Title: Babysitter's Blues
Author: Jack Staik
Series: VOY, Project: Voyager Trilogy #1
Part: REV 8/10
Rating: [PG-13]
Codes: xover with Slayers, Q, Tu/J, P/T, Naomi/Q

Summary: The Big Chase Scene! And Lina Inverse blows up part
of the ship!

DISCLAIMER: It was my evil twin, Skippy, acting in
conjunction with my brother Bruce.

====================

Babysitter's Blues Part 8
(Section 1 of the Project: Voyager trilogy)
by Jack Staik

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At last, all the pieces were in place.

Like she had been taught, Naomi had done extensive research
on Evil Plots in the ship's computer. She had studied
Machiavelli and Soap Operas. She had even made herself an
appropriate outfit, including the long black cloak, and had
practiced the Laugh.

Now it was paying off. Soon, Seven would no longer be a
factor in her growing relationship with Q, and she'd have
him all to herself.

That Ensign Thomas Eugene Paris might be injured or killed
was sad but unavoidable.

Cloaked in black, Naomi lurked in the shadows outside Ensign
Paris' Quarters.


Q, sheathed in plasma, raised his hand. A glowing sword of
pure force materialized, the words "Paris-Slayer" clearly
engraved upon its surface.

Seven stepped between the now-afraid Ensign and the tantrum-
throwing super-being. "Q, you can not kill Ensign Paris."

"WHY NOT??" he boomed.

"Because that will annoy the Captain." she replied calmly.

Q stopped, then dispersed the plasma and the blade. "Well,
then, I guess I won't do anything." he said.

Tom exhaled in relief.

Q snapped his fingers, and B'Ellana Torres materialized.
"Your boyfriend's been making kissy-faces with Seven." he
tattled.

"What?!" B'Ellana said in disbelief.

"Look at his face!" he snitched.

B'Ellana and Seven looked at Tom's face. There, on one
cheek, near the lips, was a pink smudge, the exact shade of
Seven's lip gloss.

Tom wiped his face with one hand, and noticed the pink
smear. "how'd that get there?", he croaked.

Who would believe that B'Ellana's dainty hands could shape
themselves into so firm a point, or that those delicate arms
could drive that hand with such force into a man's gut?

As Tom Paris collapsed onto the floor,  B'Ellana turned her
face to Seven of Nine. A savage grin crossed her face. "I've
been wanting to do this for a long time." she snarled as she
launched herself toward the ex-Borg.

Seven's Borg reflexes and enhancements were evenly balanced
by Torres' Klingon savagery and long experience. Soon, the
two females were reduced to rolling on the floor, Seven
unable to immobilize B'Ellana, and B'Ellana unable to get a
clear shot at Seven.

Q watched the spectacle of the two women thrashing around on
the floor with growing interest.

Tom Paris, unable to use the intercom, dashed out the door
to find help.

"He's escaping," Q pointed out.

B'Ellana looked up and disengaged herself from Seven, then
headed for the door. Q helpfully materialized a bat'leth and
handed it to her.


Naomi watched as Tom Paris staggered out of his quarters,
followed soon after by Lieutenant Torres, holding a Klingon
sword. Soon, Seven of Nine came out and raced after them.

Naomi skipped up to Paris' quarters, happy as a lark.

Inside, she found young Q crying into a pillow. She sat down
next to him and put an arm around his shoulder. "I'm sorry,
Q. I didn't want you to get hurt." she lied.

"She doesn't like me," he sobbed.

"Well, she wasn't right for you. You just have to meet the
right girl." she said caringly, an impish grin on her face.

He jumped to his feet, knocking Naomi to the ground. "That's
it! I just have to find the right girl! And I know how,
too!" and he vanished.

Naomi sat on the floor, stunned. Then her little face turned
red, and she opened her mouth -


Two decks away, Janeway turned briefly at the sound of the
obscenity being screamed. She hadn't ever heard that
particular word outside of a course on theoretical Klingon
profanities.

She was about to go and investigate when she turned a corner
and Tuvok was there, on bended knee, a bouquet of dandelions
on his hand.

"My darling! At last we can be alone!"

Janeway looked on in shock. "I thought the Doctor treated
you!"

"No medicine can silence the beating of two hearts meant to
be one! O my dearest Kathryn!" he exclaimed in quite un-
Vulcan passion, "accept these, my offering of Love, to my
dearest Goddess!"

Kathryn stared at the flowers, uncertain of whether to run
screaming for help or retch at the atrocious prose, when the
decision was taken from her.

Chakotay, one-time Maquis terrorist, First Officer of the
Starship Voyager, mystic and spiritual seeker, now a small
sheep, leapt from the overhead ventilation duct and struck
Tuvok in the shoulder. As the sheep oriented itself, a
second figure slid out of the duct, this one in a red
minidress: Ensign Lina Inverse.

"Ensign, secure Commander Tuvok -" the Captain ordered.

Ensign Inverse's boot connected with the side of Tuvok's
face, knocking him into a bulkhead with a meaty thunk. He
slid to the floor, a small trail of green blood on the wall.

"- and escort him to Sick Bay." the Captain finished.

Lina looked at her commanding officer. "You should learn to
speak more succinctly." she commented. Taking Tuvok's phaser
from his belt, she turned down the corridor. "Can't stop now
- gotta get Chakotay."

Janeway watched as Lina charged down the corridor, a phaser
in each hand, a slightly demented grin on her face.


Tom dodged around a corner, narrowly avoiding a swipe from
his lover's weapon.

"YAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" B'Ellana exclaimed as she readied for
another strike.

Seven leapt up and grabbed Torres' arms,  holding the
bat'leth in place while trying to wrest it from her. Seven
noticed several crewmen nearby. "Crewmen, assist me!" she
shouted.

Several men grabbed Torres, and a couple, misinterpreting
the situation, tried to pull Seven off Torres as well.

Big mistake.

In a very brief minute, six crewmen were on the deck
unconscious, two by Seven's hand, four by B'Ellana's.

Tom Paris, in the meantime, made a break for it.

Soon, B'Ellana had the scent; sweat and fear. She snarled as
she set out on the trail, Seven in close pursuit.


Q held his hands extended, tendrils of energy connecting him
to the huge cylinder of the starship's main navigational
deflector. Parts moved and materialized and detached and re-
attached and changed shape, as Q remodeled the device to
suit his ends.

Soon, he thought, it'll be done soon!


Naomi used her special computer program to track the players
of the little drama she had engineered. She located Q easily
enough, near the main navigational deflector. What's he
doing there? she wondered.

She remembered what she had overheard him saying in Seven's
alcove room. She then knew exactly what he was up to.

Rapidly, Naomi got up and ran out of the room, her cloak
billowing behind her.


Two crew men watched as a small sheep rushed between them,
then leapt aside as phaser bursts sizzled the air between
them. Lina Inverse followed, like thunder after a lightning
flash.

"BAAAA!!!" Chakotay cried, scrambling toward an open duct.
Twin phaser blasts tore into the wall above it, collapsing
part of a bulkhead above the duct, sealing it. Chakotay slid
on the floor, orienting himself and zipping down a corridor.
Lina set off in hot pursuit.

"You maniac!" a crewman shouted. "What do you think you're -
ugh!" he grunted as one of Lina's phasers slammed into the
side of his head.

Weapons in hand, a target in sight, Lina felt alive and
vital. Unconsciously, an old soldier's mantra that her older
sister had taught her came to her lips. "Heed me now Thou
Who is Darker than Dust / Heed Thou which is more Red than
Blood ..."


Captain Janeway left the Sick Bay, secure in the knowledge
that Tuvok's injuries were being tended by the Doctor. Then
the ship lurched, throwing her against a bulkhead. Stumbling
to her feet, Janeway reached over to a wall intercom.

"Janeway to Bridge. Report!"

"There's some sort of quantum energy flux radiating from the
main navigational deflector housing." the Bridge reported.
"It seems to be affecting the power relays, the computer
links and several minor systems! We don't know what's
causing it, ma'am!"

"Q," Janeway breathed almost inaudibly. Cutting the comlink,
she headed for the main deflector.


Tom Paris turned a corner, seeking more help, when his legs
unexpectedly hit a sheep running in the opposite direction.
The two officers were thrown to the floor.

B'Ellana ran around the corner at full tilt, tripping over
Tom and Chakotay, her bat'leth flying from her grip.

Seven came next, her foot catching against the tangle of
bodies.

Ensign Inverse ran up from the opposite direction, her high-
heeled boot hitting the fallen bat'leth, causing her leg to
slide out from under her, depositing her on her posterior.
The phasers held in each hand discharged into the ceiling -

(Little-Known Fact: In Constitution-class starships, water
pipes existed to distribute heat and water evenly around the
inhabited areas of the ship.)

- directly into the water pipes situated therein. The pipes
were vaporized, and hundreds of gallons of water gushed out
onto the helpless crew below.


Janeway was running down to the main deflector when she ran
into Naomi Wildman running in the same direction, wearing an
odd black suit with a black cloak.

"Hurry!" she cried. "Q's in the deflector housing!"

"I know that!" Janeway snapped. "How did you find out?"

"He was reading about Voyager's deflector earlier." she
offered by way of non-explanation. "He -"

A wave of water gushed up from a cross-corridor, soaking
Janeway's and Naomi's boots. Ensign Inverse washed up
practically at their feet. A soaking wet sheep was next; as
it tried to find its footing, Inverse's fist snapped up,
catching it in the jaw, knocking it back and unconscious.

A similarly-unconscious Tom Paris was next.

Following on foot was a soaking-wet and calmer B'Ellana
Torres and Seven of Nine.

"What's Tom's condition?" she asked.

Seven examined Paris briefly. "He is stunned, but
undamaged."

Janeway nodded. "Inverse, tend to Chakotay and Paris.
Torres, Seven, you're with me." She strode down the
corridor, two women and a little girl in her wake.

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To be continued
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