DISCLAIMER: If you don't know who owns what by now, you probably live in an institution and are medicated twelve times a day.

Okay, one serious statement: Takahashi created the concept, the mutilation I hereby perform is without permission or expectation of profit (but if you wanna send me money, I won't stop you).

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Ranma 1/2: The Fugitive
An Alternative Universe
By Jack Staik, Bookkeeper-At-Arms
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NOTE: This story begins about 7 weeks after the Saotomes arrived in the mainstream Ranma timeline.
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Saotome Genma skulked through the streets of Nerima, his "disguise" of a hat and trenchcoat attracting attention, especially with the way he kept hiding behind things.

He made his way toward the home of his oldest friend in the world. Tendo Soun. Maybe, just maybe, *THEY* wouldn't find him there. (And if they did, he could hide behind Soun, or maybe run like a pansy while they tore his buddy to ribbons.)

 * * * * * * * * * *

Kasumi answered the door, expecting perhaps another visit from that nice-but-obnoxious Kuno Tatewaki (the violences her little sister Akane afflicted upon the hentai caused considerable property damage, which Kasumi had to clean up). What she found was an unfamiliar man in a ratty trenchcoat and hat, trying to hide his face.

"Welcome to the Tendo-ke, may I help you?" she said politely. 

"I am Saotome Genma, an old friend of Tendo Soun. Is he available?"

"I will ask. He's probably busy." she lied. (It was nicer than saying that he was probably taking his fourth nap of the afternoon.) 

Kasumi went to the back porch., where her father was "meditating" in a hammock. "Otousan," she said politely, "A man named Saotome Genma is at the door-"

Soun hopped out of the hammock and raced to the front door. "GENMA!! OLD FRIEND!! BROTHER!!" The two men embraced each other and hugged, slapping each other on the back and laughing.

"I guess he *does* know Father." Kasumi said quietly.

Akane and Nabiki heard the commotion downstairs and came down to see what the fuss was about. "Hey, Kasumi, who's the bum?" Nabiki asked. 

"His name is Saotome Genma. He's an old friend of Father's." Kasumi commented.

Akane watched her father take out the *good* bottle of sake. "I guess so."

As Soun poured the sake, he asked his old friend. "I assume this has something to do with Ranma?"

Genma took the proffered sake in trembling hands (for the first time, Soun noted how lean and haggard Genma was) and gulped it down. "Oh Tendo ... everything's gone so WRONG!!" he wailed.

Soun found himself in the uncomfortable and unaccustomed position of trying to comfort someone else. 

Kasumi, seeing the distraught man, went to get some tea soup (obvious case of starvation, and something on his stomach after gulping that sake in his condition wouldn't hurt...)

Akane and Nabiki tried to get the weeping man to a couch while wondering who 'Ranma' was and what the fuss was about.

 * * * * * * * * * *

After some time (and a full meal, and some more sake, and some family introductions, and some more sake, and a long bath, and some more sake), Genma was calm once more. The Tendo's sat around the dinner table, with Soun at one end and Genma at the other.

Soun sighed. "I assume you're ready to tell us what happened, Saotome-kun?"

Nabiki spoke up. "It's not everyday someone comes along looking like the Wrath of the Gods is after him."

Genma chuckled. "Yes, child, that is *precisely* what is after me."

Soun looked confused. "I'm afraid I don't understand, old friend."

"I am a hunted man. My son seeks my life, Tendo. My ungrateful son, whom I raised and cared for all these years, whom I trained to follow in my footsteps as a martial artist ... has called the blood-debt upon me. He and his companions seek my life."

The Tendo girls looked shocked. A son, trying to *kill* his own father??

"Genma," Soun asked, "perhaps if you start at the beginning ..."

"Well, it is a ... complicated tale..."

<BOOM!!> "OYAJI!!" "SAOTOME!!" "YOU RAT BASTARD!!"

"They found me," Genma squeaked. Hastily, he ran toward the kitchen and dived under the sink, shutting the doors after him.

The sound of splintering wood from the front door heralded the arrival of their guests. Soun stood up and said, "Stay here, girls. Until we know what is happening, I don't want you exposed to any unnecessary danger."

By the time he finished saying that, the girls were already in the living room.

The one in front (and apparently the leader) was a tall black-haired boy with a red Chinese shirt and black pants. He appeared to have a ponytail.

Behind him and to one side was another black-haired boy, this one wearing a bandana and wearing orange and green. He wore a backpack and carried an umbrella.

Behind both of them was a black-haired girl wearing the tunic and tights combination of a food seller, with a bandolier of what appeared to be spatulas across her chest and a *huge* spatula held as a polearm.

"WHERE IS HE?!?!" the bandana-wearing boy boomed.

"RYOGA!" the pony-tailed boy snapped. The bandana-wearing boy (evidently Ryoga) grumbled and backed down ... slightly.

The pony-tailed boy turned to the girls. "I am Saotome Ranma. Where is Saotome Genma hiding?"

"You creep! You wrecked our house! Look at this mess!" Akane yelled.

The trio looked embarrassed. "Gomen nasai," Ranma replied. "We were ... anxious. We didn't want Genma-baka to escape us again!" A battle aura bloomed from the three. "We know he's here! He can't hide forever!"

"We'll catch him - and he'll PAY!!" the girl growled.

"In BLOOD!!" Ryoga snarled.

"Uh ... not to seem nosy," began Nabiki, "but aren't you Genma's *son*?"

"Don't remind me." Ranma spat, his face displaying his disgust with the concept.

"I figure Ranchan's mom must have slipped one by the Old Fart." the girl commented. "No way that old blob of pus could be *Ranchan's* dad."

"Enough talk!" Ryoga growled. "Genma must PAY!!"

"HEY!!" Akane growled back. "Try to control your temper, okay?!?" 

Nabiki and Kasumi managed not to laugh at *Akane* lecturing someone on anger management.

Kasumi smiled. "I'm sure whatever problems you have can be resolved peacefully."

"HE TURNED ME INTO A MONSTER!!" Ranma proclaimed.

"HE DESTROYED MY LIFE!!" the girl accused.

"SAOTOME!! BECAUSE OF YOU I'VE SEEN HELL!!" Ryoga shouted.

Genma, hearing all this, snuck quietly out the back door.

"Hmmm..." Kasumi commented. "Perhaps it was a misunderstanding?"

Soun, meanwhile, saw Genma creeping across the backyard.

"GENMA!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING??" Soun cried out to his old friend.

The three Genma hunters, hearing the cry, roared and rushed past the girls into the dining room. Out the back door, they saw Genma in the back yard, now rushing for the back gate.

A flurry of bandanas and spatulas filled the air, making Genma dive out of the way. Multiple thunks resounded as both sorts of projectiles imbedded themselves in the gate.

Ranma leapt out the door, covering the several meters between Genma and himself with one bound. As his foot headed for his father's head, the cry sounded "YOU'RE *DEAD* OYAJI!!"

A grab, a twist, and a spin, and Ranma was imbedded in a wall. 

"Ranma's down! Cover me, Ukyo!" Ryoga said, bringing his umbrella to bear.

As Ukyo hurled spatulas, causing Genma to duck, Ryoga ducked low and ran straight at his enemy. the umbrella swinging in a perfect backhand volley that a tennis pro would envy.

Genma wasn't anywhere near the strike, ducking down and slamming his fists repeatedly into Ryoga's stomach. Gasping, Ryoga fell to his knees.

Ranma, staggering to his feet, grabbed Genma from behind and held on for dear life. "DAMN IT! SOMEBODY GET HIM!"

Ukyo ran up, giant spatula at the ready, preparing to slam Genma into unconsciousness, and thence into the next life.

"NOOO!!"  Soun cried, rushing up and punching Ukyo in the back of the head, knocking her to the ground.

Genma, flexing his arms, escaped from his son's grasp. He made a dash toward the house, but Ryoga hurled his umbrella, causing Genma to trip and fall into the koi pond.

Ranma undid his belt and snapped his wrist, making the belt stand straight. Holding it like a sword, He rushed the pond.

With a roar, a Giant Panda stood up in the pond and held out a hand - er, forepaw. Pulling it back quickly, a burst of force sped toward Ranma.

Holding up his belt/sword, Ranma parried the blast, with his weapon breaking in the middle. The beast then leapt toward the now-disarmed Ranma.

"I'll save you, Ranma!" Ryoga cried, running past the bear (now atop the pig-tailed martial artist). With a cry, he leapt into the pond - and at the sight of what leapt out, the Tendo girls all screamed. 

It wasn't a bear, nor was it a pig. It had the head of a great boar, including the tusks, but the body was that of a bear, with hooves on it's hind feet. Standing erect, the creature lunged at the Genma-panda, knocking him off of Ranma.

Ranma looked over at Ukyo - and saw her on the ground, Tendo Soun standing over her. "Ucchan!" he cried. Holding his hands before him, he cried out "RYUU HOKODEN!!"

The Roaring Dragon Bullet raced toward Soun. Soun twitched to the side, allowing the blast to speed past him.

The Tendo girls looked on in shock. Martial arts beyond anything they had heard of - people turning into monsters - their father actually *acting* like a martial artist... could it get any weirder?

Genma-panda and Ryoga-pig-bear-thing were wrestling, each trying to force the other down. The "Grarr" of the panda and the base "bwee" of the pig-thing made the courtyard sound like a jungle.

Ranma leapt across the yard with a leap that an Olympic athlete would envy, headed toward Soun.

Akane, seeing the stranger lunge for her father, grabbed the nearest weapon (the dining room table) and leapt forward. With a mighty swing, she caught Ranma in mid-air and slammed him into the koi pond. 

"Akane! get inside!" Soun commanded. This strong, forceful Soun was alien to the experience of the Tendo daughters, so unlike the father they knew, that Akane hesitated to obey.

With a huge *splash* of water and a loud, high-pitched screech, Ranma leapt from the pond, her red hair unbound and flowing, her great wings beating the air.

Nabiki stared at the flying winged girl who, a moment earlier, had been a normal-looking boy. "That's new." she commented.

Kasumi shook her head at the senseless carnage and went to get her Special Emergency Kit.

Soun leapt five meters straight up, engaging the Onna-Ranma-bird-thing in mid-air.

"Tendo School Special Attack - JUUNO-KEN!!" he cried, his glowing fist slamming into the winged girl with a thunderous crash.

Akane was startled. <Since when could Daddy do stuff like *that*? He's been holding back when we train!>

Onna-Ranma was slapped out of the air by Soun's blow, sending him hurtling downward. With a mid-air flip, she touched down feet-first and leapt back into the air, propelled as much by mighty wings as by trained legs.

Soun had come down by the koi pond, and was preparing to leap back up ...

... when an egg-shaped object hit Onna-Ranma in the face, shrouding her in an opaque cloud.

She coughed, gasped, flailed, then fell to the ground, out cold. 

Three such objects hit the wrestling beasts, causing them to react as Ranma had, then to pass out.

The Tendos turned to the source of the thrown objects ... to Kasumi, who evidently had a small pouch of them.

"Kasumi," Soun asked, "what did you do?"

"Well," Kasumi began, "you know the way those Kunos kept showing up after Akane beat Kodachi in that Gymnastics contest. I figured that eventually they would cause trouble, so I created these special nageteppos - just in case."

"You mean," Akane started, "that you could have drugged those loony Kunos anytime, and you just let me FIGHT THEM?!?!"

"You were quite capable of handling them yourself, Akane-chan." Kasumi answered, one of her "It's A Nice Day" smiles on her face.

Akane looked embarrassed. "Yeah, well..."

"In any case," Kasumi continued, pulling a small vial from a pouch, "let us give Saotome-san the antidote, and tie up the other three. Perhaps he'll be able to tell us what's happened here."

While Nabiki and Akane went for rope, Kasumi waved the small vial under the panda's nose.

The Genma-panda snorted and opened his eyes groggily. He looked around in alarm.

"Genma?" Soun asked with concern. "Can you understand me?"

The panda pulled a sign from nowhere. Written on it was the message. [Of course I understand you!] The sign spun around. On the other side was [I may be a panda, but I still speak Japanese!]

"Old friend - how?"

[I'll explain - but I need some hot water first.]

 * * * * * * * * * *

At the docks, an unregistered ship, just arrived from China, unloaded cargo and passengers. Virtually all the passengers, having smuggled themselves out of Communist territory, were exhausted, weary, and emaciated.

Except one.

A shortish purple-haired girl in a skin-tight pantsuit strode off, calm and confident, with an air of strength.

The crew of the ship, whom were accustomed to molesting the prettier girls on these trips, cringed away from her in terror. The dockworkers, seeing the seamen reacting to the pretty Chinese girl, decided not to press any claims of their own.

She walked up to one of the dockworkers and pulled his head down to hers. "Where Nerima?" she asked calmly.

"Urk!" he said, strangling. He pointed feebly.

"Arigato." she said politely, releasing him, allowing him to collapse.

"Shampoo go find airen now, Captain. No leave until Shampoo come back!"

"But - but," he sputtered, "we have cargo-"

"Shampoo buy round-trip ticket - Stupid Captain not run out! Remember what happen to last ship captain who piss off Amazon!"

Since this particular sailor had found that captain (or at least parts of him), he nodded quickly. Perhaps a few days vacation would be good. 

Shampoo smiled one of her pretty smiles, and started walking in the general direction of Nerima. "Shampoo go to fetch Genma now and make him husband. Bai-bai!"

The captain both envied and pitied this Genma person. He could imagine many pleasurable things involving the purple-haired Amazon girl, but also imagined many forms of pain she could inflict.

 * * * * * * * * * 

To Be Continued

