One day I’ll find them.
The right words to tell their story. For now I can only try. Put
it down on paper. So I won’t forget. Because I was there.
All the time. Though they didn’t know. They couldn’t
see me most of the time. But I was there. And I’d like to
think that I played an important role in bringing them together.
It’s my reward. And it’s worth the price I had to pay
for it. To never see them or talk to them again. Because now we
belong to two different worlds. We always did, and I guess my
role was to make sure they did not stay permanently in mine. They
did not deserve it. Neither of them. Too much good in those two
souls, they’d never make good vampires. They’d let
themselves die rather than to feed on human blood. I had to help
them.
Her name was Lucrezia. A doctor. A teacher. The ultimate good
person, always there for anyone who needed a hand… or a
shoulder to cry on. She was a virgin, too. The perfect prey for
any of us.
In fact, even the youngest among us know there’s nothing
like the blood of a virgin to keep us alive. And strong. It was
one of the youngest that got her. All she needed to do was to
look vulnerable, which is easily done when you are a skinny
little rugrat with big dark eyes. A lost child. That’s what
Lucrezia must have thought when Hilde walked up to her. Wounded.
It was only natural that she offered her help. Nice acting, that
Hilde… too scared to go to the hospital, there were people
after her, and they’d kill her if they found her. Lucrezia
knew it all too well, what it’s like to be a child caught in
the middle of a war, running for her life. No wonder she took her
in. She took her to her apartment. Medicated her wounds. Told her
not to be scared any more. And Hilde played along. She fell
asleep on her bed, and Lucrezia sat on a chair and watched over
her, measuring her temperature every once in a while. Stroking
her hair whenever she tossed and turned, thinking she must be
having nightmares.
Then at midnight she opened her eyes all of a sudden. Sat up on
the bed. It was time. Lucrezia asked her if she was feeling
alright, if there was anything she could do. And she replied with
her innocent, childish voice that, no, it was just a bad dream
she had… She could have used a hug, though… if she
didn’t mind. She said that Lucrezia looked a lot like her
mother. That she missed her a lot. That she had seen her die in
her arms. How could she not fall for that? Someone like her…
who would have given her life for her students… and her
patients. She went and sat on the bed and took that child in her
arms. Stroked her back as Hilde pretended to cry for her lost
childhood. Believed it was all real. Right up until the moment
when she felt the bite on her neck. She barely had enough time to
utter the words, “Hilde, what are you doing? Who are
you?” before passing out.
She woke up one of us. Here, inside the castle. At night. Her
skin paler, her lips somewhat darker. Her eyes dead.
Disillusioned. Confused. Didn’t know what had happened to
her. Why she was feeling so weak all of a sudden, like she could
barely stand. Like she hadn’t eaten anything in days. I was
there and I told her. That she shouldn’t have helped that
girl. That from now on she would be a vampire like her. And like
me. She didn’t believe me at first.
She said, “This is insane. How do you even expect me to
believe that? Even children know vampires don’t exist. You
know what? I’m outta here!” She fell to the floor as
she stood up. I helped her up and told her to drink from the
goblet I gave her. She’d feel better. She’d regain her
strengths. Then she could leave if she still wished to do so. She
took it in her hands and looked up at me.
“What is it?” she asked, glancing at the red liquid
inside. “No, never mind that,” she said, pushing the
goblet away. “First tell me who you are, and why I’m
here, and what’s all this vampire nonsense you keep talking
about. And where’s the little girl? You’re the one
who’s after her… what did you do to her?”
I had to reassure her that Hilde was just fine. She was out
hunting… you know, she’s a growing child. Huge
appetite. I told her she could call me Lady Une. I’d be her
mentor until she settled in with her new life. I told her
she’d do just fine once she got used to the idea. And to the
rules that keep us alive. Like locking herself inside before the
sun rises, and not opening the blinds until it has set. Like her
new diet of human blood.
“Is that what this is?” she asked, picking up the
goblet again. Yes, that was it. She was a doctor, she should have
known what blood looks like. Virgin blood. The best out there.
Really hard to find, these days.
She was horrified. She dropped it, and the precious liquid
spilled onto the floor. She gathered all her strength, got up and
made a run for the door, wanting to leave this absurd place. She
only made it half-way through the corridor before losing her
strengths and passing out again.
Treize helped me carry her back to bed. She’s quite a bit
taller than me, so I had to ask him as soon as he got back from
hunting. He was upset when I told him she had spilled the virgin
blood.
Reminded me I had the same reaction when I woke up the first
time; that he had offered me the goblet and I had thrown it at
him. I should have expected that. And used regular blood for
starters.
She eventually drank. She was still passed out, or she would have
pushed me away. I made her sit up and I put the goblet to her
lips. She turned away, still not opening her eyes. Her breath
still shallow. I had my arm behind her back, supporting her in
that position. I slid my hand upwards so I could touch her face.
Pushed it slightly so she was facing the goblet again. She
didn’t try to resist. She must have known she was gonna die
if she hadn’t drank. Her lips opened up as the liquid
touched them. She still wouldn’t open her eyes to look at
me. Her cheeks immediately regained some colour. Her breath
became deeper, more natural. She was gonna be alright.
I let her lie down again, and she turned her back at me. Buried
her face in the pillow so I wouldn’t see the tears. Kept
saying, “What have I done? I’m lost now…”. I
left her alone for a while. She had a lot to process in her head.
But I knew if she made it, she would be my friend for ever. Or
she would hate me for ever for not letting her die. I guess I
never realized the magnitude of the risk Treize had taken with me
until I had to take the same risk with Lucrezia. He had loved me
right from the first moment he caught sight of me. In order to be
with me, he had to make me like him; he had to accept the risk
that I would hate him for that.
Instead, I loved him all the more for taking me away… making
me immortal… invulnerable. But why would Lucrezia want to be
my friend? Unlike me, she loved her life. And now she had to
start from scratch. When I came back to her room, she was
standing by the window. She didn’t even turn around. She
asked me why I was doing this. I said I would start training her
the following night. She turned around. Enraged. But she
couldn’t say a word. I knew it, right then and there, that
she had wanted to die. That she blamed me. But she didn’t
hate me.
It had been two weeks already. She would go out hunting at night,
but I don’t think she ever really hunted at all. That’s
what she told us. So we wouldn’t worry about her starving
herself. But I knew. She kept getting paler and paler. Hilde had
told her about vampires that managed to survive for a while just
by preying on small animals. Squirrels, foxes… even cats and
dogs.
I knew she wanted to die rather than live as a vampire, so every
once in a while I’d sneak into her room when she was
sleeping and I’d feed her when she was too weak to fight me.
Treize knew all along, but pretended not to know. I guess he had
sensed I was getting attached to her. I’d never really had
friends before her. So one night I followed her. Unseen. I was
right, she couldn’t even bring herself to kill a
squirrel… let alone attack a human being.
I felt selfish all of a sudden. She wasn’t meant for this.
She’d never accept it. Unless she found a reason to live.
Someone to live for, maybe.
It was past midnight. She had wandered through the park
surrounding the castle which, by now, was more like a forest. It
had been almost 15 years since anyone lived in here… anyone
human, that is. No one had even dared going through the gates
ever since the Peacecraft family was exterminated. This had been
their summer residence. She wandered aimlessly, probably
contemplating just that. Imagining the five-year-old heir to the
throne, prince Mirialdo, playing in this same park with his
little sister.
I could tell she wasn’t in the least interested in hunting.
She just wanted to be outside. It must have been so hard for her,
knowing she wouldn’t see the sun ever again. She walked all
the way up the trail that leads to the lookout. The spot where
king Benjamin had proposed to his wife Katerina.
Then she stopped. Petrified. There was someone. A tall, handsome
stranger with hair the colour of the moon. Leaning against the
railing. Looking so sad. The cool autumn breeze was blowing his
long strands of hair away from his face. Sad blue eyes. Ice blue.
Veiled with tears that he was struggling to hold within. Biting
his lips.
Lucrezia could not move. Did not want him to see her. Did not
want to interrupt his thoughts. Or scare him away. But she
couldn’t bring herself to turn around and walk away.
Mesmerized by the beautiful sight of this young man praying in
the moonlight. Oh, I knew that look right away. I’d seen it
in my very own eyes. For Treize. The love of my life.
My friend was utterly fascinated, completely taken by the
handsome stranger with the sad eyes. Maybe if I let the branches
move, made just enough noise for him to turn around and see
her… Maybe it could happen… her wanting to live. That I
thought, and so I did.
He heard me. He knew it right away that it couldn’t have
been the wind, so he turned around slowly and responded to the
threatening noise with a “Who’s there? Show
yourself.”
She gasped, just as he set his eyes on her. He looked surprised.
Almost felt stupid for feeling threatened by a young woman. So
pretty, too. And so pale, she looked like the wind was keeping
her on her feet.
He took a step towards her, extending his right arm and parting
his lips in a hint of a smile. She looked panicked. Yet her eyes
couldn’t let go. He took another step. And another. Closer
to her; if he had reached out he could have probably touched her
arm.
“Hi… Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” he
muttered, blushing and trying not to scare her away. “Do you
live here?”, he continued. She took a deep breath. That guy
was a virgin. I was positive she could sense that. Lovely white
neck, too. If I hadn’t got my prey already, I would have
attacked him for sure. He was tall and well-built. Treize would
have been so proud of me if I’d brought home such a trophy.
Could have supplied us with prime-quality, genuine virgin blood
for quite a while. A real life bank.
All of a sudden, here I was, expecting my protégée to first
kiss him, then sink her teeth in his elegant neck.
“Go for it, Lucrezia, drink to your new life,” I
cheered for her in silence, “show me I haven’t failed
in training you.”
As soon as he was close enough to touch her shoulder, she sprang
like a deer. Not on him, though. In the other direction. Running
from him like the wind. Her thin, muscular legs propelling her
forward with a strength I had no clue was still in her. So pale,
and yet so determined to run. And to keep running until he’s
too exhausted and he gives up following her, or begging her to
wait,
“Please… I just wanna know your name. Don’t be
scared.” I lost sight of her for a while. Too fast for me.
Wandered a while, thinking to myself I was a fool for believing
she would give in to her survival instinct and attack him. I
found her again a while later at the creek. She was still
flustered from the race. Sitting down with her back resting
against the weeping willow. Breathing rapidly, her eyes closed,
her head tilted back. Moonlit. I knew she was hating herself.
What I wasn’t sure is, was she hating herself more for the
urge she had felt to bite that neck, or for feeling attracted to
him? Or for running from a golden opportunity… maybe even
disappointing me and Treize… her mentors. She dipped her
hands in the icy water and ran them on her face, and through her
hair, and all the way down her neck and shoulders. I heard her
pray,
“Oh, God, I don’t wanna hurt him. He’s so…
handsome, and kind. I have to make sure he leaves this place and
never comes back. So he’ll be safe. From me, and from
everyone else in here. He’s in way too much danger.”
“Ah, Lucrezia, you’ll never make a good vampire,”
I thought, “You’re determined to destroy yourself
rather than hurt anyone. Especially if they happen to be young
and handsome.”
That night I returned home resigned to the idea that she
wouldn’t let anything happen to that guy as long as he was
here. So I said no word about his presence to Treize. And hoped
he hadn’t run into him yet. I’d seen that guy exit the
park with my own two eyes, but that didn’t mean he was safe.
He could have bumped into him on his way back to his bed and
breakfast, and he would have been toast. Treize can smell a
virgin from a mile away, and can take on anyone. I was also
resigned to taking care of her that night. That run had left her
completely drained and unable to oppose me.
She woke up in the afternoon. She was still so frazzled that she
almost opened the blinds before sunset and killed us all. So I
took her aside and had a talk with her before Treize had a chance
to take notice of her strange behaviour. I didn’t want to
reveal to her just yet that I’d been following her around.
So I asked her if I’d ever told her how Treize and I met. My
goal was to let her know that it is possible for a vampire to
love a human being, yet I wanted to do so without letting on that
I knew about the handsome stranger. She smiled and said ours was
a beautiful love story, and that she envied us for what we
shared, but she also added that right now she was still having a
hard time adjusting and she could not imagine putting a loved one
through the same thing. I replied that she had to give herself a
chance first. To be happy again. That it was possible. And that
she was so pretty it wouldn’t be hard for her to find a
soulmate. She rolled her eyes and smiled, and went,
“Me… find a soul mate… among vampires? Don’t
take it personally, but I doubt it.” I told her about when I
was still human. And I met Treize. I told her when and if it
happened, it would be her lover’s choice. He’d be the
one begging her to make him like her. So they can be together.
She wouldn’t be putting him through anything he did not ask
her to. And she would be there to help him through the tougher
times, the adjustment and training. She should consider that.
Maybe she’d see her life in a more positive light.
I followed her again that same night. Out in the forest, where
she knew no human being would go. Except him. She had a feeling
he’d be back. He had been so intrigued by her mystery that
he was determined to know who she was. He had followed her for so
long that she had doubted she could outrun him. He was gonna come
back. And he was gonna be in danger again. Of running into Treize
or me or Hilde. She had to get to him first and warn him. To run
and never come back. Leave the town, leave the area. And never go
looking for trouble again. But how would he believe her?
He was there. Standing exactly in the same spot. Waiting for her
to appear to him again, out of nowhere, like the night before.
Only, now the expectation was becoming unbearable. After all, she
might not even come at all. Which, to him, made sense, since he
was sure he had scared her to death the night before. Yet, he
couldn’t help going there again. Hoping she would come. As
crazy as it seemed to him, he wanted to believe in that gut
feeling that had directed his steps to the lookout. He kept
turning around every time the wind shook a branch, and then
feeling stupid for even hoping.
It had gotten to the point where he was no longer sure he had
seen her at all… it could have been his imagination playing
tricks on him. His eyes seeing what was not there, just because
of the emotional state of upheaval he was in to start with. Just
because he was there, in that park that he had known so well as a
child. Fifteen years later. His parents, and his sister, and his
kingdom gone. His name, gone, too. Then she called to him.
“Mirialdo…” Startled, he turned around. Stared in
amazement for a while before he could gather up his breath to ask
how she knew his name. She stepped closer and replied he looked a
lot like his father, the late king.
“I’m sorry I scared you last night” was all he
could utter, perfectly aware of how stupid that must have sounded
to her. She smiled. He kind of felt like the five-year-old prince
again. As though he was talking to an elf or a fairy. Silly, he
was almost twenty. But this young woman, there was something
surreal about her.
“Mirialdo, you have to leave this place,” she started,
speaking so low that I could barely hear. She didn’t want
anyone to find him. He asked why, and was she trying to protect
him from some kind of danger. She said he just had to trust her,
she couldn’t explain. He understood she was there to save
him from something. He took her hand and let her lead him back
onto the trail. Then he stopped abruptly. Still not letting go of
her fingers. Closing his hand around them tighter.
“Can I just know your name?” he asked her.
“No. Just go… please. For your own good, “ she
muttered, unable to meet his eyes. Too blue. Too intense to look
at. She knew if she so much as stared back at them she would have
given in.
“Then please come with me…”, he wasn’t ready
to let her disappear just yet.
“I can’t…” she bit her lips, trying to look
away.
“Just for a moment… please. Then I’ll never be
back if you don’t want me to.” He had now reached for
her other hand, and had entwined his fingers with hers, gently
pulling her closer. Oh, that weird and wonderful feeling in your
chest. I remember that so well, I still get it. Therefore, I
recognize it right away in other people’s eyes. I saw it so
clearly in theirs that night. When she looked up at him. Their
faces so close they could feel each other breathe in and out.
When his right hand started playing with hers. His thumb trailing
all the way down hers, then up and around her palm, then down
again to her wrist. Slowly circling around that sensitive spot
where it becomes one with the palm. She was now staring at the
ground, struggling with herself, gathering up the conviction to
tell him to stop, even though she would have wanted him to never
let go of her. He did not lower his eyes. Kept holding her
captive. Kept waiting for her to draw him closer or push him away
and run… like the other night. He’d never seen anyone
run like that. Like she knew the forest so well, whereas he kept
stumbling in the dark. Roots, rocks, slippery gravel… he
must have fallen at least five times… but she was flying
through the darkness like some forest creature.
“Can I know your name?” he got closer and whispered in
her ear. His neck so close she thought she could hear the
pulsations of his jugular. Too much to take in, the closeness
with him, and she did not want to hurt him. She shook her head
and took a step back, only to find herself leaning against the
trunk of a large oak tree.
“Please… at least your name… if I must never see
you again,” he said, almost with resignation. Still
caressing her with his eyes. Still not letting go of her hands.
She closed her eyes and let herself get close to his ear. She
felt him let go of her hands and place his around her waist. Ever
so gently.
“It’s Lucrezia,” she whispered, “Now please
go. Before they find you.”
“They… who?” he asked, still not understanding
what exactly the danger was if he let himself linger in that
place, with her, just a little longer.
“Those who live here. They… don’t like
trespassers,” she fumbled, knowing she was going to have to
tell him, and he wasn’t going to believe her.
“I thought nobody lived here… well, ever since my
family…” he replied, getting more and more intrigued by
her mysterious ways.
“We do,” she said, thinking to herself, ‘Here we
go. Gotta tell him now.’ “Vampires,” she blurted
out after one deep breath. He moved back a bit so he could look
at her eyes, and chuckled,
“Vampires?! You’re amazing…” Then he leaned
closer and his lips brushed against her cheek. “Your
imagination is just as wild as mine. I like that,” he
whispered, his lips tickling her ear lobe.
She felt her resistance falter. Her hands were trembling, her
knees felt weak, her ears were ringing with his voice, her whole
self was aching to be with him. He started moving downward,
letting his lips brush against the line of her jaw, then her
neck, then along her collar bone. Tickling her skin, but not
attempting to kiss her just yet. His fingertips were trailing up
her arms, light as feathers,
starting from her wrists, all the way up to the inner sides of
her elbows, her forearms, and the tips of her shoulders.
She wanted to speak, but could not get any air to her vocal
chords… her breath trembling like the rest of her. Why did
it have to be him? So handsome, so intoxicating, so everything
she had always wanted in the soul mate she could never find. Why
now that she couldn’t be with him? Not without hurting him.
She gasped, just as he was working his way back up to her neck
and her lips.
Just as he brushed agaist the corner of her mouth with his. She
had heard something stir. She placed her hands on his shoulders,
pushed him back all of a sudden, and hushed him as soon as he
started apologizing for going too fast. Treize.
“Don’t move. Don’t make a sound,” she
whispered as low as she could. From the lower end of the trail,
Treize called out to her, asking if she had found a prey. She was
quick at replying that no, they weren’t gonna find anything
in there. He kept inquiring about a noise he’d heard. She
tried really hard not to panick as he walked up the trail, and
replied it was just a fox he’d heard. That seemed to satisfy
his curiosity. He stopped and started walking back towards the
castle, and added,
“Oh, by the way, Luke… don’t worry about hunting
tonight… I got us a little girl downtown. She’ll
do.”
Lucrezia closed her eyes, tilted her head back against the tree,
and let out a sigh of relief. Then she let her back slide down
the trunk, and she sat at the bottom, with her knees raised, her
head between her hands.
“Oh, God…why? Why do you allow this?” she let out,
fighting back the tears that were stinging her eyes. Mirialdo
understood. She must have spoken the truth. He had to leave if he
wanted to stay alive. Yet, he couldn’t feel scared.
“Are you one of them, too?” he asked, laying a hand on
her head and caressing her hair to comfort her. She raised her
eyes to him. He would believe her now.
“Yes,” she said, swallowing her tears, “Now run.
Before it’s too late. Go, get out of this town.”
Instead, he knelt in front of her. “You didn’t hurt me.
Why?” he asked.
“Just go.” Her voice sounded harsh now, and her eyes
had taken a cold expression behind that veil of tears. He
wouldn’t move. “Go! Do it, damit! Get outta here!”
In her voice he read frustration, pain, anger… at him, who
would not let himself be saved.
‘She cares about me,’ he thought, and he immediately
knew. It all made sense to him. That he couldn’t let go of
her like that. That they had met for a reason. That it was so
much more than just explosive physical attraction. They were
meant to be.
“I’ll leave if you come with me,” he said in a
resolute tone, as he took her hands into his.
“I can’t. You know that now. I can’t be with you
because you are human.” He lowered his eyes and muttered,
“I see. How arrogant of me… I thought you felt the same
way I did. But you can’t fall in love with me.”
“Mirialdo, I do… feel the same way. God knows I wish I
didn’t have to do this. But that’s exactly why I
can’t let you stay. I’d hurt you. And I don’t want
to do that. Ever,” she replied, trying to think rationally
of all the good reasons she had for sending him away and never
seeing him again.
“Then make me one of yours, and you won’t hurt me any
more,” he exclaimed. He talked with a calm, convincing tone.
Only, his eyes betrayed his emotional turmoil. “Because
I’m not gonna be able to forget you, and if you really
don’t want to hurt me, you won’t make me go through
that. You’ll let me be with you.” She got up abruptly,
and looked at him reproachfully.
“Trust me, you don’t wanna go through what I’ve
had to. I’m not gonna put you through that.” “Then
someone else in this place will be glad to take care of that for
me. I’ll just go knock and ask someone to make me a vampire,
since you won’t.”
She turned around, panicked, and screamed, “No!”,
fearing for his life. “You don’t know what you’re
saying. Please, just leave now,” she begged him. He walked
up to her, and pulled her close. Wrapped his arms around
her… tightly. She thought he was saying goodbye, and felt
herself die inside. She could hear his heart beat. Strong,
rhythmic… annihilating. And then he spoke again.
“You’re right. I don’t know what I’m getting
myself into. All I know is the way you made me feel tonight. And
that I wanna be with you. Love you. Be part of your life. I know
I want that so bad that I’m willing to accept everything
that goes along with it. And I can tell you want it too. So
please let me.” He pulled his hair aside and exposed himself
to her.
“There is no going back,” she warned him, giving him a
last chance to change his mind, but hoping inside that he’d
choose to stay with her. He did not disappoint her.
He smiled, and whispered, “I love you, Lucrezia. No going
back on that, either.”
“I love you too,” she replied, tightening her hold of
him and burying her face against his broad chest. He wrapped her
inside his trenchcoat… it was getting a little chilly, and
besides, it felt so good, holding each other. He would have
wanted to pick her up and carry her to her room… their room,
like she was his bride.
Instead, she loosened her embrace, kissed his cheek, and said she
would go up first… he could join her later, in the room that
had been his as a child. It was almost dawn, and he might want to
say goodbye to the sun. He’d never see it again after that.
He smiled. From now on, she’d be his sun. “Beautiful,
dark… scorching sun,” he said to himself as he walked
up the stairs to that once familiar room. She was there, waiting
for him in the candle light. She had traded her hunting attire,
the strappy top and cargo pants that he’d seen her in, for a
long, black, sheer dress that I’d given her. I had one just
like that. Treize loved it on me.
But I knew she’d look even better. Because of her short dark
hair and eyes. It accentuated her swan neck. Her height. And
those sculpted shoulders, strong yet so graceful. I felt ashamed
of myself for envying her body. For feeling so insecure that I
had to ask Treize for a confirmation of his eternal love for me.
And only me. Jealous of my own friend. My only friend that was
now discovering she still had a chance at happiness… and
love. I should have been happy for her. But I was happier that
from now on she would have wanted to live.
And I wouldn’t have to worry about her any more, ‘cause
she’d take care of herself and her soul mate. She’d
finally be one of us. Not a human being trapped in a
vampire’s shell. She was sitting on the carpet by the
fireplace, warming herself, staring at the light that reminded
her of the sun she had to give up.
As he walked in, she turned to him with a smile, and said,
“I was beginning to wonder whether you’d gotten your
sanity back and decided to run…”
“From you?” he laughed, lowering his eyes and blushing
at the sight of her, “I’m afraid I’d be your
prisoner even if I were to flee to the other end of space.”
He walked to her with a mysterious smile, and helped her up. As
soon as she was on her feet, he swept her into his arms,
playfully dipped her as though he was dancing a tango with her
and, before she could even express her surprise, without saying a
word, he placed his lips on hers.
Long. Intense. Passionate kiss. He had never kissed anyone like
that. Nor had she. He found it painful to let go of those lips.
Intoxicating. He would kiss every inch of her that night.
They’d belong to each other. He found that he loved biting
her skin… soft little bites that felt more like kisses.
She’d gasp, then giggle and throw her head back and
he’d work his way down from her lips to each sensitive spot
on her body, starting with her neck.
He joked, “No wonder you’re a vampire… For how
long can a neck like this go around before someone just has to
bite it?” He started removing the straps of her dress from
her shoulders, using his teeth. Maybe he would have removed the
dress altogether like that… if he managed to undo the
zipper… if he had the patience to try. Soft amber skin…
so feminine, yet he could tell underneath there was a strength
uncommon for a woman. Legacy of her intensive military training.
They were so alike. Yet so complementary. They were made to be
one. She started undoing his shirt, her fingers shaking, fumbling
with the buttons. Her touch so electrifying, he quivered as he
felt it on his chest. She let the shirt slide on the floor, then
breathed in and grabbed his arms. Her hold of him stronger than
he had expected. Pulling him close. Ran her hands on his face,
and lifted it up… her fingers so tense, jittery. Her breath
irregular, rapid, shaken; her lips locking with his again.
Desiring him with a strength that scared her. Desiring to make
him like her. To lose herself in that soft, white neck, under a
cascade of long blonde strands of hair.
“No!” she screamed, pulling back all of a sudden,
leaving him to wonder what he could have done wrong.
“You were gonna do it,” he said softly, in a soothing
way, “why did you stop?” He asked her if he was going
too fast.
“No… I am,” she replied, staring at the ground.
She said she just needed to know, just once more, that he wanted
this. That he wouldn’t regret it upon waking up… being
like her.
“Are you gonna be mine for ever?” he asked her. Her
answer was ready,
“Yes... I’ll be yours for ever.” “Then I want
you to do it… right now. I wanna be yours for ever.”
She asked him to lie down on the bed. Before resting his head on
the pillow, he swept his hair to one side and closed his
eyes… waiting for her. She sat by him, and he slid his arm
around her back. Slowly undoing her zipper. Trailing his fingers
along her back bone. She stretched both her legs onto the bed,
lying down beside him. Kissing his lips, then his cheek, then
that soft spot… right there, where the jugular was.
Pulsating underneath his skin. Calling her lips. She ran her hand
on his forehead, and whispered,
“Now relax… I promise it won’t hurt.” He
reached for her hand and placed it upon his lips. Kissed it
softly. She parted her lips and let her teeth touch his skin.
Slowly, gently make their way in it. He gasped for air, then
quivered and held her hand tight, kissing it again. She closed
her eyes and felt herself die as her tongue got a first taste of
him.
He woke her up that afternoon, just as the sun went down. She was
sleeping on her side, facing the door. He was holding her from
behind, his legs entwined with hers, his face resting on her bare
back, listening to her breathe. He called her softly. He still
couldn’t get over how beautiful it sounded…
“Lucrezia… Peacecraft.” He would have married her
in a second, if vampires had any such ceremony. She opened her
eyes and couldn’t help smiling as she burrowed in his arms.
He was hers now. Life had never been fuller. A thought crossed
her mind like an arrow. Painful, like a pang in her diaphragm
every time she breathed. She would have to go hunting. This time
for real.
For him… because he needed it to stay alive. She closed her
eyes again, and murmured, “Just a little longer…
please… Let’s stay like this just a little
longer,” as he started tickling her back and her arms with
his hair. She caught me as I was about to go out. Treize was
already downtown, looking for the perfect prey. She asked me to
watch over him… while she was out hunting. He’d just
woken up, and he’d soon start feeling really weak. I would
have liked to tell her to stay in, with him. I would have liked
to have something to offer to revive him… give him back his
strength, so they could go together, after, once he felt better.
Be each other’s strength. But that little girl was so
small… there had barely been enough for last night. I
hadn’t been able to save even a cup. All I could offer was
my encouragement:
“I know you can do it… if not for yourself, for him. Go
downtown… the whole village is out on the streets to
celebrate the visit of that young ambassador… Relena
Darlian. You’ll find lots to pick from.” She thanked me
and led me up to her room, where he was insisting on standing up,
walking around, reassuring her that he was feeling just fine.
But he looked extremely pale. It would hit him any minute. She
said she’d be back soon. She was going for Relena Darlian
herself. She told me on her way out, so low that he couldn’t
hear. She needed a virgin, young and strong and healthy. Rich in
oxygen and red cells. Someone exceptionally smart would have been
ideal. Miss Darlian was undoubtedly all those things, more so
than any other young person in town. And she was going to make
sure he had the best. I must have dropped my jaw to the floor, my
astonishement being so great at hearing her talk like that. Like
a vampire. Her concern for him being greater than her ethical
dilemmas.
He kept asking when she was gonna be back. He was getting weaker
by the minute. I tried to crack a joke at him to break the
tension.
“Take it easy,” I said, “because she’s not
going to run on you.” He knew that. She came back a couple
of hours later. Not even midnight. She had the weirdest
expression in her eyes… I knew it right there, she was in
shock. Kept staring at her hands. Clean, but I think she saw
blood on them.
“What have I done?” I heard her mumble. She had got
her, I thought. Her love for him had won. From now on, it would
all get easier. The first person you kill is always the toughest
one. You feel like it’ll haunt you for ever. Then you kill a
second time. And a third. And each time it feels a little less
like you’re dying with them. Before you know it, it
doesn’t disturb you any more. You see the necessity of it
and nothing else. And you’re at peace with yourself.
And the nightmares stop. I left the room without a word. I just
hugged her. Wanted her to know I was proud of her. My friend had
made the passage.
She just took a deep breath and said, “I hope I’m doing
the right thing.” “Virgin, young, strong and
healthy,” she kept repeating to herself. I came back to ask
her if she needed any help carrying the girl upstairs. She was
already sitting on the bed. Had taken him in her arms, and he was
resting against her chest, breathing rapid, shallow breaths.
She shook her head, “No… thank you… I’ll be
alright.” She looked at me like she wanted to say goodbye.
Sad. Scared, but knowing what she had to do. Then it hit me…
I realized what she was up to the moment I closed the door behind
me.
There was no girl. She hadn’t been able. She was looking at
his blood on her hands. Cursing herself for being so selfish as
to let him become like her. Now he was cursed too. Just like she
was. There was only one thing she could do for him. When it
flashed through my brain, I would have wanted to barge into that
room and stop her. But I restrained myself instead. It was her
choice. So I bit my lips and walked away. Saying goodbye to my
friend.
He must have had no clue. Passed out, only aware of her presence.
Her arms around him. Her chest, warm, soft, comfortable. He must
have known he was out of danger as soon as he felt her. So safe
he didn’t even open his eyes. Not even when he felt that
young woman’s wrist touch his lips. The rich, ruby red
liquid wetting them. He must have trusted her so much, he just
parted his lips and let himself taste it for the first time.
Banishing the thought of what it was. Just wanting to please her.
Prove to her that he didn’t regret becoming like her. That
he could have gotten used to anything, even living in the
darkness and feeding on human blood, if that meant being with
her. Unaware. She must have kept on stroking his hair until the
end, telling him how special and how loved he was. And how happy
he had made her. And that he would be alright, but he had to let
her do that for him. And to try not to hate her once he woke
up… because she really meant it, when she said she would be
his for ever.
He must have been too weak to understand… make the
connection in his head at the moment. He must have kept thinking
of the South Wing of the castle, like he was saying to me
earlier. The one with the large greenhouse. They could have moved
there.
To the room that used to be his parents’… the one that
looks exactly above it. They could have fixed it all up, placed
lots of candles in the greenhouse. Lots of roses… of all
kinds and all colours. He even wanted to breed his own special
rose. Dark blue, with blackberry hues. He’d name it Lucrezia
because it would have her eye colour. And he would blindfold her
and lead her down there at night and then make love to her. Among
the roses.
It was about four in the morning when I heard him cry out. He had
opened his eyes, rested and regenerated, still in her arms. He
had looked up at her face. Peaceful, beautiful, smiling in her
sleep. Had tried to wake her up. She wouldn’t.
Then he saw it. There was nothing on the floor, where the young
victim’s lifeless body should have been. Instead, there was
a bright red stain on the sheet, right under Lucrezia’s
wrist. He lifted it and saw the marks. And he understood.
She had given her life for him. Because she wouldn’t take
another human being’s. I found him helpless. Lost like a
child. He had taken her into his arms. Rocked her like a sleepy
infant. Buried his face against hers, under the flowing mass of
his hair. Holding her as close as he could, yet so gently. Like
she was made of crystal.
He was crying. Silently. His whole body was shaking, and I felt
like there was nothing I could say to him that would ever make
the loss go away. He loved her. He always would. Just like she
had loved him. Enough to die for him. And become human again. I
told him that, as soon as he became aware of my presence. He
asked me if I knew. I couldn’t lie to him. I said that
I’d realized what her intentions were, but could not go
against her choice. He had a look that I’ll never forget for
as long as I live. Anger, pain, hate… towards me.
Because I would not save my friend. His soul mate. Because
I’d turned around and walked away, knowing she was going to
bring him back to consciousness with her own blood. After all,
she knew she could still save him. She was still young, and
strong, and healthy. And a virgin.
And unable to find him a human prey… therefore she must
still be partly human herself. He would have died if she
hadn’t done that. She had made him like that. And she would
redeem herself for being so selfish. I asked him to look at her
face. He could not understand where I was going. I pointed out to
him how peaceful she looked. How her lips had gone back to their
original colour.
The one she had before Hilde attacked her. How her cheeks were
not as pale any more. He couldn’t make sense of it. If she
was really dead, she would be even paler… But she was human
again.
I told him that, by dying for him, she had broken free. No
vampire had ever done that before, so no one really knew what
would have happened. Apparently, it wasn’t just a legend. I
explained to him that we are immortal only as far as we wish to
be. But no one knows what is of us once we let ourselves die.
Until now, that is. Because she had just done it. And now she was
free. He asked if I knew whether she’d ever wake up. Hopeful
that maybe he hadn’t lost her for ever. That, I
couldn’t know. I wish I could have said yes. That she’d
start breathing on her own in a couple of hours… and
she’d be fine. I didn’t know. She showed no sign of
life. Human, but nonetheless dead.
“Then get out,” he said, resolutely. I knew he was up
to something, but I wasn’t sure what. He wouldn’t tell
me. He just asked me to stay out of this room until the following
night, after sunset. He was going to join her. Wherever she was.
He didn’t need to say that, because all of a sudden I knew.
So I complied. The sun would rise in a couple of hours. I knew he
would lie down beside her and not close the blinds that morning.
He would hold her as the first rays of sunshine brightened the
room. He would let them drain the life out of him. Slowly. As he
held his princess Lucrezia close to him.
A bright september morning. Like I remember them from when I was
still human. The cool breeze, the leaves still green, the
swallows still around. The local church ringing its bells to wake
up the town. Just as we close ourselves in our rooms and sleep or
wander in the darkness until the sun sets again. I heard them
from my darkened room.
Then I heard sounds of lovers waking up to a new day. And I felt
happy. More than I ever remember being. So full of hope because
now I knew what happens to those vampires that have the courage
to sacrifice their immortality out of love. T
hey find life again. I heard their voices. And I could picture
them right away. Opening their eyes and being blinded by the sun,
already high on the horizon. Screening their eyes with their
hands as they realize they’ve made it. She was first. She
knew she felt different right away. Looked at him, sleeping.
Raised her head from his chest and then it dawned on her. She
should have been dead. He should have been dead. Vampires die in
the sunlight. But she felt stronger and more alive than ever. And
his chest was moving rhythmically up and down. Breathing deeply.
His heart beating its strong, reassuring beat. I concentrated and
heard her call him softly.
Then the sound of him waking up. Confused, not knowing what was
happening. Still sleepy. Then the exclamations of surprise…
to find himself… and her alive. Laughing and crying and
repeating “I love you” a thousand times. Getting up as
fast as a lightning and picking her up and spinning around the
room, with her laughing and going, “Hey, what the… put
me down, please…whoa watch out!” And holding each other
and kissing right in front of that window, flooded with sunlight,
still unable to believe it.
It was over. They had found each other as she was living the
nightmare, and he had accepted to enter it himself. Just to be
with her.
But now they were waking up together. To life the way it’s
meant to be for two human beings who love each other. I heard
them leave the castle.
For ever.
Giggling, as they were going down the stairs, talking about
houses and children and greenhouses with roses… and
breakfasts in bed of double lattes and blueberry pancakes.
Then she stopped at the door. Turned around. Saying goodbye to me
one last time.
“I’ll never forget you… Lady Une.”
“Nor will I, my friend,” I thought back, as I wrapped
my own true love’s arms around me. Nor will I.
END
