Ohayo minna!! Well this is my first ever Sailor Moon fan fiction. Its and Ami/Makoto story so if you have problems with that kind of thing you might not want to read this. Its sort of an alternaverse where the Outer Senshi are around, its after the Deathbuster scenario. I'm not using anything set after that because that's all I've seen. Anyway I hope you like it. More Author notes will appear at the end. Now you are going to see Usagi act more mature than she is usually depicted but if you ever watch her or listen to what she says (at least when it comes to her friends) she is the most emotionally mature of the scouts. Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or any of the characters. Those are owned by Naoko Takeuchi and numerous others. I also don't own the song To Make You Feel My Love. That was written by Bob Dylan copyright 1957, Special Rider Music.
Darkness surrounded her. The small child looked around frantically for her parents but they were no where to be seen. Crying hysterically the child ran forward, tripping and skinning her knee. She looked up to see her parents plane erupting in flame and spinning toward the ground. Closer and closer until...
"NNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Makoto woke with a start. The nightmare had come again. It had come to her off and on since her parents death. It made her feel terribly lonely sometimes. So lonely she often wondered where she would be if she hadn't met Usagi, Rei, Minako, lovely Ami, Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna, Chibi-Usa; her only friends. In fact Usagi had been her first real friend. Wait a minute, she thought, how did lovely creep in there? I must be not getting enough sleep. Still she did have to admit that Ami was pretty. Pretty, brilliant, charming, witty, WAIT A MINUTE; what am I thinking? I'm not like that am I? Sighing Makoto decided to put such thoughts aside. She looked over at her clock 6:00 am.
"Ugh," she said. "Well looks like I'll be early to school for once." With that she trudged into the kitchen to prepare her breakfast. As she cooked she found her thoughts drifting back to Ami and what her favorite foods might be. Again she tried to shake such thoughts finished her meal. After eating she quickly dressed and was out the door in record time, well record for her at any rate. She walked slowly to Juuban Junior High hoping that no one would notice how tired and worn out she looked. Especially a certain blue haired genius her mind teased. Growling under her breath for her mind to shut up. No point in risking harm to one's self, and Makoto would follow through in her current mood. As she arrived she saw Ami walking up to greet her.
"Hi Makoto," she said in that sweet, melodic voice *shut up brain*, "You don't look well Makoto are you all right?" Ami put her hand gently on Makoto's arm, electricity flowed into Makoto's body making her feel decidedly uncomfortable.
"Uh..hi Ami, look I gotta get to class see ya!" Darting off down the hall Makoto hoped that Ami wouldn't think anything too unusual. 'Yeah right!' she thought. All that day she avoided Ami and when school let out she went straight home, knowing that if she went to the arcade as usual Ami would be there and then things would just get awkward again. 'Why is this happening?' Makoto thought to herself. 'When did I start to think of her as more than a friend? She has Greg after all.' At the thought of his name Makoto felt a pang of jealousy invade her thoughts. 'Ack!' she thought. 'No I do not think of her that way! I can't be like that can I?' A knock at her door interrupted her thoughts. 'Saved by the knock' she thought. As she went to the door she checked the peek hole and saw Usagi standing there. Opening the door she greeted her friend as warmly as she could since her mind was still nagging her about other things.
"Hey Usagi, what's up?" Bunny entered Makoto's apartment a concerned look across her face.
"Hey Mako-chan. Not much but I was worried about you so I thought I would stop by and make sure you were ok. Ami would have come to but she had Cram School." At the mention of Ami's name Makoto felt a flip-flop in her stomach. "Makoto are you ok? Ami said she was worried about you, and you've avoided us all day."
"Look Usagi," Makoto said, "Uh....I have some thing's to do uhm could we talk later?"
"No." Makoto shocked at this and tried a more direct approach.
"Usagi I don't want to talk about it now leave."
"No Makoto. Something's bothering you and as your friend I can't just leave and let you deal with it by yourself. I wouldn't be much of a friend if I did that." Makoto looked at her friend and knew she wouldn't be swayed.
"All right Usagi I'll tell you; but it goes no further than this room ok? You have to promise me you won't tell anyone, even if they ask."
"I can do that Makoto, in case you haven't noticed I'm pretty good at keeping secrets." Usagi said with a slight grin. Makoto led Usagi to her couch and sat next to her. Telling her about the plane wreck that took her parents lives was hard but Usagi merely wrapped her friend in a comforting embrace and held her while she spoke and the tears began to flow.
"The nightmares have come pretty constantly since then. They just don't stop, and lately they've been getting worse. That's not even the worst of my problems Usagi and I'm afraid if I tell you then you won't want to be my friend any more."
"Mako," Usagi said gently. "There is nothing you could do to stop being my friend; and I mean nothing. I care about you guys too much to ever hurt you like that." At this Makoto started to cry harder.
"Usagi...I..I think I might be gay." There was silence for a moment and Makoto was afraid that her fears were coming true when Usagi hugged her tighter, crushing her with a patented Usagi bear hug.
"Is that all? Makoto I'm honored that you would confide that in me."
"Then..then we're still friends?" Makoto asked. Usagi giggled.
"Of course we are Mako. I'm friends with Haruka and Michiru aren't I? Makoto you can tell me anything. I will ALWAYS be here even when you say you don't want me to be."
"Uhm...Usagi there's more." Makoto half sobbed half choked. "I think I'm falling in love with Ami. Th..that's why I've been avoiding her all day. Usagi I don't know if I can handle this." Makoto finally broke down and sobbed uncontrollably while Usagi held her and softly whispered encouraging words to her. After what seemed like hours Makoto broke the embrace and stood.
"Uhm Usagi," she said, "I would kinda like to be alone for a while, maybe get some rest, or at least try to. Is that ok?"
"Sure Makoto," Usagi said smiling, "Just remember I'm here if you need to talk. Oh, and Makoto talk to Ami. You never know what might happen." With that Usagi turned and let herself out of Makoto's apartment. Makoto chuckled to herself, Usagi just didn't understand. Ami wasn't like that, she had Greg. 'Jealous much' her brain teased. Shaking her head Makoto went to her bed and collapsed the tears forming again. Slowly she cried herself to sleep only to tormented by the nightmares again.
While this was going on, across town at a rather well to do beach house Ami was finishing a practice session of singing an old Bob Dylan song with Haruka playing piano, and Michiru playing violin to accompany her. She had been practicing since she heard about the upcoming school talent show to raise money for charity. Needless to say they had been surprised when Ami had asked for their help and even more shocked to find that she could sing as well as she could. As they finished the days practice Haruka finally decided to find out where she had gotten so good.
"So tell me Ami," she said as she ran her hand through her short blonde hair, "Where did you learn to sing so well?"
"Yes Ami," Michiru said as she thread one of her arms around Haruka's waist, "We never knew you sing like that. Why do you hide it?" Ami giggled. (Yes Ami giggled she's been known to do so, not often but on occasion)
"Well actually I've been taking lessons for years. Yes I study a lot but did you really think that was ALL I ever did? As for hiding it, well, I guess I just wasn't ready to let anyone know. Only Usagi knows about the lessons and she swore she would never tell." Haruka and Michiru smiled at the openness that Ami was showing them. Then Haruka got a playful gleam in her eye.
"So Ami why that particular song? Got someone special you're singing it to. That Greg fellow maybe?" Ami blushed a deep crimson as Haruka felt a very sharp elbow to her ribs.
"Its ok Ami." Michiru said. "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to. After all we've only been friends a short while. We still want to till make up for trying to kill Usagi."
"Stop." Ami said with a bit more force then they were used to. "Usagi forgave you for that. Its not my place to keep being mad if she can forgive. As for the song," she flustered for a moment turning crimson again, "There is someone I'm singing it for. I can't say who just yet but its not Greg."
"Really?" Michiru asked. "But I thought you two were so close." Haruka chuckled at this knowing that now Michiru might be the one digging to much. However she also knew better than to try and stop Michiru from asking. Ami looked out at the ocean and sighed.
"We were never really any more than close friends. He wrote me recently and told me he found his soulmate in America. As I recall he said she was a psychic as well. I wished him the best, and that's the last I heard from him." Haruka and Michiru decided not to press further and offered to drive Ami home.
"No thank you," she said. "Actually I'll take the bus to Rei's shrine. We're supposed to be having a study session. Although if I know Usagi it'll degenerate into a gossip fest. I hope Makoto shows up though, I think she was avoiding Usagi and I all day. She looked terrible when I saw her this morning."
"I'm sure she'll be ok Ami." Haruka said gently. "So same time tomorrow?"
"You're on Haruka. Thank you both you're a big help." Smiling she left the beach house and ran to the bus stop. After she was out of sight Haruka smiled down at Michiru.
"Sound familiar?" she asked
"Now don't start." Michiru said, "We don't know for sure and even if we did its not our business. Besides as I recall you were the one running away from me." Playfully slapping at Haruka's shoulder, her lover gently took her wrist and softly kissed it as she smiled.
"Why do you think I asked if it sounded familiar?" Haruka said with a playful smile.
As expected the Senshi Study Session degenerated into an all out gossip and giggle fest. Ami just smiled knowing that Usagi wasn't anywhere near the ditz people thought she was. Thinking back on the day they had met she remembered the honest way she had apologized for saying such mean things about her (long time ago watch "Computer School Blues" if you want to know what I'm referring to). Usagi and the others had made significant improvements in their studies so Ami didn't press them as much as she used to. As the session ended and everyone was leaving Ami pulled Usagi aside on the stress to talk to her.
"Usagi is Makoto ok? She didn't make it to our "study session" today?" Usagi saw the genuine look of concern on Ami's face but she knew she could never betray Makoto's trust.
"Makoto's ok Ami. She's just a little tired today. I'm sure be feeling better tomorrow." 'At least I hope so' she thought. Ami still looked worried and was thinking to herself that perhaps Usagi wasn't telling her everything. Still she knew if Usagi wasn't saying anything then it must have been a big deal and it was better to not press the issue.
"Thank you for going to check on her Usagi. I couldn't miss Cram School this week." They shared a secret smile at this since both knew where she had really been.
"I'll see you at school tomorrow Ami-chan. TTFN."
"Not if see you first Usagi." Ami said. She slowly walked home thinking about how she gotten where she was now. Her thoughts drifted to Makoto and the first time she had seen her. Not as Jupiter but as just plain Makoto; eating lunch with Usagi when no one else would even talk to her. She had been taken back by Makoto's beauty and obvious kindness. 'Karate maniac indeed!' she thought. 'She's the nicest person I've ever met. I guess that's why I fell for her. Still she couldn't help but feel bad about Greg. She always felt like she had led him on, of course that wasn't the case. In one of their first letters she had told him she really wasn't interested in a boyfriend and he had put two and two together like a good little genius. She had told Usagi only recently and wasn't at all surprised by her response. She had hugged her and told her that it didn't matter and that she would always be her best friend. Usagi never ceased to amaze people with her ability to love so completely and unconditionally. That's why she was doing this talent show for Makoto. To let her know that she was loved, even if it wasn't requited it was enough for Ami to let Makoto know how she felt. Of course how to tell her without the whole auditorium knowing would be a challenge indeed; but that was a challenge for later. Right now she just wanted to sleep.
The next day, Friday, Makoto looked worse than she had the day before. This time Ami decided that she was going to find out was wrong if she had to lock Makoto in a room with Melvin for an hour. She walked up to Makoto during lunch and sat beside her.
"Makoto," she said startling the auburn haired beauty, "I want you to tell me why you haven't been sleeping. its obvious by looking at you that something's wrong." Makoto knew she wasn't going to get out of this one. Ami could be as stubborn, if not more so, than Usagi when she had her mind set on something. She sighed heavily and proceeded to tell Ami about the plane crash that had killed her parents and how the anniversary of their deaths was coming up. About the nightmares that had plagued her for too many years to count. She was on the verge of tears again when Ami hugged her gently.
"Its ok Makoto. You have a new family, the senshi. We'll be here for you whenever you need us. Tell you what why don't you come to the school talent show this Saturday. Its a charity event and it might help take your mind off things for awhile." Thunder rolled in Makoto's heart as she felt Ami's warmth and she slowly pulled away blushing.
"Uhm.....sure Ami. I'll be there." she said. "I'm gonna head home now though, I need to try and get some sleep, even is its only for a little while. Don't expect me at the study meeting tonight I'll try and make it after the Talent show. I need all the rest I can get till then." She then stood slwoly and made her way to the nurse's office to get permission to go home. Ami smiled, she had seen Makoto blush. 'Please let that mean something' she prayed. 'Well', she thought, 'tomorrow I should know one way or the other.
Saturday night at the Juuban theater.
Glancing at the clock Makoto saw it was nearing the time to leave. The show started at eight in the evening so she had about an hour to get there. Checking her reflection one last time she looked herself over. She had chosen a forest green, velvet dress, a pink, silk wrap and matching shoes. She wore her standard rose earrings and light make-up. This night she decided to let her hair down and not wear it in her usual style. She wanted to look as beautiful as possible tonight. There was something in the air, she wasn't sure what it was but she knew something special was going to happen tonight.
She arrived at the theater in time to see the other senshi ,minus Ami, Haurka and Michiru, meeting at the entrance. Usagi was, of course, with Mamoru while the other girls had come by themsleves. They waved her over and got their seats together. Makoto leaned over and asked Usagi
"Where's Ami? I thought she would be here of all people." Usagi giggled slightly. Thankfully none of the other girls or Mamoru heard them talking.
"She'll be here Makoto," Usagi whispered, "Just be patient."
The show went on for an hour and a half, still no sign of Ami. Sighing Makoto was about to get up and leave when she heard the anouncer's voice come over the speakers.
"Ladies and gentleman for our final performance we at Juuban Junior High are proud to have our own student Ami Mizun sing a specially selected song." 'WHAT!" her mind screamed. 'Ami....singing? Will wonders never cease?' The anouncer's voice came up again. "Accompaning Miss Mizuno will be the famous violinist Michiru Keioh and Haruka Tenoh!" At this Makoto nearly fainted but managed to refrain from doing so as Ami walked onto the stage wearing a blue evening gown with matching long gloves and saphire earrings. Haruka and Michiru took their places as Ami picked up the microphone and began to speak.
"I would like to dedicate this song to someone very special to me. My wonderful emerald eyed friend, I hope you listen to the song very closely." Now Makoto was amazed, Ami had found her and locked gazes while she spoke, and continued to do so as Haruka and Michiru began to play. At the proper time Ami's voice harmonized with the music with an unsurpassed beauty. Makoto recognized the song as an old Bob Dylan song that had been covered by numerous artitsts though never quite as well as Ami was singing.
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I could never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love
At the song's end the auditorium was in tears at the beautiful rendition of the old song and Makoto was the first to stand and was quickly joined by all in attendance in giving Ami a standing ovation. Later as people were leaving Makoto told Usagi that she wanted to talk to Ami alone. Usagi nodded and grabbed the other senshi, with the help of Haruka and Michiru, and dragged them off to get a post show meal. Makoto walked over to Ami and the two looked into each others' eyes.
"Ami." Makoto coughed through a tear, "Please tell me that song meant waht I hope it meant."
"What do you think my emerald eyed love?" Ami drew Makoto into a warm embrace and slowly pulled the taller girl's face to hers as they shared a passionate kiss. Makoto was freely crying now, but not with sadness, for the first time in as long as she could remember she was truly happy and didn't feel alone.
"So," Ami said, "when do we tell the others?"
"How about now,? I can guess where they went to eat." Makoto wrapped her arm around Ami's shoulder and the two walked over to the Crown Fruit Parlor where they saw their friends waiting for them. Setsuna and Minako had their I-knew-this-was-going-happen looks on their faces as the two approached. After the length conversation in which Usagi had hugged the two of them in her fiercest bear hug to date the two seperated.
"I'll call you tomorrow Ami." Makoto said.
"Ok my heart," Ami replied with a smile, "I'll look forward to it." They shared another loving kiss and went to their seperate homes. As Makoto slept that night the nightmares that had plagued her for so many years were replaced by a new dream. A dream of her spending the rest of her life with her soulmate. Her beautiful bluebird, Ami.
Hope you liked it.
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