I am tired to my bones and beyond them, as I stumble to my
quarters. If Lord Treize appeared before me and demanded my
loyalty once more, I don't know that I'd even have the energy
to say "No" before I shoved past him. All I want is my
bed.
Why am I here, anyway? There are a thousand other places
where I could be useful, and I've worked in several of them.
The Project DJ appears to have become addicted lately to
late 20th century popular music. Strange, how music that's
over two hundred years old is still meaningful.
Sometimes the snow comes down in June;
Sometimes the sun goes round the moon;
I see the passion in your eyes;
Sometimes it's all a big surprise.
I open the door, yawning, too tired to take my usual care. If
he's here, then he'll be as tired as I am and likely sleep
through any noise I make. If he isn't, then how can any amount
of noise disturb an empty room?
I was right; he isn't here. He must be working late. /As
if you weren't,/ a small voice whispers inside me, but I don't
listen. He has a greater stake out here than I do; this is his
second chance, the one he's not about to lose. I have friends
I can go back to, a job to take back up; but Zechs has less
than nothing, on Earth and the established Colonies, and many
good reasons to stay well away.
For there was a time when all I did was
wish
You'd tell me this was love.
It s not the way I hoped, nor how I planned,
But somehow, it s enough ...
As for me - well, I have only one; and if he's gloriously
handsome with long platinum-blond hair and bright blue eyes,
and has been known to answer at various times to Milliard
Peacecraft, Zechs Merquise or "Wind", he's also mine.
Relena-sama was distracted when I last called her. I
don't really know what to think of her. She's kind and loving
and a good leader, truly the best person to lead our
beleaguered home planet into peace, but sometimes it's hard
for me to see the capable young woman she's become. I remember
too well the half-spoilt teenager she was when Zechs first
asked me to be her bodyguard, when she was first breaking out
of the shell of her indulged childhood and trying to step into
the adult world of politics which so needed her. Her affection
for that feral Gundam pilot, Heero Yuy, was the turning point,
I suspect.
Some would, if they knew of it, ask *why* she fell for
such a boy; others would point at his physical attractiveness
and snigger that the Queen of the World was as vulnerable to a
pretty face as any other. But I know why. It's the Peacecraft
blood, flowing in her. Pure need and pure challenge in one
neat package - she couldn't resist. Yuy needed affection and
care and would resist receiving it to his utmost, so she had
to make him accept it.
It turns out that he's wandered off, again. I can't help
sighing. He does love her - he wouldn't keep leaving her and
then returning if he didn't. I can't help wondering about
these Gundam pilots - and Tallgeese pilots too - why can't
they see that we love them the way they are?
And now we re standing, face
to face -
Isn't this world a crazy place!
Just when I thought our chance had passed,
You go and save the best for last.
I lie back in the bed and do the relaxing exercises we were
taught at the Academy - maybe if I can relax, I can sleep.
I can't help remembering, though, as I lie here alone, of
that time when I was certain I would always be alone, when
life was empty and I worked myself so hard so I wouldn't have
to remember ...
Remember the final battle of A.C. 193 ...
Remember the day that, to all intents, purposes and
examination, the man known as Zechs Merquise and as Milliard
Peacecraft died.
I shiver even now. They say grief is cold and mourning is
pain - but without Zechs, the world was ... empty. He had
gone, and hadn't even had the grace to take everything of
importance with him so I could collapse into grief. He left me
the Preventors and Relena-sama, and the task of helping
Relena-sama to weld a peace from all the pain.
All of those nights you came to me,
When some silly girl had set you free,
You wondered how you'd make it through;
I wondered: what was wrong with you?
When we went through the Academy, I kouhai to his senpai, I
was wildly curious about his past - well, everyone was. But I
had to be the most inquisitive, and I was utterly determined
to find out why he wore that mask all the time.
I wonder how he'd react if he knew how, and how often, I
lurked outside his door, hoping to see a clue. He had to know
of my curiosity from the way I kept talking about our mutual
homeland, the Sank Kingdom, and dropping hints.
And then the day came when he left his study door ajar. I
peeped in - yes, I admit it, I was fifteen and madly in love,
to the point of near-obsession - and I saw him without his
mask.
The head teacher at the orphanage had been a fanatic
Royalist. For all that Sank Kingdom had been invaded and
crushed when I was only five, she and many others had clung to
the fervent belief that Prince Milliard and Princess Relena
had escaped the massacre of their family and were safely
growing up in hiding. I had grown up with pictures of the
Peacecrafts. It was impossible not to recognise my king-in-
hiding.
I swore my loyalty to him, then and there, and did not
speak a word of it. I couldn't. If the Federation had known
that one of their assassination targets was a cadet officer in
their own Academy - the failed assassination would become a
successful one. This was my senpai and my king - in each case,
deserving of my loyalty, but more importantly, this was Zechs.
For how could you give your
love to someone else
And share your dreams with me?
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for
Is the one thing you can't see ...
On reflection, though, he must have realised that I'd learned
the truth. I have never been good at duplicity; the fact that
I stopped fishing for information and became even more
protective of my senpai must have given it away. For it was
then that I was told about OZ and Treize-sama's plans. I
agreed and joined in enthusiastically - I wonder if they
realized then that it was Zechs I obeyed, not Treize-sama?
No matter. Zechs followed Treize and I followed Zechs. I
was honoured by the confidence he placed in me, and each
challenge he set and each secret he confided bound me to him
more.
I felt strangely divided when he asked me to guard
Relena-sama. I was honoured that he would entrust his precious
sister to me. But at the same time I was wildly jealous. I
longed for his attention and love and he was totally devoted
to her.
And now we're standing, face to face -
Isn't this world a crazy place!
Just when I thought our chance had passed,
You go and save the best for last.
I did as he asked anyway. At least then he would see how good
a job I did - and the nod and "Thank you, Noin," he
expressed
his approval with were worth any effort. It wasn't his or
anyone else's fault that I wished for more.
Sometimes the very thing you're looking
for
Is the one thing you can't see ...
I yawn and roll over. The blankets are warm now and sleep is
tugging me down. I can relax after all my longing and grief
because my story has a happy ending. Relena-sama's may or may
not, but I'm hopeful for her.
I couldn't stay with her after that day, not when her
Heero was alive and my Zechs was not. I joined
Lady Une's newly formed Preventors, taking the longest,
hardest, furthest-away assignments - because, if I were tired
enough, I probably wouldn't dream.
I distinguished myself - as usual - and when Marymaya
Barton's forces attacked, I was recalled to Earth, to work
with a new pilot, named "Wind".
Did I suspect? I don't believe so. I was looking to a
battle, not a reunion. Especially not with him.
Sometimes the snow comes down in June;
Sometimes the sun goes round the moon;
Just when I thought our chance had passed,
You go and save the best for last.
I am almost asleep ... dreaming of my decision after that
battle, when I finally told him my feelings and that I
wouldn't allow him to leave me behind again. The riskiest
thing I've ever done, but the reward I was reaching for ...
A cold body - Zechs - slides into bed beside me. I curl
up against him, cold feet and all. His arms are velvet steel,
pulling my warm body to his cool chest, his heartbeat strong
and reassuring beneath my ear. I smile as I slip into sleep.
He's still holding me the next morning, when I awaken. I take
full advantage. With Zechs' complete cooperation.
You went and saved the best for last.
"Gundam Wing" is copyright Sunrise, and "Save
The Best For
Last" is sung by Vanessa Williams. I have no rights to
either
work and make no claim to any.
