CRASH AND BURN

"Zechs, you're not helping." Noin took a ragged breath as she looked out on the window. It has been three days out in space…Away from everyone…Except him. She felt his eyes at her back, and as she looked at his image reflected on the window, she felt something more...

"I'm sorry." he whispered, his voice, full of emotion as he said that. And it hurts her deeply. "You don't need to be sorry." she replied, forcing a smile on her face, but failed. She turned to look at his down-turned face. At the face that is always sad, full of remorse, even as he smile.

"Why do I have to be so damn stupid." he said. She understood that, that was not a question. It was his way of telling her how he hated himself. She always knew. She bit her lip, she had never seen her best friend like this---even when he confided secrets and painful memories to her...And she felt he needed her help this time the most.

Noin sat by his side of the bed, placing a hand on his trembling shoulders. At first, she thought he was okay, that he's getting over it, but there's something deep inside his heart, she knows, that is keeping him from working with life anew.

"Zechs, you're not stupid---"

"To you, cos you're my friend. Of course you wouldn't agree with me." he snapped, giving her a look she would likely not forget. "Zechs, that is not true." she replied soothingly, brushing away stray strands of his long platinum bangs from his face. "Stop it, Noin." he said in a low tone, shrugging away her hand.

"I'm doing everything I can, Zechs. I'm doing everything I can to help you for some good goddamn reason!" she retorted, her voice shaking. That was the riskiest thing she had ever done---to raise her voice at him. Her bestfriend. Her only love. And it had taken her all her courage and power to do that. He looked away and bit his lip. He knew that he had hurt her feelings. Her.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you." She stammered, looking down hard at her knees as tears started to form unwillingly in her eyes. He still couldn't accept the fact that he was still 'blamed' for everything that had happened for the past few years. Knowing that he is one of Treize's accomplice. Knowing that he had no one or no place to call home anymore. And she felt that big burden he carried in his back.

"Lucrezia, I don't want you in my personal war." He whispered, as he touched the cold glass. "Zechs, I entered it myself. Have you forgotten? I swore to be by your side, no matter how hard." She spoke with such gentleness and warmth. How he just wanted to stay in her arms all night and just listen to her speak to him...He knew that could never be. And even though how much he felt for her, he knew that he will never be worthy of anyone's love and care.

He merely smiled at that. He looked out into the dark emptiness outside and felt himself drown into the blackness. "I know why you love space so much, Lucrezia," he said, slowly turning to her, "it's so peaceful out here. Away from all the troubles. Away from all the people---except you." he smiled thinly at her.

She felt herself blush at that but successfully hid it. She slowly approached him and touched his face. "I know." she whispered. He bit his lip and turned away to look out the window again. "Why are you being nice to me?" he asked, although he felt that it might have sounded so idiotic to her.

"Why are you asking me?" came her simple reply. She turned around and walked towards the steel drawer. He smirked. So much like her, he thought. "No, seriously, why do you insist on always coming with me?" he said, his eyes hard again. His ice blue eyes, cold and bitter.

She smiled thinly. He felt her arms around his waist, her head rested on his shoulder, his back at her. "Because you're worth it."

"I'm not worth anything."

She withdrew abruptly. "Why do you always have to be hard on yourself, Wind?" she asked demandingly. She knew she had to be strong and firm to shove it in his face that he is worth everything she sacrificed. Her dignity. Her life. Her everything. He is worth all of it.

"Because it's true." he replied simply, but in his voice she read pain, hatred and suffering. Of being him. Of being Zechs Merquise. Of being Milliard Peacecraft. She held his shoulder firmly and forced him to turn and look at her. "What?" he snapped at her.

"Look at me, Zechs. Look at me in the eye. Do you think I'm loving every minute of this? Do you think I'm loving every time you curse yourself?" she asked of him. He stared at her, but quickly turned away.

"No." he swallowed.

"Then, help me, Zechs! Help yourself. At least, make me happy. Make me feel that everything I've done for you---everything I've risked for didn't go into waste." She pleaded, for him, for her.

For the very first time that day, that night, he couldn't speak. His voice was stuck in his throat. It's as if he was tied up and couldn't get out. He knew she was right.

"Zechs, I'm not telling you that you owe me anything in return. All I'm telling you is that I did everything to make a place for you. Now, it's your turn to make a name for yourself. Because you didn't do anything---we just both got dragged into the whole war nightmare. Milliard, it's no ones' fault." She whispered, stroking his hair.

"Noin---Lucrezia, why don't I believe you?" he replied softly, tears forming in his eyes. "I don't know." came her joking reply, but failed as her voice developed into a more shaky tone as she started to envelope him in a warm and loving embrace. He wrapped his arms instinctively around her.

"I'm so glad you're with me." he whispered into her ear. He said it true, from his heart.

"Really, friend?"

"Yes, friend."

"Lucrezia?" he said as he slowly lifted her chin.

"Zechs?"

"I love you." he said softly, his mouth settling over hers.

She was greatly surprised at what he did. A kiss. She had always dreamt for that time that he'd tell her he loves her and eventually kiss her…Because she had always treated him more than a friend. And he did the same.

She pulled away slowly from him after minutes of sweet kissing, wiping at her tears. She looked at him and smiled thinly, reaching out to wipe his tears. "Zechs, promise me, that you'll do everything you can to help yourself. Please?" she whispered softly.

"I promise."