--------------------
Ranma 1/2: Another Approach
Part 8
By Jack Staik, Bookkeeper-At-Arms
--------------------

The boys clustered together, looking at the gorgeous redhead
who had escorted Akane Tendo onto the field. They compared
their various photos, and made unsubstantiated conjectures.

"Are those *real*?"

"You think she's related to Akane?"

"Nah, see the Chinese shirt? Just like Ranma's. I'll bet
she's his kid sister."

"Are those *real*?"

"I wonder if she has a boyfriend."

"You think *you* got a chance with her?"

"Are those *real*?"

Kuno stumbled up behind them. "Vile miscreants!" he cried.
"Such base conjectures from such meager plebeians like you
are insults upon the fair sex! *Especially* when referring
to the Pig-Tailed Goddess!!"

"Uh-oh," the boys said. Experience had taught Furinken
students the warning signs of a Kuno eruption. Showing
atypical common sense, the boys scattered to the winds.

 * * * * * * * * * *

With the cry of 'Fight!', Ryoga and Akane charged toward
each other, screaming wordless battle cries.

Akane prepared to launch a blow to Ryoga's chin - but the
umbrella came stabbing toward her. Desperately, she twitched
out of the way, the weapon missing her by a hair.

She stumbled back, desperately trying to keep her footing.
Ryoga sent a kick toward her gut, causing Akane to arc her
body away from the blow.

Ranma-onna had sat down next to Nabiki, shaking her head
sadly. "Shouldn't have jumped in like that - always let your
opponent make the first move," she muttered.

The audience watched as the pattern repeated itself again
and again - Ryoga attacking, Akane dodging then trying to
keep her balance, then Ryoga attacking again.

"What's with her?" Nabiki asked, "Why isn't she attacking?"

"She can't," Ranma-onna answered. "She's relying on the Ja
Jinku - and she hasn't mastered it yet. It takes so much to
just use the technique at this stage, she can't do anything
else."

"She's going to lose?" Nabiki said, worried.

"Hard to say," Ranma said,"If she gets some breathing room,
manages to make a decent recovery ..."

<The betting was pretty heavy on Ryoga - I gave him good
odds, since I figured Akane would beat him. If he wins, I'm
staring at a good eighty thousand yen loss!> Nabiki didn't
like the thought of *that*!

"Back up! Get some space!" Ranma called out.

Akane leaned back, avoiding another swing from Ryoga - then
lost her balance.

As she fell back, she let her gymnastics training take over,
turning the fall into a backwards somersault. Gracefully,
she flipped away, putting several meters between herself and
her opponent.

"Okay, no more Miss Nice Guy!" she cried out, jumping
straight at him, her foot headed for his face.

Ryoga crossed his forearms, absorbing the force of the blow.
Akane kicked off him and flipped midair, landing on her feet
a short distance away. "Ha!" he laughed. "Is that pathetic
attack the best you can do, Tendo? I've been hit by small
children harder than that!"

"Some of us don't fight small children, Pig-Boy!" Akane
taunted.

"TAKE THAT BACK!!" Ryoga roared, flinging his umbrella.

Akane watched the red spinning umbrella come straight toward
her ... then hopped over it.

"ALRIGHT!" Ranma-onna cried. "She's disarmed him!!"

Akane charged the Lost Boy again, not noticing that he had
pulled several bandanas off his head.

<FLING!!><FLING!!><FLING!!><FLING!!>

Akane saw only something headed toward her. She tried to
twist past them, but lost her balance and fell down. Luck
guided her past three of them, but not the fourth.

Akane cried out  as the razor-sharp projectile brushed
against her leg. She grabbed at the sore place by reflex,
her face a grimace of pain.

"AKANE!!" Nabiki yelled, jumping to her feet.

Ranma-onna's hand, not as strong as her male form but still
impressive, gripped Nabiki's wrist and pulled her back down.

"No," he said with iron in her voice.

"But she's been hurt!" Nabiki protested.

"She's a martial artist. She knew the risks," Ranma-onna
countered calmly, never taking her eyes from the fight.

Akane stumbled to her feet and pulled her hand from her
wound. The red fluid staining her hand didn't register
immediately.

<Blood,> she thought numbly. <This is serious. He could have
killed me.>

"First blood to me, Tendo!" Ryoga boasted. "I'll give you
one last chance to surrender. You can still walk away. Don't
make me hurt you!"

Akane looked at her opponent. "You hurt me," she mumbled.

"I'm sorry," he said, a sad look on his face. "I don't want
to hurt a girl."

"You. Hurt. Me."

Ryoga looked with surprise at the battle aura Akane suddenly
manifested.

"YAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

Akane's tiny fist hurt a lot more than he thought it would.
As did the second and third. And fourth and fifth etc. ...

"HOW DARE YOU HURT A GIRL!! YOU BASTARD!! YOU THUG!!"
Akane's name-calling dropped to nastier and more personal
levels, with escalating vulgarity.

"Alright, Akane!" Nabiki cheered as Ryoga fell back under
the furious assault.

"Feh," Ranma-onna commented.

"Huh?" Nabiki said, looking at Ranma-onna. "But she's
winning!"

"She's lost her temper," Ranma explained. "Her defense is
opening up, and she's burning herself out. When her
tantrum's run it's course, she'll be exhausted, and Ryoga
will just one-punch her. Assuming he doesn't just take
advantage of her weakened defenses to take her out now."

Ryoga, falling back under Akane's pounding, suddenly dropped
to the ground while his foot kicked upwards, catching Akane
in the chin, hurling her away and knocking her onto her
back. Akane quickly got to her feet, favoring her wounded
leg.

"Told ya," Ranma-onna said.

"Um, miss?" a teenage boy asked.

Ranma-onna paid him no attention until Nabiki elbowed her in
the ribs.

"He means you!" she whispered.

"Huh? Oh! What is it?" Ranma-onna asked.

"Can I have your autograph?" he asked, handing her a
photograph.

"What are you talking about?" Ranma-onna took the photo -
and saw a picture of herself, shirt off, breasts fully
visible, wringing out a wet shirt.

"All the guys think you're the sexiest girl they ever saw,"
the boy gushed. "I mean, you're really cute and you got a
great body and -"

<POW!!>

The rest of the boy's statement was cut off as he sailed
into the sky.

"Uh, Ranma?" Nabiki asked.

"Did you hear what that baka called me?!?" the irritated
martial artist snapped. "And these pictures! What sort of
deviant sneaks around taking pictures like this?!? As soon
as I catch whoever took this thing, they're going to be
eating through an IV tube!"

Nabiki bigsweated. "Um, aren't you over-reacting?"

A bunch of boys came up to the red-haired girl. "Hey, red-
haired girl! What's your name?" one of the fools asked.

"Grrr..." Ranma snarled. In a very annoyed voice, she said
"Saotome Ran-"

"KO!!" Nabiki yelled out. "Saotome RanKO! Ranma's sister!"
she looked directly into Ranma's eyes. "*Right*??"

"What are you doing??" Ranma hissed.

"Would you rather I tell them the truth?" Nabiki replied in
a whisper.

Reluctantly, Ranma-onna nodded. "Hai. Saotome Ranko desu."
She turned to the boys. "And now - GET LOST!!"

The boys started babbling questions:

"Are you going to school here?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"What is your cup size?"

"Do you wear cotton print or lacy panties?"

<WHAM!!> <POW!!> <WHAP!!> <SQUISH!!>

Nabiki winced at the abrupt carnage (especially what
happened to that guy who asked the last question - ick.)

 * * * * * * * * * *

Meanwhile, Akane and Ryoga circled warily, each one looking
for an opening.

<Heh!> Akane thought, <He thinks I'll just rush in, but I'll
fool him! I'll let him attack, and - wham!>

Ryoga looked at Akane's stance, her moves. <I could take her
now - if I didn't mind killing her. What else can I do?>

Ryoga thought for a second, drawing on his vast knowledge of
the fair sex (which is why it only took a second). <Aha! I
know! Girls like being called cute,> he thought, <She'll get
all giggly and I'll wallop her.>

"I don't know why a cute girl like you would hang around
with Ranma anyway," he said conversationally.

Akane stared at him for a second - then glared. "Did you
just call me cute?!?"

"Well, yeah," he said.

Thoughts of Ranma calling her 'too cute for martial arts',
'a cute girl who had no business in martial arts', how a
cute girl should find better things to do with her time than
'pretend to be a martial artist'.

<He took the time to call me cute in a fight!>she thought.
<He's thinking of me as a girl and not an opponent! He's not
taking me seriously!!>

"I AM *NOT* CUTE!!"

<WHAM!!>

As Ryoga sailed into the air (courtesy of Akane's foot), he
wondered exactly what had just happened.

"YAY!" Nabiki cheered. "I won - I mean, Akane won!" She
didn't stick around long before she rushed off to collect
her profits.

Behind her, a group of boys approached Ranma-onna, photos in
their hands, and questions on their alleged minds.

 * * * * * * * * * *

Gosunkugi looked at the ballistic departure of his partner.
"Idiot," he grumbled. <Well, when he finds his way back, he
can watch as I win Akane for myself - *and* defeat Saotome!>

"Damn martial artists," Gosunkugi grumbled. "Thinking
they're oh-so-tough, that hitting things solves problems.
It's my *brain* that will let me defeat Saotome and win
Akane. Not muscles!"

<GOSUNKUGI stands atop a human-outline-shaped grease spot
labeled 'Saotome'. AKANE gazes on him in adoration.>
<AKANE: Hikaru-chan! You defeated my mean, nasty, uncouth
sensei without raising a hand! You are truly mighty!>
<GOSUNKUGI [surrounded by a majestic aura]: I was inspired
by my love for you, Akane-chan!>
<AKANE [suddenly wearing a sheer, lacy nightie]: Oh, Hikaru!
You have freed me from that horrible pig-tailed person! Let
me reward you!>
<GOSUNKUGI [eyes bugged out]: If you insist ...>

As Gosunkugi's imagination journeyed into lemon territory,
he stepped over Ryoga's umbrella, forgotten on the
battlefield.

He picked up the umbrella - or tried to. He heaved again and
again, then hauled up with all his strength.

<What the hells is this thing *made* of? It weighs more than
I do!> The thought of how strong that made Hibiki passed
briefly through his mind as the umbrella moved slightly -
then fell down.

"YOWTCH!" Gosunkugi pulled at his hand - and nothing
happened. He pulled again and again, getting more and more
panicky.

<Wait - calm,> he told himself. <I have a brain, I'll just
used it. How to get out of this ... Aha! I know!>

"Hey!" he called out, "Can anybody help me here?"

But most of the people had already gone.

<Okay. On to Plan B.>

At which point, Gosunkugi burst into tears and called for
his mommy.

 * * * * * * * * * *

Ranma-onna carried Akane into Tofu's clinic, followed by
Nabiki.

"I'm fine, Ranma!" Akane protested. "It's only a flesh
wound!"

"You're bleeding! Plus you have other injuries. It's a good
idea to have the doc check you out."

"It's not necessary," she mumbled as Ranma put her on the
exam table.

Tofu came in, looking alarmed. "Oh my, this looks awful."

"Um, doc?" Ranma said. "I was wondering-"

"You'll find some hot water in a coffeepot at the
receptionist's desk." As Ranma left, he looked at Akane's
injury more intently.

"I told Ranma, it's nothing!" Akane protested.

Tofu shook his head. "No, this will require stitches. Please
remove your pants."

"I - huh?"

Tofu got out his surgical kit. "Your pants are in the way,
Akane-chan. They'll have to be removed. Since you're
conscious, I won't have to rip them off of you."

" ... " Akane commented. <Just like my dream ... >

"Well, Imouto-chan?" Nabiki smirked as a blush covered
Akane's face. "Hey, doc - Akane doesn't seem to be doing too
well. I guess you'll have to rip them off after all."

"NO!!" Akane shouted, panic-stricken. "I mean - I feel ..."

Blushing furiously, Akane slipped out of her thoroughly
bloodied and ruined pants.

Nabiki chuckled quietly. Akane growled deep in her throat.

"I'll go see what's keeping Ranma," Nabiki said, walking
out.

"Nabiki!" Akane said, alarm in her voice.

"Don't worry, Imouto-chan, I'm sure Tofu-sensei will behave
himself."

"Don't worry, Akane-chan," Tofu said reassuringly, "I
promise to be a complete gentleman."

Akane wasn't sure how she felt about that.

 * * * * * * * * * *

Nabiki went to the waiting room as Akane got her leg
stitched. Ranma came out of the rest room, male again.
"Feeling better, Ranma-kun?"

"Feeling normal," he said. "Nabiki, could you find out who
took those pictures? It seems like all those guys had at
least one. They were swapping them like Pokemon cards."

Nabiki carefully did *not* fidget. "Hmmmm... I'll try, but
guys who take pictures like that are generally as sneaky as
ninja."

"Just point him out - and POW!!" He stabbed at the air,
shattering a picture on the wall by air pressure alone.
"I'll take care of the rest!"

"What's the matter, Ranma-kun?" Nabiki said, all concern and
caring. "I thought you didn't like your female form."

"Do you have any idea how *degrading* that was??" he
protested. "It was like I wasn't human! I was just a -
thing! Like a toy or something!"

"At least they didn't ask you anything *too* embarrassing,"
Nabiki pointed out.

"You were collecting your winnings, you never heard the
*other* questions! Those perverts! I didn't even
*understand* half of them, and the ones I did understand
were disgusting!"

"Um, shouldn't we be seeing to Akane?" Nabiki said, trying
to change the subject.

Ranma nodded.

Nabiki's brain went into overdrive. <Scapegoat, scapegoat,
where do I get a scapegoat ...>

 * * * * * * * * * *

"Now, Akane-chan," Tofu said, "You've got to take it easy
for a few days, so you don't tear your stitches."

"Hai, Tofu-sensei," Akane agreed, her awareness centered on
the fact that Doctor Tofu's hands were quite warm against
her skin. (The fact that they were stitching up a ten-
centimeter wound was ignored for the moment.)

Ranma and Nabiki walked in, all smiles. "Feeling better?"
Nabiki asked.

"Oh, I'm - uh - okay," she said uncertainly. (She had good
reason to be uncertain. On one hand, she was half-naked, and
Doctor Tofu - on whom she had a enormous crush - had his
hands on her thigh. On the other hand, she was half-naked,
and Doctor Tofu - on whom she had a enormous crush - had his
hands on her thigh. .

Ranma nodded. "Just wait until the anaesthetic wears off.
You'll itch so much, you'll want to tear off your leg and
throw it in the canal."

Akane chuckled. "I'm in such a good mood, who cares? I won!"

"You shouldn't be, considering what a pathetic show you gave
out there today."

"NANI??" Akane exclaimed in disbelief. "What are you talking
about? I *WON*!!"

"You got lucky!" Ranma sneered. "You kept trying to show off
the Ja Jinku - a move you haven't mastered, which almost got
you flattened."

"I've almost got it," Akane mumbled.

"You *knew* he was stronger than you, but the first thing
you did was rush him!"

"I got excited," Akane rationalized.

"And let's talk about 'getting excited'," Ranma continued.
"You threw *two* separate temper tantrums!"

"I didn't throw any temper tantrums!" Akane protested.

Ranma handed her a mirror, showing her the foot-shaped
bruise on her face. "You were punching at him like a little
kid who's dolly had been taken away, and he got in a high
kick!"

"He *cut* me!!" Akane explained, gesturing at her wound.

"No excuse to forget your martial arts training and start
swinging like a little girl!" Ranma countered. "And that bit
at the end - that was just sad, how you completely lost your
temper!"

"I won, didn't I? Besides, after what he called me, he
deserved it!"

"What did he call you?" Nabiki asked, curious.

Akane's Scowl of Intolerance Against Hentais (TM, Pat.
Pend.) activated. "He said I was a cute girl!"

Tofu looked confused. "Is that a problem?"

Ranma patted her on the head. "Look on the bright side -
there's an advantage in being so cute and frilly and girly
that no one can possibly take you seriously as a martial
artist."

Akane snapped and bit at him like a mad dog.

<Oho! That's it!> Nabiki patted Akane's hand. "Don't worry -
we'll all still think of you as an uncute tomboy."

Akane smiled. "Thanks, Nabiki."

"Well, I won't" Ranma stated. "It's obvious I've been too
gentle! Starting as soon as possible - increased training!
No more mollycoddling! Harder workouts!"

"What?!?" Akane yelled in shock.

"As soon as your stitches come out, you're going to train
ten times harder than you ever dreamed in your worst
nightmares!"

Akane rolled her eyes back in her head and fainted.

 * * * * * * * * * *

(That evening)

Ryoga-buta curled up in a basinet, content for the first
time in his life.

He came down in a canal, and dragged himself out, half-
drowned.

Then came a gentle voice, and warm hands.

"Oh, poor piggy," a gentle voice said, "Who could be so
cruel as to try to drown a helpless little piglet?"

The gentle lady took him to her home, cleaned him up, and
almost gave him a warm bath until he struggled and made her
change her mind.

"Oh dear," she said in alarm, "you must have been
traumatized by almost being drowned. I guess a cold-water
scrub will have to do."

She fed him and tended his injuries and treated him with
such kindness as he had never known.

She was so lonely, she poured out her heart to the little
piglet, telling of her pain since her family was gone.
Ryoga's heart went out to the pretty lady, as he gave her
what comfort a piglet could.

No one had ever shown him such kindness, had reacted so
positively to him. Ryoga wondered if he could love the
pretty lady.

She was kind and beautiful and gentle and loving. She even
had a pretty name ... Nodoka ...

----------

Next Episode: Kodachi arrives!
