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Things People on Pokemon Would Only Say if Somebody Spiked Their Drinks...6!

 

Hello. As you all know, today is the day we get two new hosts. I bet you're all dizzy with the suspense... And Rudolph's nose is blue. I'm still gonna keep you waiting!

????: HEY! Let me out of here, da*n it! Psychopathic author!!

SHUT UP, YOU BLINKIN' BAKAYARO!!!!!!!!! ~breathes~ Okay, now you know that I hate one of them... Okay, I guess I'll reveal my secret...

??????: Does that mean we get to come out?

Yep! And now, the wonderful author presents... Drumroll please...

 

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HOTARU AND GARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hotaru: Hi folks!

Gary: Hey, you aren't even on the show!

Hotaru: Shuddup, odango atama.

Gary: Huh?

Hotaru: You're on an anime and you don't even know Japanese??!

Gary: Why should I? I can just call Grandpa!

Hotaru: Oooooh, you really don't... This presents some interesting possibilities... ~grins evilly~

Gary: Aren't you a little OOC?

Hotaru: ~defensively~ Hey, I'm not on your show! I can act however the he** I want!

Gary: ~sarcastically~ Oooh, an expletive, I'm SOOOOOOOO scared.

Hotaru: You shouldn't be scared of _that_, I grant you...

Gary: Yeah? What _should_ I be afraid of? "Anorexia attack"?

Hotaru: ~calmly~ No, this. ~Pulls out glaive~

Gary: A stick with a G on the end of it? ~sarcastically~ Oh Houou, Lugia, and the Legendary Birds help me.

Hotaru: This "stick with a G on the end of it" can destroy a whole world, dipstick. And I will not hesitate to use it on you.

Gary: Hey! ~to author~ She called me a dipstick!

I've called you much worse, trust me. Also, I recall flipping a few birds... Don't come crying to _me_, I'm on _her_ side...dipstick.

Gary: Arrgh!

Hotaru: This is going to be rated PG, it says so on my contract.

Gary: You have a _contract_?!

Hotaru: Yep. I don't get paid, but there ARE rice balls...

Gary: She just made me appear here! I'm doing this totally against my will!

Hotaru: Really? Score one for the author! ^_^

Gary: Traitor...

Hotaru: Lessee... "If Satoshi Tajari wants this fic, he has to pay me. Of course, I don't see why he'd _want_ the blinkin' thing, but I have to say he owns Pokemon anyway."

Gary: "Blinkin' "? What kind of stupid term is _that_? I use ****in'!

Hotaru: _That_ is why you are a bakayaro.

Gary: Hey! I don't know what that means, but I KNOW it's bad!

Hotaru: No kidding, Sherlock.

Gary: Basically, this is a piece of cra* where she tortures us all and makes us look stupid.

Hotaru: No, I believe she only does that to _you_...

Gary: Are you drunk or something?

Hotaru: Go to Cleveland, Gary.

Gary: Why?

Hotaru: And get married to Mimi.

Gary: Who?

Hotaru: Don't tell me you've never seen The Drew Carey Show...

Gary: ~annoyingly~ I haven't.

Hotaru: Shut _up_.

Ash: "1. Dimpled Chad for Al Gore: Clearly, the voters intended to cast a ballot for Al Gore, but failed to fully penetrate the paper due to being too weak from not receiving badly needed prescription medication because they can't afford it. COUNT THIS VOTE FOR AL GORE."

Misty: What ARE you doing?

Ash: Reading this political E-mail! It's really funny! Here, read Number 2!

Misty: "2. Hole punched for Pat Buchanan: Since nobody in his right mind would vote for Pat Buchanan, the voter was obviously confused by the butterfly ballot. Further, only Democrats would be confused by this ballot so COUNT THIS VOTE FOR AL GORE." Hey, this IS funny!

Tracey: Hey, I just realized I accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan! Stupid butterfly ballot!

Ash: ~Murmurs~ The prosecution rests...

Misty: What do you think of the election, Ash?

Ash: I think we should kill them both and make GARY president!

Misty: Oh no, not again! ~to the sky~ Prima, stop it!

Ash: ~snaps out of it~ Oh, not again. What did I say?

Misty: Prima has a crush on Gary...

Ash: Oh cra*.

Gary: ~singing~ Oh I'm a Pi-irate, who don't do anything, I just stay at home, and lie around, and if you ask me, to do anything, we'll just tell you...we don't do anything!

Cheerleader 'D': Oops! Forgot to give him his pills! Here, Gary!

Cheerleader 'C': Don't you hate it when he does Veggietales? I'm glad I'm not on the pill shift anymore.

Cheerleader 'D': ~ignoring her~ Gary! Wake up! You have to challenge Sabrina! Wake up! ~shakes him~ Oh, I give up. Sabrina would've wiped the floor with him!

Gary: ~singing~ If you like to talk to tomatoes...

Cheerleader 'D': Oops! Gave him the Prozac!

Gary: ~singing~ That'd be too bad, I might be sad, I'd be so mad, I'd call my dad, that'd be too bad.

Cheerleader 'C': Not "Silly Songs With Larry"! He's so off-key on those!

Cheerleader 'A': He's whacked? This is our chance to leave! ~to Gary~ Oak, as I read in an interview, you can take this job and stick it up your @$$!!!!! We're leaving!

Cheerleaders: Yeah!!! ~they leave~

Gary: Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose?...

Ash: ~singing~ Oh, I just drank a beer, drank a beer, drank a beer...

~All below is singing to the tune of "Deck the Halls"~

Misty: Deck the halls with filth and trash! Fa la la la la, la la la la! 'Tis the season to kill Ash! Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Ash: Deck the halls with socks and listies! Fa la la la la, la la la la! 'Tis the season to kiss Misty! Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Pikachu: ~Translated~ Deck the halls with Pokechow! Fa la la la la, la la la la! I want Meowth, and I want him now! Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Meowth: Deck the halls of da caboose! Fa la la la la, la la la la! Mistletoe o'er Pikachu! Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Jessie: Deck the halls with stuff that's lame! Fa la la la la, la la la la! Please please Santa give me James! Fa la la la la, la la la la!

James: Deck the halls and make them messy! Fa la la la la, la la la la! I'm gonna propose to Jessie! Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Gary: Deck the halls with dust and trash! Fa la la la la, la la la la! Let's all go and murder Ash! Fa la la la la, la la la la! See him bleed all o'er his bed--

Ash: Who killed Gary? Oh well, he's dead!

All but Gary: Fa la la la la, la la la la!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gary: I'm insulted! She said I'm on medication! And my cheerleaders quit!

Hotaru: More power to 'em!

Gary: Da*n you.

Hotaru: Go to Purgatory.

Gary: You're Catholic?

Hotaru: No. Just Christian. Wow, you knew a word!

Gary: [insult that goes with the bird]

Hotaru: Back at you, Jack!

Gary: My name isn't Jack!

Hotaru: ~flatly~ You complete idiot.

Gary: Wha-at?

Hotaru: You idiot.

Gary: What did I do?

Hotaru: You complete idiot.

Gary: OKAY!! I'M AN IDIOT!!!!!! I GET IT ALREADY!!!!

Hotaru: ~cheekily~ Good. That's one of the facts of life you've got down.

Gary: WHY YOU--

~Recorded Author's Note~

Hope that was long enough! No political statement was intended. Gary fans, read at your own risk. How many of you _are_ there, anyway? Not many... If you are insulted or believe any character is out-of-character, remember the title. I claim no responsibility for any psychological damage that might occur because your favorite character acted like a fool. If this does happen, please tell me at: youreaweenie@fakemailaddys2give2weenies.com . If _THAT_ insulted you, please send to the same address. Arigotu!