Little bells jingled as he walked through the white nature. Snow crackled under
his heavy boots and his breath danced in little clouds in front of his long,
white beard. A happy smile laid on his face, his cheeks were redden. Today was a
special day. A day he loved the most. For over thousands of years. Today was his
Silently he hummed a song as he glanced at his pocket clock. Just three more
hours and it all would began. Like every year. And like every year he could not
await to get to his reindeers and to make children happy. All around the world.
The old man turned towards the white house and looked sadly through its big
window. As every year one child wasn't happy. Well, child, the girl he once met
wasn't a child any longer. During the past twenty years she grew up to a
wonderful young woman. But still she didn't give in. Still she didn't want to
accept her destiny and become an angel. He was sure that she would be a great
angel. She had a good heart and cared for other people. She could be happy here.
Yes, she could be. But she wasn't. She died when she had been five and she
missed her parents and the life on earth. Her parents were very old now, they
wouldn't recognize her any more. But nevertheless she wanted to return. Not the
last year and not the year before, but he knew that she had another chance. A
last chance. To find someone who would love her and who would want her to stay.
The old man sighed deeply.
He felt sympathy with her and gave her three chances to return. She had looked
so desperate. A sad, little girl. But he should have known better than she
wouldn't find anyone within that short time. She already wasted two times and he
doubted that she wouldn't find someone at her third try. Although he would be
glad to see her happy.
I wish I had more powers.
He wiped away some snow from his red coat and put down his huge sack as he
entered the house. As always she was sitting in front of a mirror, covering a
whole wall. As always she was watching a special person. Or better two persons.
For a moment he looked at the blonde woman pushing a trolley. A little girl was
sitting in it and grabbing chocolate and other stuff the young woman put
patiently back. A smile laid on her face and the little girl beamed back at her.
There was love written all over her face.
"You want to risk it again, don't you?" he asked and smiled understanding as she
winced and turned around. Tears were sparkling in her eyes and she held a
handkerchief tight in her hands. Still she wore the strange red jacket. Although
some people here told her that it was ugly, she didn't put it away. For her it
was something special. A substitute for something. Or better, someone.
"It's my third try." She nodded, again looking longing at the two persons buying
food and other things for Christmas. "If she doesn't want me, then it's destiny.
Then I'll take my place her and become an angel. As it was meant."
"But you want to stay with them." It was not a question, the answer was too
"Hai..." The young woman stroke some strands of her sea green hairs on her back
and lowered her head. "The longer I watched her and her daughter, the more I
know how much I want to be part of her life, too. The more I know how much I
"Will she love you in return?"
"I have no idea." Tears ran down pale cheeks. "I really have no idea. But I'll
have to go."
The old man stroke through his white beards.
"Her friends won't visit her this Christmas. Her best friend studies in a far
away country and the funny girl, the clumsy one, is giving birth to her own
child and all the other girls are in hospital now."
"It's going to be a daughter."
"How do you know that?"
"She knows it. I don't know why, I am not very good in human things, but she
told her the gender some weeks ago and all the girls were happy."
And I am not.
I want to be in hospital, too. I want to belong to that crazy team and be happy
about the little girl's birth, too. As I want to celebrate this Christmas with
her. With Haruka. With her daughter. This Christmas and all the following ones.
"Her parents?" As he saw the dark look in the young woman's face he knew that
nothing changed during the past ten years. During the last time she went down to
earth and he had seen her crying after she returned. Even before her time would
have been over on earth.
"They won't come. She didn't talk much to them during the past years. They
didn't accept her career as a car racer. They don't accept her studying now. As
they don't accept her daughter. They always say that an adopted child isn't a
child at all." Michiru shook her head and crossed her arms before her chest. It
was a defensive, a protective gesture. "I don't understand such parents. I would
be so happy to be with her, but have no chance. They have the chance but don't
"That's how people are sometimes." The old man shrugged his shoulders and petted
comforting her right arm. "But not all people are this way." He leaned forward
and touched the screen. The picture of a laughing girl, holding a chocolate bar
tight in her tiny hands disappeared. Instead they saw now a young man. He
supported a young woman who was obviously well advanced in pregnancy. The blonde
hairs almost touched the ground and the maternity dress she was wearing could
hardly cover her huge belly. He talked calming to her and wiped away her tears.
She seemed to be in pain. In labour pain. But Michiru knew that she would
survive it. As she would forget this pain when she would hold her daughter tight
for the first time in her life.
"They really love each other. Not all people are mean, little one. Don't forget
Michiru looked again into two exhausted but the same time happy faces and nodded
Maybe I'll be happy, too. By the end of that day. Or I'll have to face my future
here in this place. Being separated by her. The one I love...
"So her parents won't come and her friends won't celebrate Christmas with her,
too. Do you want to go because she'll be alone again? Just like she's been ten
"No..." Michiru closed her jacket and shook determinedly her head. "She won't be
alone. Her daughter's with her."
"Why do you want to go then? It's your last chance, don't forget that."
"Do you want to be a good friend?"
"No." Michiru shook again her head and turned around. Slowly she walked towards
the door. "I want to be part of her family. If she wants me."
Believing in an angel
- an Haruka & Michiru Christmas carol-
(by April Eagle)
Part three: Trust
My heart was just half full
I'd never known the fruit which fed the soul
But now I see what may put to rest my longing"
"No, I told you that you'll get enough during the holidays." Haruka tried to
reach for the chocolate her daughter was holding in her hands. But the little
girl didn't look as if she would let it go again. Tightly she held it in her
tiny hands and looked angry at her mother.
"Mime!" she screamed and kicked with her little legs around. She was now two
years old but already as stubborn as her mother could be. Sometimes even more
stubborn. Like this time. "Mime!" she screamed and now tears sparkled in her
purple eyes. Her shoulder long hairs flew through the air as she shook her head
and tried to hide the chocolate bar behind her back. "Mime!"
"But Himme-chan..." tried Haruka to convince her but knew that she would fail as
the first tears ran over redden cheeks. The little girl crept in one corner of
the trolley, tumbling the milk bottles and the salad over. Haruka was quick
enough to save it from the total destruction.
"MIME!!!" cried the girl and some other customers turned around to look what was
going on. Haruka sighed deeply and let her shoulders hang.
"You are the worst blackmailer I've ever seen." Growled the tall blonde and gave
up. She took the trolley's handlebars again and pushed it through the mall. With
a happy grinning girl sitting in it. Chewing slowly her chocolate bar.
"But don't tell Sets that you ate something before dinner when she calls us up
this evening, okay?" Haruka looked critically at the wine bottle, but put it
into the trolley, too. She hated Christmas and she wouldn't celebrate it. But
Mamoru called her up two hours ago and told her that they went into the central
hospital. Usagi's labour pains started and a little princess would be born this
night. That was a reason to celebrate and how could you celebrate best? With a
small glass of red wine. Even if she would have to drink it all alone.
"No. Never." Giggled Hotaru and smiled at her mommy with a brown mouth. "Gimme
another one." Now she grinned and tried to reach again for the shelves around
them. But Haruka was quick enough to avoid it.
"No, Hotaru! One is enough." Explained Haruka and sighed as she saw again tears
sparkling in dark eyes.
Sets is right. I spoil her too much.
She sighed again as another chocolate bar found its new owner.
But I can't resist. I can't see her cry...
Hotaru wasn't Haruka's real daughter. She was her adopted one. Something she
would tell her one day. Later. When the little girl would be old enough to
understand it. To understand what happened in the past and why her parents were
both death. And why a total stranger went at the court and fought so long until
she could take her home and call her daughter.
Haruka's parents had been shocked as they got to know it. The tall blonde still
raced the car at the formula one and studied at a famous university in Tokyo.
They thought that there was no place in their daughter's life for a child. But
Haruka proved them that they were wrong - as always. Okay, there had been hard
times. For example when Hotaru got her first teeth and cried the whole nights
and Haruka had to write important exams the next day. Or when Hotaru caught a
cold and had high fever. Haruka spent many nights sitting at the small bed,
trying to be there for her daughter. To heal her.
Haruka smiled as the little girl chewed the other chocolate bar and shook her
head as a wet, chocolate covered hand wanted to give her something, too.
There had been hard times and she knew that there would be many hard times in
the future. But she would manage it. She would be a good mother for her
Himme-chan and the little girl would always be happy. Different from her own
childhood she would never be rejected or not loved by her parents. Haruka's
friends were a big help, too. Often the girls baby sited and Usagi's mother had
a lot of tips.
I am happy to have such friends.
She had so much in her life: A career as a car racer, so many nice friends and a
loving daughter. But still she couldn't get rid of the feeling that something
important was missing. Someone important...
"Santa!" Hotaru clapped in her little hands and showed over to the centre of the
Haruka awoke from her thoughts and raised her head. Her look darkened as she saw
the guy with the red coat and the white beard. A false beard of course. The past
years Hotaru had been to small to recognize what Christmas meant, so she didn't
miss the big parties. But this year she understood its meaning. Or at least the
meaning what the television told her. About the gifts and the trees and the
decoration. Haruka didn't mind the gift, she bought a sweet, little toy kitten
for the girl. But she didn't want to have a Christmas tree nor did she want to
be remembered at Christmas at all.
Otherwise little Hotaru.
"Santa!" she screamed and laughed happily.
She doesn't have a grandfather. Only Usagi's father, but she sees him too
seldom. He works so much.
Haruka stopped and watched how the false Santa Clause came over to their
trolley. Hotaru's purple eyes sparkled and she came to her feet in the trolley.
She didn't look as if she was afraid of him. Well, she was Haruka's daughter,
she couldn't be afraid of anything. Because Haruka protected her against all
"My, you are a nice little girl." Said the guy and tried to speak with a low
voice. He smiled at Haruka but the tall blonde didn't react. So he turned
towards the girl who looked at him with adoration.
"Hai." Her voice wasn't shaky at all. A little bit curious and demanding.
"Have you been nice over the past year?"
Hotaru's answer was so fast and so self-confident that Haruka didn't want to
remember her of all the times she didn't want to go to bed or when she didn't
want to eat her dinner.
"Do you think you'll get something from Santa Clause?"
The guy hesitated, but then he opened his sack.
"Then you have to say a poem or sing."
"P..." Hotaru stumbled over the word and looked at him with her big, purple eyes
while she rocked inside the trolley. Haruka was again busy to save their food.
The false Santa Clause coughed and looked helping at Haruka, but still she
didn't react. He wanted to poison her daughter with this wrong festival? Okay,
then he had to face the consequences alone.
"Maybe you want to sing a song, little one?"
"Sing... song?" Hotaru frowned and seemed to think hard. It was an expression
that looked like Haruka when she thought hard about something. That was at least
what Setsuna asserted.
"Hai, or are you too small to sing something for good ole Santa Clause?" panted
the guy and started to sweat. He only wanted to earn a little money and not to
solve such problems like explaining a little girl what a poem or a song were.
"Sing-song!" laughed Hotaru suddenly and clapped happily in her hands. Haruka
only made a tortured face but knew that there was no chance to escape.
"Gan youuu sing wiff all the... " Hotaru started to sing self-confident, but
totally wrong. She thought about the next word, but it was too difficult to
pronounce, so she continued with the next one she remembered.
"... mountain. Gan youu paint wiff all the..." Hotaru was as wrong as she was
loud and the false Santa Clause winced. Haruka couldn't hold back a giggle but
her daughter thought that she was so good and continued to sing even louder.
"Golours of the win..."
Haruka knew that she was the only one in the whole shopping mall who recognised
the song. The real title was "Colours of the wind" and it was from her
daughter's most favourite cartoon. Makoto gave it to her to her second birthday
and since then she watched it almost every day. Finally the song or at least the
text seemed to be over and Hotaru stopped. Proudly she grinned at the false
Santa Clause and stretched her tiny hands.
"An my gift?" she demanded and Haruka had to giggle even more as the guy winced
again and searched hectically in his sack. Finally he produced a candy and
placed it in Hotaru's hand to be able to flee from her. To go to another child
and to hope that he'll have more luck there.
"A candy?" asked Hotaru and frowned. Then she threw the candy at him. "I wanna
have a chocolate!" she said very determined and very loud.
Maybe she wasn't very talented in singing, but she was very good in staring at
people and being stubborn. She was indeed the reincarnation of Sailor Saturn.
The senshi of death. Haruka saw how the false Santa Clause froze and gulped. At
that moment she burst out into laughter.
Haruka hesitated, but then she started to decorate the little tree she bought
when she and her daughter left the mall. It was not very high, but she knew that
Hotaru would like it. She loved everything that sparkled and asked her why they
didn't have such a tree. So she bought one and borrowed some decoration from the
Christmas is humbug!
She sighed deeply and put the first crystal ball at the little tree.
But for Himme-chan I'll try to ignore my feelings towards that wrong festival.
It make she happy. And what makes her happy makes me happy, too.
Haruka decorated the tree with love, but not very skilful. Nevertheless she was
satisfied with her work. Hotaru laid in bed in the sleeping room and did her
afternoon sleep. She wouldn't wake up before five or six in the evening. The
right time to eat dinner and to unwrap the gifts.
Haruka rose and opened the cupboard's door. She almost disappeared into it. But
otherwise her daughter would have discovered them earlier and ruined the tension
and the surprise. Carefully she placed the little packages and the toy kitten
under the tree and froze. Next to the toys stood a little music box. Frowning
she took it and let it play. For some moments she believed to see the sea green
haired girl again. Again she regretted her rough words that evening.
It's now ten years.
Haruka put the music box on the glass table and walked over to the balcony door.
It was snowing. It was the first Christmas for over twenty years that would be
white in Japan. In whole Japan. Haruka leaned against the cold window and looked
outside into the night. Snow flakes were falling down to earth. They looked
weightless. But the same time so strong. So full of life.
Where are you?
She searched her everywhere. She had more possibilities to search her than she
had have at the age of five. But she didn't find her. No one knew her. No one at
the boarding school, no one of her friends, no one from the shops who sold music
boxes. She seemed to have disappeared from one second to the other one. Just
like a ghost.
Or like an angel...
Haruka shook her head and opened the door. The air was cold. Ice cold.
Nevertheless she spread her arms and let the snow falling down on her. She felt
the little flakes melting on her skin and enjoyed it. Wind played with her
hands, let her feeling free. Her, its senshi.
There aren't such miracles as angels. They are only products of the fairy tales
we tell our children. Or the products of the church. Nothing more.
Haruka raised her head and could see a single star sparkling through the thick
layer of clouds. White clouds. Heavy snow clouds.
Angel's don't exist!
Again she remembered Michiru's words and a sad expression appeared on her face.
It was crazy, she had met that girl only twice in her life. But she missed her.
She missed her so much that it made her heart hurt. Every time she saw someone
on the street who wore an ugly red jacket or had sea green hairs, she ran after
her and was always so disappointed when someone different turned around and
looked asking at her. She even ordered a private detective to search for her -
without success. She disappeared and never came back again.
She had been there in my darkest hours.
When my brother died.
When I had been alone and full of hate.
But Haruka didn't thank her for her presence. For her help and her comfort.
Instead she screamed at her and pushed her away. So that she ran away and never
The star seemed to lost its hold at the endless sky and fell down. Haruka
watched it while it moved across the sky and disappeared inside the thick
A shooting star.
Haruka wrapped her arms around her freezing body and stared for another long
time at the dark clouds. There was no trace of the star any longer. As there was
no trace any longer anywhere of a girl who meant so much to her.
I am allowed have a wish. A wish that might become true.
The tall blonde closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
I want her to return.
I want to talk to her.
I want to thank her.
I want to trust her.
And if she wants me, I want her to stay...
No one answered her silent prayer. So she turned around and entered again her
apartment. To prepare her daughter's dinner and to wake up the little devil.
"Mommy?" Hotaru sat on the carpet and looked greedy at the gifts under the
Christmas tree. She complained that it was a little bit tiny but assured that it
was the greatest tree she had ever seen as she saw her mother's disappointed
face. Hotaru knew how she could make her mother's heart melt, but Haruka knew
too well how she could do the same to her daughter.
Her mother left the room some moments ago and told her not to move. That this
would be surprise. Normally Hotaru loved surprises but right now she felt
uncomfortable. It was silent in the apartment. Too silent. Normally the CD
player was on or her mommy played on her black piano. Or the television was on.
Now she was sitting in a silent room and it was even a little bit dark. The
candles of the Christmas tree were burning just like the fire in the chimney.
Her normally determined, self-secured voice was now shaky and unsure.
Now she started to cry. Sad and scared. At that moment she felt soft hands
stroking through her dark hairs.
"Hey, little one, why are you crying?" The voice was endless soft and so
tenderly, she couldn't feel any fear. Slowly she turned around saw a young woman
sitting behind her. She wore a white dress and a red jacket. Sea green hairs
covered curly her shoulders and a loving smile laid on her lips.
"My mommy's not here." Sniffed Hotaru and let the stranger dry her tears. Those
hands were so soft, she felt immediately safe and secure in that tender
"I am sure that she'll be here the next second." Said the young woman and rocked
the still sniffing girl carefully. "She loves you, don't ya know, little one?
She wouldn't go away." The tender smile deepened in the pale face. "Surely she's
only getting your gifts."
"Really?" There was hope in purple eyes and Michiru knew that she loved this
girl. She was a little bit like her mother but on the other hand totally
I want to live here.
I want to raise her, too.
I want so badly to get this second chance and to use it...
"That's great." Now Hotaru laughed again. She pointed over to the Christmas tree
and smiled proudly. "All my gifts." She said and clapped in her little hands.
At that moment someone knocked loudly at the door.
"So take my hand and knowing
With it I also give my heart wanting
Never to be seperate again
Let eternity begin"
Hotaru winced as someone knocked at the door.
Then the door opened slowly. Michiru had to force herself not to burst out into
laughter as she saw Haruka entering the room. Well, not Haruka, but a Santa
Clause who looked a lot like the tall woman. Blonde hairs were hardly covered by
the red cap. The red coat seemed to be too big and the beard seemed to scratch
her face. She didn't look happy and she sweated. But she tried to be a good
Santa Clause. She held a sack in her one and a broom in her other hand.
"Hohoho!" she laughed with a very low voice and had to cough as she almost
gulped some hairs of the false beard. "Is here a nice little girl who deserves a
Hotaru screamed happily and freed herself out of Michiru's embrace. She ran
towards her mommy and embraced her with all the powers a small girl of her age
"Mommy." She said and held her even tighter. "I missed you!" Hotaru stepped a
little bit back and watched her mother sceptically. "Where's the real Santa
Clause?" she asked and looked curiously around.
"He... uh... he..." Haruka sweated and supported herself on the broom. "He had
no time." Her face brightened up at the idea. "So he gave me some of his clothes
and said that I should come to you instead of him. Look, he has so many children
who wants to have their gifts, so I said him that he shouldn't stress himself
and that I'll give you your gift instead. Okay?"
Hotaru still looked sceptical. Then she nodded.
"Okay." She beamed and grabbed Haruka's hand. "Is there a gift for auntie,
"Auntie?" Haruka raised her eyebrows and her jaw dropped as she saw the young
woman sitting on the carpet. Next to the Christmas tree. The sack landed on the
ground. Just like the broom. Hotaru didn't notice her mommy's surprise. She
jumped through the room and right into Michiru's arms.
"Will you be here tonight, auntie? Because my other aunties are in... in..." she
looked helping over to her mother, but Haruka was still frozen. Her dark eyes
grew wide and all she could do was to stare at the young woman she searched for
so long. Who sat now in her living room with a sudden. As if it was the most
normal thing of this whole wide world.
"In hospital?" asked Michiru and smiled as Hotaru nodded exciting.
"Hai. Auntie Usagi is having a baby." Explained the little girl and looked very
important. "Then I won't be the... the..."
"The youngest member of the family?"
"Hai!" Hotaru nodded again and grinned. "Then I'll be a big pro... big pro..."
"Hai!" Hotaru was happy that someone understood her so easy. Only her mother was
able to know what complicate word she wanted to use but couldn't pronounce. "I
love her! She will be my best fr... fr..."
"Hai! My best one!" Hotaru jumped again through the room. "Can't wait to see
her!" The young girl went over to the Christmas tree. Pleading she looked up at
her mother but Haruka still didn't react. She stood there, still staring at
Michiru as if she was the eighth world wonder. So Hotaru decided that her mother
wouldn't have anything against opening at least a small gift. She crept under
the tree and produced a little package. Silently she sat down and started
impatiently to unwrap it.
Why doesn't she say a word?
Isn't she happy to see me?
Michiru gulped and slowly came on her feet. Hesitating she went over to Haruka
who didn't react. Only her dark green eyes followed every of her motion.
Is she still angry with me?
The sea green haired woman stopped before the tall blonde and frowned.
"Ruka?" she asked silently and stretched her hand. She winced as Haruka's hand
shot out and grabbed her. And held it tight.
"Michiru?" Haruka leaned a little bit forward as if she couldn't trust her eyes
any longer. "Is it you? Are you real?"
Michiru only nodded. Her throat was tight with a sudden and she felt incredibly
She still knows my name! After all those years she still knows how I am called!
"A toy kitten!" screamed Hotaru happily as she unwrapped secretly the second
package. Excitedly she ran towards the two woman and jumped into her mother's
arms. "'gatou!" she shouted and embraced Haruka. "'gatou. Luve ya!"
"She's a little devil." Whispered Haruka and closed the door to the sleeping
room. Hotaru was now in her bed and slept deep and tight. Finally. After Michiru
had to tell her three good night stories and after Haruka had to make her a hot
milk with honey. "But mostly she's a lovely child."
"Hai, she is." Answered Michiru and followed the other woman back into the
living room. They spent the whole evening there. With a total excited Hotaru
playing with her toy kitten and a matchbox. Michiru and Haruka had to play with
her, too. Although both of them wanted to talk to each other.
Michiru almost crashed into Haruka as the tall blonde stopped suddenly. The sea
green woman looked shortly at the clock and sighed slightly. It was almost
midnight. Her time was almost over.
Just ten more minutes and all this wouldn't be more than a memory to her. A
sweet-bitter memory that would never become reality. A dream that would never
"Hai?" she didn't dare to look up. The whole evening had been to fantastic to be
real and now she waited for the price she had to pay. Surely it would be too
high for her.
"I..." Haruka sighed and went over to the balcony door. Again she looked outside
into the snowstorm. Just like she had done just some hours ago. Wishing that
crazy dream. And now it became true...
Use that chance!
She mustn't disappear again!
Haruka gulped and clenched her icy fists.
I am not able any longer to wait another ten or twenty years for her.
"I don't believe in angels." She said finally and bit on her lower lip. What she
wanted to say sounded so strange, so unreal, but she knew, she would regret it
for the rest of her life, if she didn't say those words. Words she had said so
often in her thoughts. During the past ten years. Words she swore she would say
to Michiru once she would see her again.
See? It was only a dream, nothing more!
Michiru gulped and bowed to pick up her red jacket. It was warm and the room and
she stripped it some hours ago. Now she had to go. Without the chance of ever
She doesn't believe in angels...
"I see..:" she said and turned around. To open the door. To leave Haruka and
sweet Hotaru forever. To go back to heaven and to become an angel. Without ever
knowing how it was to be a human.
The next moment she felt how soft arms were wrapped around her waist. How
someone held her tight. The jacket fell unseen on the carpet and Michiru's eyes
"Don't go this time." Whispered the tall blonde and her voice was husky. Her
heart beat violently inside her chest and she felt dizzy. "I am sorry for all
the mean words I said to you the last time. You were so damn right. I was
mourning. The whole time I was mourning. Not only about my brother, but also
about my childhood. It stopped the very day he left me." Haruka buried her face
in a soft shoulder and knew that she would miss this feeling like crazy once she
would be forced to let Michiru go again. "You were there to comfort me and all I
did was to push you away. I am sorry for that."
Michiru gulped, not able to react, not able to respond anything.
"I have no idea where you've been the last years. I searched you everywhere in
Japan, but I couldn't find you..." Haruka shook her head and held her even
tighter. It hurt a little bit but Michiru would have rather eaten her tongue
than saying a word.
She searched me?
"As I told you, I don't believe in angels, but I believe in you, Michi." Haruka
gulped and the smaller woman felt something wet her neck.
She believes in me?
Michiru frowned, still not able to say anything. At least one word.
"I know it sounds total crazy, but I missed you so much over the past years. I
had a lot of time to think about it and..." Haruka took a deep breath.
Say it. Now or never. It's your chance now. It's alike how she will react. If
she has to go then you can at least say that you won't regret this evening.
"... don't go, Michi. Please stay. I... I know that you hardly know me and that
you hardly know Himme-chan, but you like her. I could see that. And I... I like
you." Haruka blushed deeply and hated herself a little bit for it. She never
stuttered before. She had never felt this unsure before. She, the one who beat
all those guys with her red formula one car. She, the senshi of the wind who
defeated all those dangerous youmas and saved the world. She, the one who went
her own way. Without hesitation.
Tell her the truth.
She didn't push you away until now.
"It sounds insane, but trust me that it's the truth when I tell you that..."
Haruka gulped again. Still Michiru didn't react. She only stood there, a little
bit stiff and motionless. "... that I love you..."
Now it was out. Haruka closed her eyes and let Michiru go. For a moment there
was no reaction. Not even the quietest noise.
I frightened her.
Hell, I frightened myself!
Then she heard the silent sobs. She opened her eyes and saw with her own blurred
view that tears were streaming over the beauty's cheeks. But they weren't tears
of sorrow, they were tears of joy. Because the most wonderful smile Haruka had
ever seen bloomed on the face that was redden now. Not longer so pale.
She loves me?
Am I allowed to stay?
With her? With her daughter? For the rest of my new life?
Michiru sobbed even harder and her voice sounded strange in her ears as she
asked the pale blonde in front of her.
"Are you sure?"
Haruka bit on her lower lip and nodded finally. She couldn't know how important
her honest answer was for Michiru, but she knew how important it had been for
"I want you to stay. I searched you for the past years. No, I searched you all
of my life." Confessed the tall blonde. "If you want my daughter and me, please
The next moment her arms were full with a trembling woman who cried and laughed
at once. Her tears looked like diamonds and the smile on her face was so tender,
Haruka could have watched her for the rest of her life. Maybe it was crazy.
Maybe she couldn't love another woman just because she had seen her twice in her
life. Just because she had searched her for so long. A woman she didn't know
anything about her past. Maybe she was an angel, maybe she ran away from home.
Maybe she lived in another country over the past years and made a joke out of
it. But whatever the truth was, her feelings were real. Haruka could see it in
deep blue eyes. All the love and the happiness.
Without thinking she bowed over the smaller woman and kissed her tenderly. She
closed her eyes and felt how Michiru embraced her and returned her very first
kiss with all her love.
Maybe it was crazy, but Haruka was ready to face whatever the future might hold
I love you, Michi.
I love you, too, Ruka.
They both kissed for the rest of the night. They didn't notice that the bell
rang midnight. Nor did they notice the shadow who left the balcony shortly
after. With a silent laughter that sounded a little bit like a hohoho.
"For I have seen, the face of love
The grace of God, the face of love"
The persons mentioned in the Haruka & Michiru Christmas carol "Believing in an
angel" belong to Takeuchi Naoko.
The song "Face of love" belongs to the Jewel, the song little Hotaru sings in
the mall is "Colours of the wind" of the Disney soundtrack of the movie
To all the readers:
I want to thank you for reading this story and I want to thank all those crazy
people outside who really read all of my stories. I know that I freak out
sometimes. About the content, about the length and especially about the time I
need to write all this stuff ^-^'. My special thank goes to Adriann and Laura
who are always there for me.
Thanks again to all of you out there for your nice comments and your nice
I wish you all a merry Christmas. I hope this story wasn't too romantic and too
much kitsch. It's just how I want to see Christmas: As a festival of love. When
you are able to forgive the ones who hurt you or they forgive you when you did
something wrong. The festival when the family sits together and is happy. I hope
that you out there will have such a great Christmas or that your next
Christmases will be better.
When you jump over your shadow and do the things you wanted to do all the year
but you never had the chance, the time or the courage to do it.
For me it's the time of the year when everything is possible.
And to be honest, who doesn't like a romantic Haruka & Michiru story?
Have a merry Christmas all of you ^-^.
Or as the little Tim of Dickens' Christmas carol would say: God bless Us,
everyone of us.
15th and 16th December 2001
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