Part Two--No Sport is Less Organized Than Calvinball

Author’s note: The quotes for titles thing was a fluke, but I like it, so I’ll keep doing it! ^_^ I don’t own Calvin and Hobbes. This takes place in the summer. I didn’t really need to tell you that, but... *shrugs* And yes, Susie can see Hobbes now. Hey, it’s MY fic, I personally believe Hobbes is real. If you don’t, feel free to stop reading.

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The doorbell rang.

“Susie, could you get that?” asked Mrs. Derkins.

“Okay...” Susie opened the door to find Calvin outside. Wearing a _mask_.

“Susie! Here’s a mask, Hobbes put out the time-fracture wickets, let’s go!!!”

“What in the--” Calvin grabbed her by the hand and dragged her outside. “Um, mom, I’ll be next door!...”

“Ok, dear. Could you ask them for a cup of sugar? I’m making a cake...”

Susie was dragged out of hearing range. “Ok Calvin, what in the HECK are you doing?!”

“We’re gonna play Calvinball!!” he yelled excitedly.

“CALVIN-ball?!!?!?”

“Here, put on the mask!”

“Er...Oh, what the hey.” She tied the homemade mask around her head. “So...What are the rules?”

“There ARE no rules! That’s why it’s so great! Hobbes, ya got the volleyball?”

“NO, your stupid Dad put it under his bike!!” yelled Hobbes. “Yaaaaaa!” There was a loud clatter, and Hobbes emerged from the garage, triumphant.

Susie was completely dumbstruck.

“Cm’on, Susie, let’s play!” said Calvin.

“Er...All right. How do we start?” she asked.

“Simple.” Calvin took the volleyball. “Whoever has the Calvinball runs like heck, and everyone tries to get it. Ha ha!!!” He started running. “You’re in the backwards zone! You have to do everything backwards!” Calvin ran off.

“Why that little...” Susie growled. “Well, TWO can play at THIS game!! I FOUND THE REVERSAL CHARM!! THE BACKWARDS ZONE IS NOW THE NORMAL ZONE!!!”

“Darn!” said Calvin from in the woods.

“Wow, even Rosalyn didn’t pick it up this fast,” marveled Hobbes.

“Well, I’m not a slimy barracuda, so that helps. Now, IF you will excuse me...” She ran off after Calvin.

Calvin grabbed a branch. “Ha! I have the Hypno sword! Anyone else who sees it has to do my bidding!”

Susie ran into the clearing. “CRUD!”

“I decree you have to......” Calvin said. “Um...Dump a bucket of ice water over your head and say, ‘I am lousy! Calvin is great!’ three times!! Ha ha!”

Hobbes ran into the clearing.

“Hobbes! You saw the Hypno Sword! You have to go get the bucket of ice water!” yelled Calvin.

“Fine, fine...” Hobbes returned in a minute with the water.

“Arrgh...” Susie sighed and dumped the water over her head. “I am lousy, Calvin is great. I am lousy, Calvin is great. I am lousy, Calvin is great. Auggh, this stuff is FREEZING!”

Calvin was doubled over with laughter. Susie took the opportunity to grab a branch of her own. “HA!” She waved it in front of his eyes. “This is the Kadabra Sword! You have to do what I say!”

Calvin moaned. “Maybe this was a bad idea...”

“I decree you have to...give me the Calvinball, then go to your mom and say, ’I played a joke, now I’m in tears/’Cos I have to sing Britney Spears‘, then sing ‘Oops, I did it Again’!!!” Susie yelled in triumph.

“Auggh, you’re good...” sighed Calvin.

“Calvinball, please?” said Susie.

“Here,” said a disgruntled Calvin. He trudged off to his house, Susie and Hobbes following.

“Hi, Calvin. Gee, you don’t look too happy,” said his mom.

Calvin sighed. “ ’I played a joke, now I’m in tears, ’Cos I have to sing Britney Spears‘...” He sighed. “Do I have to sing the whole thing?”

“No, just the chorus,” said Susie from the bushes.

Calvin sighed. “Might as well do this thing right...” He launched into a Britney Spears routine. “Oops, I did it again, I played with your heart, Got lost in the game, Oh baby, baby, Oops, you think I'm in love, And I’m sent from aboo-oo--oo--ve, I’m not that innocent!”

Calvin’s mom stared.

“Ok, bye!” said Calvin.

His mom shook her head. She had long since decided to not even TRY to figure him out.

“Eep!” squeaked Susie. “Er, you’re both in the Spin Cycle zone! You have to spin around and count to twenty!” She ran like heck.

“Darn it!” yelled Calvin. He started spinning. “One, two,...”

“She’s CUTE, isn’t she?” said Hobbes.

“Oh, shut up.” He finished spinning and caught up to Susie. “Ha! You’re in the Repentance Zone! You have to give me the Calvinball and lay face-down on the ground for five minutes! Hand it over!”

“Man...” She gave him the Calvinball and got down. “One locomotive, two locomotive, three locomotive...” In the distance, she heard Calvin yelling, “The score is K to J to Zero!”

“Yaa!” Hobbes yelled. “You’re in the jail! The only way to get out is to tunnel!”

“#$@%##^(#%@!$^)$@!~~@!!!!!!” Calvin yelled.

“Hoo hoo hoo!” yelled Hobbes. “K to J to 21!”

“Yes!” said Susie, getting up. Calvin ran up, quite dirty from tunneling out of the jail.

“Let’s find Hobbes. You go that way, I’ll go this way,” said Calvin.

Susie ran off. Finally she caught sight of Hobbes crossing a stream. “Hold it!”

Hobbes froze.

“You’re in, Er, the Delta Quadrant! You have to give me the Calvinball and walk to Calvin’s house, then you’re free!”

“Arrgh...” Hobbes walked off.

Susie looked around. She saw a crude raft tied to a tree to keep it from floating off.

“Cool!” She untied the rope and got on the raft, floating down the wide stream. The best part is, Calvin will be looking for Hobbes! It’ll be forever before he looks for me! she thought. She relaxed, looking at the scenery.

A long while later, Calvin appeared with Hobbes. “Hey Susie, we’re taking a lunch break. Can we come on?”

“Sure!” she said. She tossed the rope to Calvin, and they pulled the raft in.

“My mom made us sandwiches,” said Calvin as they drifted again. “You know what? Let’s end the game for today. This is a really cool stream.”

“Well, couldn’t we get lost?” said Susie.

“Nah, I have this whole stream mapped. See?” he said, opening a box that was on the raft and opening a crude map.

“Okay then. Hey, what else is in there?”

“Comic books,” said Calvin happily.

Susie looked through them. “Ooh, you have the Sailor Moon manga?” she squealed.

“Those are Hobbes’s,” said Calvin quickly.

“Cool! I always wanted to read those!”

So they sailed down the stream, reading comics, eating sandwiches, and admiring the scenery.

~~~~~~~

“Susie!” said Mrs. Derkins. “Where have you been all day?”

“Outside,” said Susie. “Oh, here’s the sugar.”

She went upstairs to get a shower.

~~~~~~~