--------------------
Ranma 1/2: Another Approach
Part 6
By Jack Staik, Bookkeeper-At-Arms
--------------------

SYNOPSIS: Ryoga Hibiki has allied himself with Hikaru
Gosunkugi, and they have come to the Tendo Dojo to do in
Ranma. However, Gosunkugi had no way of knowing about the
Hibiki Curse...

 * * * * * * * * * *

Gosunkugi noted Hibiki wandering past the front gate for the
fifth time. <How can anyone have such a lousy sense of
direction?> he wondered. <Does he have a gypsy curse or
something?>

"What are you doing, you idiot?" Gosunkugi barked.

"Trying to find the house!" Ryoga protested. "They can't
hide it from me forever!"

Gosunkugi pointed to the house.

Ryoga looked over and almost jumped out of his skin. "Where
did *that* come from?!?" he asked in shock.

Gosunkugi shook his head. "Do you need a guide dog or
something?"

"No thanks," Ryoga answered. "I've got a guide dog." He
looked sad. "Or I used to. But I lost him."

"Why doesn't this surprise me?" He turned Ryoga toward the
house and nudged him in the proper direction. "There! Go!"

Ryoga grumbled and started walking.

 * * * * * * * * * *

"Okay," Ranma said, reading the notes he had taken, "I'm
supposed to - as your boyfriend - take you to meals, get you
presents, protect you from violence, shake down delinquent
debtors, and try out for all the sports teams that you hold
betting concessions on."

"You're a good listener, Ranma-kun," Nabiki agreed. <This is
like shooting fish in a barrel.>

"And what do you do? Being a girlfriend, an' all?"

Nabiki smiled, eased herself into his lap, put her arms
around his neck, and kissed him.

Ranma's lips ... did nothing. Nabiki broke the kiss and
looked at him; his pig-tail was standing straight up, his
eyes were huge, and he was sweating like he was being
roasted.

<Interesting reaction,> she noted. "Did you like that?" she
whispered.

"Eep," he squeaked.

<Hmmm... might have to use stronger measures to get him to
fall.>

 * * * * * * * ** * * *

Kasumi took the tea set back to the kitchen, a pleasant
smile on her face (gee, big surprise). She contemplated
innocently going out on the porch to ask Nabiki and Ranma if
they wanted some tea (and to keep ... improprieties from
taking place; teenagers require chaperonage, after all).

It turned out not to be necessary.

Ranma and Nabiki were in the kitchen - rather, Nabiki was
trying to talk Ranma off the top of the refrigerator.

"Please come down, Ranma!"

"Eeep!"

"Is there a problem?" Kasumi asked in a sweet tone of voice.

Nabiki flinched as she heard the unexpected voice. "K-k-
kasumi-oneechan! No! Nothing's the matter!" <Damn, this is
embarassing.>

Kasumi looked at the martial artist cowering atop the
refrigerator. "Did something scare you, Ranma-kun?"

"I - er, I - that is -" Ranma explained clearly.

"Did Nabiki ... surprise you?" she asked tactfully.

"Yeah!" Ranma agreed, grabbing the face-saving
interpretation. "She surprised me!"

Kasumi turned to her sister. "Nabiki-chan, you shouldn't
surprise him like that. He *is* a martial artist, and his
trained reflexes make being surprised a dangerous thing."

"Hai, Oneechan." Nabiki said, nodding.

"Now, don't you think you should apologize for alarming
Ranma-kun?"

Nabiki nodded. "Ranma, I'm sorry for surprising you."

"And?" Kasumi said.

"And ... I promise that I won't stick my tongue in your
mouth anymore."

"Oh my." Kasumi commented.

Ranma stayed where he was.

"And I won't touch you ... there any more," Nabiki added.

<It looks like I was right to be worried,> Kasumi thought,
<Just not the way I expected.>

Ranma climbed down. "I wasn't scared or nothin'," he said
arrogantly. "It's just ... uh ... "

"It wouldn't be proper so soon," Kasumi said helpfully.

"Yeah! That's it!" he agreed heartily. "We've been boyfriend
and girlfriend just a day! It wouldn't be right for me to
... to take advantage an' all."

"I suppose not," Nabiki said. <Wuss.>

As Ranma and Kasumi got a fresh pot of tea ready, Nabiki
shook her head, annoyed and shocked at how badly she had
miscalculated. <This is ridiculous! I know he was raised
isolated from females, but he's got to have urges!>

A notion hit her. <Child athletes often have delays in
maturity due to the stress of constant exercise. Could
Ranma's unique childhood have ... delayed his sexual
development somehow? I'll have to ask Tofu-sensei.>


Kasumi looked at Ranma as he prepared the tea set. Such
integrity in a young boy (a young man, she corrected
herself) was quite rare. True, his manners were atrocious,
but he had other admirable qualities. Nabiki could have done
worse.

Perhaps with a bit of coaching, he could shape up nicely. If
Nabiki married, then she could take over as the mistress of
the house, and Kasumi could go somewhere else. *Anywhere*
else. And abandon this madhouse to live her own life!

"Um, did I do something wrong, Kasumi?" Ranma asked.

Kasumi shook herself out of her reverie. "Nothing, Ranma-
kun, just thinking."

 * * * * * * * * * *

Akane heard the footsteps coming up the stairs.

Since Ranma did the most sweating (except for herself and
Kasumi), he usually took a bath first.

She had everything ready. This time it would be perfect.
Nabiki wouldn't spoil *this* plan!

She could see it now...

<RANMA comes to the bathroom door and sees that the
'Occupied' sign is off. He undresses and goes to have a
bath. Inside, AKANE is stepping from the furo.>
<AKANE (very loudly): Ranma! Whatever are you doing here??>
<RANMA: But I->
<AKANE: EEEEEEKKKKKK!!!>
<SOUN (charging in, demon-head): HENTAI!! HOW DARE YOU TRY
TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AKANE!!>
<SOUN kicks RANMA out the window.>

<Heh-heh-heh,> she chuckled to herself. <This can't miss! No
way Tousan would let him stay if he tried something with
me!>

She heard the door open behind her. "Ranma!" she said in a
very loud, unconvincing voice, "Whatever are you doing in
here??"

"I came in to wash up," Soun said.

"DADDY!!" Akane shouted, whirling around. "Where's Ranma?!?"

"I believe he's still with your sister," Soun replied.
"Were you expecting him?"

"Ah - ah - y'see -"

"Akane-chan," Soun said gravely, "while having affection for
your sensei is a good thing, trying to tempt your sensei
sexually is simply not appropriate. Especially when he's in
a relationship with your sister."

"But - but -" Akane sputtered.

"Now put up the 'Occupied' sign, finish your bath, and let's
hear no more of this."


As he shut the door, Soun couldn't help smiling. Not one but
*two* of his daughters were interested in the boy!

Genma was right, now that he thought of it - in all
likelihood, all three would have rejected him if they had
tried to force the boy on them. Now, it seems that without
any effort on the part of the fathers, the boy was drawing
them in like a magnet!

Nabiki zipped past him in the hallway. "'Scuse me, Daddy,"
she mumbled in passing.


Akane growled, foamed at the mouth, and ripped up bathroom
fixtures. Her own *father* thought that *she* had a crush on
that bastard Saotome!

"I'll get you, Ranma! No matter what, I'll get you!"

"Ah, Akane-chan?"

Akane turned toward Nabiki, who was standing in the door.

"I thought you got over this silly crush. I know Ranma's
really cute, but he's your sensei, not to mention my
boyfriend."

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!"

 * * * * * * * * * *

(Several hours later...)

Gosunkugi tapped Ryoga on the shoulder.

"Gosunkugi? How did you manage to find me?"

"This way," he sighed, leading Ryoga by hand to the Tendo
house.

"Now, Ranma's room is there -" <pointing> "- on the second
floor."

Ryoga looked curiously at Gosunkugi. "How do you know where
he sleeps?"

<Because I was photographing Akane getting ready for bed -
no, don't tell him that -> "I was trying to make sure ...
Ranma didn't try to take advantage of Akane! Yeah, that's
plausible."

Ryoga, being gullible and unobservant, fell for the blatant
lie. He nodded and hopped up to the eaves before the window.

"I'll get him while he's asleep! He won't escape my
vengeance this time!"

Ryoga climbed into the dark room, umbrella at the ready. He
noted the panda sleeping nearby. <Aha! Proof of his guilt!
The dumb beast is his accomplice!>

Carefully creeping up to the sleeping martial artist, he
raised his umbrella and struck!

Ranma's arm swung as he turned over, deflecting the
umbrella.

Ryoga raised the umbrella and swung again.

Ranma rolled over, the umbrella striking the place where his
head had been a second before.

He swung the umbrella again and again. Again and again,
Ranma casually shifted, dodging, deflecting and blocking
every blow.

<He *CAN'T* be this good! He will *NOT* beat me in his
sleep!> Raising his foot, Ryoga attempted to stomp on
Ranma's sleeping head.

Ranma rolled over again, his elbow catching Ryoga in the
descending ankle, sending the Lost Boy tumbling onto the
panda.

<WHOMP!> went the panda-sign.


Gosunkugi waited outside for the Lost Boy to eliminate his
nemesis, he who was making Akane miserable (and who had lost
him money, too!). He wondered what was taking Hibiki so
long.

<Could he have gotten lost crossing the room?> Gosunkugi
wondered.

Then a screaming figure flew out of the window, followed by
another figure. A splash was heard.

The panda leaned out the window, snarling angrily. The sign
he waved read, [Keep it quiet! People are trying to sleep!].

A cute (and *really* well-built) girl wearing boxers and a
t-shirt stomped out of the pond. "What the hell is going on
here?!?" she demanded.

Gosunkugi just stared (even in the half-light from the moon
and streetlights, the girl's body in those wet clothes ...
he could feel his complexion clearing). It was the Mystery
Girl in those photos that Nabiki had been selling.

"So, Ranma, you change into a girl now," Ryoga sneered. "A
fitting curse, since you fight like a girl. And final proof
of your guilt!"

<'CURSE'?> Gosunkugi's mind reeled. For years, he'd tried to
tap into the power of voodoo, attempting to invoke spirits
to curse his enemies, but at some level, he really didn't
*believe*.

Ranma-chan and Ryoga circled each other warily, seeking an
opening.

"Why the hell are you after me, Ryoga?" Ranma-chan demanded.

"You put me through hell, Saotome!"

"What the hell are you *talking* about!?!"

Ryoga scowled. "After you ran out on our duel, I followed
you to get my revenge! I followed you all the way to China!"

A look of comprehension crossed Ranma-chan's face. "You fell
in Jusenkyo, didn't you?"

"And it was all your fault!"

 * * * * * * * * * *

"Akane!" Kasumi said fearfully, shaking her sleeping sister.

"Damn it Ranma, lemme sleep ..." Akane mumbled.

"It's me - Kasumi!" she whispered urgently.

"Whaddaya wan'?" Akane incoherently said.

"There's a prowler in the house!"

Akane snapped awake. "Are you sure?"

"I heard a crash from out back! I think he's in the yard
now!"

Akane went to the window. "Hey, there *is* someone there!"

"I knew it!" Kasumi hissed. "A prowler - with a backpack for
his stolen goods!"

"I'll get him!" Akane stated, climbing out the window. <At
last - a chance to beat on someone without that damn Ranma
getting in the way!>

"No, Akane! Don't go out there!"

"YAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Akane cried, leaping toward the intruder,
her body aligned with her leg and foot, aiming for his head.

He barely had time to turn before forty-five kilos of
extremely well-muscled girl slammed into his face.

"HAH! Got you, bastard!" Akane crowed. "Rob our place, will
you?"

"Got him good, too," Ranma-chan commented.

Akane jumped. "What are you doing here, Ranma?" she said.

"I *was* fighting Ryoga here - before you jumped in."

Akane lifted up the unconscious head. "You're right. What
was he doing here?"

"Throwing me from my bedroom window, apparently."

Nabiki came charging out, "Don't you people have any respect
for a girl's beauty sleep??"

"Don't yell at us, Oneechan," Akane protested. "This goon
attacked Ranma -" a nasty smile passed across her face, "-
and *I* had to save him!"

Ranma-chan came up with a bucket of pond-water. "Not
exactly, Akane. You interrupted a fight, but you didn't
'save' me."

"Same thing. What's the bucket for?"

"This." <SPLOOSH!>

"BWEEEE!!!"

Nabiki and Akane (and Gosunkugi, lurking in the shadows)
looked on in shock at the piglet that had been Ryoga. "He
said he followed me to China - and that he fell in Jusenkyo.
He thinks it's my fault."

Ryoga-buta looked around, shivering. His secret exposed, his
shame revealed to his worse enemy and his friends! Trapped,
helpless, before the evil Saotome!

"What should we do with him?" Nabiki asked.

"Maybe we can keep him as a pet?" Ranma suggested.

Akane shook her head. "That's stupid, Ranma! Who'd be silly
enough to keep a pig as a pet?"

Kasumi came out in her bathrobe, a fresh kettle of heated
water in one hand. "I thought you might need this, Ranma-
kun."

"Arigato, Kasumi," she said, pouring the water on herself.

Gosunkugi watched from the shadows (not ninja skills, just a
natural talent for not being noticed) as the red-haired girl
became Ranma again. <I need more information if I'm to use
this.>

Ranma poured the water on the piglet, changing him back.

As Ryoga pulled his clothes on (to Akane and Nabiki's
applause and whistles, and Kasumi's embarrassment), he
looked at his nemesis. "Well, Ranma? Going to say anything?
Make a few comments about the 'pig-boy'??"

"Nope."

Ryoga looked at Ranma in surprise. He knew Ranma well, and
Ranma wouldn't hesitate to pick on him.

"Y'see, Ryoga-kun," he said in a somewhat-sad voice, "I
considered you my rival, my equal in the Art. But you were
just defeated by my student. If a mere beginner could defeat
you, you can't possibly be my equal."

"I am *not* a beginner!" Akane yelled. "I'm a trained
martial artist!"

"And I'm your *better*!" Ryoga protested.

"Is that so? Then why did my student defeat you?"

"Because she hit me from behind with a lucky shot!"

<WHAM!!>

Nabiki and Kasumi looked on in amazement. "That's the
biggest mallet I've ever seen you use, Imouto-chan!"

"Oh my. Do you think he's all right?"

Ranma shook his head sadly. "That's twice - in less than ten
minutes. Pathetic, Ryoga. It's clear you're simply not as
good as she is. And if you're not capable of defeating my
student, I can't, in all good conscience, fight you. That
would be picking on a weakling."

"<groan> Call me a weakling, will you?" Ryoga snarled.

"If you can't even defeat my student -"

"We'll see about that!" Ryoga snapped. He turned to Akane,
"I - what is your name?"

"Akane Tendo."

"Akane Tendo, I challenge you! I shall defeat you, then your
sensei! And none of your underhanded tricks!"

Akane's temper flared. "My WHAT?? You break into a person's
house in the middle of the night, attack someone in their
sleep, and you say *I'm* underhanded?!? I accept your
challenge, Pig-Boy! Time and place!"

"Tomorrow noon in the schoolyard, so everyone can see your
defeat!" He turned to Ranma. "Then, I'm going to get *you*,
Saotome!"

"<yawn> Yeah, right." Ranma commented.

Ryoga stomped out of the yard, fuming.

 * * * * * * * * * *

"Where are you going?" Gosunkugi asked.

"YOW! I - hi, Gosunkugi. Didn't see you. I was going to the
park to sleep, so I could get to the schoolyard in the
morning."

Gosunkugi pointed. "The park's *that* way."

Ryoga looked the direction the smaller boy pointed. "Oh.
Thanks."

And started out in the opposite direction.

Gosunkugi grabbed Ryoga's bandana and pulled. "You can stay
in my garage tonight. I'll escort you to the school."

<Wow. Showing up the same day as the duel? They'll *never*
expect that!> "Arigato, Gosunkugi-kun."

"No problem. Now why don't you tell me about this curse you
two have?"

 * * * * * * * * * *

Akane jumped around the kitchen, doing katas.

"C'mon, Akane, let's get to bed," Nabiki whined.

"Yah! Yah! I've got a challenge tomorrow! Gotta train!"

"Don't sweat it, teishi," Ranma said. "This is Ryoga Hibiki
we're talking about. He'll get lost, and you'll have at
least three days, maybe a week. "

Akane objected. "But-"

"Besides, you gotta be rested if you want to start on the Ja
Jinku no Apache in the morning."

<Damn! He's got a point. A new technique would be useful.>
"Hai, sensei," she nodded and headed for bed.

"G'night, teishi," he called out after her.

"Um, Ranma-kun?" Nabiki asked.

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you do that?"

"What?"

"Foisting your old enemy off on Akane. Won't she get hurt?"

Ranma shook his head. "Nah. Ryoga won't hurt a girl. She'll
get a good fight, but he'll hold back."

"So this is more training?" Kasumi asked.

Ranma shook his head. "Not really. Me and Kuno and the Horde
gives her all the workout she needs for now."

"They why?" Nabiki asked again.

Ranma looked sad. "Because Ryoga was my friend once. Maybe
if we don't fight, maybe I can talk to him. I - I don't have
a lot of friends. I don't want to lose one."

Kasumi and Nabiki both felt the loneliness in his voice.
Without really thinking, Nabiki put her arms around Ranma
and hugged him. Ranma, not noticing, found himself hugging
her back.

-------------------

Next Episode: The Duel of Akane and Ryoga! The Treachery of
Gosunkugi! And Kuno!

