Gary: I just got out of the hospital!! Why is she writing these things so $&*^$%#&^%*& fast?!!?

Hotaru: She's on a roll.

Gary: Yay. As if she didn't torture me enough last time.

Hotaru: ~monotone~ Well, today she's doing an experiment.

Gary: ~suspiciously~ Like what?

Hotaru: ~monotone~ She'll see how many people get pi$$ed off if we declare today "Gary Appreciation Day" and do nothing to you.

Gary: WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Hotaru: Oh-- Da*n! I can't say anything to you!!

Gary: ~Anime sobs~ This is my dream come true! Bow before me!

Hotaru: @&^%&^@$^&$%@^@!$*&(^#%#&^%^!!!!!!!!! I don't give a DAMN if it's "Gary Appreciation Day"!!!!!! There is no way in HELL I am BOWING to that piece of--Damn!

Gary: Hey, you're breaking the censor law!!!!

Hotaru: Guess what?!! I don't give a da*n!!!!!!

Gary: Oh, there it is. ~happily~ You're gonna be punished for this!

Hotaru: Dammit!!!!!!!!!! Go to--DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!

Gary: ~smart-alecky~ Temper, temper!

Hotaru: ARRGH!!!!!

Gary: Now I want Jupiter to come beat YOU up!

Hotaru: ~has had enough~ I have had ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~eyes glow~

Gary: ~recognizes it from Sabrina~ Oh sh*t...

Hotaru: ETERNAL SATURN POWER, MAKE UP!!!!!! ~turns into Sailor Saturn~

Saturn: Ha ha!!! My contract only says 'Hotaru'!!! I can do whatever I want!!!!!!!!

Gary: Hotaru, be a nice girl and bow.

Saturn: Make me, bakayaro.

Gary: Maybe I will!

Saturn: Oh yeah? Silence wall!!!!

~box forms around Gary~

Saturn: ~to Gary, who we cannot hear~ As it is "Gary Appreciation Day", I will not smash you into a bloody pulp. I will even let you do the intro.

Gary: ~sign language~ Da*n! I hate that!

Saturn: ~coldly~ Live with it. ~cheerfully~ And now, on with the show!

Gary: Let's make this fast... It's rated R, We all hate it, and _SHE_ owns Pokemon.

Saturn: I _KNEW_ I couldn't trust you with this!!! It's rated _PG_, It seems to be popular, and she does NOT own Pokemon. ~under her breath~ How stupid do you have to be to get that wrong?

Gary: Hey!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Anyone: ~Bows down to Gary~ You are my master.

Ash: I will accomplish my dream ... to join the circus!!!!!!!

Ash: Roast Pikachu, anyone?...

Ash: W-well, everyone turn out your pockets. Ladies, turn out your purses. Whoever has the gun shot her.

Wodsworth: I shot her.

Everyone: YOU?

Wodsworth: Yes. I am Giovanni.

Brock: ~runs to a door~ Wait! Then who did I kill?

Wodsworth: My butler.

Brock: Aw, nuts.

Wodsworth: ~motions Brock back to group with gun~ I am very grateful to you for disposing of my network of spies and informants.

Misty: Wait a sec! I _KNEW_ this was familiar!! We're in that movie, "Clue"!

Ash and Brock: Oh.

~a portal appears~

Ash: By the way, who really did it? And who am I, really?

Misty: Everyone but you did it. You work for the FBI. And you're straight.

Brock: Phew!

Ash: ~as they disappear into portal~ I _told_ you I didn't do it.

Misty's voice: Oh, shut up.

(AN: If you've seen Clue, you get it. If you don't... I'll work on a full-length one. Maybe I'll actually finish it.)

Ash: Hey Misty, what was your dad's surname?

Misty: Ummmm... Anderson. Why?

Ash: I knew it! We're related!!

Misty: And today, we have a feast to celebrate the success of Gary Oak!!! His best friend will now speak and tell us of Gary's accomplishments.

Gary: Yes, yes, thank you!!...

Misty: What's that?

Ash: Houou, my new Pokemon. Stupid thing didn't want to be captured.

Misty: Ash, it isn't funny.

Ash: I knew it!! Tell Gary that his direction sucks!! Take two!!

Misty: What's that?

Ash: Magikarp, my strongest Pokemon!!

James: Ha! That thing? ~kicks it~

Magikarp: ~evolves~

Misty: DAMMIT JAMES!!! You should NEVER kick Pokemon! It just makes them evolve!! Wait a sec... Could you kick my Psyduck?

Ash: ~being chased around by Gyrados~ AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

James: I dunno...

Misty: I'll give you twenty bucks!

Jessie: Psst! James! She's desperate! Milk her for every penny!!

Ash: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

James: I'm sorry, I can't take that small an amount.

Misty: Why not?!

James: Uh, uh... I have a family to feed!!

Misty: Got together with Jessie?

James: Well, we've been married a year tomorrow.

Misty: Aww, how sweet!

Ash: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Jessie: How did she know I was...

James: You ARE??? Oh, Jess! ~hugs her~

Misty: I'm happy for you! Unfortunately, I only have twenty bucks.

Jessie: Da*n!

Ash: HEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Misty: Start a business! "The J&J Pokemon Evolution Company"!

Jessie: How?

Misty: James has a gift like that. Show her! ~takes out Psyduck~

James: Ok... ~kicks it~

Psyduck: Psy! ~evolves~

Golduck: Gol! ~hugs James, then Misty~

Jessie: Wow, it works!

Meowth: I wonder what would happen if he kicked an Eevee...

Ash: WHY DO I BOTHEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR??????

Jessie: ~on phone~ Hello, boss? Screw you! We quit! ~hangs up~

James: Hooray!

Misty: Here's twenty bucks. Thanks! I'll make sure to recommend you to all Brock's friends!

Jessie: Thanks!

James: I wonder what would happen if I kicked a Ditto...

Ash: OWWW! STOP EATING MY LEG, YOU STUPID POKEMON!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~is eaten~

Gary: I loved that! That was great!! Unfortunately, the lens cap was still on.

Everyone: TRACEY!!!!!!!!!!!

Tracey: ~behind camera~ What?

Gary: So, let's take it from the top!

Gyrados: ~eyes glowing~ No.

Gary: Huh?!

Gyrados: Being eaten awoke my dormant psychic powers, Oak. This is Ash. And we are NOT TAKING IT FROM THE TOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone but Gary and Ash: Yeah!!!!

Misty: This was a stupid idea in the first place!!!

Gary: Ash...Please stop taking control of Gyrados...

Ash: Gyrados wants to do this too!!! ~Gyrados starts chasing Gary~

Everyone but Gary: WAHOOOO!!!!!

Gary: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Saturn: ~laughing~ I loved that!!

Gary: That wasn't very funny. You're all a bunch of abnormal freaks!

Saturn: To quote "Agnus", I believe it is, "That'll prove my frikin' point! ... There is no normal."

Gary: What do you mean by that?!

Saturn: There is no normal, Oak. And if there is, you sure as he** are not it.

Gary: Oh. Da*n!!!

~Recorded Author's Note~

How long is this?... Long enough. There is no normal. I should know. ^_^

"Childhood is short and maturity is forever." -Calvin, explaining why he's outside instead of doing his homework

Farewell,

~Meredith * Tomoko~