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Ranma 1/2: Another Approach
Part 3
By Jack Staik, Bookkeeper-At-Arms
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SYNOPSIS: An altered timeline: Genma Saotome has brought his
son Ranma to the Tendo Dojo to challenge Tendo's heir to see
who will become Master of Anything Goes Martial Arts. Ranma
beat Tendo's heir and daughter, Akane, and is now her
sensei.

Escorting Akane to school, Kuno attacks the boy he thinks is
terrorizing Akane. He ends up out cold at Akane's hands,
with Akane fainting from over-exertion a moment later. Kuno
challenges Ranma to a duel, while Nabiki realizes that
Ranma's ignorance of male-female relationships is worse than
naive, it borders on total ignorance.

We rejoin Our Heroes as Ranma checks up on Akane's
condition.

 * * * * * * * * * *

"And how's my favorite student?" Ranma asked, his voice all
sweetness and light.

Akane glared. "You -" and she proceeded into a vulgar,
unladylike and rather repetitive account of her personal
opinion of him that would make the average drill sergeant
blush. Nabiki showed up just as Akane was winding down.

"My oh my, if Kuno could hear his little peach blossom now!"

Ranma chuckled. "Your boyfriend really talks about you like
that?"

"KUNO IS *NOT* MY BOYFRIEND! He's a pest, an annoyance, and
a JERK! Not to mention a pervert!" She growled in
aggravation. "The degenerate made this stupid proclamation
that only someone who beat me in combat could date me, so
every morning for the past year this bunch of hentais
attacks me right in front of the school!"

"You probably noticed them coming in, Ranma-kun." Nabiki
said, smiling. "All the sport uniform types?"

Ranma nodded. "Well, we'll probably keep those -"

"NANI??" Akane exclaimed.

"- It'll be good exercise." he explained. "As for Kuno, how
often do you beat him?"

"Every day." she said, with a measure of pride.

"Really? He might be holding back - a lot of guys do when
fighting girls -"

"Grrrrr..." Akane commented, advancing on Ranma, hands
flexing in anticipation of strangling...

Ranma took the bento from Nabiki and tossed it at Akane. The
young student, starved and tired, grabbed it out of mid-air
and began doing a credible Lina-Inverse-At-Lunch imitation.

"So, if he is," Ranma continued, "I'll have to make him
stop. After all, if he holds back, you'll learn to
underestimate opponents, and that sort of bad habit a
martial artist does *not* need."

"Buh mrabu urb," Akane said through a mouthful of rice.

"Beg pardon?"

"<chew-chew-gulp> I said, Who do you think you are, saying
who I can fight?!"

"I'm the poor victim roped into trying to turn you into a
credible imitation of a martial artist." he said calmly.

"YAAAAAHHH!!" Akane yelled, her fist headed for his face.

Ranma leaned back, letting her fist slip past him, and took
her wrist in his hand.

Suddenly Akane found herself spinning around as Ranma spun
her in a graceful-but-high-speed pirouette. As Ranma let go,
Akane staggered around in a circle, almost losing her newly-
acquired breakfast.

Nabiki chuckled at her sister's humiliation, as she first
spun like a top, then staggered like a drunk.

"I've got a duel with Kuno this afternoon after school."
Ranma commented. "I'll assess him then, and let both of you
know if he's good enough to keep fighting you." He gently
nudged her forward. "Now we've got classes."


The students buzzed with gossip about the handsome young man
who had carried Akane into school this morning, as well as
Akane's horrible new hairdo.

Akane's pregnant, that's why she fainted - Akane and Ranma
are married - Ranma's a ninja - Ranma beats Akane - Akane
beats Ranma - Ranma's a gay hairdresser who did Akane's hair
- these and more unlikely, less responsible tales buzzed
around the school.

Nabiki, of course, put out accurate information, but took no
responsibility for what happened to the information
afterwards. And, of course, raked in the cash. At one point,
she actually tape-recorded her answers to the usual
questions and played the tape for a thousand yen per
customer, just to save wear and tear on her voice.

At lunch, Akane had settled down to mildly annoyed. She
flared up again with the questions that her friends fired at
her about her 'boyfriend'. She had the hardest time trying
to convince them that there was nothing even remotely
romantic between her and the tall, athletic, blue-eyed boy.

(Besides, the rumors were much juicier than the truth.)

The boys weren't any better, but after the questions got too
ecchi, Ranma expressed his disapproval by holding the worst
offender upside down from the top of the clock tower. They
became more polite after that.


After school, students gathered in the soccer field. A crowd
gathered, and bookies made book on the upcoming duel (of
course, they all had a franchise from Nabiki). Nabiki knew
that Ranma could whip Kuno easily (having seen him train
Akane), and gave hideously high odds against him to lure in
the sucker bets.

No one really paid attention to the overcast sky, nor the
rumble of thunder in the distance.

Akane and Nabiki waited outside the school doors for Ranma,
Nabiki calm and Akane snarling.

"Why do we have to wait for the baka, anyway?" she growled.
"It's his damn fight."

Nabiki shook her head. "Akane-chan, you've gotten a dirty
mouth lately, y'know?"

"It's Ranma's fault!" she said. "He keeps getting me mad and
I just want to -" and she described something she wanted to
have happen to Ranma that Doctor Mengele wouldn't touch with
a ten-foot pole.

"Ewwwwww!" Nabiki commented.

"Hi, girls! He here yet?" Ranma asked.

"No, his ego demands a big, flashy entrance." Nabiki
commented.

"You should know about big egos." Akane commented.


Ranma walked toward the Appointed Place. He wondered why
Nabiki had taken his arm to escort him to the duel, but
didn't comment on it.

From the murmur that swept the crowd, the onlookers did
notice it, as Nabiki intended. If they associated the two
together now, that would insure fewer difficulties later on.
Ranma, as she had deduced, missed the subtle claim she had
just publicly staked on him.

This should be easy. She can subtly seal off competition
with a few minor displays of public affection and some
rumors - all of which Ranma wouldn't notice - then get to
work on wooing him gently, so as not to spook him. He should
be a reliable asset within a few weeks.

Nabiki anticipated good-sized profits from wagering on Ranma
- fights, sports, etc - not to mention the market of photos
of his female form (or his male form, for that matter - many
people drastically underestimated the female appetite for
such things).

"Do you have to do that??" Akane hissed.

"Do what?" Nabiki asked.

"Hang all over him like - like some hussy!"

Nabiki put on her best sardonic grin. "Jealous?"

"HA!" Akane sneered. "If your tastes runs to bakayarou
transvestites, go ahead!"

"Hermaphromorph."

"Huh?" Ranma asked.

"The technical term for a creature that changes genders."
Nabiki explained. "He'd only be a transvestite if he wore
girl's clothes. Which he doesn't."

"Probably just a matter of time." Akane grumbled. "Just wait
- he'll be stealing our underwear in a week."

Ranma leaned close. "Uh, Nabiki?" Ranma whispered.

"Yes?"

"What's a 'hussy'?"

Nabiki looked his face over carefully. He was serious. <How
did that idiot Genma raise this boy anyhow?> "I'll explain
later, Ranma-kun."

The crowd parted, and Tatewaki Kuno stepped forth. He
proclaimed in a commanding voice, "I, the great Tatewaki
Kuno, known as the Blue Thunder of Furnikan High -"

"Wasn't he the 'Shooting Star' last week?" someone said.

"- has come to defeat the cur Ranma Saotome in noble combat,
for the hand of the beauteous Akane Tendo!"

Akane made a loud and unladylike raspberry.

"Okay, Kuno," Ranma said. "You want me, I'm here. And if
you're good enough, I'll permit you to keep challenging my
student."

"WHAT?!?" Kuno exclaimed. "How dare you claim that the
mighty and noble Blue Thunder isn't 'good enough' to do such
a thing!?!" With a mighty battle-cry, he charged Ranma and
made a mighty slash.

Ranma sidestepped the blow, and ducked the next slash, and
the next. Kuno was swift, but he looked like he was posing
for an instruction manual. <Perfect form. That limits his
responses. But he's got a lot of speed and power.>

A light drizzle began, but everyone was too wrapped up in
the fight to notice.

With a single bound, Ranma flipped over Kuno's head, one
finger outstretched toward his opponent.

"Ha! You missed!" Kuno barked.

"Um, Kuno-chan?" Nabiki said, holding out a compact.

Kuno glanced at the tiny mirror ... and saw the bruise on
his forehead, in the form of the kanji of chaos - the first
kanji in Ranma's name.

Kuno was shocked, then was enraged. "YAAAHHH!!" he cried. He
began a series of ever-more-rapid thrusts toward his
opponent. "Strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-
strike-" he chanted in time with his attacks.

Ranma dodged around the strikes with a fluid grace, while
behind him a tree that had the bad luck to be in a straight-
line path with Kuno's strikes began to splinter and chip,
then to explode in a shower of wood chips and sap.

"Wow," Nabiki remarked. "By air pressure alone ..."

Akane was aghast at Kuno. All that speed and power, not to
mention that multiple-strike technique... "Ranma was right,"
she said. "Kuno was holding back." She began to snarl, her
face getting red. "All this time, he was holding back -
toying with me - PATRONIZING ME!!! Treating me like a
FRAGILE LITTLE GIRL!!"

Nabiki stepped back *real* quick.

The drizzle picked up a bit, and Ranma felt the odd
sensation he hadbecome so familiar with in the past two
weeks - the water was almost enough to trigger his curse.
<Better wind this up fast.>

With a spin and a duck, Ranma was suddenly inside Kuno's
defense, his arms on either side of Ranma. Then, a flurry of
strikes to Kuno's armpits and stomach.

Kuno gasped and grunted, dropping his bokuto and falling to
his knees.

"You lose." Ranma said, tapping Kuno's forehead. Kuno fell
backwards, staring up at the sky with a look of utter
bafflement.

"You're a good fighter, Kuno. Not the best, but not bad."
Ranma critiqued. "But if you want to challenge my pupil any
more, you must stop holding back."

"But -" Kuno protested, still on the ground. "- if I
unleashed my full prowess, Akane might be injured by my
might. I could never - YAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Akane swung the prostrate Kuno up by his ankles and slammed
him into the ground. "HOW DARE YOU!! <WHAM!!>  YOU START
THIS <WHAM!!> IDIOCY, AND THEN YOU <WHAM!!> TREAT ME LIKE
<WHAM!!> A JOKE!! <WHAM!!> BAKA!! <WHAM!!> BAKA!! <WHAM!!>
BAKA!!"

Ranma chuckled. "Well, we can wait for him to recover before
he resumes challenging you. *If* he can bring himself to
attack you properly."

Kuno, being busy examining the inside of his skull, was
unavailable for comment.

"And just think, Akane-chan," Nabiki commented, taking
Ranma's arm, "if he goes all out the next time you fight, he
might actually win, and then you'll have to date him!"

"NANI?!?"

"A good incentive to improve, na?" Ranma commented. "Um,
this drizzle is getting bad ... mebbe we should get inside
now?"

 * * * * * * * * * *

Soon, the rumors were quashed, and the announcements given.
Akane's sensei in the martial arts - who had pummelled Kuno
in front of the whole school - had not only given his
blessing to the combats for Akane's hand, but was involved
with Nabiki, and thus not a contender! The Horde O' Hentai's
rejoiced and prepared for the morrow.

The hospital called the school, getting Kuno a two-week
absence while his ribs healed. The entire school rejoiced.

 * * * * * * * * * *

The large boar in the woods was tired and hungry, as well as
suffering from a mild infection. All these things made it
ignore its instinctive impulse to avoid human habitation.

The yelling, the screaming, the honking car horns, just made
its rage and confusion worse. It charged about at random,
occasionally trampling some villager.

Then it saw the human with the umbrella. Strangely, he felt
a kinship with this one. He *knew* that this one wasn't a
screaming human or a doesn't-leave-a-boar-alone human. This
one could *help* him!! Squealing gleefully, the boar charged
toward the human boy.

The umbrella came down so quickly, the boar never figured
out that he was dead.

Soon, the umbrella wielder, armed with totally-useless
directions from the villagers, set out in the wrong
direction to find Tokyo.

"Soon, Saotome," Ryoga muttered. "Soon I will find you, and
I will destroy your happiness!"

 * * * * * * * * * *

That evening, Akane had finished putting her hair down
again, and was sneaking food out of the kitchen (although
supper had already been served, Ranma decided that Akane
needed training in Martial Arts Food-Snatching. Thus, Akane
had the unique experience of watching her food evaporate
before she could eat it.) As she assmebled a great leftover-
based meal, Nabiki walked in on her.

"How do you expect to keep your girlish figure if you eat
like that?" Nabiki chided.

"Easy. I won't starve to death." Akane replied.

"Well, if this is any indication, we know how Ranma's table
manners developed."

Akane briefly visalized herself in a red Chinese shirt and
black pants with her hair in a braided pigtail, inhaling
huge amounts of food with vulgar noises.

"Ewwwww!!" she commented.

"Well, you're the one who wants to be the Heir to the
School." Nabiki said. "So Ranma's going to train you as he
sees fit."

"Well, I am *not* going to turn into another Ranma! I'll be
the Heir and new Master, *and* I'll get that Ranma, too!
Watch my dust!" She reached for an eggroll - only to find an
empty plate.

Akane looked around, finally noticing Ranma (whom she would
have *sworn* wasn't there a few seconds ago) licking his
fingers.

"A true Martial Artist should expect an attack at any time.
<burp>" he commented.

"YAAAAHHHH!!!" Akane replied.

Nabiki left the room as Akane began her rapidly-evolving-
routine of trying to kill Ranma while saying very very
unladylike things.


Genma and Soun were cheating at shogi when the sound of
vitriolic commentary came from the kitchen, followed by a
loud girlish cry and the splash of an Akane hitting the koi
pond.

"Her training's coming along well." Soun commented.

"Growf." Genma commented.

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Next Episode: The Coming of the Lost Boy! Akane faces her
first challenge! (And Kuno returns from ICU!)

