"Purgatory"
By: Krys Bear
e-mail: krysstrife@hotmail.com

Rated: (R)

Note: This story depics two girls in love (Makoto and Minako). If you have a problem with that please evolve.

Disclaimer: The Sailor Moon characters are not mine. I'm just using them for my own romantic pleasure. I promise I'll put them back as soon as I'm done with them.

...For the first (and probably only) time, I have incorporated a song into this chapter of Purgatory. 'Bent' belongs to Matchbox 20, and I bow down to the genius that is Rob Thomas for writing it. I respect you man...that's why I have to swipe your song for a bit. Don't worry, I promise to put it back where it belongs after I'm through.

I'd like to dedicate this particular chapter to Heather McCoy, who is M&M's resident songficcer. I hope I don't disappoint in my attempt to fuse lyrics with action here. If I do...feel free to throw stuff at me.

Purgatory - The realm between heaven and hell where the soul awaits judgement.

Part 5

Her name was Reina, and she was a computer science major. She was twenty-three years old, but didn't look a day over 18. She lived with two stray cats she adopted in a small house in the Juuban park district, and she loved music. Every morning as soon as she woke up, she needed to have a cup of coffee with a dash of Irish cream, and two childrens chewable vitamins. In her spare time she enjoyed biking around Tokyo, and taking photographs. Sometimes she liked to write poetry, too. She had a small notebook filled with emotional outpourings at home, which she finds comfort in when she feels lonely.

Originally I wasn't going to say anything to the eye catching blond. I've never considered myself a great conversationalist -I'm more the listening type- and to be perfectly honest, I didn't feel like acknowledging anybody, no matter how nice they looked. Her face too closely resembled that of the cause of my suffering, and I wasn't up to dealing with it.

But she did buy me a drink. And although I may not know a whole lot about this new world I've stepped into, common courtesy dictated that a word of thanks was in order. My mother did manage to instill some manners into me, before she died. It wouldn't do well for me to dishonor her memory by forgetting them now.

So I gathered my courage, and made my way over to the blond, with Stevie giving me winks and thumbs up signs the entire way. By the time I reached her, I was a blushing mess. "H...Hello," I said, hoping the crimson that stained my cheeks wouldn't be noticed with the poor lighting of the bar. "I just wanted to come over and...uhh...I wanted to just..."

She smiled up at me and motioned for me to sit down in the seat across from her. "You're more than welcome," she replied, saving me from making a fool out of myself further. "It looked like you needed it."

I looked down at the table and gave her a half grin. "You're probably right. How did you guess?"

"Oh, I've been around here long enough to recognize the signs." She paused. "I've also been around long enough to know I haven't seen you in here before. Are you new to Juuban?"

"Oh, no," I shook my head "I've been here most of my life. I just don't usually have the time to make it out here that often."

"I understand that. Truthfully, I waste far too much time here. But for some reason, I keep finding myself drawn back, even though I know I have more important things to do."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah..." she looked up at me for a moment, as if she was searching for something. "What's your name, Thunder?"

It took everything I had not to choke on my own tongue. "Thunder? Where....where did that come from?" Surely she didn't know my identity! There was no possible way. I glanced nervously back at the senshi portrait hanging behind the bar, hoping she hadn't been clued in by it. I knew I should have shredded it!

She laughed. "You look like a deer caught in the headlights. Sorry if I touched a nerve there...it's just that when I look at you, I see so much turmoil in your eyes. It's like there's a storm inside you...turning and pounding. Thunder just seemed to fit, I guess."

My insides turned to jelly and my shoulders sagged with relief. She was perceptive -but not that perceptive. If word got out that I was a senshi in HERE of all places...damn, is it possible to be glomped to death? "Oh...I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little on edge tonight. My name is Kino Makoto." I took her hand in my own. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

She gave my hand a light squeeze. "I'm Reina Tome. The pleasure is mine. Tell me, would you mind staying and talking with me for a while? It's been a long time since I've had the company of someone who isn't trying to get me drunk so they can take me home." She rolled her eyes in the general direction of the street dykes Stevie had pointed out to me earlier. One of them was looking over at us, and whispering in hushed tones to one of her leather clad groupies. A warning bell went off inside my head at this - I've seen enough of Tokyo's seedy side to know exactly what may happen. But overall...it didn't really matter. What did I have to lose?

So I stayed right where I was, ignoring everyone else around me. Reina was easy to talk to...and it was nice to be able to speak freely with someone about things. I couldn't do that with any of the other senshi, with the exception of Haruka, and really, they were the only friends I had.

For a while, I was distracted. That's what I had come here for. That was what I wanted.

"It's ok, Makoto. There's nothing to it...just hold on to me, and your feet will pick up a slow rythm." She slipped into my arms and positioned my hands on her waist. "Don't be nervous. I'll be with you." She looped her arms around my neck and gave me a reasurring nod.

I nodded slowly, praying that I didn't accidently step on her feet. I'd avoid dancing with her all night, but somehow, she managed to talk me into it. So here I am, the envy of those around me, so nervous I'm sure I must be shaking. What a piece of work I am. What a piece of fucking work.

The song was slow and deep, and I found that as soon as I relaxed myself I did have a rythm. Reina must have felt how tense I'd been, because as soon as I loosened she smiled at me, and rested her head on my shoulder. I have to admit, I liked how that felt. I liked it a lot.

I closed my eyes, and the world around me faded away. For the first time in what seemed like forever, I had found a little peace. There was something I found very comforting about holding someone this way, this close. It made the loneliness seem so far away. It made insecurities petty and meaningless. It dulled the steady throb of pain. Was this what being in love felt like? Or was this what being loved felt like? I'm not sure....all I know is I can feel her breath on my shoulder, and her arms around me, and I don't think I want her to let go.

I don't want to be let go anymore.

One song slipped into another, and my feet moved in perfect time with hers. I could never dance the tango, and I could never even hope to waltz, but when it came to a slow, steady dance, I could hold my own. Despite the fact I've never danced before, there's a pang of familiarity about all this that hits me every few steps. I can't quite place it, but...

'Hey Grecko. What're you doin out here?I would have thought you'd be dancing with that pretty lady of yours by now.'

'Ah, I would if I could, Princess. But with tonight being such an important occassion, your mother needed me to play head guard for a while. These are dangerous times we're living in, after all.'

'Do you want to go dance with her?'

'...My duty comes first, Makoto.'

'That wasn't what I asked.'

'...Yes, I'd love to have her in my arms right now. But I can wait for another time. She understands.'

'Go to her.'

'Princess, I can't just leave my-'

'I'll stay and keep watch. I'm more than capable. Go in and dance with her.'

'But I-'

'...Don't make me tell you again.'

'......Thank you....I really mean that.'

'Go on...sweep her off her feet.'

.........

'I thought I told you to go-Oh...Minako...I'm sorry. What are you doing out here?'

'I could ask you the same thing. Everybody's looking for you.'

'Uhh...do me a favor and don't tell them where I am. It was hard enough for me to duck out as it was.'

'...I won't tell them. If...'

'If what?'

'If you tell me why you didn't want to be at your own birthday party.'

'...It's just not my thing, Mina-chan. I'm not comfortable standing in a big room smiling at strangers and prancing around.'

'But its your party...they've come to see you.'

'They've come for free food and wine.'

'....I came to see you.'

'...I'm sorry...I don't mean to avoid you. I just don't want you seeing me in a situation that brings out the worst in me.'

'You know, I think I must have danced with everyone in that room twice tonight.'

'.......'

'But I haven't yet gotten to dance with the one person I wanted to.'

'Huh?'

'I won't drag you back in there if you don't want to go, Mako...but whether we stay out here or go in there, you're going to dance with me before the night is through.'

'I...don't know how to...'

'Well then I suppose it's high time you started then.'

"Makoto....come home with me tonight."

"...what?" The sound of Reina's voice pulled me away from a starlight sky and back into the Alley.

"I...don't want to leave you tonight." She looked up at me, her demeanor shy and her eyes pleading.

I felt like cold water had been splashed over me. This wasn't something I was ready for. Even if I wanted to...I couldn't. As much as I'd enjoyed spending time with Reina this evening, and as good as it felt to have someone care about me that way, my heart wasn't ready to let go of Minako. Kami, how was I supposed to get out of this?

"Alright, I think I've had just about enough. Kuji, do me a favor and sit Reina down at the other end of the room. Me and cargo girl here are gonna have a nice talk."

I spun around to see one of the street roamers I'd noticed at the corner table earlier. A leatherclad beefstick groupie stepped out from behind her and lifted Reina up off of her feet, and carried her away to the far end of the bar. Reina turned around and looked at me, then looked at the floor. She knew what was going to happen...probably had known from the start.

Someone cranked up the speakers, and the floor vibrated with sound as I sized the girl in front of me up. She was about three inches shorter than me, and had a slight frame. If it came down to it...I was sure I could easily put her away. And I had a feeling that it would come down to that.

She threw her fist into my stomach, catching me off guard. It nearly knocked the wind out of me, but I didn't let her know that. I stood my ground, feeling the blood rush to my ears. The music got louder...and I began to see it...I began to see that goddam red that took away everything else...

If I fall along the way
pick me up and dust me off
And if I get too tired to make it
be my breath, so I can walk

I watched her face contort into a mask of fury, as she screamed a challenge that I heard as no more than babble. If she had walked away, she could have saved herself...if she had backed off, it wouldn't have to be like this....but she didn't, and now there's only the music that's flooding my ears, and the red that's clouding my eyes...

If I need some other love then
give me more than I can stand
When my smile gets old and faded
wait around, I'll smile again

"....She's mine!"

Shouldn't be so complicated...

I looked up at the Senshi poster behind the bar...the one with Rei's arm wrapped around Minako's waist...

Just hold me and then...

...I looked over at Reina, who knew...knew what was going to happen...and was just content to sit and watch. Reina, who'd almost made me feel alive again...

Just hold me again

I looked at the stranger in front of me...trying to tell me what I could and couldn't have. Who I could and couldn't have...after I'd already lost what I wanted most... And then there was only red.

Can you help me
I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together

Her throat was in my hand, and I lifted her up off of her feet. I saw her eyes widen in surprise, and she kicked me hard in the ribs in a pathetic attempt to loosen my grip.

keep breakin' me in
and this is how we will live
with you and me
Bent

I smiled a vicious, predatory smile and slammed her down hard into a table, snapping it in two.

and if I couldn't sleep could you sleep
could you paint me better off?
could you sympathize with my needs?
I know you think I need a lot

She grimaced and arched her back up in agony. I brought my foot down on her face, crushing her nose. I felt it burst underneath me. I saw blood spurt out from the sides of my shoe. I pulled it away and shook it off, then swung it into her chest. She struggled to breathe...

I started out clean
but I'm jaded
just phonin' it in
just breakin the skin

A chair crashed down across my shoulders, splintering on impact. I turned around to see two of my opponent's gang standing there, a tall one holding a split chair leg and a shorter one grasping a broken beer bottle. They wanted it. They were begging for it. And I wanted it just as badly...

Can you help me
I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together

I lunged at the taller of the two, ramming her with my shoulder. My left hand curled into a fist and came up hard under her chin, snapping her head back as her teeth sank into her bottom lip. I was vaguely aware of the smaller of the two coming up on me, and I lashed out with a backfist. It didn't knock her away far enough. I turned around to watch her sink the broken glass she carried into my stomach, twist it cruelly, and then tear it out again.

keep breakin' me in
and this is how we will live
with you and me
Bent

I looked down at the crimson that began to blossom on the front of my shirt in disbelief. It should have hurt...but I didn't feel anything...all I could do was watch it spread...

stop bendin' me
it's never enough
till I feel all your pieces
stop bendin' me

Everyone around me was screaming and shouting. My eyes stung...was I crying? No...it didn't hurt...there was no tears. I felt hot, and I could see orange licking at the floor a few feet away from me. Smoke? I fell down to my knees, one hand over my torso and one on the floor. I had to go...it was too hot...but I forgot how to move

stop bending me
you keep bending me until
I'm completely broken in

There were two bottles of whisky in front of me, dribbling slowly out onto the floor. Most people are outside now...where did Reina go? What happened? ....am I still bleeding? ...I cant...it doesn't hurt...

shouldn't be so complicated
just touch me and then
just touch me again

...can't stay up. Doesn't work. There's someone kneeling down in front of me...Minako? ..no...no...Stevie...her hair is messy. She's lifting my arm onto her shoulder and trying to help me up. But where are we going? She can't leave her bar....but its so hot. And it makes my eyes sting. Maybe it'd be good to leave. People already went anyway.

Can you help me
I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together

I pull myself up with her...its hard. I'm all red now...not just my eyes. No, my hands are red, and my shirt...I don't want to make Stevie red. The red is bad....it always makes things hurt.

keep breakin me in
and this is how we will live
with you and me bendin'
without understandin'
Hell I'll go there again

...Stevie's crying. Do her eyes sting too? ...or did I get red on her? I'm sorry Stevie...I didn't mean to. I'll fix it...I can fix it...we just have to go outside. Not so hot outside. Doesn't sting.

can you help me
I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
yeah you're breaking me in
and this is how we will live
with you and me...

...i can't...see. It's...ok Stevie. I'll fix it...I can. I just...have to...no..I'm sorry...

Bent