This is a screwed up parody of the Playstation 2 game Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty.
The opening scene has Snake on a bridge then jumping over some things and finally lands on a ship, but suddenly his stealth camo runs out.
SNAKE:*on codec*This is Snake
THREE HOURS LATER. . .
OTACON:Okay, Snake seems to waking up and I was almost to the part where Emma died, too!
Snake goes around the ship and then goes through one of the doors. He then goes to the navigational deck. Then his codec rings.
Snake then sees a woman through the window and goes outside.
Snake hits Olga with his M9 and takes her USP. He then gets a call on his codec.
Snake gets to the engine room and sees infrared sensors, C4s, and control units.
Snake does so and gets to the place where you fight all those guards.
MEANWHILE. . .
GUARD: Is there somebody there?
BACK TO SNAKE. . .
SNAKE: *on codec* Otacon, I'm going to have to distract the Marines some how, because that guy's speech is too boring. Hey! Wait a minute! I got an idea.*hangs up*
Snake graps one of the books that you can get later in the game and puts it on the projecter. He then sneaks past the Marines and tries to get a picture of RAY but Scott Dolph is in the way.
SNAKE: *with camera in hand* Hey move it!
Snake takes the pictures of RAY and has to soom in really close to the small fine print engravings on the 3 inch toy that say "©2002 Marines® All Right Reserved". He then transfers the photos to Otacon.
OTACON: Okay, Snake, they are all good photos
Just when Snake is about to celebrate, Ocelot and Gurlukovich come alont with the soldiers.
SNAKE: Ocelot?!
Gurlukovich falls and the ships starts sinking.
OCELOT: Dammit! I told Gurlukovich to stop eating those twinkies but now he's so fat he sank the ship. Ugh! Not this again!*right arm takes over*
Snake gets up to the top deck and dives over the ship and then swims to shore.
OTACON: SSNNAAAAAAAKKEE!!!!!!
SNAKE: What?
The opening scene has Raiden swimming around in a child's 2 inch pool and helicopter are over him looking for who knows what.
COLONEL: Your mission is rescue the hostages and destroy Metal Gear RAY
Just then another guard came in and blasted Vamp.
VAMP: *gets a call on his radio* Queen! I'm kinda tied up right now! My life gage is very low *hangs up and runs out of the strut in slow motion taking about 20 bullets in the head*
Raiden left Strut B and headed to the BC connecting bridge. He saw a few soldiers trying to shoot a woman
WOMAN: AHH!! DON'T HIT ME!! I CAN'T DIE NOW!!!*gets hits*
Raiden heads to Strut C and finds a man laying his head down on a table.
RAIDEN: *pulls out SOCOM* Who are you? Raiden and Pliskin then walk off and pop all the balloons in the Big Shell that are located in the toilets of the bathrooms, in the refrigerator of the crew lounge, etc.
Raiden heads to the roof of Strut E and sees Olga talking on a radio.
Raiden walks to the Harrier and pops the water balloon on it. Then someone skates up to him.
Suddenly, someone jumps behind Raiden.
RAIDEN: What the-?! *pulls out SOCOM* Who are you?
Raiden then runs around the base until he encounters water balloons and needles. He then gets a call from Pliskin.
PLISKIN: Raiden, shoot the needles and do not shoot the water balloons.
Raiden did so and there came Solidus Snake.
RAIDEN: *pulls out Socom* What the heck?!
Raiden put on the guard disguise and got to Shell 2 and gets to the machine that examines your eyes.
RAIDEN: *puts his eyes on the machine*
Raiden beat up every poor hostage and finally came to a white male that moaned like a little girl when you hit him.
RAIDEN: You must be Ames, why do you scream like that when you get hit?
Raiden goes to Shell 2 and sees Olga on her radio.
SOLIDUS: He's here
Raiden takes advantage of the scene, gets a Nikita and takes out the electric floor control thingies and walks into the room where the Johnson is.
RAIDEN: Johnson?
Raiden heads down to B1 and swims to where there is a pool in the center of room. Vamp then pops out of the pool.
RAIDEN: *pulls out M4*It's you again?
Raiden then goes to a locker room to where Emma is.
EMMA: *pees so much it floods the locker*
Raiden and Emma swim out the way Raiden came in. Raiden then notices that Peter Stillman's body isn't there, and he must have left the Big Shell, and a few of Fatman's water balloons blew up here. Raiden and Emma then go to Strut L.
RAIDEN: It looks like you're going to have to cross that bridge by yourself.
Emma crosses the bridge as Snake and Raiden cover for her with their sniper rifles. Suddenly, Vamp jumps up from the water very slowly but Raiden hits him before he touches Emma and kills him.
SNAKE: Raiden! Emma's been stabbed!
Raiden gets to the computer room, and sees Otacon kneeling down with Emma and Snake standing up watching them.
OTACON: Why Emma?! Why!!?
Snake pops in the disc and the upload stops at 99.999%.
SNAKE: What the-?!
Snake and Otacon do that really cool handshake thing but Snake accidentally hits Otacon's right hand and squishes the parrot. Otacon then leaves to the next room.
PARROT: I miss you, Hal, I miss you
MEANWHILE. . .
SNAKE: You can come out now
Raiden wakes up to the room where Ocelot and Solidus are.
SOLIDUS: So, there is a resemblance, Jacklyn the Ripper
RAIDEN: Jacklyn?! You thought I was a girl
Raiden then runs around in a chicken suit past the guards then gets a call from the Colonel.
COLONEL: Raiden, your role is to stop Arsenal, that is your role in this role playing game Snake and Raiden go to a room where a bunch of guards come out. Snake and Raiden kill them. Then Fortune comes out.
FORTUNE: It's you Solid Snake, the root of all my sorrow
Raiden climbed up the ladder to find Solidus' voice talking to him.
SOLIDUS: Jack, you have been reduced into a Patriots' puppet. There is no need to keep you know, I will now give you a worthy opponent.
Solidus released 24 Metal Gear RAY action figures but Raiden stepped on all of them except one.
RAIDEN: It's no use
Raiden and Solidus then jump to Federal Hall.
MEANWHILE...
Rated PG-13 for mild language and mild violence.
OTACON:Everything okay?
SNAKE:Yeah, but what happened to my stealth camo?
OTACON:It was a cheep excuse from Kojima so that you couldn't have stealth camo. It would have made the tanker chapter too easy.
SNAKE:Umm. . . okay then
OTACON:Anyways, the mission objectives is to get photographic evidences of the new prototype Metal Gear RAY toy.
SNAKE:What?
OTACON:Okay, the Marines have made a new action figure of Metal Gear RAY without the license of Konami or Hideo Kojima, so we must get photos that speak louder than the government trying to cover up the copyrighted violations.
SNAKE:Okay, so all I have to do is sneak past a few marines and get pictures of Metal Gear?
OTACON:You got it. Okay let's look at your gear. First the M9 gun-
SNAKE:What does this do?*takes M9 and shoots himself in the head with it*
OTACON:Snake! You idiot!
SNAKE:*falls asleep*
OTACON:That will put him out for at least 3 hours, I wonder what I'll do for the next three hours. . . *plays MGS2 on his PS2*
SNAKE:What happened?
OTACON:Nevermind that, just get in there and take pictures of Metal Gear RAY
Otacon was cut off as mysterious troops landed on the ship.
RUSSIAN GUARD:Hey, I heard Burger King is giving out free cheeseburgers
MARINE:Really?
All the marines jump off the ship and swim to Burger King.
GUARD:It worked! Oh yeah! *high-fives the other guards*
SNAKE:*on codec*that was rather interesting. . .
OTACON:Hey get a picture of their leader
SNAKE:*takes a picture of their leader(the old man)*
SERGEI GURLUKOVICH:Hey! That flashphotography is hurting my eyes!
SNAKE:Sorry
GURLUKOVICH:No problem
SNAKE:*on codec*Otacon get an identification on him ASAP
OTACON:Gotcha, anyways just get a picture of Metal Gear RAY, they could make alot of money off of those things. Children all over the world will want one-
SNAKE:*hangs up*
OTACON:Snake, find out where the ship is headed
SNAKE:It's headed to WAL-Mart
OTACON:What?
SNAKE:Why would they be ready to sell the Metal Gear RAYs when they only have one prototype one?
OTACON:I don't know *hangs up*
OLGA: Metal Gear RAY is being manufactored and should be ready to sell to WAL-Mart and K-Mart.
GURLUKOVICH: Good, and I want you off the ship
OLGA: What?
GURLUKOVICH: For safety purposes
OLGA: Safety from what?
GURLUKOVICH: No idea
OLGA: Okay then *hangs up and signals the helicopter*
SNAKE: *jumps out and pulls his M9 on Olga* FREEZE!
OLGA: !?
SNAKE: Drop your gun, hands up, and show your face
OLGA: *drops her gun, takes off her hat, and puts her hands up*
SNAKE: Take it off! Take it all off!
OLGA: What?
SNAKE: Err... I mean DIE!!!*fires M9*
OLGA: *dodges the bullets and draws her knife but slips and falls and the knife falls off the ship* Darn! I was supposed to do something with that knife.
OTACON: I got an ID on the old man
SNAKE: Who is he?
OTACON: Sergei Gurlusnaga
SNAKE: Gurlusnaga?! What the hell?!
OTACON: Uhh... I mean Gurlukovich, a Russian toymaker
SNAKE: Toymaker? I gotta get out of this nuthouse!*hangs up*
SNAKE: Otacon, what do I have to do?
OTACON: Shoot the green thingies
SNAKE: Green thingies?
OTACON: Um... yeah, and don't shoot the orange thingies*hangs up*
GUARD 1: Seal the bottom deck, there's an intruder
GUARD 2: Intruder?
SNAKE: Yeah, I heard he's wearing a bandanna and a sneaking suit and has brown hair - oh ****!
GUARD 1: Get him!
SNAKE: Shoots them both and gets to the place where the Marine commander Scott Dolph is giving a speech to the Marines
OCELOT: *comes out*
GUARD: Thank God! It's only you
OCELOT: *tries to pull out his gun but trips and falls and a Revolver Ocelot action figure falls out of his pocket*
GUARD: *catches the action figure* Hey! thanks! *runs off with it*
OCELOT: Hey! That's mine!
DOLPH: BLAH BLAH BLA- Oh sorry *moves* I have a daughter and uh we will launch RAY and makes lots of $ with it
DOLPH: What the-?!
OCELOT: I am taking my toy back
DOLPH: What?! You never owned RAY
OCELOT: No, I am not talking about RAY, I am talking about my Revolver Ocelot action figure. Now, which one of you guards took it.
GUARD: *whistling innocently* it wasn't me
GURLUKOVICH: Enough with this! I am going to steal RAY so we can make lots of money off of it and use it to support Russia
OCELOT: Russia can rot for all I care. I will use it to get enough money and take over the world. *shoots Gurlukovich and Dolph*
GURLUKOVICH: Damn you Ocelot! *dies*
LIQUID: It's been a while Snake!
SNAKE: Liquid?
OCELOT: Get the hell away from me! I never lost this arm! The Ninja from Metal Gear Hollow tried to chop it off with a plastic toy sword
LIQUID: Oh man! I never get a part on the story!
OCELOT: Better luck next time, man
LIQUID: Okay, dude *walks off the set and grabs some coffee*
SNAKE: oookay?
OCELOT: Now, where were we? Oh yes, I was going to make my escape *grabs RAY and jumps on a giant Cypher and goes to the shore*
SNAKE: I gotta get off this ship
OTACON: Err. . . umm, we are going to have to say you officially died
SNAKE: Why?
OTACON: So, nobody expects thats we stole RAY
SNAKE: But wouldn't they think that I sank the tanker and was after RAY?
OTACON: Yeah, but we have to follow the darn game
SNAKE: umm ookay*hangs up codec and does hell knows what as it cuts to the Plant chapter*
RAIDEN: Who's the most important hostage?
COLONEL: James Johnson
RAIDEN: My grandma!! err... I mean the guy that manufactors Metal Gear RAY action figures?
COLONEL: Yeah, and uh this mission begins the same way Metal Gear Hollow began so don't get supiscious
RAIDEN: *gets out of the pool and walks to the set where the first strut is*
COLONEL: Bye the way, your codename is no longer Snake it's now Raiden
RAIDEN: Why?
COLONEL: Raiden is more feminine
RAIDEN: What? I'm a boy
COLONEL: Oh I thought you were a girl. . .
RAIDEN: Shut up!
COLONEL: Bye the way, you should get to the node
RAIDEN: Did you just call me a nerd?
COLONEL: Not nerd, node, although you'll only have to use the first one since you'll really never have to use another one of them again throughout the whole mission
RAIDEN: Someone has taken out the two sentries and has taken the elevator. He's got some still.
COLONEL: You had better shoot the two guards with your M9 before they regain consciousness.
RAIDEN: *Raiden shoots the two guards with his M9 along with the guard that came down with the elevator*
Raiden sneaked around strut A and B and came to room where there was gunfire and screaming.
ALPHA TEAM 10 GUARD: HAHAHA! Look at that freak! He's so slow
VAMP: *runs around in slow motion and keeps on getting shot*
RAIDEN: How come he's still alive?
GUARD: Alpha Team 10 are using blanks because they're too stupid to use to real guns
RAIDEN: Hey what's your name? You look and sound famaliar
GUARD: Solid Snak- errr.... I mean Bob
RAIDEN: Bob?
GUARD: Hold on, lemme think of something, okay I got it! Iroquois Pliskin, Rear Admiral
RAIDEN: Pliskin?
GUARD: What's your name?
RAIDEN: Raiden
GUARD: Is that a girl's name?
RAIDEN: Shuttup
SOLDIER: Hey I wonder... *fires his gun straight up but it goes directly to the woman*
SOLDIER: That explains it! She must be Miss Fortune...err... I mean Fortune!
FORTUNE: *runs away*
SOLDIER: After her! *all the soldiers chase Fortune*
RAIDEN: *comes out after everyone left* What the heck was that all about?
STILLMAN: I am Peter Stillman, an expert water balloon disposer
RAIDEN: Water balloon?! What the hell?!
PLISKIN: *walks in* That's right, kid, a world famous water balloon disposer
STILLMAN: A man by the name of Fatman is planting water balloons all over the Big Shell
RAIDEN: So, how do you dispose of the water balloons?
STILLMAN: Pop them, but be careful, don't pop them in your face
RAIDEN: Umm okay them
RAIDEN: Reporting a disposal of all the water balloons in Big Shell
STILLMAN: Good, but it looks like there's one more in Strut E
RAIDEN: *pulls out Socom*FREEZE!!
OLGA: Who are you?
RAIDEN: I am your worst nightmare, I am truth, I am justice, I am- hey where'd she go?! Dammit!!
FATMAN: *skates up to Raiden* Ahh fine year. . .
RAIDEN: You mean you're drinking wine from 1902?
FATMAN: Close, 1901
RAIDEN: That's nasty
FATMAN: Yeah, that is kinda sick *spits out wine* Anyhow, I will now kill you with my water balloons *trips on his skates and his water balloons blow up in his face and kill him*
RAIDEN: All too easy
NINJA: I am like you, I took a crap last night- err... I mean I am like you, I beat MGS and MGS2 a million times- Damn! That's not it either
RAIDEN: *sweatdrops*
NINJA: I am like you, I have to get out of this nuthouse!!
NINJA: I am a messager from the La-Le-Li-Lo-Lu
RAIDEN: The La-pa-sna-aga?
NINJA: No, the La-Le-Li-Lo-Lu
RAIDEN: Say that three times fast
NINJA: La-Le-Li-Lo-Lu, La-Le-Li-Lo-Lu, La-- hey what the heck are trying to make me do?
RAIDEN: *shrugs* Anyhow, why have you come my way
NINJA: To give a guard uniform a free long-distance plan Nokia cellphone with an offical Metal Gear Solid faceplate
RAIDEN: Uhh... thanks *takes the stuff*
NINJA: And there is a man named Ames who knows where James Johnson is
RAIDEN: Ames?
NINJA: Yes and we have no description of him except for the fact his farts smell different than other peoples. It smells like a rose.
RAIDEN: What the hell? A rose?!
ROSE: *on codec*Yes, Jack
RAIDEN: Rose?! What the hell are you doing here?
COLONEL: I forgot to tell you I invited her along
RAIDEN: Why?
COLONEL: You'll find out soon enough...*hangs up*
RAIDEN: What was that about?
NINJA: Okay, then, there is one more thing, we know that when you hit him he moans like a girl
RAIDEN: ookay?
NINJA: *disapears*
PLISKIN: *from a helicopter* You are not Solid Snake! Die!*fires bazooka*
SOLIDUS: Solid Snake, I'm a whole different game from Liquid-he's Metal Gear Solid, I'm Metal Gear Solid 2, get it? *gets hits while talking and lands on a Harrier that is being piloted by Vamp*
RAIDEN: *fires Stinger missiles at the Harrier and blows it up*
SOLIDUS: They got my eye!! Vamp go!
VAMP: *jumps out and runs really slow and tries to run over water but falls and drowns*
RAIDEN: *on codec* Is it true? Are you THE Solid Snake, the hero of Shadow Moses?
SNAKE: You got it kid
RAIDEN: Then why did you hide it? You're a legend
SNAKE: Legend? All I did was stop a bunch of morons from launching a water balloon at Shadow Moses
RAIDEN: Yeah, but you did stop them. Alright, I gotta get back to my mission now, see ya *hangs up*
COMPUTER: Pattern not recognized, you are clear to enter
RAIDEN: What? I guess it only opens for people that aren't recognized, whoever designed that piece of crap is an idiot.
AMES: The terroists cut my intestents off
RAIDEN: Eww... so where is the Johnson?
AMES: James Johnson is located in Shell 2 core. Hurry! Get to Johnson before they make him manufactor millions of Metal Gear RAY action figures.
RAIDEN: I got it!
OCELOT: *bursts in* So, we finally meet face to face *shoots Ames*
NINJA: *jumps in the room and tries to cut Ocelot's hand off with a plastic sword*
OCELOT: Not gonna work, fool
NINJA: Oh man! *takes out M16 from out of no way and shoots Ocelot with it*
OCELOT: What the-!? *jumps away from the bullets*
NINJA: Hurry! Get out of here!
OLGA: Who? Santa Clause?
SOLIDUS: No you @$%&#**!! It's Solid Snake!
OLGA: Solid Snake? The guy who saved my worthless @$- err I mean the guy who killed my father?
SOLIDUS: Yeah, just turn the electric floor on and stupidly leave it open so someone can just shoot a remote controlled missile through the air vent.*hangs up*
JOHNSON: Who are you?
RAIDEN: Someone who has to get out of this nuthouse
JOHNSON: Where have I heard that before? Anyways, I already made Metal Gear RAY toys for them, but there's even worse news
RAIDEN: What?
JOHNSON: We are inside one, the Big Shell is Arsenal Gear, the largest hollow action figure in the world.
RAIDEN: Arsenal Gear?
JOHNSON: Switch over to yelling- err I mean codec *switches to codec*
RAIDEN: What is it?
JOHNSON: The world is ruled by twelve men, the Idiots
RAIDEN: The Idiots?
JOHNSON: Err... I mean eleven men, the Patriots
RAIDEN: The Patriots?
JOHNSON: Yes, they control who becomes president, what fanfics you read and write, what kind of things you like, and most of all, who wins the Super Bowl
RAIDEN: You mean the eleven men are the starting line-up of the Patriots and that's why they won the Super Bowl?
JOHNSON: Exactly, here take this disc, a girl named Emma Emmerich will know what to do with it, find her, and take this security card. Now there's only one more thing left to do, kill me.
RAIDEN: Why?
JOHNSON: It's in the script, stupid.
RAIDEN: *pulls out SOCOM and is about to fire*
OCELOT: *walks in and blasts Johnson* HAHAHA!! Johnson's dead. Now I am going to stupidly leave you alone when I could have killed you. See ya later, "Caterer boy"
RAIDEN: "Caterer boy"?
VAMP: *runs around in slowly and throws his rubber knives at Raiden*
RAIDEN: *shoots Vamp until he falls into the pool and dies*
RAIDEN: What the-?! *closes locker then realizes what he is doing and that he needs Emma to get out of this fanfic so he reopens the door and jumps away from the pee as it floods out*
EMMA: Who are you?
RAIDEN: I have come to get you of here, c'mon
RAIDEN: How's that possible?! Vamp didn't even touch her
SNAKE: Well, it looks like the drugs she was injected with by the terroists are kicking in and are about to kill her. Raiden, get to the computer ASAP, we gotta get her to input that disk to stop Arsenal Gear's launch.
EMMA: Goodbye, Hal, I miss you- *dies*
OTACON: *cries* *takes a parrot out of a cage and puts it on his hand*
PARROT: I miss you, Hal, I miss you
SNAKE: Umm... anyways, you got the disc
RAIDEN: Yes *hands Snake the disc*
RAIDEN: Look what it says: get a real modem and a real ISP, a 14.4K AOL modem is not supported by this virus.
OTACON: Dammit! It looks like DEAD CELL were too dumb to actually get a decent modem and ISP. It looks like you two are going to have eliminate all of DEAD CELL.
SNAKE: Otacon, you get all the hostages out, Raiden and I will go kill the rest of DEAD CELL.
OTACON: Okay, Snake
GUARD: *on announcer thingy* Solidus Snake please report to- errr I mean Arsenal Gear is ready for launch
OTACON: Dang it! They're already ready to launch Arsenal
SNAKE: Let's do this, Otacon
OTACON: You're still alive?! *fires Stringer missiles at the parrot*
PARROT: I miss y-*dies*
NINJA: *jumps out but trips and falls and breaks her mask to reveal herself to be Olga*
RAIDEN: Hey what the-?! Which side are you on?
SNAKE: The side that's not gay
RAIDEN: Shut up, Snake *gets knocked unconscious*
SOLIDUS: No just kidding, I raised you and that's why you're such a girly man right now
RAIDEN: You idiot, you used to never take to the barber shop and died my hair white, I remember you, later you tried to make me a cold blooded killing machine, but I turned out a girly man
SOLIDUS: Uhh yeah, don't remind me of that, Jack *puts his testacles on Raiden's mouth and chokes him*
RAIDEN: Hey! You can't do that this is a cinematic!
SOLIDUS: Oh yeah, that's right, dammit. Anyways, me and Ocelot are gonna make like a bannana and split! *runs off*
OLGA: *walks in* What the hell are you wearing?!
RAIDEN: *looks down* A chicken suit?! Damn Solidus!
OLGA: Anyhow, I'm getting you out of here *frees Raiden then runs off*
RAIDEN: Why do you keep saying that? This is not an RPG it's an Action game
COLONEL: Oh yeah, that's right *hangs up*
Raiden gets another call.
COLONEL: I am going to say stupid stuff. Insert stupid stuff here. LALALALALA!!! I am in really bad shape financially that's why I had to make you pay for lunch the other day, I'm really sorry.
RAIDEN: *hangs up then gets another call*
ROSE: Jack, it's me, I owe you an apology
RAIDEN: Damn right you do
ROSE: Two years ago that coincidence at Federall Hall wasn't one, I was sent to give the Patriots a scout report to see if you were good enough to be on the team
RAIDEN: You never watched me play football
ROSE: I know, I screwed up and got fired by the Patriots
RAIDEN: oookay...*hangs up*
SNAKE: It's funny seeing you running around like that
RAIDEN: Shut up, Snake
SNAKE: Sorry about earlier I had to use you as bait to gain access to Arsenal Gear. Anyways, this is a gift from Olga. *holds out sword*
RAIDEN: What the hell am I gonna do with a plastic sword?
SNAKE: No idea, I'm only giving it to you because I have no use for it
RAIDEN: Umm... thanks
SNAKE: Come on, let's go
RAIDEN: *gets a call on his codec*
OTACON: Snake? Raiden? I got all the hostages to shore
SNAKE: That's good news
RAIDEN: Otacon, I want you to find out about the Colonel
OTACON: Colonel? Sure, I'll try to trace him and find out where he is*hangs up*
RAIDEN: *gets another call*
OTACON: I found out where the Colonel is, he's inside Arsenal!
RAIDEN: What?! How's that possible, he must be AI *hangs up then gets another call*
COLONEL: They got Rose!
RAIDEN: What?!
COLONEL: Rose is being held in the holds
SNAKE: It's a trap, if the Colonel isn't real than he can't kidnap Rose
RAIDEN: Then is Rose real?
SNAKE: How am I supposed to know?
RAIDEN: How am I supposed to know what is real and what to believe in?
SNAKE: It depends on how much stupidity you have in something
RAIDEN: How much stupidity you have in something? That makes absolutely no sense at all
SNAKE: Hey! I'm working on it
SNAKE: How so?
FORTUNE: No clue, Ocelot just told me
SNAKE: Raiden, go find and kill Solidus, I'll take care of this.
OLGA: *jumps in between Raiden and the last RAY action figure*
RAIDEN: Olga! NO!!
OLGA: I know I'm going to hell, but at least my child will live, your nanomachines are transmitting your vital signs to the Patriots
RAIDEN: What the hell are you talking about? You're just fighting an action figure
SOLIDUS: *slides out but hits a bump and trips*
RAIDEN: *pulls his SOCOM out on Solidus but stupidly doesn't fire*
SOLIDUS: Jack, we have no use for you now! *pulls his gun out*
SNAKE: I've captured Fortune, she was a little too easy
SOLIDUS: Hey! *fires gun at Snake*
SNAKE: *dodges the shots*
OCELOT: *walks in* Well...
SOLIDUS: You, Fortune, were going to screw me over, you wanted to steal Arsenal Gear for your own
FORTUNE: Who talked? Ocelot?
SOLIDUS: Well, I used Ocelot to suggest the idea, I was going to give you Arsenal Gear since it was just a big piece of plastic with no weapon capabilities
OCELOT: S3 stands for Solid Snake Simulator, to make copies of the perfect soldier, Solid Snake, we used Shadow Moses so we had something to copy off of, the Ninja, Ames and the Presidents' deaths, etc. were part of the operation.
RAIDEN: So, that's why you didn't kill me when you could of when I was with the President
OCELOT: *fires gun at Fortune but it misses*
FORTUNE: How could?!!
OCELOT: You have nothing we didn't give you, do you know why no bullet could miss you?! You had a bullet magnet on you, now that I have it- oh s***!! that's not good!!
FORTUNE: *fires her gun straight up in the air and hits Ocelot*
OCELOT: *quickly turns his magnet off and turns the one on Fortune on and shoots her*
Just then, the last Metal Gear RAY action figure goes crazy and starts shooting plastic missiles at Solidus.
SOLIDUS: Damn the Patriots!! *shoots the action figure*
FORTUNE: What is it that you wanted?
SOLIDUS: A list of names of the Patriots!! I only know Tom Brady, Troy Brown, and then I get stuck....maybe I should get football cards
OCELOT: Oh ****!! Not this!!! *holds right arm*
SNAKE: What is going on?!
LIQUID INSIDE OCELOT: Hello, Snake, I am back *jumps in a real Metal Gear and fires missiles*
FORTUNE: *gets up and blocks all the missiles*
SNAKE: She is Lady Luck!
FORTUNE: *all the missiles unfortunately come back and hit her from behind and kill her*
SNAKE: Maybe not...
LIQUID INSIDE OCELOT: I'm off to destroy the Patriots *flies off*
SNAKE: Liquid! *jumps on the back of RAY
RAIDEN: They made a real Metal Gear?! They aren't that smart.
SOLIDUS: Over 200 years ago, George Washington took office as the first president of the United States, freedom could have started there, but it didn't
RAIDEN: So what?
SOLIDUS: I will lead a revolt to crush the possibility of a one-world government. We will destroy the Patriots unlike the Rams. We will become SONS OF STUPIDITY!!!
RAIDEN: What? *codec rings*
COLONEL: Are you receiving this? We're still here?
RAIDEN: What?! How is that possible?! The AI has been destroyed!!
COLONEL: We are not AI
RAIDEN: Then what are you?
COLONEL: AS
RAIDEN: AS?
COLONEL: Artificial Stupidity
RAIDEN: What?!
COLONEL: We're not what you would call human, we are far too stupid
RAIDEN: You think that someone that stupid should be able to rule the world
COLONEL: What do you think? We're stupid so we would pick a stupid answer
RAIDEN: So, that's why you guys rule the world, wait that doesn't make any sense. What does S3 really stand for?
COLONEL: Super Stupid Stupidity, so you see it was us, not you, it is all about us who were the secret leaders of the operation
RAIDEN: Umm... I'll take that as a complimate*hangs up*
SOLIDUS: *draws swords* Now, I am going to kill you my daughter!
RAIDEN: *draws sword* I am not your daughter, fool!
Solidus trips on himself and gets stabbed in the back by Raiden and dies. Raiden then jumps down the building and people start to walk around him. Suddenly, Snake puts his hand on Raiden.
RAIDEN: Who am I?
SNAKE: Nobody is quite sure who or what they are. Creations of God, or Super Stupid Stupidity...
RAIDEN: Huh?
SNAKE: Hey, what's that?
RAIDEN: Dog tags
SNAKE: Someone you know? Is Hideo Kojima too cheep to get a voice actor to pronounce the name?
RAIDEN: I guess he is. I'll pick my own name, besides I don't like the name "Super Stupid Stupidity." *throws the dog tag*
SNAKE: Otacon got a disc of the Patriots' names
RAIDEN: How did you get it?
SNAKE: It seems the Patriots are stupid and just left one in the middle of nowhere, so we have no ways of knowing it is right. You still have things to see, people to do- errr I mean people to see, things to do first.
RAIDEN: I think the first one is more accurate...*walks away and sees Rose* Who am I?
ROSE: I don't know
RAIDEN: ....
ROSE: ....
RAIDEN: uhhhh...
ROSE: See me for who I am, ok?
RAIDEN: Who are you?
ROSE: I don't know...
RAIDEN: This is ridiculous!!!
ROSE: No, it's S3
OTACON: Snake, I got the info
SNAKE: What does it say?
OTACON: The names are not the names of the 11 starters of the New England Patriots, it's just 12 guys that are still alive who sound like top secret world leaders
SNAKE: That settles it, the disc is wrong
OTACON: Yep *throws disc away*
The End
Author's Note: In my opinion, that was the longest and best fanfic I have ever written. Thank for taking your time to read it. God bless you and I hope you enjoyed it. I will be working on the next Metal Gear Hollow fanfic. -Elite Knight
