SURROUNDED

"I was there when you
shone as bright as Bethlehem
from afar"


He didn't want her there. Not now. Not after what he did. She wasn't even supposed to know he'd made it out before the explosion. He had disgraced himself. And he would disgrace anyone who was still crazy enough to keep any connections with him. "You shouldn't have tried to find me", he had said to her as soon as she was through the door. Pointless, though. He knew she wouldn't leave without trying to take him with her, too. Or to rescue him.


"I was there when you were
young and strong and perverted
and everything that makes a young man a star
oh, you were a star"


To think that there was a day when he had wanted to ask her to marry him. He would have given her his kingdom, too. And they would have had children together… maybe even named them after his parents… or hers. But now… he'd gone and thrown it all out the window. Him, the heir to the Peacecraft family, committing a senseless, desperate act. She did not deserve to see him like that. She had seen him rise to fame at Victoria Lake. She was there when he found his long-lost sister. She had risked her life countless times to fight alongside with him. For his cause. She who hated wars and would have only wanted to be a doctor. So she could save lives. No, he wouldn't drag her down with him this time.


"I was there, and I
swear to God and on my mother's grave
on everything I have or ever will embrace
I was there, and I saw it with my own two eyes"



She had expected his reaction. It didn't bother her that he was acting so cold. So distant, pretending she wasn't there. He was trying to protect her… again. He still hadn't got it, that she was a big girl, that she could take care of herself. And that she had followed him of her own free will. "Zechs, look at me. Come on, look me in the eyes and say you want me to leave. Say it to my face because I don't believe it for a second"… it had taken all her confidence to say that. All her faith in their friendship. But she was right. He did not raise his eyes. He sat on the bed and kept staring at his knees in silence. So she knelt in front of him, and took his hands.


"And now it's all around me, all around me
I'm surrounded
You know it's all around me, all around me
You surround me like a circle"


He had the instinctive reaction to close his fingers around hers. Then it hit him all at once, what he was doing. He was letting her think she could still save him. He was, again, clinging to her and pulling her down with him. He rose abruptly, pushing her hands away, almost pushing her to the ground. Maybe, he thought, she'll see it then. That there was nothing left in him worth rescuing. But she had expected that, too. She hadn't even lost her balance. He went and stood by the window, turning his back on her, fearing those dark blue eyes.


"But don't you lose sight of me now"


She walked over to him. He could see her reflection in the window. She grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around. "Enough running and hiding," she said. She wasn't mad, he knew that. She had said it in a calm, almost soothing tone. But he knew she meant business. Because she was holding his shoulders firmly, and sooner or later he would have had to face up to those eyes.


"Cause I was there
come on, tell me I wasn't worth
sticking it out for
Well, I was there and I
know I was worth it
'cause if I wasn't worth it
that'd make me worse off than you are"


"Please, Lucrezia, let it go. There's nothing you can do for me now. Just go… and take care of Relena… and don't tell her I'm still alive. If you're still my friend, then you'll do it." She just smiled, and replied, "Oh, you are good! Nice try. But it doesn't work with me, you know that. So don't." He still couldn't bring himself to look her in the eyes. "You know what I've come here for," she said. He knew. She wanted to bring him back. Out of his hiding place and into his family, who thought he was dead. All this time, ever since she knew who he really was, she had fought so he could be the new beginning of the Peacecraft family. "You know I'm not giving up on you." He knew that too, yet he couldn't understand how she could still have faith in him… After what he did. How could he not have disappointed her? How could she still want to be there for him? Bring him back? Help him get it all back? Upon waking up after the explosion, he'd been told that she had almost died trying to get him out of there. That she could have been permanently blind as a result of the crash. He had gone to see her at the hospital, the night right after the surgery, so she would still be too drugged up to awaken and recognize him. How could he be worth all that? "But I have. I've given up on myself, and I'm afraid you have no choice but to accept it. So let me be and just… go be a doctor again… forget about this whole war horror and save at least yourself."


"All around me, it's all around me
I'm surrounded
You surround me like a circle"


Her eyes became the storm. She couldn't, she wouldn't let him destroy himself. It was hard enough living with the sense of failure of not recognizing what he was up to. If she had asked more questions, stayed online longer, if she had not accepted his secretive answers, he wouldn't have… No point in going there. That's why she had to bring him back. Because he had to see. Because he had to believe it, that all his sacrifices had not been in vain. That there was still hope… now more than ever before. And that she would not go anywhere until he got back on his feet for the last of the fight.


"Cause I was there when they
dropped the bomb
you know I remember the bomb
sometimes I still hear the bomb
and I still fear the bomb
you know I still fight the bomb
you know I still hate the bomb
sometimes I still get the call"


She placed her hands on his face and made him look at her. He didn't fight it, but he tried to look away for a second. She was angry. But not at him. Angry at the war that took away her family… Just like it took his. Both only five years old. "Forget? No, I'm sorry, I won't do that… 'cause in case you haven't noticed, I've got just as much to fight for and believe in as you do. And it's not just about my parents,or yours, or whoever else, either. The only difference is, I haven't had to take all the risks, or sacrifice half the stuff that you had to. Just because of your name." He could not get over how her voice sounded so calm and rational, yet he could see the rage in her eyes. "Now it's my turn to take risks for what I believe in," she continued, "I'm not waiting and following any more."


"Sometimes you lose sight of me now
don't you lose sight of me now"


"It's time to be a team again. You and me. I'm not letting you give up now that we're so close, and you've given so much for this. Because I know you haven't really given up yet. No matter what you say. I recognized you right away… Wind." So that's how she found him. She must have always known, somehow, that he had made it out of the explosion, against all odds. "I know you don't give up, Zechs… You're a survivor." He walked away from her. Those eyes were just too much to take in, he'd almost broken down. She'd almost got him to believe that they could fight together again. That there was something left to fight for. And that, of all the highly trained soldiers she got to deal with on a daily basis, she wanted him, the flunkie, the screw-up waiting to happen.


"Now you're all around me
you surround me like a circle
I'm surrounded
Like a circle around me."


"You wanna know why you can't look at my face? Why you keep running from me and turning the other way so you don't have to stare me in the eyes? Let me tell you why I think it is. It's because you know I'm telling the truth. And it's not what you wanna hear. Because it's easier to believe that all hope is lost and that there's nothing more you can do. But I've just come out of nowhere to shove it in your face that it's not true. I've come to drag your ass out of your safety blanket to get you out on the battle field again. Of course you don't like it!" Bingo, he thought. Why did she always seem to know what goes on in his head? Even when he didn't know it himself? Even when he couldn't face up to it? He felt his resistance falter as she took his hands again… It was pointless, she was winning. He wanted her to win. Because that would mean that they'd be together again. As a team. But he had to know. That she was prepared to him disappointing her again. And again. Because, as much as he wanted a second chance, it would be all but easy. Facing everyone. Winning their trust all over. Especially his sister's. And then, facing his own ghosts. All his insecurities, his feeling of not being up to the job. His guilt. And the burden that comes with his name. He had to know that she was ready for that, too. He placed his hands on her shoulders, and raised his eyes to hers.

"Ah, damit! Lucrezia, I want to believe you. Because I know you're speaking the truth. And it means the world to me that, despite all that I'm guilty of, you still have this… faith in me. But if I let myself believe you, then I'm afraid I'll never be able to let go of you…babysitting me. If I let you be here for me, how do I know that… No, you know what? It came out all wrong. I know you'll stick by me through it all… That's not even an issue. But how do I know that I won't drag you down with me?" She smiled at him, then shifted herself and passed her left arm around him like a lifeguard would, then she said, almost mocking him,"Let me worry about that. I've always been a good swimmer…" He felt weird… jittery, exhausted. It had been way too long since he let anyone be that close to him. Since he let her, that is. He drew her closer and surrendered to her inner strength. "Yes… I remember that… At Vic they used to nickname you Dolphin because you were the fastest swimmer." "Yeah, and you were the fastest pilot. Remember how we used to kick ass?" "We still do, Luke… if you really want it. If it's really with me you wanna do this." There was no need for words on either part now. They just stared at each other for a second, and saw it right there, all that was meant to be. All that they were going to make happen, together, as a team. The ultimate team.

They closed their arms around each other. "I missed you." They weren't going to say it out loud, but there was no need to. They knew. Like they knew everything was gonna work out. "Welcome back, my friend." He had needed to hear that. He tightened his embrace for a second, taking in the moment. Then he had this urge to leave that place and throw away the key… just go… anywhere… just as long as he left that depressing room… just as long as they left together. "What do you say we get outta here? I wanna see your ship." She loosened herself from his arms, then ran to open the door, feeling that kind of lighthearted happiness that she remembered as being part of her childhood. "Brand-new," she giggled, "not like last time. Can you believe that the Peacemillion was actually a recycled ship?" Her laughter had always been contagious to him, and for the first time in way too long he felt like cracking a joke at her.

"No wonder it handled like a garbage truck," he remarked, as they exited the small house, hand in hand, walking into the sun. "Ah, but this one's a beauty…" "What's it called, again?" "It's the Preventer. Oh, and you need to come up with a combat name… Anything, as long as it's not Fire or Water. Those are already taken." "Well, then, I guess I can be Wind…or is that taken, too?" "No, it's still out for grabs, so if you want it, it's yours." "Cool. Hey, I heard Wufei is part of Preventer, too." "Yep." "I sense you're not too thrilled with that…" "Well, you know… He has an interesting view of women, so we end up fighting just about every five minutes" "That sounds like fun…" "Oh, yeah… More fun than a barrel of monkeys!" "What's his combat name, anyway?" "Ah, well… God only knows! Some funky-ass name like Dragon or something?" "Gee, wonder why…" "Nataku… of course!"