Relena slowly pushed the door open. It had just been almost two weeks after the A.C. 195 war had ended, and it was quite surprising that it was somewhat bare and some windows still remained broken in that room. The lights were out, she noticed as she tried to turn on the switch. At least, no one would know she was there. The funny thing is, it was a party, a party that was also dedicated for her honor; the heir to the throne.
She was upstairs; four flours from the ballroom of the estate where everyone is celebrating the victory of the pilots and everyone else who helped in bringing back the peace the world had once lost in the hands of the Federation.
Relena allowed a small smile form across her lips.
As much as she wanted to be there, celebrating with the civilians, noblemen, and officials, she felt the extreme need for privacy and quietness --- a time off alone. They might ask some questions that she may not be able to answer if ever she did join them.
She walked around, examining every little bit she could in the room. The only thing that kept the whole place somehow lit is the moonlight seeping from the windows. The sky was full of stars that night, as if they were also celebrating and sharing their happiness.
Relena walked towards the shattered glass pieces on the carpeted floor, kneeling, she carefully ran her finger on the biggest piece. She had called someone up to renovate some part of the Cinq estate, but it seems that they had more jobs to do.
The young girl looked up at the bright night sky and smiled. She could still remember clearly when he used his Gundam to shield her from the collapsing tower. "Heero...If ever you are here in earth, could you have been celebrating like others do?" she asked silently in her mind. She took a careful seat on the floor, right in the middle of the room where the moon shines on her face as she watches the stars twinkle brightly with contentment.
She saw none of the Gundam pilots except Quatre, with Lady Une, in the hall; a few ladies were talking to the young gentleman. "Like you, I am a heir. I have so many duties, so many responsibilities in my hands, too many for my age. Quatre, what would you do?" she sighed as she brushed away a loose strand of her hair with her finger, and tucked it behind her ear.
The obnoxious Oz representative, Dorothy Catalonia was there, too. She would have talked to her, but she could not bring herself to approach the young lady. She was too challenging. Demanding. Dorothy was a critic in every aspect. But somehow, Relena admired her for her strong will she could not bring herself to have.
"I knew you'd be here."
Relena broke out from her trance and jumped to her feet. "Miss Noin!" she gasped in relief to see the young woman at the door. "You startled me."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." Noin apologized, as she entered the room. She was wearing a blue dress instead of her ceremonial uniform which she could have worn on that occasion.
"What are you doing here?" Relena asked demandingly.
"I just wanted to pass the time, walking around." Noin replied plaintively as she went pass Relena and towards the broken window, slowly tracing the glass with a finger. "You like to be alone, don't you?"
"Yes." Relena answered.
"Me too. I just can't bring myself to celebrate with them knowing that I just lost someone out there."
Relena nodded. "My brother, right?"
Noin turned around and looked at the girl. In her face, Relena read sadness and discomfort. "I don't know if I should still keep my hopes up." Noin said as she looked up at the stars.
Relena sat down again and stared. "You should." She muttered.
Noin sat down beside her and rested her chin on her bent knees. For some time, the two kept quiet, just looking around where they sat, not saying any word, nor breathing a sigh. Until Relena spoke up.
"What is it that you love about Milliard?" she asked. She noted the quick change in Noin's expression as she did so.
"Why do you ask?"
"I just want to know."
"Well," Noin started with a sigh as she stared into the night sky, her eyes turning dreamy, "everything about him." Noin paused, looking at Relena who was staring at her.
"You can't say everything. Specifically, what do you like?" Relena said with a small smile.
"You're pushing me, princess."
"Please? Just let me know."
"Guess it wouldn't hurt to tell his sister." Noin muttered as she shifted to a more comfortable position. "Actually, I really don't remember. But all I know is that I love him because he's true. Loyal. He'd do whatever he can in his power to protect the people he cares most for. And the way he confides his secrets to me, even if it would threaten his life or yours."
"So he's really nice."
Noin shook her head. "He is more than that. He'd let you know that you are important to him, but he'd always be distant because he's scared that he'd endanger you. He builds so many walls up."
Relena looked away. She had never given her brother the chance to explain himself...Why he did such things. And until now, she never knew much of him. He was her brother, and that was it. Nothing else. No connection.
"Is that how it went with you two?" Relena asked again as she stared down at her feet.
"Yes."
Relena closed her eyes. Noin's answer was as sure as the wind. But her tone was hurting. Like she never wanted to say so.
"Tell me more about my brother, please, Miss Noin." Relena said, her hold of her knees tightening as she looked at the Italian woman with determined eyes.
"What about him?"
"Anything. Anything that will make him known to me." Relena urged. "I have never known him."
"That's because you never gave him the chance." Noin murmured softly as she stared down at her feet.
Exactly. What she had just said struck the young girl like an arrow in the stomach. She had always been cold to him. But she still loved him. But then, she never gave him the opportunity to feel that love...Not even until he died.
"Please, Noin. I know that. That's why I want to know him." Relena said.
Noin closed her eyes and lifted her head in resignation. Although she knew it would hurt her to speak of him, she did, knowing that it was for his sister that he entrusted to her.
"Maybe some other time." Noin said. "I don't think I'm ready to talk more about him asides from what I have told you earlier. Too painful."
Relena looked away, nodding. "I understand."
"You know, Relena," Noin started as she stared up at the dark ceiling, "your brother loves you."
"He does?"
Noin smiled faintly, looking at the girl. "Very much. He tells me all the time whenever we're alone together."
"Too bad I never felt that."
"He loves you very much, Relena. Can't you see that he did everything to attain peace so that you can live your life without fear?"
"But he did it in a manner that would kill everyone---annihilate earth!" Relena snapped at once.
The former Oz official looked away.
"I-I'm sorry, Ms. Noin."
"It's okay." Noin replied as she tried to swallow her tears.
They kept quiet once more for a couple of minutes. Thinking. Wondering.
"I envy you, Relena." Noin said softly as she hugged her knees to her chest.
Relena looked at her in surprise, her face puzzled. "Why is that?"
"Because...He gave so much for you. He loves you very much. I'm sure he loves you more than he loves me."
"Miss Noin..." Relena murmured as she tried to reach out a caring hand on the woman's trembling shoulder. She did not know that her guardian was jealous of her. "I'm sure he loves you so much. Even if he never told you, he must've let you know one way or another. Actions are always better than words."
Noin kept quiet.
"Ms. Noin, I'm sure, wherever he is right now, he's thinking about you. Just like you say he thinks about me."
"He could be..." Noin replied softly.
"It's funny how I envy you, too, Miss Noin." Relena said, lowering her eyes to her feet.
The older woman looked at her with dark eyes.
"I mean, the way you are. You are a very strong woman, and I admire you. It seems that whatever trial that comes in your way, you always know how to handle it."
"You do not know me, you don't know what you're talking about." Noin replied.
"I do." Relena said as she placed her free hand on her chest. "I envy you because you can stand all the way for your loved one. I can't do that. My brother must be really lucky to have someone like you."
"Thank you." Noin said as she placed her hand over Relena's on her shoulder. "But I'm only a woman, Relena. I also cry. I'm not as strong as you say I am. If I'm really strong, I could have stood for myself. I don't have to follow anyone or anything."
"But---"
"Sometimes I ask myself if what I'm putting myself through is what I really wanted. If these whole fighting thing is really for me---if it's really what I wanted for my life."
"It all happens. We all make mistakes." Relena answered.
"I don't know..." She said flatly.
Relena watched as Noin closed her eyes and tried to force away the forming tears from her eyes. "Ms. Noin, are you saying that you regret everything that happened?"
"I don't know." Noin replied in the same blank tone.
"Me either. I don't know if I should be happy or dismayed with this whole war thing. I don't know cos if it never happened..." Relena paused as her eyes glazed, "I never would have learned about things...And..." she paused again and looked outside the large broken window. "I never would have known Heero. But if it never did..."
"You love him very much, don't you?" Noin asked as she noted the smile on Relena's face, her head resting on her knees.
Relena looked down at Noin and giggled softly like an ordinary teenage girl talking about her crush. "Yes."
"It's in your eyes."
"Really? It's just that there's something about him..."
"I know how you feel."
"Maybe." Relena replied as she stared at the stars. "Ms. Noin?"
"Hmm?" Noin replied as she looked up at the sky.
"Will you wait for someone who just disappears all of a sudden?"
"If he's Zechs, then why not?"
"Ms. Noin."
"Okay, okay." Noin replied, "If you do think he is worth it, then why not? If you really love him and you understand why he goes away most often, I think, you should."
"Then you know how I feel about him, right?"
"Heero? Yes."
"Others just don't. They'd want me to date every fine young men."
"Oh they do? Good for you."
Relena just shook her head and grinned.
Noin sighed heavily as she stood up and stretched her arms by the window. "I think I want to get a drink downstairs." She said as she looked outside.
Relena stood up and dusted the bottom of her dress and stood by Noin. "Me too. After all the mushiness, I think I need a break."
Noin just grinned at that and dusted her skirt as she headed towards the door. "Oh, and before we go down Relena, please wipe the tears off your eyes." She said with a small laugh before she disappeared into the darkness.
Relena smiled. She gazed outside and thought with affection, "Heero, wherever you are...I want you to know that I care about you."
In the darkness of the garden with only a few rooms in the mansion well lit, a short, medium-built figure lurked behind the obscuring trees. He watched as the girl in the fourth floor room stared up at the sky and then make her way out.
A smirk forms across his lips.
Relena-sama...
"Omae wa korosu."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
END
