Hypothesis: "That milk in the diet of rats affects their body mass"
Oh really?
Yes, apparently it does.
Oh, I didn't realize. Maybe that's why my rats are so skinny. I've been feeding mine on bread crusts and stale horse bladders.
Well, maybe you should feed them rat food.
Never! Do you know what they put in that stuff?
Any worse than what you feed them now?
No, probably not. But what about the milk thing? What kind of milk do I give them?
Badger milk sounds about right I think.
Why?
Because badgers are a lot like rats.
How do you figure that?
Well, apart from the size, colouring, species, body shape, hairiness, diet and habitat, they're practically identical.
I see your point. So how do I get hold of some?
I suggest you go see a badger farmer. I'mm sure he'll grow you a badger or two. He might even tell you how to grow your own.
So they grow on trees then?
No, I think they're a root vegetable.
Ah, thanks. I'm off to the farm.
Have a nice day!
~~************~~
...Later...
Hello good farmer.
Hail, good sir.
Lady.
What?
I'm a lady, not a 'sir'.
... Are you sure?
Yes, quite. I'm after some badger milk.
Some what?
Badger... Milk... This is a badger farm.
No, I just have a lot of these funny little furry things.
They're called badgers.
Badgers? Where! Where! (runs around and hides)
Ahm, don't worry. So, um, can I buy some funny little furry thing milk?
No.
What? Why not?
Because I don't have any.
Ah... That could be a problem.
Yes, sir.
LADY...
Lady, yes sir.
(sigh) So how can I get some milk?
I suggest that you get a funny little furry thing of your very own, and teach it to make milk.
So how much can I pay for one of yours?
Nothing, I hate the little buggers.
Oh, all right, I'll take two. Oh, and how do I look after them?
Plant them about 10 cm into the ground, pointy end up. And feed them turnips.
Turnips? But isn't a turnip a root vegetable?
Yes, I believe it is, sir.
Well, isn't that a bit strange, feeding a root vegetable to a root vegetable?
No, I don't think so, sir.
You're a very strange person, you know that?
Thank you, sir. Good day.
Goodbye.
~~To Be Continued...~~
