Warnings: Shounen-ai and silliness.

Notes: This is another of those short stories I've been contemplating. In this, Wufei and Duo have still been married for a year and live on Earth. Wufei works for the Preventers, and Duo runs a salvage yard. This doesn't really take place after the first fic, 'The Perfect Night', but if you wanted a better idea of what their house looked like, or want to see something I mentioned in it, you'd find it in that fic. ^^

Disclaimer: I don't own GW or the G-boys! If I could get Sotsu to sell them to me, I'd share them, I swear! ::grins:: In any case, I don't make any moolah off this. I just get to have some fun! Loads and loads of fun.

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Brows turning slightly inward, Wufei regarded the label on the box with mild consternation. If he didn't notice the things his husband shoveled into his mouth, no one would. Regardless of what Duo claimed to the contrary, all that junk food _would_ catch up with him some day. As his spouse, Wufei felt it was his responsibility to make certain that didn't happen. That meant that he severely limited the amount of sugary products Duo consumed in a day. He couldn't control what the American ate while at work, but he could control the amount of fattening foods he allowed into the house. As long as he got his daily 'dose', as Duo called it, then he was happy enough. Wufei could live with this also, if it meant Duo wouldn't be snacking on such things as cupcakes, candybars, and high-cholesterol chips in large quantities.

Wufei had confiscated this box from under the bed.

Weekends meant time off, which meant getting caught up on the cleaning that eluded him during the week. That usually consisted of dusting under the beds, tables, and pictures. Duo tended to dust around things, but never under them. It would have driven Wufei insane, if it hadn't been for the fact that he loved Duo for even trying.

His husband and dust seemed to have a pact. They could co-exist happily, so long as Duo didn't see it. As it stood, he and dust did not have that same agreement. Dust was dust, whether you could see it or not, and there was no way he was living with it. Certainly not when it carried all those mites and other particles that caused sickness.

Since this box was half-eaten, and the date was fairly recent, that meant Duo was straying from his self-imposed diet. Well, not entirely self-imposed. Wufei had brought it up, and Duo had agreed readily enough. After a few hours of whining, that was. But it was for the better. If they ate healthy, and exercised regularly, they had a greater chance of prolonging their life. While admittedly, Wufei's reasons were partly selfish, they really were in Duo's best interests. He wanted them both to live side by side until they were nearly too old to see one another, much less move. He did not want to imagine a future without Duo. If it took constant vigilance on his part, then it was well worth it. So long as Duo followed him into their geriatric years.

Sometimes, however, Wufei admitted, as he straightened and set the chocolate gram crackers aside, he wondered if it wasn't going to be Duo's unsteady diet that did him in, but his recklessness. The way Duo tore around in his car, you would think it had two wheels and a 400 horsepower engine. For that matter, the way Duo did anything, you would think he had nine lives. Or perhaps, his days spent as Shinigami had left Death somewhat fond of him. In either case, there were moments Wufei was tempted to lock Duo in their room and never let him out. This, obviously, was the downside to loving someone. No matter how much you worried, or wished it, you couldn't possibly follow your spouse everywhere.

Although it was tempting...

Duo's spirit, however, was a large part of the reason Wufei loved him. It was such a sharp contrast to his own caution, that in his mind, they balanced one another out. Naturally, it had not always seemed this way. Getting used to Duo had taken some time and patience on Wufei's part. But there was no doubt now that Duo had worked his way into his heart, and had no intentions of leaving any time soon. Not that Wufei would wish for it to be any other way. Duo was as much a part of him now as his own identity was. Living without him was not an option he was willing to consider, regardless of what happened.

Carrying his cold mug of tea over to the sink, he dumped the contents out, while holding the bag in place with his thumb. When it was drained, he threw the tea bag itself away and made certain to wash the mug out so that it wouldn't stain. There was another thing Duo was notorious for; leaving his coffee sitting in the nice, white mugs they had gotten as wedding presents from Sally Po. The rings around the cups were hell to get out... As a matter of fact, he was still scouring the shelves of the local grocery store in search of something that would get rid of the brown film. He had yet to find it. And he had half a mind to tell Duo to buy new ones out of _his_ spending money.

Frowning, he glanced at the clock. It was well past noon. Duo was supposed to be back from getting lunch over a half an hour ago. Not that he was worried. His husband tended to get distracted and lose track of time. If he hadn't been in the process of cleaning the shower in the guest bathroom, he would have went with. At the moment, he was looking forward to a nice afternoon spent on the couch, talking and eating. He was starving, and he was somewhat tired. Chasing away dust, and cleaning all the rooms could do that to a person. If Duo hadn't used getting lunch as an excuse to escape, Wufei would have had more help. If he hadn't been starving, with no inclination at all to cook, Duo never would have gotten away with it.

Tapping his fingers on the kitchen counter (the sparkling _clean_ kitchen counter) he murmured, "Stop fooling around, Duo. I'm starved..." Stretching his arms over his head, he reached back to absently scratch at his neck. His fingers brushed the length of his queue, and he smiled absently as he remembered Duo's comment in the midst of lovemaking. His husband liked it down. For the most part, that was impractical. But now that the cleaning was taken care of, and he had no work do to, it couldn't hurt to let it out. Wufei liked the soft light of appreciation that came into Duo's eyes when he did...

Without giving this further thought, he pulled the band out and let it fall around his face. Pushing strands from his eyes, he walked on silent, bare feet into the living room, surveying his work with a satisfied air. The room was done in warm tones, and it was as clean as if no one had ever lived in it before. Duo always said that it bothered him. When he walked through a room as immaculate as this, he felt the need to mess it up in some way, so that it wouldn't feel like a museum, but rather, like home. And Wufei, who couldn't stand mess, would walk right behind him and pick it all up again. What a pair they made.

Sinking onto the couch, he relaxed completely, resting against the cushion behind his head. This couch was very comfortable. He was grateful each time he sat on it, that he had allowed Duo to talk him into purchasing it. It made a wonderful place to take a nap as well. He couldn't count the many times he had fallen asleep on a Sunday afternoon, reading a book. Or the many times Duo would wake him up from those naps with a very nice, warm kiss. He was half-way tempted to take a nap now, if only to receive the same treatment. But he knew he didn't need to resort to such trickery to get affection from his husband. For him, Duo was very free with his love.

Opening one eye, Wufei found his moment of rest interrupted when the sudden need to rearrange the towel closet attacked. They had to be stacked according to their colors, and Duo always mixed them up. [1] It drove him crazy. It looked far more neat when they were arranged in equal piles of the same color. There was something very satisfying about opening the closet and seeing that. Organization was the key to a stable life. If he had wanted to keep it that way, however, he never would have married Duo. That man had chaos stamped all over him. And cleaning up after his messes was exasperating, yet fulfilling. Wufei had never, and would never, profess to understand the concept of love.

The growl of an engine sounded into his thoughts.

Duo was home.

Smiling, he wondered, if not for the first time, how the neighborhood put up with that monster his husband called a car.

A few minutes passed, and Duo still hadn't shown up at the front door.

Glancing toward it, Wufei now wondered what was taking Duo so long. It should have been a simple matter to gather the take-out up and come into the house. But then, with Duo, nothing was ever simple.

He was in the process of rising from the couch to find out, when the door was thrown open and Duo bounced in with his usual enthusiasm. That, in itself, was not unusual. What was, was the fact that Duo had food balanced in one arm, and a baby in the other.

"Hey, Wu! I'm home!"

Wufei stared at him.

"Oh yeah," Duo continued conversationally as he headed for the kitchen, not seeming to mind at all that the baby was yanking on his braid, " sorry it took so long. I stopped off at an adoption agency along the way. Meet Wufei Junior!"

Wufei would have choked had he been able to find his voice.

Duo stared at him for a full second before he burst out laughing. "Oh man, you should see yourself! The look on your face is priceless!"

"Duo..." Wufei managed, in that tone that said Duo had better start explaining, and fast.

Still amused, Duo bounced the baby, letting the diaper bag slide off his shoulder and onto the counter top. If he lived to be a hundred, he would never forget the absolute look of sheer terror on Wufei's face when he made the announcement. It was a definite moment for the photo albums. It was too bad he didn't carry a camera with him wherever he went. Getting Wufei to make such outrageous faces wasn't something even _he_ saw everyday. It would have been hilarious to look back on, and even better to pass around during holiday parties. Not that Wufei would appreciate it. But that was half the fun.

"Seriously, Wu, I didn't really adopt this baby."

"Then where did you get it?" Wufei asked, carefully enunciating every word.

Duo made a face. "It isn't an 'it', Wufei, it's a 'he'. And I promised Quatre's sister we'd baby-sit."

Wufei folded his arms. "Which one?"

He opened his mouth, only to shut it again. What was the name again?

"Uh... you know, I can't remember. But she said she'd be back in two hours at the most."

Wufei resisted the urge to sigh. Obviously, Duo had no concept of just how taxing taking care of a young child could be. For that matter, neither did he. He did know it required a great deal of energy, and here he was looking forward to relaxing for the rest of the day...

"When were you planning on telling me this?"

Duo grinned. "Wufei, we're baby-sitting for Quatre's sister."

"Very amusing," his husband returned dryly.

Duo shifted, and Wufei found himself distracted by the smell of food.

"I got egg rolls," Duo informed him proudly.

Shaking his head, Wufei eyed him. "Do you even have the slightest idea what taking care of a child entails?"

Holding the baby up in front of him, Duo wiggled him.

"Nope! But we can learn, can't we Nathan!" He cooed, earning a delighted reply from the baby. Or, at least, Wufei _thought_ it sounded delighted...

"Duo, if you ever think before you do something, it would astound me," Wufei muttered crossly, stalking the length of the kitchen to start pulling the food from the bags.

Sticking his tongue out at Wufei on the pretense of amusing Nathan, Duo spun around, finding that baby liked that even more than being bounced. He couldn't see why Wufei was so uptight about watching a baby for a couple of hours. How difficult could that be? They only had to keep him entertained, and it wasn't as if it was for an entire day or something. They had nothing else to do with their time on Sunday, except sit around the house. Since Quatre's sister (whose name _still_ escaped him) had been in need of a baby-sitter and hadn't been able to find anyone, Duo was only too happy to volunteer.

They were already getting along well. It was his opinion that Wufei merely needed to hold the baby and bond with him a bit. It would be impossible, even for his unmovable husband, to remain untouched by such a cute face. Babies were easily the most loveable things in the world. They were cute, cuddly, and they smelled good. Three things that rated high in his book. Besides, Duo figured that something as small as this could hardly be cause for a crisis. They had once been Gundam pilots for Heaven's sake. If they could handle those huge monsters with ease, surely they could manage one tiny baby.

He could tell by the stiff set of Wufei's shoulders, however, that the Chinese wasn't going to forgive him easily. Or at least, that was what _Wufei_ thought. Duo was very good at getting his husband to forget he was angry with him. A few miserable expressions, some minor pouting, and a few profuse apologies, and he was well on his way to getting back into Wufei's good graces. It _was_ genuine, however. He was just quite good at taking it to the extreme. Besides, he had never heard Wufei complaining. Which meant he didn't have to feel the slightest bit guilty.

"Wufei, Nathan wants to see you."

"Duo, I don't think-" but that was as far as he got before the baby was shoved unceremoniously into his arms.

Holding the child gingerly in his arms, Wufei stared into the innocent, unblinking, blue eyes. They were so similar to Quatre's, that he almost found himself charmed. He was on the verge of smiling, when Nathan reached out and grabbed two fistfuls of his hair, yanking for all he was worth. Wufei's eyes narrowed. On second thought...

In the process of opening a carton of food, Duo caught the scene, and found it wildly hilarious. So he wasn't he only one that found Wufei's glares less than intimidating, if the way Nathan was babbling on happily, jerking Wufei's hair all the while, was any indication. He really had to get that camera...

"Duo, if you do not take this child, I will never wear my hair unbound again."

Given the clipped tone, Duo didn't doubt it.

Dropping the carton, he detangled Nathan's smalls hands and spirited him away. "Don't worry Nate, Wufei isn't always so grumpy. Just when he hasn't had his nap."

"I am seconds away from giving _you_ a permanent nap..."

"Such threats! It's a good thing my husband isn't abusive," Duo confided in Nathan. "Hey, Wufei, will you get the highchair? I left it on the front porch because I couldn't carry it in."

Giving Duo a baleful look, Wufei left the kitchen without saying a word.

"Do you think he's pissed? I think he's pissed," he decided, offering Nathan his braid to pull on while he took plates from the cupboard and began dishing out portions.

Nathan voiced his agreement loudly, displaying one infant-sized tooth.

"Impressive. You'll be getting a visit from the Tooth Fairy in no time."

Wufei paused, watching the scene of domestic bliss from the doorway. Despite his displeasure, he couldn't help but be captivated by the ease with which Duo bustled around the kitchen, a baby balanced on one hip as he filled plates with food. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all. Between the two of them, they ought to be able to take care of one small child for the duration of two hours. Although, Wufei fully intended to pull his hair back before going near the little hellion again.

Duo caught him watching them and smiled. Wufei always liked to act more put out than he really was. By now, he had grown used to the signs of true anger. At the moment, Wufei was only mildly irked. Something that was easily reversible, and wouldn't last forever. In truth, they rarely stayed angry with each other for long. It was only natural that two people living together were going to get on each other's nerves from time to time. They had their spats, where words flew, voices rose, and doors slammed. But in the end, they always remembered why it was they had married each other.

"Thanks, babe. Just set it over by the table," Duo said, waving his arm in the general direction.

Wufei sighed. If he ever managed to stay angry with Duo for more than an hour, it would be a miracle.

The table was set, and Nathan was secured into his highchair with little problem. Duo managed to find a bib in the diaper bag, though he put it on backward, and Wufei, ever the anal one, adjusted it the right way. They dug into their plates with enthusiasm, and noted that Nathan did the same, though his coordination wasn't good enough yet for spoons. He ate with his hands. Which was fine, really. They could just clean him up afterward. With pieced up egg rolls, a few cookies, and a tippy cup of juice, things were looking very good.

That was, until a stray piece of food soared through the air and hit Wufei in the side of the head.

Nathan was very pleased with himself. So pleased, that he did it again.

Wufei was not pleased. "Duo..."

"What? I think it's kinda cute."

His husband made a sound that could only be labeled as negative.

Shortly thereafter, Duo took a good look at Nathan. He had cookies smashed all over in his hair, egg rolls in his eyebrows, and juice had dribbled down his chin, missed his bib, and stained the collar of his shirt. In short, he was a mess.

"Wow... he makes a bigger mess than I do!" Duo voiced, sounding impressed.

"I just cleaned this kitchen. There is food all over the floor..." Wufei said tightly, setting his fork aside.

"You can just clean it again, can't he Nate?"

The glare Wufei directed toward Duo was not hard to interpret.

Rather than answer it, Duo decided that Nathan had wasted too much of his food for recreational purposes.

He held up a jar of baby food he found while rummaging through the diaper bag. "Maybe we should feed him this...?"

"Why are you asking me? I am not an expert on babies," Wufei snapped.

Grimacing, Duo opened the jar, retrieved a spoon, and attempted to feed Nathan. For his efforts, he soon found himself splattered from nearly head to toe in green peas. Wufei, who happened to be passing to put his plate in the sink, got hit by a stray blow when the baby turned his head to watch the Chinese man go by. Duo, naturally, found this amusing, while Wufei did not.

"I think we need to give him a bath."

"Duo, I am not giving him a bath," Wufei returned, folding his arms.

Effecting his most pitiful expression, Duo cajoled, "Come on, Wufei. I can't do it all by myself! I've never given a baby a bath before."

Wufei smirked.

"No rude comments, please," he added briskly, unstrapping the now completely soiled baby.

So it was, Wufei found himself following Duo up the stairs, a diaper bag draped over his shoulder. The peace and quiet he had been looking forward to as he ate his lunch was now a distant dream, and the last remaining hour seemed too far off to count on. Babies were certainly more trouble than they were worth. How anyone could handle them full time was beyond him.

While Duo took care of the water, careful not to get it too hot, Wufei was given the task of relieving Nathan of his clothing. Soon after, they plunged a wriggling mess of pink baby into the bath water, where he immediately began splashing happily, drenching both Wufei and Duo, who were bent over the edge.

"Duo..."

He grinned. "Lighten up! This is fun."

Fun. Of course Duo would consider this fun.

"Here, pass me the shampoo."

Wufei frowned. "You can't put our shampoo in a baby's hair."

"No, I mean the stuff in the diaper bag."

Wufei pulled it out. "It says it's a body wash and shampoo all in one."

Of course Wufei read everything before he used it.

"Pass it over!"

Duo lathered Nathan up until he looked suitably clean. Then, despite the fact that Wufei had professed to have nothing to do with this, he found himself being directed on the best way to wash the soap off.

"Since when were you an expert on babies?" Duo asked, as he wrapped the damp child up in a towel.

Wufei looked indignant. "I am not."

"Could have fooled me," the American returned with a grin, as they carried the bundled baby downstairs.

By the time they had him dressed and playing happily on the floor, the two hours were nearly up. Which relieved Wufei, as he had been up and down so many times now he had lost count. Everything within reach was something to be chewed on. The things this child would stick in his mouth... It defied logic. But then, he was learning, children didn't make very much sense.

Saving a candle, Wufei raised it over his head and eyed Duo down the length of his nose. "Never again, Duo, will you watch a child on our day off. This is not relaxation."

Duo, who was sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch, for once, agreed. "Gotcha, Wu."

Nathan crawled into his lap and started yanking on his braid.

"Hey kid, do you think you can let up for a bit?"

"It is your own fault," Wufei informed him smugly.

Rather than answer, Duo made a face, raising the baby and holding him at arm's length. "Hey Wufei, take him. He stinks."

"What am I supposed to do with him?"

Duo looked hopeful. "Change his diaper?"

"You owe me Duo."

The grin that lit up his face was angelic.

"You will refrain from eating chocolate gram crackers for a week."

Duo grimaced.

"Oh... uh, I was just..." he trailed off, lacking an excuse.

"Sharing them with the dust?" Wufei supplied, as he pulled out what he thought was a diaper.

"What dust?" Duo asked innocently.

Wufei eyed him blandly, reaching for Nathan.

"Hey, Wufei, let's adopt ten of these, okay?"

On his husband's indelicate sputtering, Duo laughed.

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[1] If you think this isn't possible, meet my mom. Oo;; Her towels have to be stacked in a pattern of green and yellow, have to be facing the same way, and have to be neat. For some reason, this struck me as something Wufei'd do too.