Don't Fantasize About Me

By Ashko



*_____* = thoughts (______) = author’s note

Note: I know, you’re thinking ‘What’s with all the notes?!?!’ but I need to clear this up before anything happens. I know that across from Tomoyo’s bed, there is not a TV or a VCR, there is a couch thingy (I checked it out on my DVD) but, let’s just pretend that there’s a big screen, shall we?


*Finished!* Tomoyo lifted her latest sketch of Sakura up to the lamp light on her desk and admired it, noticing a few curves she might want to edit later. She eyed it a bit and set it back down, tapping her pencil against her shoulder, it was one of her few drawings in which Sakura wasn’t wearing one of her costumes. Sakura’s stance was normal, just smiling, waving at the looker, she wore her usual fuku uniform too…normal for high school that is. *Now…I think I’ll..*

Carefully, Tomoyo added a few words next to the picture of Sakura:

I love you!

Tomoyo squinted and erased the exclamation mark, then she put:

I love you..

Frustrated, Tomoyo sat her pencil down. *In one, she’s cheerful and in the other, she just doesn’t seem to be..* She glanced about her former-organized desktop to see the sketches of Sakura in costumes, each costume just a little more revealing than the last. *I never thought I’d want her this bad, it’s getting out of hand. Before I know it, I’ll be drawing her in her birthday costume..* Before Tomoyo could get a mental picture, she shook her head and flipped the picture over. *This _has_ to stop before she figures it out..*

Tomoyo glanced over at her clock, Sakura was supposed to be there in about ten minutes…She sighed and gathered her papers together, placing them into a drawer. *Do I look okay?* She felt her hair and then took out a brush from another drawer of her desk, pulling it through her long black hair.

Knock knock! Tomoyo turned to her door and heard a body guard say, "Daidouji-san, Kinomoto-san is here." The door opened and Sakura practically bounced into the room, as cheerful as ever. "Tomo-chan!" The bodyguard closed the door as Sakura gave her best friend a huge bear hug. "Eek!" Tomoyo squeaked as her shoulders were pressed together and she dropped the brush but she smiled, happy to see the other girl. "Hi." She rose an eyebrow, noticing Sakura was already in her Pj’s. Tomoyo still wore her school uniform.

Sakura pulled away from her friend and pulled a few videos out from her little backpack, Tomoyo grinned. "What? More of your hentai?" She was smacked and Sakura sat the tapes down on Tomoyo’s bed, she said, "They’re some of my father’s old romance movies, I found them in the basement." Tomoyo shrugged, "Love movies..hentai..what’s the difference?" She was answered by another smack.

Since they had grown older (five years) , it only made sense that they would have changed a little. Tomoyo had begun to tease Sakura once in a while and also got taller than the emerald-eyed girl, while..well, the only thing that changed about Sakura was the length of her hair, it was just a little longer. She had it in her loose ponytail but her bangs were still there. (If you’ve seen Rikku, you know what I mean.)

"The ‘difference’ is--no..I won’t say it, not to your virgin ears." Sakura stopped herself before she went a little too far. *That would probably insult her.* Tomoyo knew what it would’ve been, she decided to give Sakura a break and she said, "Well, since you’re in _your_ pj’s, I guess I’ll do the same. Pop in a movie?" She nodded and Tomoyo took a small bunch of clothing out of her closet and headed to the bathroom to change.

While in there, Tomoyo changed into her navy blue pj’s and brushed her teeth, trying not be a little nervous. Love movies? Now really..if she was lucky, they’d just watch them and poke fun at the characters. If not..well, Tomoyo didn’t know what else could really happen. *Oh well.* After a few minutes, Tomoyo popped out of the room and tossed her clothing in the hamper on the way to her bed. Sakura smiled from under the sheets, she already had a movie in and she had the remote too. *This is way-y-y weird, if she’s trying to hint at something, she needs to learn the meaning of the word ‘tact’. If not, then she’s askin’ for it..* With a light smile, Tomoyo lifted up the covers and slipped under them, she asked, "Why don’t you push ‘play’ now?"

"Okay!" Sakura cheerfully replied, pressing the ‘play’ button on the little remote. In a quick movement, she scooted a couple feet closer to the other girl and nuzzled against her. Tomoyo looked down as Sakura explained her actions, "It’s just been a while since we did anything like this. know, you’re always busy with choir and your photography classes and me with.." She was silenced by the understanding gaze Tomoyo gave her. The girl beside her was glad that they hadn’t drifted too far, she knew they would eventually patch things up and they would get closer together like they usually did, but how much closer could they get? Where was the line Sakura would most likely draw between them? Was there a line?

Tomoyo sighed and tried to get a little more comfortable, Sakura stopped her nuzzling and settled for resting her head on the taller girl’s shoulder. The movie eventually started, it was some horrible dubbed version of an American movie, called ‘When in Rome’. The actual purpose for watching it was beyond Tomoyo, it wasn’t even the right kind of love. *Leave it to the Americans to make something so..predictable and bland in the department of emotions, they know barely anything about the kind of feelings I have for my dearest Sakura..not that that could ever be written down or acted out. I can’t even describe it..* She peeked at Sakura, who just so happened to be grinning from ear to ear, it looked like it was going to be the kind of movie to make fun of. Out of the blue, Sakura pointed out, "Two people don’t just fall in love like that!"

Tomoyo agreed and then Sakura moved away from her, she asked, "Ooh, let’s change the movie. I also got a copy of ‘Balto’." *Balto? Oh well...I guess we’re just going to be watching movies here in bed all night.* Tomoyo got a smug look, maybe Sakura would fall asleep on her? Sakura noticed and correctly guessed what Tomoyo was thinking about, she said, "Hey Tomo-chan, I wanna ask you about something. Can you guess what it is?" She tilted her head to the side in question and Tomoyo gulped, she barely squeaked out her answer. "Love?" Sakura bonked her on the head lightly with her fist and giggled, she replied, "No, I was going to ask you if I snore or not!"

Tomoyo almost fell over on the bed but she regained her stature and said, "No, Sakura-chan, you do not snore at all..just a few light sounds here and there, but I think it’s cute." As usual, one of Tomoyo’s comments made Sakura blush. "What made you think I wanted to talk about love? It was the movie, wasn’t it? Yeah….kinda made me do the same, almost." Sakura paused and turned away, then pasted on her best smile, lightly smacking Tomoyo in the shoulder. "This movie is the best! It’s funny, a little romantic, and..there’s tons of action. You’ll love it."

The two girls wouldn’t let the rest of the night be ruined by awkward silences, they carried on as if nothing had happened..well, nothing really did anyways so why even talk about it? *It was Tomoyo being all weird as usual, that‘s probably what she’s thinking.*

Before she even realized it, Tomoyo was nodding off, Sakura gave her a sideways glance and smiled a bit. *She can’t handle these hours…not like me, being a card captor made it so I was awake past midnight sometimes. Oh well, I’ll just turn the movie off and hop back into bed next to her.* Sakura slowly inched off the bed and turned the TV off, squeaking because then she found herself in near total darkness. *Eek! I gotta feel my way back to the bed!* In the dark, she waved her hands about to try and find the bed, hoping she wouldn’t trip over anything.

No, she did not ‘accidentally’ fall onto Tomoyo, instead, Sakura made it back to the bed safely and barely touched her cousin as she settled in under the sheets. She looked out the window to her right at the full moon and then shifted to see Tomoyo, completely out like a light. *So much for my plan...* Sakura sighed and turned over, grabbing a fistful of comforter to snuggle up with.

Sakura laid there for a bit until she realized that she just plain wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, something was keeping her awake and she couldn’t figure out what. *Maybe it’s a nagging feeling..let’s see..I turned the stove off at home..I hid the strawberry cheesecake from Kero..nope, I haven’t forgotten anything.* When she finally figured out just what was hindering her from sleep, she decided to tire herself out somehow. *I bet Tomoyo, all her maids and body guards, can’t clean this entire house..mansion, there must be something I can do..*

And so, Sakura started out on her ridiculous quest to do something to pass the time until she felt like going back to bed. *Oh come on, don’t tell me _all_ of the trash has been taken out?!* She stood in the middle of a hallway and glanced from side to side, it was ludicrous. Sakura finally found her target in the kitchen downstairs. There, the trash can was full. Satisfied, the girl dropped to her knees on the tile.

Just then, the lights clicked on and Tomoyo’s mother walked in. At first, she just stood watching in wonder, then she asked in a calm voice, "Now, Sakura, I hope that my girl isn’t keeping you awake, is she?" Sakura shot up from her position and bowed several times. "No, no! It’s just me, Daidouji-san..I can’t sleep right now..and..I didn’t know you were here, I thought you were off in America on a business trip." Sonomi nodded, guessing just what was bothering Sakura..after all, she was almost the same age when she..((No! I‘m not talking about that!!)) Sonomi placed a hand on Sakura’s shoulder and walked her to the staircase, she said, "Off to bed with you. She’s waiting."

Before Sakura could say or ask anything, Sonomi walked away and disappeared further into the house. *Guess that was pretty stupid of me..oh well, at least I’m not as hyper as before.* Up the stairs and into Tomoyo’s bedroom she went, stopping herself before she collapsed on Tomoyo’s bed as not to wake up the other girl. Instead, she slowly crawled under the sheets and settled down with a sigh. She jumped when Tomoyo asked, "Did you go down to the kitchen for something?" Sakura winced and whispered, "Yeah..I did."

Silence reigned over the two of them for a bit, each thinking that the other was sleeping. Spontaneous as Sakura sometimes was, she rolled over and rested her head on Tomoyo’s shoulder. *KAMI-SAMA?!* Tomoyo almost pushed her away but instead she froze in place, not able to move, barely remembering to breathe. *What do I..? Why did..? Is she..did she mean to...does she..?!* Sakura looked up at her shocked friend and asked, almost hurt, "Daijoubu ka, Tomo-chan?" She was awake?! Tomoyo mouthed words but nothing came out, as if to squeeze out an answer, Sakura nuzzled her friend. "I-I..was just shocked that’s all." That was all she said, Sakura innocently replied, "Oh come on, like we haven’t hugged before? This is the kind of thing best friends do all the time!"

Ooh, arrow to the heart! Tomoyo painfully smiled and closed her eyes to hide the pain, Sakura just had to remind her of her title. The title that truly drew the line; best friend. Yes, there must have been a line, after all.. could best friends love each other? *That’s silly, I know Sakura loves me. But she doesn’t love love me...whatever that means.* No commitment, nothing to stop Sakura from falling in love with some guy..that was a part of the meaning Tomoyo derived from those words, the other part was on her side. ‘Friend’ meant that the girl beside her would never be ‘in’ love with her, never feel enthralled by her. There she was, right there...Tomoyo could lift a hand and touch Sakura but that was a forbidden gesture, she was just a ‘best friend’, what right did she have to alter that? *None.*

(End of night)

Morning slowly came to be, rays of sunlight shot above Tomoyo’s curtains and into the room, missing the bed. Birds chirped in the background, chimes clanged against each other, it promised to be a perfectly normal morning. Sonomi was gone, she had left for the airport just hours before. Tomoyo was waking up from a perfect dream….one that she could never tell her best friend about, as she laid there, she realized that Sakura had turned over in her sleep and practically slept on the other side of the bed. *What? Did I push her away on accident or something?* Then it dawned on her, remembering the strangeness of the night before, Tomoyo silently recollected her emotional turmoil and sighed.

At that sound, Sakura’s eyes snapped open and for a brief moment she didn’t know where she was. *How did I end up on _this_ side of the bed? Oh well…* She turned over and her eyes met those of Tomoyo’s and Sakura smiled. "Hey, love." Tomoyo painfully smiled, giving up questioning Sakura’s behavior, she’d just have to go along with it until the other girl reverted back to her normal self. "Hi.." She had to stop herself from laughing at Sakura when she saw her hair, it was all messed up but the girl still managed to be just as cute and adorable as ever. "Wha…?" Sakura felt her head and smiled, then she asked, "Do you have a brush I can use?"

Tomoyo thought a bit and nodded, pointing to her desk, she still wasn’t all there because of the early hours. How could she have known that she just pointed Sakura to her ‘secret’ drawer with all of those sketches of her? Sakura didn’t even notice that Tomoyo’s brush was actually on the floor, right beside the bed…..

And so, fate had it that Sakura _would_ open the drawer with all of the papers in it. When Sakura gasped, Tomoyo realized just what she had done. *Oh, crap…..* Sakura reached down and lifted the small pile of papers out of the drawer, still not saying a word. The top page was one with her wearing a rather skimpy costume. She looked at it sideways as Tomoyo continued to tense up. "Sakura-chan….I…um…was just…" That was all she could say, she couldn’t really give her a reason for drawing her…except for love. *Now what? Instantaneous death?* Her mind was screaming at her, telling her to tear those papers away and run away to who-knows-where but she knew that Sakura was by far the better runner. *Damn…*

When Sakura took a look at the other pages, she began to frown, and then she got to the last page. The one with ‘I love you..’ written on it, Sakura squinted and looked to Tomoyo for the first time in minutes. "What is the meaning of this? Is this what you want from me or something?" The other girl could only squeak but she tried to answer, "I just..want..well…if you don’t…eh…" Tomoyo noted just how cowardly she sounded and stopped trying to answer, Sakura was practically glaring at her.

Sakura huffed and calmly said, "Don’t fantasize about me." Then, she turned away from her and set the papers back into the drawer. Tomoyo was hurt, deep, Sakura hated how she felt, it was obvious now. Before Tomoyo could try and say anything more to justify her actions, Sakura headed towards the door. *I’ve lost her now.* Her blood boiled, she felt like hitting herself like a hammer.

But to her surprise, Sakura did not leave the room, it seemed as though she never meant to. Sakura turned around with a smile and said, "I’m right here, Tomo-chan." In an instant, Tomoyo’s mood turned upside down. She had been forgiven? Tomoyo didn’t fully understand just what Sakura meant, so the girl added, "It’s for real, I…love you, Tomoyo. So, don’t fantasize about me because I really do love you." Tomoyo’s mouth fell open and she got out of the bed, but just then, Sakura charged her and they fell onto the bed together.

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