo in surprise and curiosity, "no... I didn't... how do you know?"
Duo got that gazed look in his eye. "He practices his katanas... his sword thing... whatever it is called at night and after a while, if it is a hot night... he takes off his shirt."
"Naturally... " Quatre remarked, then let Duo continue.
"He practices these absolutely smooth slow movements... it's like a dance... not like waltzing but smoother... more graceful... "
"Like a ballet?" Quatre remarked listening intently to his friend.
"Yes. Like a ballet. Smooth graceful movements like a choreographed ballet. He let's his hair fall as it slips from his ponytail... in his back... two wings... not daemon wings... dragon wings... they seem to move with his muscles, almost giving the impression like they will unfold and he will be gently glided into the sky... "
Sally opened the door breaking the moment and looking at the boys lost in a worried thought. She cleared her throat and stepped into the hall closing the door to Wufei's room.
Duo blinked and looked at her and pulled himself back into the real world once more... leaving his thoughts for another moment, "How is he?"
Quatre looked at her, "Is he alright?"
Sally smiled a weary smiled, "we're lucky you guys got him here so quickly... he was bleeding badly... and by some miracle, nothing was broken. Unfortunately he hit his head more than once in the impact, and... well... "
Duo moved closer and blinked, "What?!"
Sally looked up, "he lost consciousness for a while... there maybe some memory loss... if we are lucky."
Quatre looked at her, "are you saying that Wufei may have lost all knowledge of us and piloting?" his eyes darkened and he suddenly was very very worried. They couldn't afford to loose a pilot as good as Wufei... "What are the chances he'll be fine?" Duo asked, worry rising quickly.
The door opened again and Quatre's sister stepped out. "you can ask him if you want... he's regained consciousness. But ask things slowly and softly... he is still dazed... "
Duo pushed past her and Sally dragging Quatre into the room. "Wufei is gonna be fine... he's Wufei!! Nothing can hurt him... please God... let him be alright... "
End part prologue...
Part One

well, here is part one of who knows how many... I plan on taking my time letting the plot develop slowly... so please bear with me... and yes it will become a 2&5 fic... soon. I promise... I am trying for a bit of a plot... though most probably left the fic already... well with out further ado...

In my Memory... By: Kc-chan

"The world breaks around everyone, and afterwards many are strong at the broken places." -Hemingway

Part One.

"You can ask him if you want... he's regained consciousness. But ask things slowly and softly... he is still dazed... " were the words that passed into his mind as he hauled Quatre into Wufei's room.
Wufei was sitting up, his usually stoic look replaced by one of curiosity and confusion. Like a child opening his eyes for the first time. As they came through the door he turned slightly and looked at them. Sally had given him a pair of plain jeans to wear. Black hair swept down and around his shoulders, black eyes had a hidden shine, and copper toned flesh seemed paler than normal... but he looked fine.
Sally entered behind the boys, "Wufei still has some bruises and scraps but appears thus far, fine." She walked past the stopped boys, who were struck in confusion. "You feel alright?"
Wufei blinked and slowly nodded.
Duo ran over, braid bouncing, "Man you had better be okay after I pulled your ass from that scrap! You know who I am right?"
Wufei smiled a little. He was surprised that nothing seemed wrong... he was still a little dazed from the medicine and the after shock of the landing, but he was damn lucky nothing seemed wrong. He felt a little guilty for making them worry, especially Quatre and Duo. But he was also relived he hadn't scared them away and still had friends... he tried to smile a little harder, it felt rather odd to let himself be open so much, but it seemed to relieve both Maxwell and Quatre, so there was no harm in that.
Duo smiled at Quatre, "see? Nothing can stop our Wufei! Right?" he turned for an answer and was meeted by a small smile on Wufei's face.
Wufei grinned and replied, "... ... .." nothing came out. Panic seeped into those ebony eyes. Sally was immediately next to him. Quatre's sister ushered the boys out quickly, told them to wait in the hall, and closed the door again.
Quatre stood wide eyed and slowly turned to Duo, "he said something right?" his voice full of worry.
Duo stood in shock. The stoic pilot's voice... "nothing came out... he moved his lips and nothing came out... "
Trowa walked in and looked at the two of them huddled right outside what he assumed was Wufei's door standing in complete shock. He silently walked over and quietly nudged his lover, "Quatre?" a soft voice asked. The blonde was shaking with worry and shock. He turned to the American pilot, "Duo? What happened?" he hoped nothing serious like Wufei dying...
Duo turned to the new voice to find Trowa standing there. Duo opened his month a few times and finally replied, "Wu is fine... except... his voice... I mean he was talking but nothing came out... "
Trowa let the shock show a little as one eye widened a bit. He guided Quatre over to the chairs and sat down with Quatre sitting between his legs, his arms hugging the pilot in support. And looked at the door.
Moments passed in silence and Sally came out. Duo's eyes slowly meet hers. She sighed, "there's nothing seriously wrong with him, other than he can't speak... and we don't think any vocal chords severed or permanent damage was done, but... "
Duo stood in shock, "but what... ?"
Sally leaned against the wall, placing her hands on her forehead and rubbed her temples, "The only thing we can figure is that the shock and the impact to his head caused the shock to make him, or actually his mind forget how to speak. It is rare, but it does happen. Soldiers in other wars have had these problems, sight loss when their eyes work fine. Some go deaf, when nothing is physically wrong with them. Wufei has seemed to have lost his voice... probably hitting the wrong area of his brain, the shock, and God knows what else... "
Quatre shifted and leaned back on Trowa, "So... it isn't permanent... ?"
Sally shifted on the wall, "We don't know. Your sister is explaining what I did to you all to him, and he seems to be alright... it could be a day of loss, possibly a week... maybe longer... " she silently added, "or permanent." She didn't need to upset the boys more... Quatre looked near tears as Trowa helped him back to the main part of the house. Only Duo remained... standing in shock... shaking in fear. "Duo?"
He snapped out of it and gave her a phantom smile, "Yes, Dr. Sally Po?"
Sally sighed and met his eyes, "It may be permanent, please realize this. This is going to be very hard on all of you. Wufei make act like he is handling it, but God only knows if he really is. This isn't something one can be accustomed to quickly."
Duo looked at her, "But you said it may only last a week!"
Sally looked at the ceiling, "it may, but odds are it won't. It may be years or more likely Wufei won't talk. He can't help it. Subconsciously something won't let him. He may want to... but something won't let him. You are going to have to keep him from doing any harm to himself. I don't think he would, but he isn't the friendliest in the group. I have a few more tests to run... go inform Trowa and Heero of our talk... thanks Duo." And with one last attempted smile she went back into the room and left Duo slowly walking towards the living room to talk with the guys...

Part Two
::blushes:: thanks for the compliments... sorry, again this part is short... I am trying to dig through and find a plot direction I want... I need a muse... any who one not is when Wu-kun speaks it is <<like this cause remember he can't talk>> got it? it's like what he is essentially mouthing.

In my Memory- By: Kc-chan

There is no room in my body for anything but you. My arms love you, my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs you to ask it something so it can obey." -Buttercup from The Princess Bride by William Goldman

Part 2 of who knows...

Sally and Quatre's sister finally left him alone... in the medical ward, in that room with all those medical instruments gleaming in the moonlight. Coming from an extremely traditional colony labs gave him chills still, but medical wards and hospitals scared him. It was unnatural. He swallowed and brushed a few stray hairs behind his ears. He silently slipped out of the bed and walked to the window. The sky was clear and he opened the blinds and pulled them up. He wanted to see the sky. It was a beautiful night... crystal stars glittering in an expanse of blank ink smothered within a dusty trail of the Milky Way.
He pulled up a bench to the window and leaned his head against the cool glass. "How could I have been so stupid!" he lamented, the images of some of the crash etched in his mind. Many spots of blackness, but a few moments were clear right before the impact... he winced, "What was I thinking... yeah. 'Get away and deter them from the others.' I didn't want the others hurt." He closed his eyes and sighed. Well he was certainly paying the price, wasn't he? He knew he should have died today, but what trick were the gods playing on him to torture him... no voice. He had tried a few times for Sally, but nothing. He even tried after they left. It was nothing coming out. It wouldn't be so bad, if- if he could express himself. But he had never until today let his mask fall for the others. He never smiled, he never showed emotion, and now that was all he could do. He couldn't carry a piece of paper writing words all the time, and the Gundams had ways to communicate through a view screen, but he would have to show facial expression... he would have to let his mask down... he couldn't run from them and he would have to let the others get closer to him...
In a rush he felt claustrophobic and shakily stood up and pushed the chair back and struggled to open the window. He needed air. His face showed his silent grunt, struggling with the lock. He couldn't stand it! It was like he was trapped!!
Duo walked down the hall deciding to check on the Chinese pilot, less something went through his mind and he ended up hurting himself. He opened the door silently as not to wake the stoic pilot and was surprised to see Wufei struggling to open the windows and tears rolling down his copper cheeks. Thinking the worst he sprinted towards Wufei and threw his arms around the pilot.
Wufei staggered in shock, clearly etched in his fine features. Tight arms were wrapped around his arms keeping them from moving and clenched around his waist. "What do you think you are doing!?" Maxwell's voice wrung in his ear he tried to scream, "I need to open the window!! I wasn't doing anything wrong!!" but again he forgot and it was him moving a month and no sound.
Duo didn't care, yanked him back, and tightened his grip and then when far enough from the window flung the Chinese pilot onto the bed and straddled his lap. "What the hell were you doing!?! Killing yourself isn't the answer!! We are still your friends even if you don't want us! And don't ever think you can jump-"
Wufei blushed at how Duo was holding him down and then realizes what Duo was saying and tried shouting "Maxwell!" but to no avail. He tapped Duo's shoulder and shook his head no.
Duo stopped and looked at the other pilot, "No use making excuses!! There isn't any logical reason for trying to jump!"
Wufei was internally cursing and mouthed, "I was trying to open the damn window for some air!!"
Duo blinked and said, "What?"
Wufei let his face pout. Duo blinked again, the Chinese pilot was actually quite amusing in his facial expressions when his guard was down... Wufei sighed and pushed Duo off his lap and onto the floor.
Duo hit it with a whack, "What was that for man?"
Wufei made a hold on a minute motion with his hand and rummaged for apiece of paper and a pen... after searching for a few moments, his labor paid off and he scribbled, "Baka! I was opening it for air!" and shoved the piece of paper in front of Duo's face.
Duo took it and read it aloud, " Baka! I was opening it for air!"... he smiled, "Oi! You could have said that!" then nearly bit his tongue off but luckily Wufei was just glowering at his own stupidity. "sorry Wu... I assumed the worst... "
Wufei shrugged, <<that's okay.>>
Duo smiled, "this is going to get used to! Hey. I know, let's go get you some air." And with that he grabbed Wufei's hand and yanked him towards the outdoors... .
Finally getting outside duo smiled at Wufei, "are you sure you won't jump out of the window?"
Wufei gave him a look, <<are you kidding... .? That would be an un-noble way to die.>>
Duo shrugged and smiled, "You know... this is not going to be that bad, you know... "
Wufei quirked an eyebrow... <<not bad?>>
Duo smirked and flung an arm around Wufei's shoulder, "Yeah... this means you actually interact with us!" and with a maniacal laugh yanked Wufei towards the gardens for some fresh air...
Yeah... short... more comin... if anyone has a plot hitch they wanna see, let me know... I need a little help, I need a noose, a direction, then again don't we all...

Part Three

Yatta!! got more done!! thanks to all the wonderful compliments. ::blushes:: so here it is... a little bit o shonen-ai, hopefully someday i'll get more and then work to a lime ^_^ wouldn't that be nice... and posting, well whomever wants to, please do! so without further ado...

In my memory... By Kc-chan

'Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light, I have loved the stars too fondly To be fearful of the night... .' Sarah Williams, 'The Old Astronomer to His Pupil'

Part 3:

They sat in the moonlight, side by side... Wufei with no emotion and Duo staring into the clear moonlit sky. Stars glistened, and a warm tickling summer breeze whistled through the courtyard they sat in. Weeping willows gleamed silver and the fountain gurgled its water fresh from the ground. Shooting stars streaked hap-harzardly across the black sky speckled in a million glowing orbs.
"it really is breath taking. The sky is amazing, but I don't envy them at all. Space is my one true love, no matter how crappy your life is, there is always a clear sky. Always speckles of hope that gleam through. People on Earth forget that." Duo said softly letting the words slowly ease out. He turned and watched Wufei daydreaming into nowhere. As always.
Duo sighed and looked up at the expansive sky, "I wonder why, so often how Wufei can keep so little emotion. We all have had horrible things happen, but-" Duo stopped and wondered about the quiet and withdrawn Chinese pilot. "Can he deal with this? I mean one would think. We're talking about the guy who had to watch his own colony explode in front of him . . . nothing should get to him. . .but sometimes I wonder. If he masquerades about us, for God knows I know I have seen emotion in him. . ."
Fingers ran over his thighs and Duo pulled the photo from his pocket. . . "Well there is no use asking him about it, is there? His secrets are safe from me, for now. It doesn't feel odd, Wu never speaks, but when he does. . ." he placed the photo back in his pocket for a later time. Besides he wanted to be selfish for once. He liked wondering how the Chinese pilot came to be as such. He looked so open and content in the picture.
Wufei sat lost in his world. Drowning in eternal despair. "I have failed again haven't I Nataku? I will never avenge you, or the colony." He could feel the colony exploding around him again. The loss of civilian life that day had been too much. He could barely sleep anymore, and then when he did achieve slumber, it was eternal blood and destruction. The blame. He had to live with the pain.
Duo watched the pilot, "Hey, Wu?"
Slightly startled Wufei glanced over. Wide eyed at the American pilot. <<yes>>
Duo smiled, it would take getting used to, but if he could keep the Chinese pilot happy. . . "You ever had a girlfriend?" He was purposely asking yes or no questions. He didn't need the pilot falling into despair. Not while he was living. Besides there were too many secrets to find out. . . and explore with Wufei. Besides he could lip-read... but that did loose charm after a while...
Wufei blinked and pondered the purpose of the question. It seemed innocent but knowing Maxwell he was very uncertain, but no he technically hadn't... he shook his head no.
Duo smiled and looked up at the sky, "Beautiful, isn't it?"
Wufei smiled ever so slightly, leave it to Duo to try to cheer him up. This was what he was assuming friendship was. Wufei raised his eyes to look at the sky for the first time this evening. His eyes running over its beauty. He nodded slightly.
"When I was a kid, before training, there used to be this absolutely breathe taking view from my window at the Church. I used to sneak out of bed and watch the stars. You could always see Venus and the sun from my window. Did you know Venus can glow red and yellow? It was wonderful, but here on earth. . .you don't see it. None of the planets can be seen in their natural beauty. It is sad really." Duo finished.
Wufei studied the other pilot. Sadness. Their had been sadness in the other's eyes. Those eyes that could hold happiness, even during the war.
Duo figured this philosophy shit wasn't probably what Wu needed or even cared to hear. It didn't seem like an intellectual type. Him and Heero would probably get along well. Fighting and that other stuff. He never had many but what he did have and what the Church had were some old books. Classics from the old days. He loved reading, it took him away in those days. "Hey Wu?"
Wufei glanced over and nodded.
"You know what this night needs?"
Wufei thought a few seconds then shrugged, <<no what?>>
Duo was silent or so long Wufei returned to looking at the night sky when a distant tone in Duo's voice lulled him back to the bench. "I really do think that love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. But I also have to say, for the umpty-umpth time, that life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all." Duo finished. He was silent as he let the words sink. And then turned to Wufei and said, "I know. I know. You probably don't care but it is from a book I read many times as a child. 'The Princess Bride' by William Goldman. It is this great book. Probably never heard of it, huh?"
Wufei just sat looking at Duo. He never realized that Duo ever cared for literature. He would not have conceived that the loud and brash pilot would have cared for anything like that. He knew of the novel and had read it once. It was a rare moment. Meiren, whom he had been wed to at the time, and whom he thought never cared for anything scholarly as she named it, handed him a book from her private collection and dared him to read it. He had, finding it rather horrid, then after a while realized it had been translated, meaning his colony had translated it. He knew his colony rewrote works all the time and had one of the diplomats bring him a copy in English, curiosity killing him. He read though it a few times, finding himself quite enjoying the novel.
Satirical book, making fun of the ideals and fantasy of love, yet achieving love itself at the end. Meiren laughed at him reading an American novel, for being brought up on books could actually read and speak several languages. He smiled and asked her to sit and flipped to a page and whispered to her first in English, "There is a shortage of very perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours." It had been the first time he flirted with her. It had been easy, he knew she didn't know English and would have no clue of what he had said.
She looked at him with one eyebrow quirked up and scowling and in asked, "what did you say scholar? And in our language please."
He felt the blush work across his cheeks and then started laughing. He remembered her looking at him, grabbed the book, and demanded he read it to her word for word in their language so she could see what was so hilarious to him...
Duo watched his fellow stargazer peer into internal remembrance. "Wu?"
Wufei blinked himself from happier times and back to the recesses of wartime.
"You ever read it?" Duo asked with skepticism in his voice, his tone implying something that Wufei was unsure of.
Wufei sat perplexed for a few moments... he didn't know how to answer. He sighed and bit his lower lip. Duo watched and found the expression utterly cute on the pilot. And started laughing. Wufei looked at the American like he had gone mad. . .until Duo grabbed the Chinese pilot and began tickling him. It had been such an instinctive moment for Duo, but it was too tempting...
Duo didn't believe for an instant that the Chinese pilot would be ticklish, but soon found he could not have been more wrong. It was a silent laughter, and Duo wished Wufei had his voice. . . Duo sat there hysterical tickling the other pilot until he was laughing too hard and finally called a truce and with the light gleaming in his eyes looked at Wufei, "Sure I find out your ticklish and you had to be rude enough to loose your voice. Great! The others will never believe me when I say you laughed. This is all your fault!" and he flopped his hands on his hips and let his braid swoosh like a cat's tail.
<<my fault?!?>> Wufei teased back. <<Baka! You were the one who attacked me! And it serves you right!>>
Duo chuckled and responded, luckily having been trained to be an excellent lip reader, "Yes. It is your fault! And I am not a baka!"
Wufei blinked. He completely forgot he had no voice... <<you can lip read?>>
Duo smiled and tapped the Chinese pilot's nose, "Of course! Now who's the baka?"
Wufei blushed at the touch and then pouted, <<you are impossible Maxwell!>>
Duo smirked at Wufei's discomfort, "That's why everyone loves me! Now let us get you to bed! You'll catch your death of cold!!" and with that Duo clamped his arm around the other pilots and dragged him back towards the house, satisfied he had managed to cheer the pilot up.
<<MAXWELL!!!>> Wufei cursed the gods for this monstrosity know as Duo.
Duo smirked, turned, and slyly said, "Can't hear you Wu-man!!"
Wufei's expression was priceless in Duo's mind, a cross between shock and mild amusement, and a pout. The way Duo saw things, this way be a blessing in disguise. . .Wu would have to interact and his expressions were completely adorable! The only problem was to make sure those barriers that he began to deconstruct tonight, stayed down. And tomorrow would be the beginning of that war, until then he was satisfied with tonight. And he smiled wider knowing Wufei was obviously ranting behind him, but now couldn't do a thing, because he couldn't be heard... "One might begin you wanted to stay out here with me Wu-man!" and Duo peeked over his shoulder to watch the copper face blush over with crimson. Again, another completely adorable face! And yanked more and pulled a silently ranting pilot towards the house while his laughter softly echoed in the night. . .
End part 3. More comin- Next time: the next morning . . .no! not that kind of morning. . .sheesh!

Part Four

"In this world we're just beginin' to understand the miracle of livin'. Baby I was afraid before, I'm not afraid, anymore... oh baby do you know what that's worth? Oh heaven is a place on earth. They Say in heaven love comes first! We'll make heaven our place on earth!" - Belinda Carlisle 'Heaven is a Place on Earth' <1>

Part 4/?:

Duo lay on his bed; covers tossed off after hours of restless sleeping. Looking up at the ceiling he sighed, again. Bored. "Wonder if Wu is still up?" he sighed aloud. It had been. . .fun. He actually had fun with the Chinese pilot. He never thought the pilot could have been so. . . different from his mask. Oh, he knew it was a mask, but as he slowly pulled the mask away he found a completely different person. A smiling, happy, and possibly intellectual guy. Someone other than a justice-ranting, stick-up-my-ass pilot everyone thought and referred to him as. It was strange.
He turned onto his side and rummaged in the night table next to his bed. He opened the draw and pulled out the photo, returning to his normal position of facing the ceiling he held the photo above his head. He could not help it. It seemed like an entirely different person. He knew all the pilots wore masks, they were kids by most standards, but functioned as adults. They saw more than any other fifteen-year-old did. They functioned like people in their late twenties. In the middle of a war it seemed a fact on the backburner. But even if Heero was the perfect soldier, his mask broke with a smirk or anger, or even sadness. Heero didn't talk for days after accidentally killing that child and her dog.
Quatre, for someone so complex. . .Duo wondered how his innocence survived. But Quatre was a decent pilot, but what he was not good at made up for in strategy. But the pilot was constantly upset about killing. Trowa hid behind the mask of a person who had witnessed and experienced too much. They all knew of his horrible past. Even he was prone to crying late at nights remembering the haunted sounds of hysterics and death looking at the destroyed Maxwell Church. But Wufei. . .he didn't even tell them his colony exploded. Only Duo found out through a bit of research, and hacking. Wufei had watched his colony explode. Duo couldn't imagine what he would do. . . probably go crazy and try to take people out. When he did mention it to the others, Quatre went into shock. Trowa looked up in shock, hell even Heero looked shocked. Wufei had mentioned nothing. Duo had figured no one would have known unless upon hearing it on the news. The goddamn NEWS!
Duo angrily sat up. He didn't like being snubbed. Hell, he knew in the back on his mind that if he were able, Wufei would have left by now. And Duo did not like being snubbed, even though tonight was fun, Wufei was more than likely to forget about it. "What is his problem with us?!" Duo whispered angrily. He looked at the picture clamped in his hand. "Why don't you understand we are trying to reach out to you!" he hisses silently at the smiling boy in the picture. "Why can't you understand that we want to reach out to you. . .?" he sighed angrily.
Well, he was determined. Wufei was not leaving on his own. Duo was going to stick to him like glue. He was sure he could get Heero to agree to give all partnered missions to him and Wufei. Heero would agree that Wufei shouldn't go off on his own. Especially with his voice out of commission now. Duo smiled, well it looked like the gods of hell and heaven were presenting him with an option to open up the stoic Chinese pilot. And open that pilot he would.
He looked over at the window, "Damn! Morning. . .I need to get better sleeping habits." He slid out of bed, albeit tired but nothing he normal four cups of coffee wouldn't fix. He placed the picture back in the drawer and closed it. He pulled up into a stretch popping his back and yawning, "Well better get ready, I gotta entertain the bore today", flipped the bed-headed braid over his shoulder, and headed towards the shower.
Wufei awoke slowly, turned over, and tried to tumble back into his sleep. Sally opened his door and smiled from the doorjamb at the curled up pilot. She barely smothered a chuckle and silently walked into the room saying cheerfully, "Morning sleepyhead!"
Wufei cracked one eye and pouted. Sally laughed aloud this time. Wufei curled into a half ball and pouting was too much for her.
<<What?>> mouthed Wufei.
Sally sniffed and smiled, "That was probably the cutest thing I have seen you do in entire time I have known you! God! You don't know how adorable you looked!"
<<Woman!!>> Wufei silently growled.
Sally smirked with glee, "Gee, Wufei. . . What was that?"
Wufei balefully glared at her.
"Ohhhhh. . .now I am scared. The death glare in the morning." She teased and patted him on his head and commented, "You know you really look different with your hair down. I am glad we don't have hair bands for you to pull it back."
Wufei pouted. Life was not fair in anyway. He loved them all dearly, and would be devastated if anything ever happened to them, but this insistent teasing and open friendliness with him completely threw him. He didn't understand. First Maxwell last night and now Sally this morning. Then again, he never actually stayed around them more than he had to before. And he got this sinking feeling that he wouldn't be able to get away this time. . .he didn't think they were going to let him go. . .
Duo stuck his head in the door, "ah, you're up!" he said with a smile and walked through the door. Duo was all smiles.
Wufei blinked, he never realized Duo's hair was that long. Right now it was wet, obviously from a shower and dripping on the floor. Sally sighed, "Duo! You're dripping everywhere!"
Duo cracked a brighter smile, "yes, it seems I am. Well better braid it, ne?" and set to work braid his slopping wet hair. "how are ya feelin' this mornin, Wu?"
Wufei blinked and mouthed, <<fine.>>
Duo smiled, "Good. Hate to see you in a bad mood. Prognosis Doctor?" Duo finished with glee.
Sally rolled her eyes. "Good to go. Nothing is wrong, but your voice. It will probably take some time, but I am sure it will come back, if not after a while, out of need to shut up Duo!"
Duo stuck his tongue, "Hey I just am making up for all Wufei would be saying! Right Wu?" he asked with a wink at the said pilot.
Sally chuckled at the two. "No. . ." she silently decided, "Nothing to worry about. Duo will make sure Wufei sticks around and pick up his mood." And then smiled at Duo, "Make sure I get to check on him tonight, Duo!" and as she left the room, dragged Duo after her.
"HEY!!" Duo shouted. He was personally enjoying the view of a half naked Wufei, with his hair down. . .though he didn't get to have a closer look at that tattoo. . .well all things in moderation. <2>
"Duo. . .he needs to shower. Get him some clothes." Sally replied to Duo.
Duo shouted over his shoulder, "Be back in a second, Wu!!!" as he was dragged down the hall.
Well, Duo went to the spare room Quatre always made sure his larger houses had rooms ready for them and went to Wufei's. Rummaging through he finally decided jeans and a t-shirt were fine. And since Wufei already had jeans, a white t-shirt would be fine. And he bounded down the hall again and nearly killed Heero.
"Morning Heero!!" Duo smiled.
Heero gave him a baleful look. Heero was by far not a morning person. "Hn. . ." he replied.
Duo smirked, Heero always looked damn cute in the morning, the ragged mop of hair sticking every which way. . . "Well, isn't it great to be up?"
Heero glared at him. Then noticed the t-shirt, "White? I thought you didn't wear white. . .something about death not wearing white. . ."
Duo smiled, "not for me, Wufei needs something. Can '²t have him wandering around the house naked can we?! What would the neighbors think?"
Heero blinked, suddenly wide-awake, "Wufei is going to wear a t- shirt." The world seemed like it was going to end now. . .
Duo smiled, "Well it isn't as if we have that tradition thingie he wears always available, besides I am sure at one point in his life Wufei has worn jeans and a t-shirt, ne?"
Heero blinked, "Whatever. . ." and went back into the room. Duo smirked and practically ran down the hall, he didn't want to be outside the door when Heero discovered he had switched the Perfect soldier's faucets and cold was hot and hot was set on freezing cold. And as he came upon Wufei's door in the Medical ward he heard the scream and the infamous, "Duo, Omae o korosu!!!!" And with barely contained mirth and hysterics Duo knocked on the door and entered.
Wufei was obviously done and towel drying his silky black hair, looked up at Duo, <<you didn't. . .>>
Duo smirked, "Oh I most certainly did. I believe the entire house heard the 'Omae o korosu' today!"
Wufei rolled his eyes. Maxwell was certainly going to die by Heero's hands one of these days. . .
Duo tossed the shirt on the bed, flopped down, and played with the end of his braid. "How you feeling this morning, Wu-kun?"
Wufei stopped toweling his hair and hung the towel back in the bathroom and shrugged, <<fine.>> Which was a complete lie. He hated being around other people. He was semi-nervous about the attention he knew that would be coming at breakfast. He didn't want to get attached more than he was. That would crush him, and he couldn't stand any more pain. . .not anymore.
Duo noticed the haunted look in Wufei's eyes. He knew the look. . .he got it thinking about the destruction of the Church. Wufei would get it and Duo assumed it was about the destruction of his colony. He didn't know it for sure, but he assumed he was right. And part of him was worried, if Wufei never showed emotion, sooner rather than later it would eat him away and he would fall further into depression, more so than now with his apparent bouts of depression any of the others could spot a mile away. "I got you a shirt, man. Heero will go into shock when you show for breakfast not in your tradition outfit. It would be like me showing up in pink. Well maybe not. They might expect that out of me. . ." Duo rambled the entire time watching that back. "Nice tattoo." He commented admiring the design and movements, it still looked better in moonlight, but beggars could not be choosers.
Wufei turned around and blinked. He had forgotten about that. He had it forever. Meiren made him get it. She always seemed to love it, tracing it at nights. <<ah.>> he answered. He totally had forgotten its presence.
"It suits you. Very elegant." Duo pushed. Personal issues were obviously a taboo with the other pilot, but it would keep him talking, silently albeit, but talking none-the-less.
Wufei smiled slightly, running his fingers through his hair to get any knots out and slipped on his sneakers and turned back to Duo. Who was watching him. <<what?>>
Duo smiled, "You know, you don't look like our Wufei like that. Be careful, we might confuse you with someone else." And at Wufei's pout, Duo replied, "AH! Never mind. That's the Wufei we all know. Now walk around with that exact pout all day, then we won't forget who you are!"
Wufei rolled his eyes and looking to the side cracked a grin. With his attention averted, Duo snagged the other boys hand and dragged him down the hall towards breakfast. And he had meant it. Wufei looked so much less stoic and mean with his hair wisping lightly just below his shoulders, practically dancing with every movement, given it was so fine. And the sight of Wufei wearing a v-neck t-shirt and worn in jeans and sneakers would probably give half of the other pilots a heart attack. He looked so much more human, so much more laid back. . .
He continued to drag Wufei through the halls until reaching the sunny porch where they were having breakfast. Where Quatre bounced Wufei with a hug nearly scaring the boy half to death, "That Ali your alright!" and then dragged Wufei by the hand to the table, letting Duo follow with a wide grin. Nope. Wufei was going to get attention whether he wanted it or not.
He watched Quatre go on and on and he barely nodded in response. And he thought Maxwell was bad. . . No. Duo had nothing on Quatre when he was in the 'are you okay?' mode.
Trowa was beyond amused. Watching Quatre and Duo practically drag Wufei this way and that and chatting to him like he had been dead and somehow resurrected. He let a smile appear just because the moment was too funny not to be enjoyed. He watched as they would ask Wufei questions and never letting him even nod. It was also very interesting to watch Wufei's barriers deconstruct. Going from no emotion to flustered and annoyed. Also the worn in jeans and t-shirt were more than disturbing.
"Is that Wufei?" A voice behind him asked.
Trowa nodded and replied, "Rather disturbing. But yes."
Heero looked from the taller boy to Duo and Quatre practically accosting Wufei. "Are you sure that is Wufei?" he looked skeptically at the boy.
Trowa nodded. He had already said enough for the morning.
Duo finally noticed the other boys standing there, "Mornin' Trowa! Mornin' Heero!! Enjoy the shower?"
Heero glared at him. Duo chuckled and replied, "I'll take that as a yes!"
Wufei sighed, breakfast was going to be an eternity.
"Hey!! Wu-man!!! BREAKFAST!!!" shouted Duo.
Wufei sighed again, yes they were friends, and for the sake of friendship he would stay. Besides avenging Nataku and his colony, well he was sure avenging didn't include killing annoying bakas like Maxwell. The gods were cruel, it wasn't as if he could protest. Then again with Quatre and Duo, he didn't even get the chance to answer anything. . . life was so unfair.
Footnotes: <1> cheesy. But hey I was listening to it while writing. And my quotes always give me a direction to attain to for a character. So far all the quotes maintain to Duo. Except one is Meiren and Duo. <2> I really like that tattoo in my AU-verse. One day I will get a picture drawn of them, until then just imagine. . .and drool.
::falls over and twitches:: that's it for today. That was way too many pages for me. I usually write song fics, not stories. Gah! But thankies for the compliments! They keep me writing!! And maybe I'll crack down on an actual plot and try and stop the character analysis that seems to be happening, unless it doesn't seem so to anyone else. . . well, off to torture the masses!
Part Five

and gomen nasai for taking sooooooooooooooo long. gah! I was appartment hunting and I didn't have time to edit this so it is hopefully editted now and hopefully I will have part 6 up as well.

In my memory... By: Kc-chan

"There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work, most of 'em just cheat on you." - Silent Bob, Clerks <1>

Part 5/ ?

Wufei flopped back on his bed, limbs sprawled everywhere and hairs feathering down to surround his head. Closing his eyes he tried to meditate. He wasn't going to kill them. Killing them would be bad. Extremely bad. Besides Duo was Death, Heero wouldn't die, and Trowa would kill him for attempting to kill Quatre. He couldn't sneak away. . .Quatre had changed security codes and the other four new them, he didn't. And his hacking skills would be wasted on trying to escape from here. . .or maybe not. Didn't they understand?! He didn't know how to deal with other people. He never had to deal with people his age. Except Meiren and that wasn't much of a choice at first.
At least she had warmed to him, but they grew up in the same culture. They didn't engage in many romantic conversations, except when he flirted with her. They didn't say 'I love you.' He knew he cared for her, and perhaps, had she lived long enough, they may have gotten to more than caring, but he had still failed her. And he was nowhere near repenting for letting her die. She died protecting the colony. A colony he watched explode in front of his own eyes.
Gods. . .he wished they had waited until they were out of sight. He couldn't handle it. Alone. He was never strong. He never wanted to be involved in a war. Hell, he didn't care about the war. His guilt had him involved. His colony forced him for the god's sake. All he ever wanted was peace, he hated fighting. He was never emotionally prepared for it. He couldn't handle killing. He would see the faces of those innocents he had killed, accident or not, every moment. Every time he closed his eyes they were there, taunting him. Reminding how much of a failure he was.
He couldn't protect his own colony! How did the sempai expect him to save the other colonies? The others had so much more experienced then him. They were able to handle it, he couldn't. he was a scholar. Not an assassin. And now that he was an assassin he didn't think he could return after the war. Return to near pacifism and scholarly arts? After he had slaughtered thousands probably near millions in their fight for peace. . .
He could feel the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He couldn't cry!! He wasn't cry. . .he swallowed down the sob forming in his throat. He didn't 't want to disappoint the lessons taught by his teachers. He was emotionless, he was one with nature, and he was to remain passive and only act for honor and pride of the colony. He swallowed again. He wished Duo had never saved him from the wreck. . .he wanted to die. He needed to die. Death was his only escape from this disgusting cycle of life. His release from pain and pressure placed on him. How ironic that it was Death who had saved him from dying, and that Death was still trying to get close to him.
The thought of the carefree pilot made Wufei relax a bit. So real. . .no cares. He fights for a truth and for revenge. Heero was trained. Quatre really fights for the colonies. And Trowa. . .fought to keep the past at bay. Those haunted eyes. . .Yet. . .Wufei sighed and tried clearing his mind again. That was not working. His mind was running in circles and was not calming down. "Might as well start repairs to Nataku." He thought as he sat up and headed towards the hanger.
Duo was wandering around the halls. After breakfast sometime Wufei had made a retreat to his room feigning tiredness. Which was an obvious lie. Duo didn't understand. . .what did they do to push Wufei away. They tried many times, but the guy would refuse attention, get this odd look in his eyes and retreat very quickly. Duo was a little annoyed. He was trying to reach out to Wufei, who would conveniently disappear for a while, he tried checking the medical room. . .no luck. Then he tried Wufei's room, no luck again. "He is such a ass!" duo hissed stomping down the halls.
Heero poked his head out of his room. "Duo?"
Duo turned around and flashed a smile, "Hey Yuy! Still punching away at your laptop? Whatcha' lookin for?"
Heero sighed, "You must be the only person who speaks Japanese in slang. . ."
Duo smiled, "you should hear my English."
Heero rolled his eyes, "I don't think I even want to."
Duo flopped into a chair next to the computers that he and Trowa worked on. "Hi Trowa!"
The silent boy waved over his shoulder. Duo smirked and leaned back in the chair, "So, whatcha boys lookin for?"
Trowa looked over his shoulder as Quatre walked in. Duo sometimes swore Trowa had Quatre telepathy. Quatre had brought them all tea, and a coffee for Duo.
Duo graciously took the coffee, "You are such the host!"
Quatre smiled. "You wanted me?"
Heero pulled up some files onto the major screen. "Trowa and I had some questions regarding Wufei and his solo missions. We pulled some interesting answers."
Duo looked up, interest piqued, "Deep dark secrets?"
Heero, smirked, "a few hacking techniques into Dr. J's main computer."
Quatre smiled, "He is gonna wonder why. . ."
Heero answered with what one could consider a smile, "Not the fires on the other side of his base stop."
Quatre quirked an eyebrow, "ah."
Duo pulled the chair closer, "So what did you find Yuy?"
Trowa leaned back in his chair, "Did you know Wufei gets solo missions because he didn't have time to train in order to learn to work with other pilots?"
Quatre frowned, "that seems odd. Wufei is probably better than all of us at handling his Gundam. . ."
Heero looked grim, "He only trained with mobile suits and such for a few years before getting into a Gundam."
Duo shrugged, "So? That still doesn't answer whatever you two are trying to get at. . ."
Trowa sighed and placed his fingers against his temple and rubbed them slightly, "According to files we stumbled across, Wufei has only trained since he was thirteen."
Quatre nearly dropped his mug of tea, "That can not be right."
Duo had to agree with Quatre. They all had been trained at least from age eight or nine. Duo had always assumed Quatre had the least amount of experience and Heero had the most, probably born in a Gundam. But Wufei flew at least as well as Heero and Trowa any day and could often match Quatre in logic and himself in hand to hand in a Gundam. He thought Wufei had the training Heero and Trowa and himself had. At least as much as him, maybe as much as Heero. But two and a half years ago he started to learn?!? It didn't seem possible. "Heero, Tro-man. You gotta be jokin! There is no may someone can master all those skills in two years before we entered the war."
Trowa shook his head and Heero responded, "No joke. Wufei and another unknown person were trained. The other was a warrior and it shows Wufei was separated and trained in something around the age of six, but. . ."
Quatre looked at the screens. "well, maybe instead of us hunting and hacking down information, we should just ask Wufei. Well, you know, we can all read his lips or something. . ."
Trowa shrugged not caring and Heero nodded. Duo looked at Quatre, "I don't think he would answer any of our questions."
Trowa butted in, "He is shy duo."
All the pilots turned to look at Trowa. Trowa had talked a lot today and his little input surprised the other pilots. "I mean, he acts like a person who is shy."
Heero shrugged and powered down the computers. Quatre sipped his tea in thought. "You might be right. He doesn't seem to know how to act around us though. Could it possibly be he is shy?"
Duo stopped listening then. It seemed a lot clearer now. Wufei did act shy, but there was something else. Wufei acted as if he didn't know how to act around normal people his age. Which would almost definitely mean he never spent time around kids his age? He decided he would press the issue with Wufei. And this time, Wufei was going to start welcoming them, whether he wanted to or not.

End part 5. . .

Notes: <1> don't ask. I have had "Build Me Up, Buttercup" in my head all week. So I gave this a good Kevin Smith quote.

Part Six

One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passers-by see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way. - Vincent Van Gogh

Part 6/?

Wufei had been working on Nataku for a few hours, and had kept working through lunch to avoid the other pilots. He just didn't know how to react around them, especially Quatre, and more so, Duo. All his problems seemed to boil down to the brash American pilot with spunk. He sighed and set back to work on the Gundam.
Duo marched silently down the halls of the Winner estate figuring that Wufei would be working on his Gundam. There were always a few places Wufei would ever be. He had to be one of the easiest people that Duo knew to track down. He was angry for some reason. Angry that after all his effort, Wufei acted as if he didn't care. Duo wasn't sure if he was acting or Wufei just didn't give two-shits about them. Duo could feel his temper rising and as he turned into the hanger he plastered on a large smile, he never approached anything with out his smile.
"Oi!!! WUUUUUUU-FEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!" he bellowed and scampered up Wufei's Gundam to sit on the shoulder near to where Wufei was making repairs on the laptop.
Wufei glared at the American pilot and asked, <<what?>>
Duo smiled his grin-o-death, "Just seeing what you were up to! You missed lunch, but I assumed you weren't hungry and probably wanted some company while repairing Shenlong. . .sorry. Nataku. Or whatever you want to call it." Duo was trying to hit nerves purposely. If he was in a bad mood because of the Chinese pilot, then Wufei had better be in one as well.
Wufei kept on ignoring the American pilot. Duo had the easiest ways of annoying him, he had no culture, no respect, and everything to Duo was a joke. Wufei took life seriously and contemplatively. He had a rigorous culture that he didn't like or want to follow but did, if not for himself, but for the colony he once called home.
Duo glared at Wufei. He did not like being ignored. "Hey! Did you loose hearing as well, Wu-man or are you choosing to ignore me?" he cracked a sarcastic smile but the Chinese pilot went on ignoring him.
Duo gritted his teeth and ducked into Shenlong's cockpit to use the chair. He didn't care if Wufei yelled at him. . .Hmmmm. That slipped his mind. Wufei couldn't yell at him. Bonus for him. His foot knocked into something and looking down he noticed all the wires and he poked his head out, "you want help?"
Wufei again ignored him. Working on Nataku was serious. He had to repair her. He couldn't let her down again . . .
Duo jumped out of the cockpit and stormed over to Wufei, he grabbed Wufei's arm, dragged him to standing level, and turned him around so he was facing Duo. "Look, I don't know what crawled up your ass but I am offering to help you, either you want my help or no, but at least acknowledge me!"
Wufei pushed Duo away and straightened the laptop, but duo yanked him away. "Answer." He demanded.
Wufei's lips formed a demi-snarl. The American was really starting to annoy him. Really annoy him. <<go away.>> he said.
Duo smiled evilly, "Okay, where do want help?" and starting strolling towards the laptop at a teasingly slow pace. He knew how to annoy the other pilot perfectly.
<<Maxwell!!!>> Wufei silently cursed. Duo was doing this on purpose. He reached forward and was just shy of stopping Duo with his grip.
"You know, we could just have the guys fix it up! hey that's it!" he scrambled off to ask Quatre's men to fix up Wufei's Gundam as well.
<<MAXWELL!!!>> Wufei was pissed. He hated being treated like an idiot, especially by Duo. He sprinted after Duo.
Duo smile grew wider, this was perfect. He was pissing off the Chinese pilot and he had already told the guys to fix the Gundam, waited for the right moment, flipped out of Wufei's way, and tripped him, bringing Wufei down to the ground.
Duo knelt down, grabbed Wufei's arms, and looked Wufei in the eye. All masks on Duo's side gone. The haunted despair, the anger, the depression, and the happiness shown through. "well, now that we had that taken care of, I have a few questions, and you are not getting loose to I am satisfied with the answers." And Duo tightened his grip harshly.
Wufei winced. He didn't realize Duo had the strength it actually hurt. He glared at Duo. He didn't know what the pilot was up to, but he'd be damned if he was going to talk. <<Get off of me!>>
Duo smiled, "Alright, I will begin. What happened during your landing a few days ago?" Start off easily and get towards personal issues.
<<I messed up.>> Wufei replied with a glare. He didn't like this. Duo was hurting him.
Duo nodded. "It happens. Next is, why didn't you tell us your colony blew up?"
Wufei's mouth fell open and his lips started trembling. He knew they probably heard on the news, but he never thought. . . Duo . . Duo would be cruel enough to mention it. Didn't they understand!?! He saw his colony. . ./his colony/ blow up!! everything he knew. . .every person he ever had known. . .destroyed in a matter of seconds. Destroyed. . .he started shaking. Trembling. He was trying to hold it back. He must not going to break down. He wasn't suppose to have emotion. That war is not for the weak and emotion- filled. . .that. . .that. . .he was gasping for air. . .the room was closing in on him. . .he couldn't. He pushed Duo away with a sudden burst of angry strength. And took off.
"How dare he!?!?! How /dare/ he?!?!" he screamed in his thoughts as he sprinted away from the hanger. He felt the tears forming. He wasn't going to cry. . .he had to be stronger than that!!
Duo pushed himself up and took after Wufei. He felt like a prick but he wanted emotion. He never saw a mask crumble like that. . .the emotion rush into those usually haunted and blank eyes. He took off in a sprint following close behind Wufei. He was not letting the other pilot get away. He broke through that mask and he was going to prove that they cared. . .that he cared.
Duo sprinted harder and tackled Wufei sending them tumbling to the ground. Duo secured both hands on Wufei's and hooked his knees and calves around Wufei's legs. Wufei was sprawled on the ground while Duo knelt above him.
<<kisama!!!>> Wufei hissed his eyes filling up with tears. <<leave me alone you bastard!!!>>
Duo lost it and his eyes turned dark and without realizing it he screamed at Wufei in English, "Listen to me and listen to me good. Yes I am a bastard for bringing it up, but if you don't start showing emotion you are going to die of depression!! I see it! Quatre sees it!! Trowa, hell even Heero sees it and if you think I am going to let it slid anymore you have another thing coming Wufei!!! I may be a bastard because I care about you, and am concerned but you are a complete and utter pretentious mother-fucking prick!!"
Wufei's eyes widened the entire time. He never saw Maxwell mad, he never saw duo act violent, and the fact Duo just screamed at him. . .in English?! Wufei swallowed, he knew what they meant. . .
Duo panted from his anger, and in Japanese started, "you are very lucky that you don't what I called you-" he stopped when he saw Wufei's mouth open. . .
<<I am not an idiot Maxwell. I understood what you said.>> Wufei said as he felt the tears run down his face. He knew Duo was right. He was in depression and he needed them. He needed them more than anything. He bit his lip and cast his eyes away. He felt the sobs working their way up his throat. He didn't want to cry. . .
Duo looked at Wufei completely broken. Wufei had understood him and in English Duo asked, "You speak English?!?"
Wufei didn't move his eyes but answered, in English, <<Yes, Maxwell. I can speak English.>>
Duo blinked , "And here I thought you were like Heero, perfect soldier and no real brains. . .oh shit." He realized what he said aloud.
Wufei glared at the American pilot, <<I am not an idiot Maxwell!>>
Duo egged him on, anger fueling Wufei into talking was fine with him, "Oh, like I would know that!"
Wufei glared up at Duo, pissed that his intelligence was being questioned. He was never thought of as stupid and that Maxwell had assumed, <<I was raised as a scholar Maxwell->> he stopped at Duo's grin. Duo had tricked him into speaking about his past. . .gentle hands and fingers wiped the tears from his cheeks and pulled him up to a sitting position. Wufei blinked. And wiped at the tears.
"Men don't cry?" Duo smiled and before Wufei was able to react, Duo pulled him into a hug.
Wufei let it go. He cried into Duo's shoulder letting the silent sobs rack his small frame. . .it felt good. He never mourned for the colony. . .maybe he could learn to mourn for her as well. . .
End part 6.

Well. It is definitely gonna get more steamy now. I hope. I know it was a little OOC and I figured the age was from the manga. Wufei was the last one to get trained I think... wasn't sure. But please bear with it.

Part Seven

In my memory. . .

By: Kc-chan

"All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are
supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else
will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that
somebody else is married to your husband." - Marie, When Harry met
Sally

Part 7/?

"WUUUUUUUUUUU-KUUUUUUUUNNNN!!!" the voice echoed loudly through the
empty hanger. Duo flounced in looking for his Wufei. Quatre suggested
they go down to the beach, something Duo was excited about. He
hadn't really been to the beach very often, well not unless he landed
on one for a mission as of late. They were bringing a picnic and
just taking the day off. Well, the computer was still coming so they
would be on in case of a mission. But Quatre said he might
personally hunt down the doctors if a mission came in, they all
wanted to relax. . .and maybe get a little more use to having Wufei
around.

Duo figured he needed to make up for the shitty way he acted towards
the other pilot, but there was so much to learn about Wufei, and he
was so insistent about keeping his distance. But after that incident
a few days ago, Wufei had opened up some. Of course it took someone
to start being friendly with him and then he would attempt a
smile. . .but something. . .something Duo could not figure out was
going on in Wufei's mind. And it seemed like he was afraid of
something. . .

He crossed through the house and finally reached Wufei's bedroom and
knocked and waited a moment and nearly chuckled, "not like you can
answer, ne?" he thought and out loud called out as he twisted the
door's handle, "Comin in Wu-kun!"

He opened the door and saw Wufei deep in meditation. He silently
closed the door and stood absolutely still, scarcely breathing.
Wufei looked radiant. Hair down and blowing softly in the warm
breeze through the opened window and in worn in jeans and no shirt.
Duo let his eyes skim over the Chinese pilot. It always amazed him
how built the other was but yet how small he was at the same time.
He was quickly becoming the smallest of them all. Duo swore even
Quatre was a bit taller than Wufei, though not as built. "No,
definitely not as built. . ." Duo smiled in his thoughts letting his
eyes drink in the unaware pilot.

"And that back." Duo licked his dry lips. Those wings were so damn
adorable. Duo made a mental note to thank whoever made Wufei get
it. That tattoo soooo fitted him.

Duo broke out of his starring and crossed over to Wufei and pounced
him.

<<ARGHHHH!!!>> Wufei shouted as he was tackled from behind and thrown
down onto the bed.

"Hey Wu-man! Guess what?!" Duo said smiling down on the pilot he was
straddling.

Wufei tried to suppress a blush. He was assuming Duo didn't mean
to. . .straddle him in any way but a playful manner. <<What?>> he
asked.

Duo leaned in close so their noses were touching, "We are going to
the beach. The beach, man! Picnic and all!! Quatre surprised us with
this! There's a beach on this property and the cove is there! Won't
it be a blast!!!"

Well, as Duo leaned closer Wufei's mind stopped. Completely
stopped. He wasn't sure why. . .or why his heart fluttered or even
why he was blushing. . . <<the beach?>> he repeated blinking into
violet pools.

Duo smiled, "Yep! So come on!" and threw a pair of swimming trunks at
Wufei. "Get changed! We gotta catch up to them!"

Wufei blinked as Duo shoved him into the bathroom and closed him in.
He changed and threw on a shirt and sandals. . ."the beach?!" the
thought and smiled. He never really been to the beach. . .never
allowed as a child, there were more important things to
do. . .studying to be better, stronger. . .more withdrawn. He tucked
his loose hair behind his ears and opened the bathroom door.

Duo smiled and quickly looked over the other pilot. "You know. . .you
could be a model Wu! Then you could get all those little girls
screaming for you!" Duo flung an arm around Wufei's shoulders and
began walking them to the door. Then looked the other pilot up and
down watching Wufei struggle to suppress another blush, "Well, you
are definitely easy on the eyes. . ."

<<Maxwell!>> Wufei sputtered.

"Here." Duo dumped a pile of towels in Wufei's hands while he picked
up the beach ball and a box of sand toys. And with that they ran to
catch up to the others waiting in the jeep. Well, Duo yanked Wufei
towards the jeep. He was not letting Wufei think. It seemed the
more time he was given to think about his actions, the more likely
Wufei was to try and get out of social gatherings. So Duo wouldn't
let the other pilot think.

Heero smirked and started the jeep as Duo pushed Wufei in. Heero
rolled his eyes at a boy who was fast becoming a brother to him. It
was hilarious to see Duo forcing Wufei to be social. Heero figured
Wufei was brought up in an cultural and traditional colony,
he probably wouldn't know how to interact, their research on Wufei
proved as such.

But it was still unnerving seeing Wufei with his hair down and in
normal clothing, being literally ushered to a normal, well demi-
normal teenagers life by Duo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quatre laughed as Duo kept trying to pull Wufei into doing everything
that he was. And poor Wufei was completely flustered. Trowa rolled
his eyes at duo's antics.

Duo finally stopped dragging Wufei behind him and dropped the box he
was carrying and handed a pail and a small plastic shovel to Wufei.
Quatre laughed and ran over to join leaving Heero and Trowa blinking
and strolling over.

<<what are those?>> Wufei asked looking at the buckets and pails and
small useless objects Duo was spreading around with Quatre.

Quatre looked at Wufei in a little bit of surprise, "Buckets and
shovels, Wufei-kun. . ."

<<I know that, I mean what are you doing with them?>> Wufei tried to
explain his question. It made no sense to him. There was nothing to
do with the flimsy shovel.

Duo blinked in surprise, "We are going to all build a sand castle, Wu-
man! You know. . .a sand castle!"

The four looked at Wufei's blank expression that was looking at them
like they were crazy.

Granted Heero knew he never had built a sandcastle and was sure Trowa
hadn't, but they knew what one was. Quatre asked sweetly, "Haven't
you ever built a sand castle, Wufei-kun?"

After a second Wufei answered, <<No.>>

The other four pilots looked at him then at each other. Duo yanked
Wufei down to the sand, "Well, then I guess today, Duo Maxwell sand
castle builder extraordinaire must teach you, ne?" he announced
cheekily.

Well they all set to task of building a sandcastle, even Wufei. Duo
smiled, spending most of the time watching and regarding the silent
Chinese boy. "I bet he doesn't even realize he hasn't stopped
smiling today. . ." Duo thought content all his effort was paying
off. It had seemed odd, Duo was afraid it would be hard to pull
Wufei into a comfortable friendly relationship with the other
pilots. But with Wufei actually joining in, nothing seemed wrong.
it seemed very natural.

Too natural. Duo snuck back to the ocean and filled a bucket with
water. . .and snuck back and dumped it on Heero.

"Maxwell!!" Heero yelped. Quatre burst into laughter as did Trowa.
The look on Heero's face was priceless. Duo scampered back and yanked
Wufei in front of him, using Wufei as a shield and yanking him
backwards. . .

<<Maxwell!!>> Wufei yelled as it turned into a chaotic mess, which
ended with both him and Duo being dunked into the cove's clear water
by Heero.

"Payback time!!" Duo yelled and pounced Heero pulling him under the
waves.

At the water's edge, Quatre was gasping for air as he laughed at the
sight of Heero, Duo, and Wufei dunking each other and splashing
water everywhere. Then someone from behind him lifted him up. "Ah!!"
Quatre screamed and Trowa unceremoniously dropped his little lover
into the water with a triumphant smile and a twinkle of humor in his
eye.

Quatre came up gasping for air and gave Trowa a poutful look which
was so damn adorable Trowa snickered and laughed and found himself
under attack by the small Arabian and water.

<<Maxwell!!>> Wufei shrieked as Duo once again went to dunk him under
water. . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun was beginning to set on the beach. . . Duo smiled as he
shifted ever so much closer to Wufei who seemed caught up in his
thoughts. Quatre and Trowa were wrapped in a blanket waiting for the
stars to come out. Heero was actually smiling while cooking. Quatre
had taken the liberty of inviting Relena to join them mid day.

She did seem to make the Wing pilot blush a lot. . .but Duo saw the
content smirk as she brushed a peck on Heero's cheek. And the bright
red blush that followed.

He and Wufei were a bit away from the others, hidden slightly by a
small sand dune. He sighed, Wufei seemed so mellow and lost in
thought. Like having fun was wrong to him. . .

"Hey, Wufei?" Duo started and waited for the other pilot to
acknowledge his presence.

<<yes?>> Wufei asked looking at Duo. He felt a blush again. . .He
didn't know what was wrong with him. . .why he would get all happy
when Duo talked to him. . .smiled at him. . .listened to
him. . .touched him. When Duo made him cry, it hurt, but somehow
with Duo's hands holding him, he felt safe and warm and. . .something.

"You have never been on beach to play as a kid? I mean you were like
a noble or whatever on L5 right? You couldn't just go to the beach?"
Duo asked eyes reflecting the oncoming night mist.

Wufei swallowed, he was caught in those beautiful eyes, and before he
knew what he was doing he replied, <<I was being raised to be a
leader among my colony. I. . .I never really had a childhood, as one
might call it. I was always. . .studying, something or another. . ."

Duo felt for the pilot, never really having a childhood but, "But you
still played with the other kids, ne?" and nervously chuckled, "you
weren't always. . ." and he stopped with the pained look in Wufei's
eyes.

<<alone? Yes, I suppose I was.>> Wufei replied eyes gazing to some
unseen star cluster.

"oh. . .I. . .gomen nasai. That's horrible." Duo answered. He
always had somebody. Granted most of them had died, but he was
death, and he always moved on. "Surely you had somebody to talk
to. . .?"

Wufei was silent for a long while, Duo stared at the other pilot.
Then in a serene calm Wufei looked at Duo, <<I. did. I had someone,
for a while. Who. . .she. . .>> he stopped and looked away. He was
foolish to believe Duo would even care.

Duo sighed. It looked like that was the Wufei history lesson for the
day. . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it was late when they finally reached the house. Trowa lifted and
cradled Quatre and headed back to their rooms. Heero and Relena said
a goodbye and he walked Relena back to her car.

Wufei had drifted off on the ride home. Duo smiled, "well, it has
been a long day, and he really has opened up more than he thinks."
And then wondered. . ."I probably shouldn't. . .but. . ." and with a
small smile, Duo lifted the smaller Chinese pilot with hardly an
effort.

"You know how light you are?" and walked towards the house.

Trowa snapped a picture from the window o his and Quatre's bedroom
and smiled as Quatre blinked and looked over with a tired smile, "Got
it?"

Trowa smiled, "yes."

Quatre smiled wider and snuggled up against Trowa who had finally
climbed into bed, and whispered, "won't they be surprised. . ."

Duo walked towards Wufei's room, carrying the surprisingly light
pilot and opened the bedroom door. He walked slowly towards the bed
and placed the other pilot down. Suddenly Wufei stirred and blearily
looked up. <<Maxwell?>>

"Hey, you looked too kawaii to just leave in the jeep or wake up. So
I carried you here." Duo replied with a smirk enjoying the faint
blush on the other boy's cheeks. And with out think about it Duo
pressed his lips against Wufei's in a sudden kiss. Nothing deep but
a small kiss. Then realized them and smiled. "Night!" and walked out
of the room with a large dopey smile.

Wufei blinked and lifted a trembling hand to brush fingertips to the
slightly bruised lips. Duo had kissed him. His stomach lurked and
felt like it dropped a few stories. <<Duo. . .>> he mouthed and held
back guilty tears. . .and softly cried himself to a wrestles sleep.

Part Eight

hi... well, this part is a wee bit short, and I hopefully will get another part out monday, or tuesday...

In My Memory. . .

"I never thought of taking the place of your lost love nor would I wish to, for if ever you choose to keep me in your heart, I want that place to be called as my own." -Pau

Part 8/?

Death. . .Everywhere he turned there was blood and haunted faces. . .he let his colony fall. . .he let them die. . .why did have to deal with happiness? He didn't deserve happiness. . . He stepped onto a destroyed temple of his colony. Meiren glared at him.
"How dare you?" she hissed. "How dare you destroy your home? How dare you claim to be a pilot? You are not worthy. . .scholar. Worthless and weak. A worm. I should have let you die in that field. Your are a mockery of what our colony stood for!" All the while walking closer to him.
Wufei could feel the tears spilling onto his cheeks, wetness trailing down them. "no. . ..I. . .I. . ." he kept backing up. what could he say in his defense?
"You never cared! You would rather have been curled up with your precious books than cared about the colony or the future or even me!" Her words stung him. Clawed deeply into his heart and soul. . .
"NO! I did love you! I did. . ." Wufei struggled to keep from collapsing, he did love her, as much as any thirteen year old could love. It wasn't as if she made it easy or him.
Meiren scoffed, "Love me, did you? Ha! You would rather have your precious American now, you little slut! Defeated so easily! A worm! So weak you need a man to love you. . .you have always been unworthy of me, scholar!"
Wufei gasped back a sob, "NO! Duo. . .duo and I are. . ."
Meiren smirked, "What, dear husband? Friends? I highly doubt that! They only use you! They see you as a tool, nothing more. . .what else are you good for, scholar? Obviously not fighting. . .Duo obviously doesn't care about you. How could he?"
Wufei glared back at her through his tears, "you're wrong, Meiren. Dead wrong. Duo is my friend!"
Meiren shot forward and tightened her hand around his neck, "Why then, husband? Tell me why? Cause he touches you? Makes you feel something you claim to never had? Or was it because he kissed you?"
Wufei choked through sobs as Meiren's hand closed around his neck, he fought silently but the world started going black. . .his vision blurring. "You should thank me, husband for killing you before you die with out honour. . ."
<<NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!>> Wufei screamed as he fell out of bed. He was panting, covered in sweat, tears rolling down his cheeks. . .
Duo came sprinting with Quatre at the sound of the crash. Duo slammed open the door finding a frightened looking pilot on the floor, cuddled up against the bed, obviously sobbing and trembling.
Quatre looked from Duo to Wufei, "I'll make some tea for you both, talk to him Duo. . ." and left the room. Pausing only to shut the door, for their previous.
Duo slowly walked over to the pilot, "Wufei?" he barely whispered. The other pilot didn't respond. Duo knelt in front of him and lifted the other pilot's face up. He gently pushed stray pieces of hair away from sloe eyes. Wufei's eyes were unfocused, lost somewhere.
"Hey, Wufei. . .come on. . .snap out of it. . ." Duo whispered attempting to pull the other pilot from the recesses of his mind. Whatever it was Wufei was dreaming about it had scared him half to death. "Wufei. . .come on. . ." duo pulled the smaller boy against him. Holding him close and burying his cheek against dark silken hair.
By now Quatre walked back in with three mugs of steaming tea. "Still no change?" he asked quietly. He hated seeing Wufei go through this but it was actually quite common to him and Duo. They often tried to help Wufei wake from what must be horrifying dreams, yet they never could.
"What. . .why does he have to go through this. . .?" Duo whispered pulling Wufei even closer as sobs racked the boy's body.
Quatre regarded Wufei for a moment than sat down next to Duo. "I don't know. . .possibly nightmares. . ."
Duo looked over at the Arabian sitting next to him and Wufei, "Why him. . .hasn't he been through enough. . ." tears were threatening to fall from Duo's eyes.
Quatre sighed, "Sometimes. . .sometimes we bear a great guilt. Duo, Wufei probably suffers from survivor's guilt and probably always will. I don't think I would of handled m colony blowing up. . .think how Wufei must have felt. From what we have learned through our hacking skills, Wufei was raised alone, saw his colony destroyed while he sat there. God knows what must have been going through his head. . ."
Duo sighed and closed his eyes, "I want it to stop, Quatre. . .this is killing him. . .there must be more than that. . ."
Quatre looked at the trembling Chinese pilot then to Duo, "I am sure there is, but when will he tell it is our problem."
Duo ran fingers along the back of his friend trembling in his arms, "Well, then we will have to force it out."
Quatre looked at the American pilot, "That might not be wise. . ."
Duo glared at Quatre, "Quatre, I don't like seeing him tear himself apart, it isn't healthy."
Quatre sighed and looked at the ceiling, "yes. . .I know Duo, but if he doesn't share willingly, then it would be in vain. . ."
Duo glared at the bed, "then how? Tell me how we get through to him?!"
Quatre sighed and stroked the Chinese pilot's hair, "by showing we care. . .by showing him we are not going to abandon him. By showing him he can not leave us either."
Duo sighed and agreed, "Wufei, you better hear me now, your secrets are not safe for long. . .we. . .I will pull them out of you bit by damned bit if I must. . ."
Ack... short I know, gomen nasai. . .more will be coming. . .soon. . .I hope.

Part Eight

"Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses."-Voltaire

Wufei struggled to sit up, but found he was unable to. Duo was holding him against his bare chest and looking down at him. Wufei felt a blush work its way across his cheeks and averted his eyes only to see a bright pair of turquoise glancing at him, marked with worry. Fingers were stroking his hair. It must have come loose in the night was the thought that came and left. Leaving him cuddled in a American's lap and Quatre stroking his hair.
"Are you alright?" Quatre asked slowly not taking his eyes off the Chinese pilot. It had been a long night. He and Duo had not slept and Wufei was getting worse. The entire night. The entire night he trashed, silently screamed, cried, twist, and turned as if in some struggle.
Duo looked at him with a mixture of fear, love, and anger. He was afraid of the depression that seemed to be grabbing his . . .friend and love for what he knew was growing in him for Wufei and anger for Wufei letting this happen. "What were your nightmare's about?" Duo decided to let his anger show.
Quatre whispered, "Duo. . ."
Wufei looked between the two of them. . . he must have been quite a show last night.
"No Quatre!!! He talks! I am sick of watching him live through goddamn hell every damn night!" Duo shouted back.
"Duo, please. . . calm down. We both need sleep. We shall talk later. . ." Quatre tried to reason. Wufei slipped from the American's grip and slipped away. He pushed further into the corner. How could he just tell them. Tell them that he hated fighting? Tell them he was a coward? Tell them. . .tell him. . .
Heero and Trowa woke up to the shouting coming from Wufei's room. Heero blinked, "What the hell is going on? I swear I am going to duck tape Duo's mouth shut."
Trowa listened the words as they sunk in. "Quatre's shouting?"
Heero looked at Trowa, "Shit." And the took off down the hall towards Wufei's room.
Coming to the door they witnessed Quatre shouting to reason with Duo and Duo shouting about how Wufei had to talk. And Wufei? Trowa stayed back and let Heero handle the two boys. Looking around he noticed Wufei wasn't there." Where's Wufei?" Trowa asked stopping the shouting.
"Right- shit!" Duo remarked, "He snuck away!"
"Split up. He may try and hurt himself. . ."
Heero remarked and all through on shorts and shirts and went to hunt the Chinese pilot down. .
..~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wufei just sat curled under a tree. He knew it was a matter of time before they found him and he would have more strange behavior to explain. Why couldn't they understand?! He wanted to be close, he truly did. He was going to cherish the memories he was making here, it was just. . .it was hard. He went almost sixteen years without living with emotion, and except when Meiren died, that was the only time until his colony exploded he ever showed emotion. Ever. His entire life he had been taught it was wrong. that a man does not show emotion. . . so why did he want to more than anything?
He sighed and pulled his knees towards his head to cover the fact he was crying. "Men don't cry. . ." his thought told him. <<Why. . .?>> he whispered. <<Why can't I cry? Why can't I just make myself belong? I want to belong so badly. . .>> he wiped his nose with tieback of his hand. He couldn't understand. . .why couldn't they understand. . ."Because they don't know." The answer came mentally.
A snapping twig alerted him the someone walking towards him. "Everybody is looking for you." A voice he recognized as Trowa spoke softly. Wufei glared at the ground. Somehow he was starting to believe he was excelling at make bad situations, worse. Trowa sat down next to him, leaned back on the tree, and looked at the sky. He bit his lip and sighed.
He knew he wasn't the best person to talk to Wufei. One shy person talking to another was not an idea to help Wufei. He wished Quatre was here. He shouldn't have looked so hard, but it was better than Maxwell screaming at Wufei. Duo was concerned. . .Trowa hinted at a smile. Rather like Quatre, except his little lover wasn't forceful. . .he just had those damned puppy eyes that made him fall in love every time he saw them. He looked over at Wufei. He knew Wufei was trying. And he was trying hard, but it had to be hard. ". . .What was it like as a child?" he asked. He had to do this, at least until the others found them. "Besides, I think I might be the only one who can understand him. . ." he thought.
Wufei looked over at Trowa. <<Nani?>> he asked. This didn't seem like a Trowa thing to do.
Trowa sighed. He wasn't the person to do this, but. . . "Duo mentioned you were always alone as a child. It must have been tough."
Wufei looked at Trowa then off into the woods. He was fighting with wanting to talk and not wanting to talk. He wasn't ready to talk to Duo, not when Duo was ranting and raving. He would rather talk with Quatre. Quatre was sweet and nice, sure he would get some pity looks, but he would know they were sincere. He turned back to Trowa, not looking at him, but to let him understand that he was answering the question, <<I didn't realize I was lonely until I met another person remotely near my age.>> he replied.
Trowa nodded and waited for the shy boy to continue. He knew how hard it was to speak of the past. It was horrible for him, but after crying in Quatre's arms, he had felt a pain leave him. Knowing that he got to protect Quatre from people. That he was protecting, not being abused. And although it had pained him seeing the pain in Quatre's eyes when he saw his father die, Trowa was remotely thankful. Now Quatre wouldn't have to hear the disappointment in his father's voice. That to Trowa was precious. Turning attention back to Wufei he asked, ". . .Who?"
Wufei closed his eyes and responded slowly. He had to tell someone. It was tearing him apart on the inside. . .
//"Come Wufei. You must met your fiancée." And elder said pulling him along. He didn't know what a fiancée was yet, but it sounded terribly interesting. He had never met another person his age before. He was terribly excited.
"Is this the weakling I am to marry?!" a high upset voice rang though the room as a small girl his age glared at him.
He walked over and smiled, then bowed to show his respect, "Hello." He was complimented on how well behaved he was for a child of six.
She glared at him, "I am stronger than you. I will not marry you, scholar!" and she ran away from the room, leaving him alone. And very disheartened. All he wanted was a friend. A person his age to talk to. . . and he couldn't cry. He would be beaten for crying, it wasn't suited for a man.//
Trowa looked at the boy next to him. "But. . .you were six and you were engaged?" his shock was completely understandable.
<<it was an arranged marriage at birth.>> Wufei answered honestly.<<I didn't see her again until we were married when we were twelve.>>
Trowa blinked. Wufei was married?!? "Then she is. . .?"
Wufei shook his head, <<No she died the next year. They were training us to be pilots at thirteen and OZ attacked our colony. She died.>>
Trowa swallowed his confusion and regarded the other boy. He saw the tears on the other boy's cheeks. It would make sense why Wufei got uncomfortable at Duo's advances then. . . ". . .I am sorry for your loss. It is hard losing a loved one."
Wufei blinked at that statement. "Loved one?" he thought. Of the entire year he had been with Meiren, every time he tried to get close to her, try to make them at least friends she would try and fight him. They were from two different worlds. <<We fought all the time. . .>> Wufei remarked.
Trowa looked at his companion. "That doesn't mean she didn't love you."
Wufei closed his eyes. <<no.>> he finally admitted after all these years, <<I don't think she ever loved me, nor even cared for me. Perhaps. . .perhaps she accepted me right before she died, but that is it.>>
Trowa sighed and whispered, "But you loved her?"
Wufei looked surprised at the question. Did he love her? She never gave him a reason to. She never really wanted to be near him. <<I. . .I. . .cared for her. I don't think I loved her. Meiren and I came from two different worlds. She wanted to fight. I. . .I would have been happy being a scholar for the rest of my life. . .I hate fighting. . .I hate a reminder that I alone have made people suffer. That I have killed innocents. . .separated families. . .that Nataku and I were never close and that I fight to avenge Nataku, cause without a cause I would have died long ago. That if I fight in her name and with her ideals, that maybe I would have been worth something to her. . .>>
Trowa's eyes widened as Wufei spoke. ' I hate fighting' stuck him first. Wufei was probably the best pilot out of all of them. He and Heero were equals, but Wufei was a bit better. A bit faster. To think that he was only fighting half heartedly.'
I alone have made people suffer' Trowa knew that statement. He heard it from Quatre's lips all the time. They all felt guilty, but that was war. . .it happened. And finally ' I fight to avenge Nataku' hit him. "But I thought Meiren. . .Nataku was Meiren's nickname. . .god. He fights for a girl who hated him. He fights for a cause he doesn't believe in. . .god Wufei. . ." And a slight movement caught his eye. Duo was standing there. Wide eyed and upset. Trowa realized Duo had hear the entire conversation.
Duo stood in shock. Wufei had been married. . .Wufei hated fighting. . .Guilt. The word settled on his shoulders. It was guilt in the face of depression.
<<I am not worthy of her. . .>> was Wufei said. Trowa sat in shock. Duo gasped bringing himself to the forefront of the Chinese pilots attention.<<Duo. . .>> Wufei whispered. He didn't want Duo to know. He didn't want. . .arms flew around him.
Trowa smiled and stood up to find the other pilots. These two needed time together. It was going to take a while, but Wufei was opening up to them, and he knew what was wrong now, from there the could help Wufei, he hoped.
<<Maxwell!>> Wufei shouted as he was pulled against the other boy. Then sighed. Maxwell wasn't paying attention. Finally he let his headrest on the other pilot's shoulder. It felt so nice to beheld. Duo was holding him tightly and close and in his strong arms.
"Why didn't you tell me? Don't you understand that I care!! I care about you Wufei!" And Duo pulled back and looked at Wufei in the eyes. He saw the pain, fear, and desire hidden in those orbs of onyx. "Why don't you understand how much. . .I. . .l-" and Duo pressed his lips against Wufei's.

Part Ten

yare, yare it is a short tidbit, more is coming, and hopefully faster than last time...

In My Memory. . ..

"Gomen ne sunao ja nakute
Yume no naka nara ieru
Shikou kairo wa shotto sunzen
Ima sugu aitai yo
Nakitaku naru you-
na Moonlight Denwa mo dekinai
Midnight Datte junjou dou shiyou
Hatto wa mangekyou " <1>

Part 10/?

<<Wufei with no voice speaking>>
//flashback//

//<<Maxwell!>> Wufei shouted as he was pulled against the other boy. Then sighed. Maxwell wasn't paying attention. Finally he let his head rest on the other pilot's shoulder. It felt so nice to be held. Duo was holding him tightly and close and in his strong arms. "Why didn't you tell me? Don't you understand that I care!! I care about you Wufei!" And Duo pulled back and looked at Wufei in the eyes. He saw the pain, fear, and desire hidden in those orbs of onyx. "Why don't you understand how much. . .I. . .l-" and Duo pressed his lips against Wufei's.//
Wufei blinked. He didn't know what to think nor say nor even feel. He never really had been kissed or even in a situation like this. He would have thought all those romance novels he snuck in as a child to read would have helped. But this was duo... duo's lips on his... Duo pulled away with one last tug on Wufei's pouty lips. Sure he knew they would bruise a bit, he had kissed the poor thing very harshly, but he wanted to prove to Wufei he cared. He cared a lot. And judging from that look of pure shock on the other boy's face... "Gomen nasai... " he started.
Wufei didn't react except to bring his fingers to his lips. He was trembling. <<you... demo... you didn't... demo... >> Duo sighed. "Yes. I kissed you. Geez you act like you never been kissed." And he snorted and after a moment turned to look back at the smaller boy.
Wufei still sat in shock and didn't raise his eyes to meet Duo's. he couldn't. he would fall apart, he just meagerly answered, <<no... >>
Duo blinked and lifted the other boys chin, "You have never been kissed before? Like never?" Wufei blinked and shook his head, <<no.>>
Duo still held his look of disbelief, "You have gotta be kidding me!"
Wufei glared at Duo, <<is it that hard to believe?! Look I wasn't raised in an open community. I was raised as a nobleman, a scholar. Taught by seven elders and never saw other people then I was shoved into learning to pilot a Gundam... I didn't have ample time for making out with another person!!>>Duo smiled, "Calm down. Raised as a nobleman, eh?" Wufei blinked.
Duo wrapped his arms around the other boy, "Don't you understand, I am infatuated with you. Every moment, every silent word, every secret smile... " he wrapped his arms around Wufei tightly and placed a kiss on the other boys neck. "I love you."
The words hit him like a sledgehammer for lack of a better description. Hard and heavy and fast and in his confusion he asked, <<how... I am useless... a->>
Duo cut in angrily, "if you say weakling I will personally flog you. What the hell is wrong with you? I cannot believe all you self-assurance was a frickin mask and not real. Why are you like this?"
Wufei sighed, <<I... >>
Then it struck Duo. It made sense, Wufei had admitted to admiring the girl he called Meiren or Nataku. She hated him. "Damn her... "he muttered. A dead girl had her coils in his love and he was going to use every ounce of strength and love he had to make Wufei his. He regarded the small boy on his lap.
"How could she not love you... " he thought. He was slowly learning about his Chinese pilot and most of it he wasn't liking. He wanted to damn that entire colony. "Wufei... "
Wufei looked up slowly to Duo's face, <<Hai?>>
"I think you need to talk to me about your past." Duo stated.
<<please... I can't... >> Wufei whispered softly.
Duo lifted Wufei's chin and brought it to his eye level, "No. you need to talk. You know everything about all of us. I understand you are shy and that's fine. But you need to talk this though. It is better now than latter when you are a complete wreck."
Wufei pushed back, <<I can't! it->>
Duo cut in, "hurts. No kidding and I am sure it always will. But I want to know why you let me in then push me away. What am I doing wrong?"
Wufei sniffled. He could feel the tears, he couldn't but unfortunately Duo was still holding him and it was better than telling all the pilots... <<can we go somewhere else?>>
Duo looked at Wufei, "your bedroom and you better not try, and skid out of this."
Wufei stood and glared at Maxwell, <<do you think I have no honor!?!>> Duo smirked and stood, and tapped the other boy's nose, "no, but you do have masks and I wouldn't put anything past you in this emotional state your in. come on."
Notes:<1>"I'm sorry, I'm not gentle. I can say if it's in my dreams. My thoughts are about to short circuit. Right now, I want to meet! Making me want to cry, moonlight. I can't telephone either, midnight. Because of my naiveté, what will I do? My heart is a kaleidoscope." From Sailor Moon ' Moonlight Densetsu' OP for first 4 seasons.

Part Eleven

In My Memory. . .
by: kc-chan
Part 11/11 (yeah!!i am done!!)

Funny how love is everywhere just look and see
Funny how love is anywhere you're bound to be
Funny how love is every song in every key
Funny how love is coming home in time for tea
Funny funny funny oh
Funny how love is the end of the lies
When the truth begins tomorrow comes
Tomorrow brings tomorrow brings love
In the shape of things
That's what love is that's what love is. . . <1>

<<Wufei with no voice speaking>>
//flashback//

Wufei sat slightly away from the American inside his room. he had never. . . it felt too odd, talking or getting to the nerve to talk. And the kiss. . .kisses were still making his heart flutter with speed.
Duo lead him by his arm and literally sat him on the bed and sat next to him. Leaning slightly on the bed frame and awaiting for Wufei to begin. . .
Wufei sighed and began slowly. . .trying to follow some order and asked, <<Where do. . .What do you want to know. . .?>> perhaps it was easier to just answer questions. . . and not retell every boring aspect of his life.
Duo regarded the boy momentarily and then replied, "you accidentally said you were a nobleman, care to explain?" <2>
Wufei blinked and started after a moment, seeming to pick his words carefully, <<some children are descended from great families. . . I was descended from the Chang clan. My clan was one of the most powerful on L5 and I was the last of the clan that remained, other than my nana. . .but she died shortly after I was. . .brought to. . .the capital to be. . .educated.>>
Duo noticed the deliberate pauses. . .as if Wufei was trying to find better words than what it was. He would let that slide. . . he knew he was asking a lot from Wufei, but if Wufei didn't tell someone. . .anyone. . .he would keep sliding into his depression instead of getting out of it. . .
Duo looked at Wufei, "They took you from your family?"
Wufei focused on a far corner of the wall, he wasn't going to break down, <<I barely remember it. . . I was a child."
Duo scoffed, "and we aren't still? News Wu-kun! We are sixteen! That is still a kid in my book."
Wufei slid his eyes to Duo, <<in your culture yes, in mine a boy becomes a man at twelve. A boy became a man and he was married.>>
Duo blinked in shocked. "You were like married?"
Wufei nodded slowly, <<but you know that already.>>
Duo blushed slightly. "Well, came blame a guy for wanting some info. . . but married?! Hell, most kids don't even know what sex is at that age! I can't believe. . .you and . . .whatever her name was did it at twelve!!"
Wufei glared slightly at him, <<no Maxwell. I was married to Meiren cause it was told we were engaged at birth. We had no choice. We. . . she . . . we were children and no we didn't have sex Maxwell! >>
Duo blushed a little, "hey, can't blame me for asking Wu-man! I mean common!! I was curious!! It sounds weird to me! So you and . . .Meiren get along."
Wufei flitted his eyes back to the wall and somehow found a calmness that swept over him. . . <<We. . . she didn't like me much. We hated each other at first. . . we first met when we six, as I mentioned and well, she didn't like me at all. We came from different backgrounds. She was the last in a line of warriors and she was too proud of that fact. Though my family was of warriors as well, I was not. She resented the fact I was not some fighting and not even close to warrior type. She ended up driving that point to no end. . .>>
Duo mentally cursed her and wondered if from where she was in hell if she knew Wufei was fighting as one of the most elite warriors there was.
Wufei was lost in thought and just let the words come out, unguarded. . . <<she hated me for I was a scholar. I was tested and I believe they estimated I had near genius level mind, so they trained me in every way they could. . . science. . .arts. . .philosophy. . . literature. . .languages. . .mathematics. . .anything. . .literally anything I could get my hands on I devoured with glee. . .>>
Duo watched as some inner light sparked when Wufei talked about his love of books and languages and philosophy. . . he could see the light grow as Wufei began to smile about what he talked about. . . Duo scooted closer finding himself drawn to the Chinese pilot. He made learning seem so amazing. Duo personally hated school, but Wufei made it sound wonderful. . . "But how did you know English? Can you read English?"
Wufei smiled and replied, <<yes, English was my second language.>>
Duo blinked, "second language? Jeez. . . next thing you know you will tell me you speak more than three languages!!" Wufei looked at him. Duo gaped, "you know more than three languages?!?! Man! How many do you know?!?"
Wufei seemed to think a moment. . .<<twelve. . .I think. Maybe a few more.>>
Duo's mouth fell open, "twelve?!?! Man!! You are a genius! But we already knew that!"
Wufei blushed, <<I am not a genius. . .I am far from that Duo. . .>>
Duo laughed, "whatever Wu-man! Twelve is a lot by us mere mortals. . . what languages. . .?"
Wufei paused and began ticking them off, <<Chinese, English, Japanese. . .Cantonese. . . Indonesian. . .Latin. . . French, German, Spanish. . .Russian. . . Arabic. . . Hebrew. . . Tibetan. . . some Greek. . . and a bit of Norwegian.>>
Duo stared at Wufei in complete shock. He didn't really think a person could remember soooo much. Duo laughed and hugged Wufei. "amazing I tell you! So what did Meiren speak?"
Wufei looked at Duo and replied, <<Chinese.>>
Duo replied, "That's it? I mean she married a genius and she never even tried to speak another language? I mean I would have tried to speak at least a few more. . ."
Wufei looked interested, <<what languages do you speak?>>
Duo looked and answered quickly, "English, Japanese, French, German, and Latin. . .little Spanish that I picked up as a kid on the street. . ."
Wufei smiled, <<see? I am not a genius.>>
Duo smiled and asked, "so where is Meiren?" and then added to see if he could get a reaction, "I mean you are a great 'warrior' now... isn't she proud?"
Wufei froze and replied weakly, <<she. . .died.>>
Duo looked at the smaller pilot, "man. . .sumimasen. . .I didn't. . .realize. . ."
Wufei fought back tears and memories, <<she died saving our colony. . . she called her self Nataku and she died. . . she died protecting my field of flowers. . .our colony. . . a colony I allowed to blow itself up!! I watched the entire colony die!! She died in my arms. . .I was too weak. . .too slow. . . to damn proud to protect my colony!! She was always stronger than me! She was always right about me!! I was a fool caught up in my own world. . .>>
Duo choked back a gasp. . .Wufei collapsed into his chest shuddering with his tears. . . crying for everything and giving himself the blame. . . he sat like that until there were n tears left and then they sat in silence until a knock on the door broke the void of temperance. . .
Quatre knocked on the door. . . "um. . .I hate to bother you. . . Wufei, um. . . the scientist who built Shenlong is here. . . and he is waiting in my parlor and are you alright. . .?"
Wufei sat up quickly, wiped tears from his eyes, nodded, and stood up. He wouldn't show weakness in front of the doctor. . .he followed Quatre to the parlor.
Duo sat up slowly. . . "damn him. . ." he hissed. Just when he got through that damned doctor tried to ruin it! He had saw how quickly and easily Wufei slipped his mask back on. . . he glowered and stormed to the parlor, and rounding the last corner he saw the others all standing outside the door with Heero whispering what Duo assumed Wufei was saying. . . "what's going on?"
Quatre replied, "We are not quite sure but. . ."
Duo blinked, "but?"
Trowa glanced over, "a doctor coming out here is not very good. Wufei keeps looking like he will collapse into tears. . ."
Duo replied softly, "oh. . ."
In the parlor, Wufei wanted to die. The Doctor was questioning his ability to pilot his Nataku... <<I just lost my voice... Sally believes it is temporary... it is nothing!!!>>
The doctor glared at him, "you are still injured and from the looks of it were crying. I don't want some emotionally impaired pilot flying my machine. The doctors and I are already searching for another pilot. . ."
"damn him!!" Quatre hissed earning him some looks of shock. "damn him for doing this to Wufei!! Wufei is a wonderful pilot and this stress isn't going to help that. . .that. . . fucking bastard!"
Duo's jaw dropped, Heero fell over in shock and Trowa widened an eye and softly asked, "what?"
Quatre blushed, "sorry. . . I lost my temper. . ."
Duo coughed, "well, welcome to the world of swearing. . . about time- hey!" he rubbed his ribs where Heero had elbowed him. "Nani?"
Heero silenced them and watched Wufei's mouth move and slowly they all turned and watched. . ..
"So if you are not fully recovered in a week, we will replace you. I am sure you understand as a pilot." The doctor finished. . .
Wufei stood. . .his loose hair shading his eyes and he was visibly trembling from anger, humiliation, and just plain frustration. . . his eyes met the doctors, <<fine! I never wanted to fight anyway!! You were the ones who dragged me into training!!! I wanted nothing to do with the damn war! Fuck you all!!>> and he took towards his bedroom, completely missing the fact the other boys were sitting there in shock or had literally understood ever word that had escaped from his lips. . .
Quatre glared at him and went to open his mouth but the doctor stopped him before he got a word in, "you all as pilots should understand that. This is a war, not some traipse through high school. We need warriors not emotionally wired brats. I will show myself out." And he left the boys gaping in the doorjamb. . .
"Wufei. . ." Duo's whisper broke the silence and he paused and broke out into a dead run towards the Chinese pilots room. He was going to prove to Wufei that he wasn't unwanted. . .that he was loved and that they needed him as a teammate and no one else. . .
Duo slammed into Wufei's door, ramming it open with a twist of a knob, slammed it, and stalked over to where Wufei was sobbing on the bed.
Duo grabbed him and shouted at him, "you listen to me and you listen to me now! We will not have any one join this team!!! You are our friend and I love you damn it!!! And I will prove that to you and you are such an idiot if you believed one word that asshole said!! We will not let that happen and I won't let you believe you are worthless. . . you asshole!! I love you!" and with that Duo firmly pressed his tongue and lips against the smaller boy's lips.
Duo's hands quickly took off his own shirt and Wufei's and pressed Wufei on the bed. Wufei stared at Maxwell and slowly pressed his lips against Duo's and with that moment Duo burst and gently made love to Wufei. . ..<3>

<1> Funny How Love Is (Freddie Mercury) Queen
<2> kinda taken from what I assumed he was in the manga. . . I have heard others mention it and here comes the exfoliated part. . .
<3>and you can insert a lovely lemon scene. . .

Epilogue. . .

Wufei lay cuddled in Duo's arms. . .he felt alive and bursting with happiness, something he only used to dream about. He didn't have to open his eyes to even realize duo was holding him. . .
"Mmmmm. . .Duo. . .." Wufei whispered in his dreams in his sleep.
Duo blinked at the sound of his name and untangled himself and looked up, and looked confused. . . "I swore someone called my name. . ." he looked down at his lover and beloved and kissed those pouty and adorable lips, "Love you, Wu-kun. . ."
Wufei muttered in his sleep, "Love you too. . .Duo. . ." and rolled over.
Duo sat in shock. "You didn't. . .I must have heard wrong. . ." and he started to shake Wufei.
Wufei woke with a start, "Duo-?"
Duo shouted for joy and hugged Wufei tightly.
"Nani- Duo?" then it slowly hit him. . . and he whispered, "Am. . .my voice. . ."
Duo chuckled, "Say my name. . .koi. . ."
Wufei looked at Duo and said, "Duo. . .why?"
Duo laughed, "I just wanted to hear it from your lips. . .Do you even know how much more efficient we are at reading lips now?!"
Wufei glared, "Duo!"
Duo threw his boxers on and flung open the door and screamed down the hall, "Wufei GOT HIS VOICE BACK!!!!!!"
Two doors opened and three heads blearily looked out as duo was now cuddling Wufei, also in boxers, begging him to say words.
"Congrats. . .Wu-kun." Quatre yawned. . .
"Great. . ." mumbled Heero. . . "I guess we are up now. . . I'll go make coffee. . ."
Trowa yawned and draped his arm over his lover's shoulder. . . and then took a picture, "Won't they be surprised at the end of the war. . ."
Quatre leaned back against Trowa, "I think things can only get better now, love. . ."
They watched Wufei giggle as Duo tickled him from the same spot he had found in the garden a few months ago. . . And Wufei realized. . .he didn't feel alone anymore. . . that he actually had been accepted into the little family they were without even trying. . .
"Love you. . ." duo whispered into his ear.
"Love you too. . ." Wufei whispered back. . . and allowed Duo to pull him towards the kitchen. . .after all, he was part of their lives now. . .
"He seems to be adjusted to us. . ." Trowa whispered to Quatre as they trailed the two pilots heading towards Heero's coffee.
"About damn time. . ." Quatre said.
"My, my. . . have we developed a mouth. . ." Trowa said.
"Wanna clean it out?" Quatre asked blinking innocently.
"Anytime. . ." and Trowa kissed Quatre and then quickly caught up to duo who decided it was easier to just carry Wufei to the kitchen with Wufei laughing and squirming all the way. . ..

End. . .