
DISCLAIMER: I had nothing to do with it - anyone could have
put the candied frog in her - oh. Sorry. Never mind.

==========================

Babysitter's Blues Part 2
(Section 1 of the Project: Voyager trilogy)
by Jack Staik

--------------------------

When last we left, Our Heroine, with sidekick Naomi Wildman,
was busily engaged in dying a Slow, Horrible Death from the
Vacuum of Space...

Kathryn heard the voiceover fading. I've spent too much time
sneaking into Tom's Captain Proton program, she thought. My
subconscious is beginning to sound like a narrator.

She opened her eyes to the ceiling of the Sick Bay, and the
Doctor's less-than-comforting face smiling down at her. She
bolted upright - or tried to. After the world did its
acrobatics recital and jumped up and down on her skull for a
few weeks, the ceiling of the Sick Bay came back into focus.

"What happened?" she yelled. (Actually it came out as a
barely-coherent mumble, but it sounded like yelling to her)

"You've had a bit of a shock." the Doctor understated.

"You're going to be reprogrammed as Treevis and Flotter's
live-in boyfriend unless you tell me how I got here," she
snarled.

"Ah, back to your charming self, I see." Ensign Paris
sarcastically interjected.

"Ensign Kim was supervising the repairs on the Bridge," the
Doctor explained, "when you, Naomi, and a young boy appeared
on the Bridge. Without environment suits, I might add. If
Ensign Kim hadn't managed to haul you into the Emergency
Airlock, it's likely that all three of you would have died."

The memories clicked back into place. Then something hit
her.

Carefully getting to her feet, she noticed Naomi at the next
bed, sitting up and talking with her mother. And in the next
bed, still unconscious, young Q.

"But that's not possible." she muttered.

"I beg you pardon?" the Doctor asked.

"The boy - he's a Q. Why would he be unconscious? The vacuum
shouldn't have affected him at all."

The Doctor looked puzzled. "I don't know."

--------------------

An hour later, the available senior staff sat around a table
in the Mess Hall, while young Q and Naomi Wildman apparently
enjoyed bowls of Neelix's Leola-Root Ice Cream.

For several minutes, the staff had been in heated whispers
over the presence of the young super-being on their ship.
Even at the best of times, a Q represented an awesome
threat. In their current condition, it could be fatal.

"But why was he affected by the vacuum?" Captain Janeway
asked. "And how can we use it?"

Neelix had just come up with a fresh pot of Leola-Root
Coffee Substitute (version 3.22). "I'll find out." he said,
and went over to the children's table.

Tom Paris summed up their thoughts, "Oh god, we're all going
to die."


"Well, Naomi ...Q," Neelix said politely, "enjoying your ice
cream?"

"Yes, Neelix, thank you." Naomi said politely.

Q looked up from his fourth bowl. "It bites." he said
rudely.

"I was wondering, why did you pass out on the Bridge?"

Q looked defensive. "I - I wanted to." he said.

"No he didn't." Naomi blurted out. "He's stuck as a human.
His dad's punishing him."

"Tattle-tale!" Q yelled.

"If you don't want me to tell a secret," she replied,
"simply don't tell me, and I promise you I won't say a word
to anyone."

Janeway felt this would be an opportune time to butt in.
"What are you two getting so heated about?"

"Q's a human! Q's a human!" Naomi sang.

"Am not!" he shourted at her. Several gallons of half-melted
Leola-Root Ice Cream poured from the ceiling onto Naomi's
head.

Naomi looked shocked.

"Um, Neelix, why don't you get Naomi cleaned up, and I'll
talk to our guest." As Neelix led her away, Janeway turned
her attention to the young Q. "Now, what did she mean, you
dad's punishing you?"

Q looked embarassed. "Dad stuck me like this. I've got a
human body, and all its limits. I can't change out of it,
and I've got to live with it until Dad changes me back."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing! He's just mean, that's all!" Q whined. "I didn't
do anything - nothing major." He looked faintly embarassed.
"It's not like the Ysandri ever *used* that gender -"

Tom Paris couldn't help overhearing because he had been
eavesdropping. "Let me understand this -*Q* punished *you*
for acting irresponsibly?"

Q crossed his arms and pouted. "He's such a stick-in-the-
mud. Always so darned polite and proper. Won't let me have
any fun."

Janeway looked at Paris.

Paris looked back.

"Are you sure we're talking about the same Q?" he asked.

"Parenthood seems to have mellowed him." Janeway commented.

Seven of Nine entered the Mess Hall. "Captain, I've brought
you the updates on the warp drive repairs." She loked
quizzically at the young stranger.

"Oh, Seven, this is Q. He'll be a guest of ours for a
while."

"I see." Seven accessed all information she had about
entities designated Q. Carefully, she remained calm.

Q stared up at the tall blonde, a goofy expression on his
face, his eyes glazed.

"Will you be requiring me here, Captain?" Seven asked.

"Not right away, I'll call you if anything comes up."

Seven nodded, and left the room. Young Q's gaze followed her
as she left.

Janeway returned her attention to her young guest, but was
too late. A flash of light and he vanished. "Now where did
he go?"

Tom took the opportunity to chuckle.

She turned to her helmsman. "What's so funny?"

"He's stuck in a twelve year-old human body - with all its
reactions - and he just met Seven of Nine. Where do you
think he went?"

Janeway's eyes widened. "Ohmygod," she gasped, and dashed
from the room.


It was easy enough to locate Seven and Q - just follow the
rose petals covering the deck. Janeway located them outside
of Enigneering.

"Roses are irrelevant." Seven was saying, "I must return to
my duties."

Q looked up over the two-hundred-flower bouquet he had
materialized. "You don't like roses? No roses!"  The flowers
vanished.

"What are you trying to accomplish?" Seven asked in her
direct way.

"Uh, well, I - um, would you -" the young cosmic being
seemed nervous. "Would you be my girlfriend?"

"No," she replied.

That's right, Seven, Janeway thought; antagonize the deity.

"How about chocolate?" A flash of light, and a three-meter-
wide heart-shaped box of chocolates materialized.

Seven hesitated for an instant, but was unmoved. "Chocolate
is ... irrelevant." she stated.

Janeway, as one of the three persons on board Voyager to
know of Seven's Secret Sweet-tooth, sympathized with the
poor girl.

"Jewels?" he asked. Another flash, and Seven's clothes were
replaced by a sliver-and-platinum web with clusters of white
diamonds here and there. Much of her skin was exposed, and
her cybernetic implants were accented by white gold
moldings. Janeway had to admit that the - "outfit" for want
of a better word - was extremely fetching.

"Jewels are irrelevant." she said, and went into
Engineering.

Q followed her with his eyes, unable to not stare at her.
From the open door, crys of "Oh my god!" and crashing noises
were heard.

He sighed. "What a woman!" he muttered, and vanished.


--------------------------------

To be continued

--------------------
