Part 10
Wufei was dead.
At least that was what they told him.
// “I am sorry.” Quatre looked at him with teary eyes. “Duo, please don’t be sad. He died fulfilling his destiny.”//
Don’t be sad? “Yeah, right!” He snarled. He told them to get lost and leave him alone. There was nothing to keep him going if Wufei was gone. But, somehow, deep in his heart, he refused to believe that. **He will come back**, he told himself, over and over.
He waited. In their room. He didn’t take any food, he didn’t let out a word; he just sat on the bed and waited. Either he was waiting for Wufei to come back or waiting for death to claim him, no one was certain.
Then, on the 3rd night, a shadow appeared outside of the window.
“Duo…” It whispered.
“Wufei? Is that you?” Duo shot up from the spot he had sat until he nearly grew roots.
“Come no closer. I had passed away. I don’t belong to this world anymore. You must move on.”
“OH? So you are Wufei’s ghost?” Duo asked.
“Hm… Yes. I am Wufei’s ghost.” The ghost hesitated slightly before confirming his identity.
“I don’t believe you. Come inside.”
“NO! A ghost cannot enter a living’s room.” The ghost shook his head.
“Ha! Fine. Then I am not talking to you.” Duo ignored the ghost and went back to where he was, muttering underneath his breath, “For all I know, you might be Quatre pretending to be Wufei’s ghost, trying to get me to eat once again!”
“I sounded nothing like Quatre!” Duo paid no attention to the ghost’s cry of indignation.
Obviously debating over something, finally the ghost yielded, “Alright. I will come inside. But only for you to see with your own eyes who I am.”
The ghost entered Duo’s room. It was dark, but under the pale moonlight, it was unmistakably Wufei in his white traditional flimsy outfit. His eyes sad as he let Duo looked him over, “You see, I am not lying to you. I am Wufei’s ghost.”
“So I see. What is your message to me then?”
The ghost seemed to be heart broken. He chewed his lips softly, “Duo, you have to take care of yourself. You still have a life to go on, although I am no longer in it with you. Please, find somebody else to love. Don’t make me pass into the other realm worrying about you.”
“No.” Duo refused without a thought.
“Duo,” the ghost tried to reason with him, “I am already dead. There’s no point for you to think about me anymore…”
“I will kill myself too. Then I will be a ghost like you. We can be together.” Duo was stubborn when he chose to be.
“No!” The voice was harsh. That was the last thing the ghost wanted! He must think of something, “Duo, you would not be with me even if you killed yourself.”
“Why not?”
“Because … because…” **Think of a reason quick!** the ghost scolded himself, **Ah yes!**, “Because I’m Chinese. I will be going to a different place.”
“Oh really?” Duo arched both his eyebrows, “So the final resting place of spirits is divided according to racial difference?”
“No… yes… Ah… Just believe me when I said we won’t be together, OK?” The ghost sighed.
There was no reply. The ghost walked closer to the bed, wanting to see the expression on Duo’s face. Without any warning, he was tackled from behind and pushed onto the bed.
“Eh~ DUO!” The ghost screamed.
“Hehe~ Looks like sneaking up on people is still my specialty. My skill even outruns a ghost’s!” Duo grinned.
“Ah~ Get off me! It’s bad luck to have contact with a ghost. It will be harmful to your health!” The ghost wriggled, trying to convince the other boy to let him up.
“No can do.” Duo refused, “By the way, you feel pretty warm and solid to be a spirit, don’t you think?” Duo’s hands started feeling and molesting the ghost’s flesh, “Isn’t that against the legend and myths?” Duo asked teasingly.
“The stupid stories for scaring onnas are mistaken! Trust me, I am a ghost, I KNOW!” The last word sounded one octave higher as Duo’s hand moved lower to the ghost’s waist and started tickling him.
“I never know that ghost are ticklish.” Duo murmured.
“Well… haha… I’m ticklish … hahaha… while alive, so… ha.. haha… the same for my …SPIRIT! Stop!…Haha~~” The ghost struggled to get words out through his laughter.
Duo showed no sign of stopping.
“Please … hahaha… Duo… I’m… haha…begging… ha… you.” More tickling. More laugher.
“Al…haha…right, I am … ha.. Not …ha…a …hahaha… ghost!”
The tickling stopped in a pause. The hands that just tortured Wufei mercilessly now held him gently. Wufei sighed.
“Wufei, why didn’t you come back to me?”
“ How can I?” Wufei asked instead, his voice cracked. He should never have come. He lowered his head and hoped a hole opened up from the ground and swallowed him.
“Please tell me. Fei. I know you love me. Everything is back to normal, why wouldn’t you come back to me?”
“Everything? Back to normal? NO!” Wufei shook violently. “I am not what I used to be. I … I am… I am dirty!”
“What are you talking about?” Duo’s voice was soothing, loving.
“HOW DO YOU THINK I MANAGED TO DESTROY HIM?” Wufei yelled at the top of his lung, then like a flattened balloon he continued, “I seduced him. He had to change to mortal form if he wanted to engage in sexual activities! That’s how…I, … I slept with him…”
“Shh…” Duo brought Wufei’s hands up tenderly and kissed his palms. “Nothing you do will ever change my love for you. You did what you have to, in order to stop him. To save us, save the world, save the colonies, saved ME. I love you.”
“You shouldn’t!” Wufei argued. No no no no no. Duo shouldn’t. Duo deserved much better. **Don’t say things that I know you are going to regret later. I don’t want to see the disgust in your beautiful eyes when we made love. Not now. Not ever. Stop saying you love me. Because if you continue saying that, I will believe it, and I won’t be able to leave…**
“Why? You know I don’t lie.”
“I am filthy, disgusting, revolting, repulsive, stomach-turning!” Wufei pulled back his hands, trying to struggle out of Duo’s embrace. “I am serious!” Wufei screamed when Duo wouldn’t let go off him. **Why can’t he understand! Let go! He shouldn’t be touching me…**
“Be still!” Duo shouted, and the boy in his arms became motionless. “Alright, you wouldn’t believe me when I say I love you, when I said THAT changes nothing. FINE. I will tell you a story. You sit still and listen.” He pinned Wufei to his spot with a glare.
“Years ago, there was a young boy. He didn’t know who his parents were. He grew up on the streets. There were other poor little kids that he tried to take care of. He became a thief in order to provide for those even less fortunate than him. Most of the time what he stole was enough to maintain their survival. Then, one long hopeless winter, he failed. He couldn’t find enough food, and there’s nothing that could ensure their survival through the bitter cold. Two little ones were sick, really sick,” tears rolled down from Duo’s cheeks, “they needed doctor and medicine. Ha? Where is he supposed to find medicine when he couldn’t even get them food? He knocked on doors after doors, but nobody would help. Finally, he came to the giant mansion of a famous doctor. The doctor took one look at him, and wanted to make a deal with him. What could a rich doctor be interested from a little thief like him?” The tears on Duo’s face had dried.
Wufei opened his mouth but no words came out.
“His body. The doctor would give him medicine and money, if he agreed to sleep with him. Be his sex toy. To save the kids, the boy took the deal.” Finally looking at Wufei, Duo asked sullenly, “So, I guess you considered the boy dirty, huh? Selling his body like that…”
“NO!” Wufei screamed, shaking his head like a falling leaf. That was Duo’s childhood? “Oh Duo, I have no idea,” He hugged Duo closed to him.
“Now you know. How can you bare to touch me?” Duo asked softly.
“Do you think I would care because some jerk forced you into sex? If anything, knowing your painful past only make me love you more!” Wufei cried out.
“Then why do you think so little of me?” Duo asked fiercely, “Why do you think my love for you would reduce because of what happened.”
“But…But…” Wufei was stunned speechless.
“No more buts.” Duo touched Wufei’s cheeks gently. “If you can accept me, then you have to let me accept you. No double standard here.”
For 3 minutes Wufei was totally unreadable in the darkness. Then, a small smile of hope appeared on his face, “Duo, I cannot promise everything will be fine instantly. There will always be difference between us, and the past… it may not release its grip that easily. But I am not giving up!”
“That’s all I asked, Fei. Stayed with me, and built OUR future.”
Wufei inclined his head, and the pale moonlight shone on his face. So many emotions that cannot be described with words crossed his features; self-pity, adoration, fear, gratitude, trust and finally, all these emotions dispersed into one, love.
“I love you, Duo.”
“Love you back, Fei.”
There were no more walls between them.
