Dirty Pair in Helloween

By Otakuman Urashima

“Damn it, Kei, get out of my room!” Yuri shouted. She was flustered and frustrated having just been bit by Kei’s fake Vampire teeth. It was Halloween and apparently Kei wanted to have some fun.

“Ah cheer up,” Kei mused. She took the fake teeth out and put them in her pocket.

“No, Kei, I have a report to do, now please find yourself something better to do than biting my neck with those stupid things!” Yuri crossed her arms and stared at Kei looking rather annoyed.

“So playful, so bothersome,” Yuri thought. She was lying down in a wet street on the planet Ramstein. She lamented all that brought her there. Kei was no where to be seen.

She got up and walked down the street with a limp. Her arms and right leg were bandaged from many wounds. She managed to survive every battle up until now. She wished she could say the same for all those she was working along side. She hoped Kei was alright.

She remembered what the Chief said, “Be careful Angels, this is not a mission to be taken lightly,” he was right.


“Fine, fine,” Kei said and left the room. She headed for the door.

“Where’re you going?” Yuri asked. She was somewhat concerned for her friend.

“Getting some beer and social points down at Mikako’s, want anything?” she asked while putting on her shoes and coat.

“No, I have to finish this report. Don’t come home too late or drunk!”

“Yeah, Yeah, see you later, Yuri,” Kei smiled and left.

Hours went by and sleep brought its weight down upon Yuri as she typed. The next morning she awoke to find her report looking awfully redundant. The screen was covered with the single letter ‘g’ from sleeping on the keyboard. She fixed it up and saved the file.

“Stupid computer,” she yawned and got up from her chair. The video phone on the wall in their kitchen started ringing. It was probably the chief. “Yeah, hold on, Kei you up!?” she shouted. No reply came from it. She walked over to her room to find the drunk sleeping all sprawled on her bed and tangled in her sheets.

Yuri growled and grabbed her foot. In a moment Kei was on the floor along with her sheets. Yuri left for the video phone.


“Vampires? What the heck are you on, Chief?” Kei laughed from within the Chief’s office. The chief just shook his head.

“Really, and on Halloween of all days!” Yuri rubbed her face in frustration and sighed.

“I’m sorry, but this mission stands as the greatest we were ever hired to do, sadly most of the people who have paid us have already succumbed to the vampires. We have a whole planet paying us now. We need you two, as our best agents,”

“Best paid agents,” Kei added. Yuri smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Look, if you come back alive, you will have a vacation like no other, your choice in place and length. Well, no longer than a month not counting travel there,”

“We’re sold already,” Kei tried to stifle a giggle. She just wanted to try out Nexus for once. It was a vacation planet like no other. The place all the rich wedding couples go for their honeymoons.

“Here’s the data. Just come back alive, ok?” he pleaded with a sigh.

“We always do,” Kei took it, smiled and walked off. Yuri soon followed behind her looking equally confident.

Chief Gooley just shook his head, he knew what they were in forr this time, and it wasn’t going to be pretty.


Upon arriving on the planet Ramstein, they walked down to the awaiting United Galactica volunteer group. 50 men and women already to escort them to where they believe the man responsible for this is located at. The group was larger than this and they had far more munitions than before. The vampires come in swarms. They took their toll on the group.

Kei stretched her arms above her head an yawned. She aimed to get the men’s attention. It wasn’t all that hard either. Yuri took notice and groaned in her unique way. She headed for the general whom seemed no worse for wear. He was not looking all that happy either.

“Hello, This is Kei, I’m Yuri, we are from the.”

“3WA Trouble Consultants, yes, we know. It’s hard to miss such an observation by the looks of you two. To think a couple of femmes would prance around in such ridiculous outfits,” the general ranted. He was quite peeved in general.

“Hey, we are free to wear whatever we see fit!” Kei bit back and clenched her fist.

“Says a lot about your character, eh?” he bit back.

“You think we’re just a couple of rookie ditzes looking to have some fun?” Kei growled.

“I have seen the carnage and I don’t wish for the two of you to be involved,” the general said plainly.

Yuri took notice of his true intentions, “Kei, drop it!”

“Ah, c’mon, I want to punch him one in the nose!” Kei smacked her fist into her other hand.

“Another time, night draws closer. We need to get the lay down of the area, the situation, maybe some weapons,”

“I know, I know,”

“Come with me,” the general requested and walked passed his troops to a bus awaiting them. They took it to their encampment a few miles away.

“Ok, let me get this straight,” Yuri started, “You don’t know who is responsible for this. You have a vague idea where he is located based on the movements of 300 vampires.”

“It’ll be 500 by tonight,” the general added without much thought.

“Great, limited fuel, limited weapons, limited man power and short of blowing the roof off of every building and flooding the sewers to lure them all out into the daylight. We have to wade our way through the swarms to figure out where we need to go to take out the man behind this?”

“It sucks, I know, but it’s all we have to work with. A reinforcement ship should get here in a couple days. Top secret rumor has it that it’ll have the cure on board.”

“So soon? I knew they were making one, but.” Yuri put a hand to her chin. Kei was looking out of the window.

“Well, this situation threatens the safety of the entire planet. The UG leaders fear that the man behind this will use the slaved vampires for making an army or even a space armada rivaling his own. Can you imagine the strength of vampire warriors in armored suits and high powered guns only they could wield let alone conquest planets etc? We were allowed to kill the victims if they attack us, but that didn’t slow them down much.”

“Kill them even if a cure was on the way?” Kei took notice. She had taken the words right out of Yuri’s mouth.

“I’m afraid so, worse thing is, we had to kill many of our own in the process. As equipped as our forces have to be, having them as an enslaved vampire is out of the question.”

“Wonderful,” Yuri muttered.

Kei scratched her head and decided to ask the most important question, “What weapons do we use?”

“We have a sword made of silver. It’ll break easily so use it carefully. Lots of silver bullets, shot guns, cannons, basic upgraded old weapons,” he turned to a comrade whom whispered in his ear.

“No energy weapons?” Kei frowned.

“It’s powerful, but only burns them, they heal quickly. The silver has proved useful. It looks like the doctor is enough of a horror otaku to include the weaknesses as well into his disease. Darkness comes in les than an hour, we march.”

“Can’t we take the bus?” Kei asked. She grabbed a couple shot guns and strapped them to her back. She then strapped on the sheath to her belt followed by a couple revolvers. She looked a silver bullet over having never seen one before.

“It took us 2 horrid nights and a day or so to capture the space port and the area we are in. We have very little fuel left so unless we can find a refill station on the way there, we have to walk. Don’t worry, the vampires can only jump high, they can’t fly or shape shift. Also, remember, shoot to kill, we have the universe to save, the planet if we’re lucky,” he explained.

“Ok, let’s go then,” Kei had fully armed up, carrying more than generally allowed, but the troops didn’t bother to complain. 

Yuri sheathed a sword and strapped a shot gun to her back followed by some bullet rounds. “Yes, let’s hurry, I figure we head for the closest, largest, darkest mansion.”

“Good idea,” the general commented.

The group of 52 started running down the street. Soon the two angels were in the middle of the group as requested by the general. They couldn’t argue. Night drew closer. It soon the night ate the day leaving nothing behind. The creatures of the night stirred and searched for food.

Kei looked over her shoulder at an alley they passed. She was becoming paranoid. Yuri took the shot gun and checked to see if it was loaded, she then closed it and cocked it.

“Here they come, troops, guests, fire at will, but stay close. Make every shot count!” the general shouted. Ten vampires crawled out of the wood work and lunged at the troops, shots were fired taking them out. They crumpled into horrific corpses. More would come in seconds.

Far above the battle stood a man with a big cloak, he smiled at the new people to play with. Everything was according to plan. He would give them this night, but the next would prove fatal.

A couple days have came and went. The reinforcements with the cure were shot down by an unnamed perpetrator. Now the daylight wasn’t safe. The troops have fallen in number and worse of all, Kei had disappeared. Yuri fought to find where she last contacted her from. 

She was alone now, lost in the streets of this peaceful city on the verge of annihilation. The vampire swarms have multiplied to 700 or so just by a guess. There were a hundred or so dead by now though Yuri prayed to who ever would listen that Kei was ok. She could be hiding somewhere, she could be trapped somewhere. She could be captured; she could be dead, or turned into a vampire. Yuri shook the thoughts from her head, but it was no use. They were separated and may never see each other again. Their bond was weakening leaving Yuri depressed.

Kei was the strong one, she would avenge her, but now Kei was gone or worse. She also prayed not to find her if she was a vampire. She did not want to kill her. There was no cure, there was no contact to the outside. She was losing hope fast. All she could do now was to survive. She loaded another round into her shot gun and shot down a couple more vampires charging her. She then took her sword and sliced a couple in half. They fell to the ground and shriveled.

The swarm saw no end. She didn’t care. She had one goal and it stood before her. A giant fortress barred down so the inside would be an eternal night. She had no firepower to blow it up, none existed save for her ship, but it was too far away.

Her arm had been scraped and nearly bit many times. It was bandaged up with cloth from some of the victims of this atrocity. She fired a few more shots and loaded again.

She turned her communicator on again to get only static. She had been doing this for the past day or so. She knew it wouldn’t be any different, but she didn’t care.

She wiped her face only to have a large male vampire tackle her to the ground, he thrust his fangs towards her only to get the side of the shot gun barrel into his mouth. Yuri struggled to get out from under him. She could see other vampires closing in. If she lingered any longer, she wouldn’t survive the night. She cried out of frustration and made a decision.

She would fight on in Kei and the troops’ memory. She would not be a weak flower to cry in battle. If it meant killing every last one of them then so be it. Was no different than the original plan, but she would not look back anymore. 

If Kei was dead, she was going to give her the best funeral she could give her. If she was alive, she would punch her in the face. If she was a vampire, she didn’t know what to think about that. She kicked the vampire off of her and sliced him with her sword. Another vampire latched onto her right leg and bit down hard. She screamed in rage and lobbed off her head. She then shot down a few more vampires and dragged her bleeding leg to an alley. 

She cut the wound with the sword which sizzled unnaturally as it touched the venom from the bite. She let it bleed for awhile and then closed it up with some cloth from a crumpled victim nearby. Hopefully her immune system could take out whatever was left. She gave up worrying about that and tried to stand. A vampire charged forward and lost his head to a gun blast. She loaded another find that she was running low finally. She wished she had Kei’s ammo, but then again that would be bad for Kei.

She could get her partner out of her mindset, she tried to run and fell down on her face. She then pushed herself back onto her feet with help of a wall nearby. She cursed under her breath at the idea she would have to trek slower now. She only had a couple blocks left. She had no idea how many vampires were over there, but they were increasing in number and frequency. Day time would not come for another few hours.

She thought about moving in the day time, but she had to find food and sleep then. With all of the gashes and scrapes she has gotten the past few days and nights, she needed the rest. 

A block or so and an empty shot gun later, Yuri collapsed from exhaustion. The sun peaked out over the horizon and allowed her to rest. She was out of breath and nearly out of her mind having not slept much in the last couple days or nights for that matter. Having that reinforcement ship taken out didn’t give her much reason to sleep during the day. It didn’t matter now, if she didn’t sleep she would be dead just the same as being killed while sleeping.

The vampires hid back underground and within buildings from the sun light. The dark fortress watched over all of them and awaited the angel’s intrusion eagerly.

Cloaked in all black with a hood over his face to keep the sun from touching his skin was the man again. He watched the young agent sleep on the ground where she fell. It was his pleasure taking out that cargo ship. He would not have his creation spoiled with a cure. He would rather have them slaughtered like the past few nights. The planet had a population in the billions. He figured he’d take the planet over in a year.

“One more night, agent, I give you one more night. If you survive, you may enter my fortress. I have much in store for you!” he laughed and walked back into the building nearby. 


Yuri awoke and shook herself fully awake. She had no time to be drowsy. Sunset was approaching fast and she had no time to find food. She used the shot gun to walk a bit better, but it wasn’t long enough to work right. She looked in the windows of some of the houses nearby to see some glowing eyes. They were waiting for her, likely watching her the passed hour or so.

They were hungry.

“Damn it, Kei where are you?” she tried the communicator again only to get static. She found some casings on one of the bodies. It was one of the troops that went with Kei when they got split up. She loaded the shot gun and strapped the belt around herself. She needed all the help she could get.

Night struck down hard and thirty some vampires surrounded her. She was close to the fortress now. This had to be the last stage before it. The last major battle drew closer.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” she fired off the shot gun down a few at once. She then loaded and fired it again. A few more fell. They were lining up. They had no fear of death and nothing to live for save their master’s orders. Yuri cringed at the idea that they may have been ordered to go easy on her.

Three large UG soldiers attacked as a team. The shot gun blasts were blocked by their armor. She drew out the sword and shoved it through one of their chests. It fell in a crumpled heap. She quickly sliced and stabbed the other two while five or so vampires charged from behind. She pulled the sword out with one hand and shot the shot gun blast upside down off her shoulder on a no look shot. She was near deafened by the blast, but it allowed her time to swing the sword around to take out the last two. She then loaded and took out a couple more.

This was becoming tiring, but at least she had a good sleep this time. Five more crumpled in pieces at her feet. She dragged her leg further down the street to have another attack her. She shot it in the head and then sliced another one to her right.

The fortress was not far away, once she got there this would end she could take the mad man out. Perhaps she could find Kei. Maybe she made it in there and took him out already. There were only theories as to how the vampires would act if the master was dead. Maybe they would run wild, or use their last set of orders. Maybe they would just collapse. 

It didn’t matter, Yuri needed to be there, had to see this through for whatever reason. She shot down a few more and loaded up another shot. She was low on bullets again. She decided to save some for the inside. She grabbed a large stick and used it to prop herself up. She sliced a few more attacking vampires and pushed forward step by step. It had been a few hours and the night had a long way to go.

“Damn it Kei, if you are still alive hiding in a hole, I’m going to kill you!” she muttered and drug on.

Some time later she opened the doors of the fortress and headed inside.

“Kei!” Yuri screamed. Her voice carried and bounced off the walls. Only the shuffling of feet could be heard. It sounded like the room was full of vampires. She got her silver sword ready. The door shut hard behind her. She was blind in the darkness, but she still had skills to fall back on.

“Take her out!” a voice filled the room.

At once the vampires attacked. Yuri stabbed and slashed. Shot and kicked. One by one the vampires fell and crumpled. The bodies piled up around her. She fought her way deeper into the pitch black fortress with no care of the odds against her.

She kicked aside a vampire which grabbed her leg and then shoved the sword into the mouth of one grabbing her from the back. She then shoved the crumpled body into an attacking one and followed through with the sword.

She grew sore and tired. Every wound threatened to rip open. The bandages grew wetter with blood. She fought on killing everyone that attacked. She could do no more than a survival instinct.

They smelt blood, they were all blood thirsty beasts with incredible strength and speed, thankfully they weren’t that smart. Yuri slammed her foot into a vampire’s mouth breaking his jaw. She then slammed the sword into another chest. The vampire swarm saw no end.

Yuri almost fell over in pain. Her leg bandage had been ripped away. Blood ran down her leg and onto the floor. The smell and now the taste made the swarm hungrier and greedier. They fought each other for the puddle, while even more fought for her leg. They needed the blood to maintain their strength while Yuri grew weaker. She took them out as before, but she grew sloppy.

The blood loss was getting to her head, she started to come to her senses. Kei was gone, the volunteers were dead. No cure would save the planet. Doctor Voldara could not be stopped. She would become one of them, an immortally insane blood thirsty slave.

She fell onto her knee and fended off a vampire with the side of the silver sword. It gnawed it until she threw her weight into it and broke her jaw.

Her body was beaten and bruised, cut and bleeding. Her right leg was failing her. Her eye sight faded from the blood loss. 

“Enough!” the voice boomed again. Just as quick as when they attacked, they stopped and backed away. “Agent Yuri, you have killed over a hundred of my children with a heart of ice. To think there was a cure made!” Doctor Voldara laughed.

Yuri held her bleeding leg. It wasn’t getting any better. She didn’t have the strength to speak let alone fight anymore. She had killed countless innocent slaves in the attempt to keep from becoming one herself. Now, she had lost hope of rescuing Kei or even herself. All she could think about was all of the wise tales of the after life. So often she stared death in the face, but only now she took his grin seriously.

“One more thing, Kei is dead,” he laughed again. Yuri couldn’t respond. She didn’t care. It wasn’t for the lack of caring. It was more for the lack of life left in herself. Death was expected and only rapture remained. 

“You look pitiful. Allow me to add another piece of news. In this dark fortress, how do you know if you killed your own partner or not?” he laughed again. He was truly enjoying himself.

Yuri opened her eyes wide. The thought had escaped her mind admidst the futile battle. Any one of these horridly crumpled bodies may be hers. She might of killed her. She looked around from where she sat trying to see in the darkness. She could see nothing clearly. “Why,” she choked out the words. She couldn’t stand the thought of Kei becoming a shriveled corpse let alone by her own hands.

“We all have our fetishes, addictions, and hobbies, little one. For coming this far, I will help you find her body. Well, what’s left of it anyways!”

A light appeared a couple yards away against a wall. There a cross was erected. It moved mechanically so it laid on the ground. It seemed the doctor felt Yuri would be unable to stand. The cross was painted black and stained red with blood. Upon the cross was a painful sight. Yuri, against her better judgment, dragged her failing leg to it. After a time she reached it. 

Kei was there strapped to the cross with thin metal wires up and down her bare body. Blood had been drained onto the ground below, more than likely to feed the swarm awaiting their next meal behind her. Yuri pulled out a knife from her belt. The least she could do was to get her down from there.

She cut the wires down one by one. They stuck to Kei’s skin and left painful looking scars upon removing them. Sometimes they tore the skin away. Yuri pulled her self up and cut the wires off Kei’s left arm. She held onto it for a moment. It was light and cold. There wasn’t a pulse either.

She finished cutting her down and removing the wires. She then slumped to the ground with Kei in her arms. Her right leg stopped working right and she could no longer stand.

“What a delightful sight,” the doctor mused. He appeared before them. “I must say, you are two strong, fine young ladies. It would delight me more than, hehe. Did I forget to mention, she was also hungry?” a single drip from his hand from a self inflicted wound fell upon Kei’s dried lip.

Her eyes opened and her mouth revealed large fangs. Yuri fell over backwards in shock. She had no power or will to fight. All this time killing to preserve her own humanity now made useless before her own partner.

“You will both become my brides!” the doctor laughed long and hard as Kei threw herself onto Yuri with her fanged mouth wide open.

Yuri threw her head back and let out a silent scream. 

“You know how a vampire works?” he asked. “Arteries severed, snake like fangs inject a poison turning you into them. DNA is rewritten, wounds are healed and best part of all, you are my slaves!”

Tears formed in her eyes and fell to ground from the pain. Or wa it pleasure? She was as good as dead now. Just another fallen vollunteer wishing for death. Kei was starved on purpose, a mighty slave to serve as back up to the swarm could of been speculated. Now only time ticked by until time couldn’t be counted.

“I’m sorry, Kei,” Yuri choked, her voice weak. Blood dripped from her mouth. With what strength remained, she took her left hand and patted Kei’s head as she had her fill. Already, Kei’s wounds and scars were healing, but she would not yet be satisfied. Yuri grabbed the sword and positioned it against Kei’s back.

“You would die together, wouldn’t you? Enough!” he pulled Kei off of her and lifted Yuri off the ground. Yuri held her neck where she was bit. Her vision was failing her, she would die of blood loss soon.

“Come now, my undead angel. You will feel no pain in a few minutes. The poison will turn you soon. Your wounds will heal soon after,” he grinned. 

Yuri held the sword limply against his chest with her right. He laughed at the idea.

“You plan on killing me in your weakened condition? Any second now you will become my slave. Already, I can see you turn, go ahead and try!” he brought her close as to tease her further. He grabbed her face and pried her mouth open. “Where’s your fangs?” he raised an eyebrow.

She shoved the sword as hard as she could into his heart. They fell to the ground. He tried to pull it out only to have Yuri put her weight into it. She removed her hand from her neck and dropped the fake vampire teeth onto his crumpling body. “Arrogant bastard,” she thought and feinted. The doors opened the next moment allowing the UG reinforcements including paramedics to infiltrate. They had orders to cure all that survived. They had been waiting for the battle to end. The death of hundreds of their comrades the pass day and night or so left them rightfully afraid. 

Back to YFFH