Things People on Pokemon Would Only Say if Somebody Spiked Their Drinks... 4!
By Meredith
Ash: ~groggy~ That wash a nice nap... Hey, something’s going on here... Lessee... Tongue furry, headache, dizziness, generally feeling like cra*... Hmmm...Mom said something like that when... HEY!!!!
Misty: ~groggily~ Keep it down, Ash... HEYYYY! Somebody DID spike our drinks!
Meredith: ~will be in Violet from now on with no designation~ Actually, it was the doughnuts.
Ash: ~a few seconds behind; teasingly~ Are ya saying you’ve been drinking before, Misty? ~Catches up~ How the heck can you spike a DOUGHNUT??!
It was Rare Candy.
Misty: What the heck is Rare Candy?
It’s kinda like beer, cocaine, and aphrodisiac mixed together, made 100% proof, and made into a candy.
Misty: Wait a sec... aphrodisiac... isn’t that...
Ash: Something that enhances romantic feelings...
Misty: And with beer and coke...
Ash: You could do ANYTHING, you’d be so high.
Ash and Misty: ~pause~ HOLY CRA*!!!!!!!!!!!
Misty: We didn’t DO anything, did we?
Ash: Articuno, I hope not.
No, I got to you in time.
Misty: Huh? Whadaya MEAN, “got to you in time”?
You were _planning_ to...
Ash and Misty: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t worry, I got Mimey to use Barrier!
Ash: Oh no, now MOM’LL know!
No, MIB loaned me a memory-erasing thingy.
Misty: Oh no, now MIB will know!
~Getting frustrated~ Then I borrowed Harry Potter’s wand.
Ash: Oh no, now Harry Potter knows!
THEN I borrowed Ron’s wand. Then I used Hermione’s wand. Memory Charms, people!
Misty: OH NO, now Ron and Hermione know!
~ready to stuff them down a drain~ Then I used MY wand!
Ash and Misty: OH NO, NOW _SHE_ KNOWS!!! WE’RE DOOMED!
~REALLY ticked off~ I KNEW IN THE _FIRST_ PLACE, YOU IDIOTS!!! ARRGH! BAKA BAKA BAKA!!!!!!!!!
Ash: Oh yeah. Sorry.
Ok, I won’t kill you. ^_^ Here, I’ll even do the intro. You guys can rest.
I don’t own it, and I’m willing to bet YOU don’t either, so what’s da big deal? Yeesh!
Because _I_ don’t like to read too much over the PG rating, _this_ won’t go over the PG rating.
You want a SUMMARY??!?!? Articuno, if you don’t know by now, go read the OTHER ones first!
And, I’d like to dedicate this to a few special people. If you aren’t on there, complain, I’ll put you on next time.
To Jolteon, who only read this cause of the “FREE DOUNTS!” thing. Hey, it’s kinda refreshing!
To Mewberries and AngryMew2 (AKA AngryGarurumon), ’cause I like ya. ^_^ Seriously!
To Meowth, who has consistently sent me ones to use, even when I didn’t use them all cause there were a couple over da PG rating ^_^.
Hmmm... to CheeseWizardmon--It’s nice to have authors review you! ^_^
And, last but sure as heck not least, to Sara! God bless you! I mean, not ONLY does she have a kick-@$$ fic (read Pokemon: The live-Action Movie? You should), BUT SHE REVIEWED MY FIC!!!!!!! *sobs* It’s so nice to have a review besides that utterly STUPID BAKA STUPID BAKA review by that other guy! And what’s better, SHE LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sniffs* Let’s get on with the show so I can keep sobbing. THANK YOU AGAIN, SARA!!! AND JEFF!!! REMEMBER JEFF! (I’m talking about “The CD-Rom”) *starts sobbing with happiness again* Thanks! It means so much to me!!!
Jessie: Prepare for-- what the heck’s going on?!?!
James: Er... Make it double, I have a thong!
Jessie: ~bashes James with the kitchen sink~ What are you DOING, twerps?!?!?!? STOP RUNNING!! ~She and James run after them~
Misty: We... can’t!
Brock: Evil...Jigglypuff...
James: Oh no, we’re gonna fall asleep again!
Ash: It’s...worse...than...that...
Jessie: What do you mean? What could be worse than that stupid Jigglypuff ruining my makeup?
Misty: It...is... OH CRUD!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S JIGGLYPUFF!!!!!
~It is~
Everyone: Oh no!!!
Brock: Kill me now...
Meowth: It ain’t DAT bad!
Ash: Oh yes...it is...
~Jigglypuff opens its mouth; Ash, Misty, and Brock scream like heck~
Jigglypuff: She’s in, to superstition, black cats and voodoo dolls...
Team Rocket: OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jigglypuff: She’ll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain... uh... but she’ll take away your pain, like a bullet through your brain!
~later~
Officer Jenny: ~on TV~ The bodies of five people and a couple Pokemon were found. They appear to have been tortured, yawn, be on the lookout... Aw, heck with this! I’m gonna be a supermodel!
James: It’s off to Viridian for the Earth Badge, Pikachu!
Jessie: And remember, James, you still owe me a bike!
Meowth: Not THIS again.
Misty: Prepare for trouble, this is screwed around!
Ash: Make it double, it’s gonna rebound!
Misty: To show you guys REAL devastation!
Ash: By the way, whadaya _mean_, “Our nation”?
Misty: I’m a Rocketshipper, ya’ll are in love!
Ash: I’m a Willowshipper! Palletshipping, UGH!
Misty: MISTY!
Ash: ASH!
Misty: Team Rocket put us all in in a plight!
Ash: Surrender now or get the cra* knocked out of you!
Brock: That’s right!
James: Uh.. YOU’RE NEVER GETTING MY PIKACHU!
Ash: It’s MY Pikachu, you dumb@$$!!!
James: Oh yeah, I forgot. Here.
Jessie: JAMES!!! You forgot the plan, you idiot!!
Ash: Thanks! ~Straps himself, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu onto a rocket, which he then lights~
Misty: Ash you dumb ash! What’re you DOING??
Ash: We have to blast off somehow!
Misty: WHY YOU--
~The rocket blasts off~
Brock: Oh well, at least it’s not a Fourth of July rocket!
Misty: Yeah, who’d be that stupid?
Ash: Me.
Misty and Brock: WWWWWHHATTTTT?!???!?!??!?!?!
Ash: It’s the only way to kill the egg demon!
Misty: Oh no, Togepi’s gonna get killed!
Ash: ~insanely~ Yes! And this death’s a much better one than IT had planned!
Misty: You know Ash, evil suicidal freaks really turn me on.
Ash: So do girls who insult me!
~They start... put your own action here~
Brock: Da*n! I never got to tell Meowth I love him!
~the rocket explodes~
James: Darn. ... Let’s get married, Meowth!
Jessie: No, I wanna marry Meowth!
Meowth: Aah, marry each other. I’m engaged to Giovanni.
Ash: Whatever.
Ash: Let’s go get some Rare Candy!!!
Misty: Yeah!
“Ha! Man, that was SOOO funny if I do say so myself!”
Meredith laughed. With a British accent, she said, “Sometimes I amaze myself...” Back to normal, she laughed. “Ash, Misty, wasn’t that rare candy one funny? Guys?” Suddenly, Meredith noticed that they weren’t there. Puzzled, she started looking for them. “Come on, I wasn’t insulting you! I know you aren’t an evil suicidal freak, Ash! And I know they don’t turn you on, Mist!”She opened a closet door.
Her eyes widened.
She hastily closed it again, throwing her back to it.
“Oh cra*...”
~recorded Author’s note~
I know this one isn’t as long as usual, but man, does it have quality! As soon as I figure out more jokes for the next one, it’ll be out. I have the little plots-- you know, the intros-- plotted out already. Things may be changing... ^_^ At the risk of partially spoiling it, Hotaru and Gary may join our crew! Or maybe Richie and Serena will! Or Setsuna and Professor Oak! I’m giving all the alternatives because if I told you which two, it would ruin some suspense. I have some Voyager fics planned, and my science project notebook is due 11-17-00. SO you may need to expect delays... See, I just like too much, write too much, and type too little. ^_^; Lessee if this looks good! ^^; ^.^; Ooh, I gotta start using those! If you’ll excuse me, I have to go get some Coke, chocolate, and a book and try to forget about that closet ‘till TPOPWOSISSTD...5! . ^_^
~later Author’s Note~
You better like this. Man, ff.net kept saying it wasn’t in .htm or .html format! It WAS!! Anyway, I had to Copy it all and put it onto a new document. Maybe it’s for the best. I’ll try to get at least Part 5 and 6 soon, but I have a whole lot to do. As I said, I’m a fanfiction author, and LIFE is my muse. Wait, DID I say that to y’all? Whatever. Anyway, I’d like to thank Sailor Jupiter/Princess Zelda of Hyrule for the (in my POV) shameless flattery. ME? Write good AAMRN?!? Mind-boggling! Well... I DO have an idea... ripped off of my life... If I write it, I know who to dedicate it to. So thanks! Please R&R!! ^_^
~Each time, you try, gonna get just a little bit better,
Each day, you climb, it’s one more step up the ladder!~
“Pokemon: The Johto Journeys” theme song
(You need the lyrics? I have them. Call me if you need them...)
Farewell,
~* Meredith* ~
