War And Peace
Chapter 6
Zechs sighed as he looked at the clock; it was twelve-thirty in the morning. He felt the small body beside him stir as he started to sit up, “Do you have to go so soon Zechs?” He leaned down and kissed Noin's forehead, “I can't stay Noin, I wish things were different but if my men need me I need to be there.” Zechs winced as he heard the tone of his voice and wondered why he had spoken so coldly to her. He felt her slim muscular arm slide off his chest as she sat up and turned away. He watched in silence as she stood up and walked to her dresser, grabbed some clothes and headed towards the bathroom. Zechs sighed and walked into the living room to retrieve his clothes. He smiled slightly when he saw their clothing lying in a pile on the floor and bent to untangled his clothing from hers. Zechs chuckled when he saw the state of her undergarments; had he been that rough, he wondered as he picked up the torn panties and bra. He dressed quickly, looking up when he heard the door to Noin's open. Zechs smiled at her sheepishly and held up her torn garments, “I'm sorry Noin, I…” He stopped when she held up her hand, “Don't be; it happens all the time.” Zechs stopped smiling as the impact of her words hit him. He was stunned, surprised, and angry all at once. He didn't know what to do; he had never been good at expressing his emotions and didn't think before blurting out the first thing that came to mind. “Oh it does, does it,” he said sarcastically, ignoring the startled look on her face, “well thanks for telling me Noin… It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has had access to you. You know it would have been nice to know that a year ago, maybe I wouldn't have felt like a total ass for leaving you and…” He was cut off as his head was jerked to one side by the force behind her hand. Zechs turned his head slowly, still reeling from the blow. This was the second time in his life that he had ever been slapped and by her no doubt. He looked down at her and was stunned at the anger in her face.
Noin looked at him and was amazed at the confusion she saw in his eyes; he honestly had no idea what he had done. “How dare you Milliardo,” she snarled, satisfied when he flinched, “what do you think I am, a whore?” Noin jabbed her finger into the hard chest, ignoring the pain, as she backed him against the wall, “You are the only one I've ever slept with, why you're more of a whore than I am judging from the rumors about you and Colonel Treize.” She stopped as she felt his fingers digging into her arms, “Enough Noin… I'm sorry ok. I didn't mean to accuse you of anything I just… with all these men surrounding you day in and day out, it's amazing to me that you haven't found someone else.” Noin refused to look up at him and remained unmoving as he pulled her into his arms, “You are not a whore, you never will be Lucrezia.” She said nothing but she could feel her resistance crumbling as he slowly stroked her back. “There is nothing between me and Treize,” she heard him whisper softly and Noin looked up at him, searching his eyes to confirm the statement. She was surprised at the hurt she saw in the icy depths and reached up to caress his face, “I'm sorry to Milliardo.” Noin leaned forward and nuzzled her face against his chest as she wrapped her arms around him. They held each other for the longest time before Zechs pulled away. Noin released him and bent to pick up his mask. Shining the metal headpiece she whispered softly, “I guess if you're going back to your room you're going to need this.” Smiling as she reached up and placed it on his head, “I wouldn't want anyone else to see how gorgeous you are beneath that thing or else I might have some competition.” Noin felt her heart lighten as Zechs grinned and leaned forward to kiss her. Noin found the cold of the metal and the heat from his lips a very arousing combination and let Zechs know it. She groaned when he pulled away and kissed her on the forehead. “I'll see you later Lucrezia,” he whispered and with one last kiss he left. Noin sighed and bent to pick up her boots. She sat on the couch and pulled them on with the intention of going to go help watch for the gundam but with-in minutes her head had dropped to her chest and she was fast asleep.
Zechs walked silently to his room, his eyes peeled for any sign of trouble. He was relieved that he had worked things out with Noin; he knew he would need her support and friendship in the days to come. What bothered him though was her referral to the rumors about Treize and him. Zechs had been livid the first time he had been accused of being Treize's lover; they were just friends and frankly Zechs found the idea of fucking his commanding officer disgusting. Treize found it amusing but Zechs still found himself getting angry every time a jealous low ranking officer referred to him as “Treize's pet”. Enough of that, he scolded himself as he made his way towards his room, besides what difference did it make what they thought, the only one whose opinion he gave a damn about was Noin's. Zechs opened the door to his quarters and sighed as he slipped the stuffy uniform jacket; it had felt so good to hold her again. He groaned as he discarded the rest of his clothing and settled beneath the cool sheets. Zechs hugged the pillow to him as he turned to his side. He smiled as he drifted off to sleep and wished Noin, and not the pillow, was in his arms.
Noin awoke with a start as a loud explosion and alarm sounded. She jumped up from the couch and ran towards the door as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. “What is it? What's happening?” Noin shouted as she opened the door, blinded momentarily by the bright red flashing light. A soldier shouted that they had been attacked and that the pilots' dormitory had been hit the worst. Noin felt a knot of emotion constrict her throat as she ran towards the pilot's rooms. The thick cloud of smoke and dust choked her lungs as she came closer and the stench of death and burnt flesh hung in the air. Noin choked back the sob that threatened to escape her as she assessed the damage. Most of her soldiers appeared to have been killed instantly bit there were a few who were moaning in agony. She approached the one nearest to her and held him as he grunted out that all he had wanted to do was go into space. Noin fought the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes and shouted into the corridor angrily, “Find the enemy, and attack them at once, destroy them all! We are expecting a mobile suit battle. Leos lead the pack. The enemy should be close by. She gasped as the young man in her eyes fell forward and she felt the last breath of air leave his body. Noin laid his head down gently and ran towards the command tower. “How is Lt. Zechs,” she asked one of the soldiers manning the tower and breathed a sigh of relief when he reported that he was fine. Noin grabbed the microphone and ordered that the Taurus suits were to be loaded and ready for transportation as soon as possible. She gritted her teeth when the soldier informed her that it would take thirty minutes to load the suits, “You've got to hold off the enemy for thirty minutes. I'll take command of the mobile suit troops.” Noin hurried toward her Aries listening to her men on the radio; they couldn't see anything. As she climbed into her suit and idea came to mind, “Bring up the heat sensor images on this screen.” Noin scanned the area closely looking for any sign of a possible enemy. “There he is,” she mumbled and prepared to launch her suit, “get some Aries over here; only those closest by.” Noin could feel the adrenaline pumping through her as she piloted her suit towards the image on the heat sensor. She traveled low to the ground and left the cover of the trees. She was right on top of a motorcycle and she warned the person to stop. She hated killing and was loath to do so, but realized that the young man on the bike could be leading her towards the gundam. She informed the tower that there was a chance that there could be a gundam up ahead and to go ahead and bring the space laser. Noin aimed her gun to the side of the bike and fired. She watched in horror as the young man flew high into the air and landed on the ground. She landed her suit only a few feet away and aimed her gun at the young man as he stood up. Noin asked him why he had attacked the soldiers instead of the mobile suits and was surprised when the young man drew himself up to his full height and insulted her. Her jaw was slack when she realized that the young man was only about fourteen or fifteen years old. So great was her surprise that she forgot for a minute that the young man had just up an entire pilot dormitory and failed to catch the movement of his feet. Noin shielded her eyes as a bright flash of light filled her vision and mentally kicked herself as she watched the young man hop onto his bike and speed away. She focused her attention on the screen as she searched for the young man and was surprised when a loud sound erupted behind her. She turned her Aries and was surprised to find a huge mobile suit emerging from the tops of the canopy. She charged the young man and was startled as one of the Aries pilots called out to her that they were locked on target. “Don't shoot,” she called out and watched in horror as the gundam's pilot destroyed both of the suits. “Damn you,” she cursed angrily as she attempted to dodge the gundam's attack on her. Noin gritted her teeth as her suit plummeted to the ground.
Zechs' heart was slamming in his chest, Noin's suit had disappeared from radar and visions of her suit exploding kept filling his mind. He prayed that he was wrong as he paced around the runways. Visions of his lost soldiers filled his mind, as did the newfound discovery that those who saw a gundam rarely lived to tell about it. Zechs was sick with worry and he fought the urge to panic. He had arrived just as the two Aries she had ordered to bring the laser cannon left. It had taken everything he had not to go after her, to save her from an almost certain death, but he knew that if he did that she would never forgive him. Zechs looked up in surprise as he heard one of the technicians give the order to go ahead and move the Taurus. He ran up the stairs and glared at the young man, “The enemy isn't headed way. There is no need to panic.” Zechs was surprised when the young man ordered him to move his aircraft and then threatened to get him court-martialed. He replied calmly, his voice as cold as he spoke to the insolent young man, “I'm much more composed than you are right now. If one makes a decision with a clear head, he won't find himself regretting that decision later on.” Even as he spoke the carrier that had just lifted off was blown out of the sky. He watched as the smoke cleared and was startled as a weak voice came over the speakers. It was Noin, she was alive. Zechs grabbed the microphone and ordered two of the remaining Aries to go and retrieve Noin's suit.
Noin closed her eyes as she felt another wave of pain go through her body. The young pilots words still played in her mind. He had called her weak and she was. She had allowed those two young men to be massacred and her guilt weighed heavy on her soul. The young man had let her go, let her live, because she had been weak and it ate at her. Noin blinked back the tears as she remembered the scattered bodies of her soldiers and knew that her pain was nothing compared to theirs. She kept her eyes closed as her suit was gently placed on the ground and opened them in surprise when she heard Zechs' deep voice asking if she was all right. Noin couldn't even face him as she opened the suit's hatch. After a moments silence she said, “Yeah, just feeling a little beat-up inside and out.” “Noin, I'm just so grateful that you are alive.” Noin looked up, surprised by the unfamiliar emotion in his voice. She accepted the hand he offered her and stepped out of the battered suit. When he didn't release her hand, she looked up at him and was startled by the seriousness of his look. Noin attempted to make light of the situation and said, “You're just saying that cause if I died I'd get a two-rank promotion.” She looked back down when he didn't even crack a smile. She felt the fingers around hers tighten and she looked up at him, “You've got nothing to worry about with that sense of humor.” Noin sighed and closed her eyes; she could still see the explosion that had taken so many of her men's lives. It was her fault they had died, she had failed them. Anger filled her and she looked at Zechs, “Listen, you've got to let me fight the enemy with you. I want to retrain, get stronger.” Noin could see nothing in his face as he looked down at her but his voice told her that he didn't truly want her to go with him and pulled her hand away. She looked away as the high pitch wail of a siren filled the air and his name escaped her lips. “I'd be happy if you'd work alongside me Noin,” she heard him whisper softly and she smiled slightly, “I'd be happy too, thank you.” Even if it was a lie, she wasn't going to turn down the chance to be with him. The wail of another siren pulled her from her thoughts and she brushed past Zechs and made her way down the suit.
Zechs watched her walk towards the medical building. He had been somewhat disappointed by her reaction or lack there of. He had made the request as a way of distracting her mind from her soldiers but it hadn't worked. Zechs caught one of the technicians looking at him and he pulled his gaze away from Noin's retreating form. He exited the mobile suit and took the same path that she had taken. He wanted to be there for her when she found out just how bad the young man's attack had been. He had already seen the numbers and knew that Noin would be devastated when she found out that more than seventy percent of her men were dead. She had been close to breaking down and Zechs had seen the unshed tears in her eyes as she watched the ambulance make it's way towards the medical building. He knew she blamed herself for their deaths and Zechs couldn't let her take that kind of guilt, he knew better than most how it would eat at her and she didn't need the added stress. Besides she was hurt. Zechs had seen the slight limp as she walked away and unless someone said something she wouldn't go to the doctor. He climbed into the jeep and drove towards the hospital. He saw her just as he walked through the door. She was sitting down, her eyes closed. Zechs approached her and sat down beside her. It was difficult to believe that just a few hours earlier they had… Zechs cleared his mind of those thoughts, now wasn't the time for memories. He ignored the stares as he put his arm around her and drew her close. He winced as she stiffened from his touch but leaned forward anyway, “Noin are you ok?” Zechs was confused when she turned away, “Noin, what's wrong?” He was startled when she jerked away from his touch, “What's wrong, my men are dead Lieutenant and I'm responsible.” Zechs started to pull her back to him only to have his hand thrown off. He watched as she turned, stiffened her back and walked away.
Noin cursed herself silently as she wiped the tears from her eyes that refused to go away. Her entire body ached with pain and grief; she had been responsible for those men, their lives had been in her hands and she had let them down. Noin glanced down the darkened hallway and wondered where she was. It didn't matter; she didn't want to be around anyone, not even him. “Zechs,” she sighed out loud as she rested against the wall. “Why couldn't you just hold me, or are you ashamed of me too,” she whispered softly and closed her eyes. “Never Noin,” a deep voice echoed through the hall, jerking her away from her thoughts. The person didn't give her time to react and Noin felt herself crushed in a strong embrace. The long platinum hair that fell around her reassured any doubts as to the person's identity and Noin could feel the walls; she had built up to hide her grief, begin to crumble in his embrace. Her tears fell and her sobs grew stronger as Zechs whispered in her ear that it wasn't her fault and that nobody blamed her. Noin had no idea how long he had held her before she stopped but the dark stain on his jacket was almost dry. She looked up at him and was surprised that he was without his mask. She closed her eyes as he leaned forward and kissed away the remnants of her tears. “You scared the hell out of me today Lucrezia,” she felt him whisper against her cheek. Noin bent her head down and rested it against his forehead. They stayed like that awhile until Zechs pulled away. She was still as he brushed her long bangs back away from her face and looked up at him when he rose to his feet. Noin took the hand he offered her and kept hold even after he had pulled her to her feet. She glanced over his face one last time before bending down to retrieve the silver mask beside his feet. She handed it to him and watched as he once again covered his god-like face. As she turned to go Noin was pulled back against him, his lips against her ear. She shivered when his warm breath tickled her, “At the meeting let me explain to headquarters what happened Noin.” Noin partially turned her head and looked at him curiously, “What meeting Zechs?” “Headquarters is demanding an explanation as to what happened here. They want to know everything that transpired, what happened to the soldiers, the mobile suits, the gundam, everything.” Noin closed her eyes, “You mean they want to know what I did don't you.” “Yes Noin, that's why you need to let me speak on your behalf at the meeting,” he whispered gently and Noin smiled up at him. She wanted nothing more than to let him take the burden from her but it had been her responsibility not his and her pride refused to bend to him. “No Lt. Zechs, it was my fault not yours and I'm not letting you take the blame.” Noin heard him growl deep in his throat before finding herself turned around and pressed back against the wall. “Stop using my title when we are alone Noin and as I stated before the events that transpired here were no one's fault. You couldn't have known that he would attack your soldiers in their sleep nor could you have predicted that he was just a boy, hell Noin, even I would have hesitated to kill a child,” he growled forcefully and Noin turned her head away as tears began to feel her eyes. “That isn't what I blame myself for Zechs, the deaths of the two soldiers a ordered to back down are my fault. If I hadn't been so soft and weak then they would still be alive,” she whispered softly and closed her eyes to his intense gaze. She opened them when she felt his calloused palm against her cheek, “Noin even if your men had managed to get a direct hit the gundam would not have been destroyed. I too learned the gundam's impact resistance the hard way; only I lost five of my men not two. Noin those two soldiers would have died in the end, I'm just grateful that I didn't lose you as well.” She looked up at his masked face and bit her lip. Zechs was never like this and Noin knew that she had indeed scared him when she had gone after the gundam. “In the end it doesn't matter Zechs, it is still my fault,” she said stubbornly and was surprised when he smiled slightly. “Somehow I knew you would say something like that Noin,” he said softly before releasing her, “come on the meeting is in a few minutes.” Noin allowed herself to be led down the halls and towards the main building before pulling away and walking on her own.
Zechs closed his eyes as he listened to Noin's recount of events. Somehow she managed to lay all the blame on herself and he was tired of it. At this rate her military career would be over and she would be lucky if charges weren't brought against her. Zechs interrupted her when she tried to blame herself for the deaths of her men. He illustrated the events, coldly absolving her of any blame and explained to the inquisition about the resistance of the gundam's armor. He ignored the cold glare he was receiving from Noin across the room and answered headquarters questions even a few of the ones directed towards her. Zechs sighed as the representative from headquarters promised to get back to them sometime the next day and cut the connection. He turned to look at Noin and was surprised by the animosity in her eyes. “I'm sorry Noin but I'm not going to let you bury yourself and take undeserved blame,” he said gently, stepping towards her. He was stopped by a firm hand against his chest, “Lt. Zechs you once told me that you didn't want us to treat each other differently in the presence of others so what the hell was that. You didn't let me answer a thing; instead you take it upon yourself to explain everything away. I have a voice and I did not ask for your help,” she yelled angrily and Zechs was silent as he watched her chest heave. He looked down and closed his eyes; they had changed so much. Noin had never yelled at him like this and he had never strove to protect her. Zechs started to say something but stopped as the door opened. A young soldier stepped through and handed Noin a stack of papers. Zechs smiled, her orders had gone through. He watched Noin glance over them and smiled when she looked over at him in surprise. He had known that she thought his hasty promise empty and the surprised look on her face had been well worth calling in a few favors. “Get you some sleep Noin,” he ordered gently as he closed the distance between them. He looked up, making sure the door was closed, before lowering his lips to hers. Zechs felt the breath hiss through her teeth and took advantage of her parted lips. He heard the papers drop to the floor as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. He pulled back slowly, and watched as she opened her eyes to look at him. Zechs leaned forward and kissed the smooth skin of her forehead, “We are scheduled to leave tomorrow at 0900 hours.” He looked down at her, kissed her gently, “I'll see you in the morning Noin.” “Goodnight Zechs,” she whispered and he watched as she moved towards the door. Zechs smiled as she turned and whispered thank you before exiting the room. He sat there for a while playing the events of the day over in his mind. Zechs breathed a sigh of relief and thanked God that she was still with him. He gathered his things and started towards his room to get his own night's rest.
