Ricochet

Right.

Someone phoned him to tell him about a jumper on one of the skyscrapers. Dad was the only person near enough to catch the story. So of course, our little get together was scrapped to watch some person go splat all over the concrete. We all know the bonding opportunities there.

I was in no particular mood for such a thing. Jumpers always struck up memories I'd rather forget. It made my chest and leg hurt just to think about it. But Dad refused to waste time to drop me off and I was forced to go see the spectacle.

Thank God my father is a stubborn work-a-holic.

We got there in time to see about four or five police cars screech in. There was also a fire truck and two ambulances. The ambulances almost made me laugh in a morbid sort of way. What were they hoping to achieve by waiting to treat the person after they jumped? Dad ran off to collect information, instructing me not to run off and to keep out of everyone's way. That would have been fine with me; all I wanted to do was go off somewhere and wait for it to be over. And so I did just that.

Well, for a few minutes anyway.

Dad was by my side again, which confused me. He looked upset. "Yamato..." he began, "I don't know how to tell you this..."

I suddenly knew. "It's someone I know, isn't it?"

"It....it's Taichi."

My heart stopped. My vision turned gray on the edges. Taichi? Brave, irrepressible, unbelievable Taichi? My beautiful Taichi was up on that ledge, trying to end his life? WHY? Why would he do such a thing? "It's a mistake," I told my father calmly. "You've made a mistake. You heard wrong."

"Actually, I just ran into his father."

"NO!" I screeched, and I covered my ears with my hands. "It's not true! Taichi wouldn't! He wouldn't!" No one is that stupid. No one could possibly be as stupid as me.

My father placed his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said.

There were tears burning behind my eyes. Taichi was going to jump. Taichi was...

...not dead yet.

I took a deep breath to calm myself, and turned toward the building. I looked up to where the tiny person was silhouetted against the sun coming off the windows. "I'm going up there."

"Yamato, there are police, and-"

"I'm going up there!" I shouted at my father. "He's my best friend, Dad!" I burst past him and darted under the police tape, through the people and to the door.

"Hey!" someone shouted. "Stop!"

I paid them no heed, and pushed quickly into the building. The lobby was filled with people milling about. Elevator was no good. The doors closed to slow. I could see the door to the stairs out of the corner of my eye, and I leapt toward that.

Up the stairs. One floor. Don't worry about the men shouting behind you. You have to get to Taichi. Keep running. Keep running. Five floors. Ignore the yells. You can't let Taichi make your mistakes. Keep going. Forget about the burning lungs. Taichi needs you. Don't know how high he is. Don't worry about that, you'll find him. They're still behind you. Don't bother with it, you're young and strong with long legs. Just keep going. Fifteen floors. Taichi doesn't understand what he's doing. You have to stop him. Your legs feel like rubber. It's alright, they're still attached. Don't stop, Don't stop. Door opens ahead of you. Another man! Dodge him! Get past him! You hear him yell to the others. Not to get to the thirty-second floor. Thirty-two. That's where Taichi is! Must keep going. Twenty-five floors. Don't give in to your exhaustion. Taichi is up there, about to jump, maybe jumping! Faster, faster! You have to hurry! Thirty floors. Go on, go on! No one can save him but you! Thirty-one floors. Almost there! Almost there! Thirty-two floors!

I burst through the door of the thirty-second floor, just in time to be grabbed by two large men. No! NO! Didn't they understand I had to get to Taichi? I couldn't go back now! "Let me go!" I gasped. "Please! My friend is out there! Let me go save him!"

"Yamato-senpai!!" someone cried. Hikari, sweet Hikari. She must have heard the ruckus in the hall. She was over in a flash, demanding they let me go. Her father came over too, after a moment. The two men, at a loss, slowly released me. I fell to the ground, gasping for breath and trying to get my heart under control. Hikari grabbed my arm. "He's talking to Mom right now. You have to go talk to him! Only you can get him to listen to reason!"

Once I had recovered enough to stand, I staggered into the room with the open window. I could see Taichi through the glass, his wild hair blown free and fanning around his face.

He was so beautiful.

"You have a visitor," his father informed him. He made no response.

I was suddenly very angry at him. "Yagami you bastard, you get your sorry ass back in here this instant!!" I bellowed at the top of my lungs.

He made a noise sounding a little like a laugh and a lot like a sob. "Why don't you join me? The view is wonderful," he informed me in a strange voice.

I was shaking all over. We were so high up. I hate heights. And yet, I couldn't stop myself as I swung a leg out onto the ledge.

"No, Matt!"

I wouldn't have been able to answer them if I wanted to. Taichi was out on that ledge, looking at me in surprise. I tried to keep my trembling to a minimum as I eased myself toward him. When I reached his side, I just stayed there a moment with closed eyes as I tried to compose myself. "I don't suppose I ever told you I was afraid of heights, did I?" I asked him as calmly as I could.

"No, you didn't," he chuckled.

Oh that's nice. At least I didn't reveal ALL my weaknesses as a child. "Good. For future reference, I'm not."

"Right, Matt,"

I grabbed his arm. There. A nice solid thing to focus on. Don't wig out, Yamato. "You have no idea how bad I want to beat your ass right now," I told him. "You've got a lot of nerve, freaking everyone out like this." For a moment, I almost said me.

He glanced at the sky and sighed. "I'm sorry...I might as well just go ahead and be done with it." He sounded like a lost puppy.

I tightened my grip until he winced in pain. That's right. Don't let him forget you're there. "That was not exactly the response I wanted," I told him truthfully. "Tell me why you are doing this, Tai." I had to know. Taichi was impulsive and not necessarily smart, but he was pretty good at judging good ideas from bad ones.

I hoped.

"Because I'm sick of life. I'm sick of failing, sick of patience," he said sadly. "And I'm sick of missing you."

Something inside me blinked. I knew. I had always known, really. I took his hand. "I miss you too." I understood his feelings. And I returned them full-heartedly. God, I missed him. "But that's not a reason."

He tore away from my grip. It made my heart hurt. "What do you know, anyway?" he hissed. I couldn't believe his question. Neither could he, I think. "Oh," he mumbled.

He wasn't going to understand. I had to tell him the full story. Oh well. He probably would have heard it eventually.

Well, assuming I got him off that stupid ledge.

"I tried a stunt like this once right after Mom and Dad split up," I explained quickly. Best do it fast. "Of course, I didn't have your taste for skyscrapers..." He was looking at me in disbelief. Yes, Taichi, I was suicidal too. "It's why I'm afraid of heights." Well, no use denying it now. "I was just about to turn back when I fell." I shook my head to clear the memories. "I was young then, and hadn't chosen anywhere near high enough to kill myself, but I did suffer a compound fracture in my leg and a broken collarbone." Must not cry, must not cry. I looked at his eyes to steady myself. "I was lucky. From this height, Taichi, you won't be."

"So what?" he said callously. "I don't plan on surviving."

I wanted to slap him. "I've climbed out here, explained to you why it's one of the hardest things I've ever done, and you still don't understand." He wasn't even trying to.

"No, Matt, I don't. If you're not here to say good-bye, you might as well leave."

Damn him. "You bastard." Cruelty would have been kinder. Pushing me off would have been kinder. ANYTHING would have been kinder than those words. "You selfless, heartless bastard." He turned away. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. I grabbed his face and made him look at my eyes, so he could see the pain and anger in them. ""Now you listen to me, asshole," I growled at him. "Things have been hard for me too. I feel really useless now just like you. Takeru doesn't need me anymore; he hasn't for a long time. We aren't needed to save the world anymore either. Things like this have crossed my mind multiple times. But I know what it feels like to fall, Taichi, and if you jump now, those last few moments of your life will be the worst you've ever experienced. You have never felt fear like that you will feel as you plummet towards your death. We were given fear for a reason, Taichi, so that we can save ourselves and those we love. As you fall, you will never be able to use that fear for a better good. I was able to survive my fall, and now I know why. I've been allowed to live so that I could come out here and help you realize the mistake you are making. You may think you're at the end of your rope, but I know that there is a lot more for you, Taichi. A lot more for us. I wouldn't be on this stupid ledge if there wasn't. Now get you stupid ass back in this building so I can kick ya around, because I'm going to have a heart attack if I'm out here for another five seconds." There. I said it. I finally got everything together and said just what I wanted to say. Nevermind the fact that my eyes were streaming and I was still hundreds of feet above the nice, solid ground.

Oh God, I hoped it would work.

He sobbed and leaned into my hand. Hope surged through me. "Take me back inside, Yamato," he whimpered, and I was suddenly flying. "I'm sorry..." he added softly.

I released the breath I had been holding. I reached and took his hand again. Taichi wasn't going to die! He wasn't going to die! I saved him! I saved my Taichi! I crawled through the window and started to help him through when his hand yanked from mine.

No.

NO!!

"TAICHI!!" I screamed. Not like this! Not like this! I had succeeded. I had actually done something right! This couldn't be happening.

And then, very suddenly, it wasn't.

My arm hurt very much. It felt like it was coming out of its socket. Which is understandable, considering it was the only thing between Taichi and certain death. I blinked, very slowly. He glanced at me, terror and disbelief and hope and love and so many things written across his face. "You stupid bastard," I hissed. "Trying to slip one past me?"

And then there were others coming forward to help, and we pulled Taichi through the window into safety. I grabbed ahold of him and promised myself to never, ever let go. I was whispering his name over and over again, like if I stopped he would cease to be real. He was crying, sobbing like a child, and I understood. Oh, god, I understood. But I was going to make sure he was never going to feel like that again.

We were kissing. I would be embarrased later, I always seemed to be. But not just then. All that mattered then was that he was there, and I was there, and we were both alive. By some weird twist of fate, we had both taken a leap of faith and ricocheted into each other.

My head hurt. My legs hurt. My arm hurt. My heart hurt. My soul hurt.

I've never been quite that happy.