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Ranma 1/2: Another Approach
Part 2
By Jack Staik, Bookkeeper-At-Arms
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SYNOPSIS: An altered timeline: Genma Saotome has brought his
son Ranma to the Tendo Dojo to challenge Tendo's heir to see
who will become Master of Anything Goes Martial Arts. Ranma
beat Tendo's heir and daughter, Akane, and is now her
sensei.

The Tendo household prepares for breakfast, and Akane has
just completed her first training session...

 * * * * * * * * * *

Kasumi had just finished setting out the miso and rice, and
Nabiki and Soun were just sitting down to eat. Ranma was
still outside, sparring with Genma, as Akane dragged herself
in.

Her favorite yellow pajamas were a mess, soaking wet and
mud-stained from the pond. Her face had an expression of
half-exhaustion and half-anger.

And her hair ... oh gods-be-merciful, her *hair* ...

Nabiki restrained her chuckle, but not her smirk. "So, baby
sister, how's your training going?"

Akane snarled. "He's a heartless, sadistic, inhuman
barbarian!"

Soun smiled idiotically. "Ah, that brings back memories.
Being hurled off cliffs into icy lakes by our old Master was
so commonplace, Saotome and I stopped waking up. Almost
drowned more than once."

Kasumi just stared at the Hair.

Akane noticed Kasumi's stare, directed at the top of her
head. "Oh no! Is my hair muddy? I'll have to wash it all
over again!" She dashed out of the room and up the stairs.

As she ran, Nabiki waited for her to get out of earshot,
then collapsed into laughter.


Akane slipped out of her pajamas, muttering something
unprintable about barbarian bakayarou transvestites. Her
body ached with assorted bruises and unfamiliar exertion.
Her old workouts with her father had been tiring, but
nothing like this.

She looked in the mirror to survey the damage that had made
Kasumi stare so ... and froze.

Akane had been growing her hair out for years, trying to
make it longer and more luxuriant than her sister Kasumi's,
so maybe Doctor Tofu would notice her. And she had always
worn it straight, with the traditional small ribbon to keep
it under control.

Now her hair was done up in two ridiculous-looking odangos
with white ribbons. She looked like a Sailor Moon otaku.

The bathroom door shattered as an angry Akane charged
through it.

"RRRAAANNNMMMAAA!!!" she cried as she charged down the
stairs and rushed into the dining room. Ranma-onna and
Genma-panda were already there, just coming inside.

Ranma-onna blushed and turned away, while Genma-panda just
stared and Soun-baka (sorry, couldn't resist :-) ) fainted.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?!?!" she asked in a reserved
manner (for someone about to commit a serious act of axe-
killing).

Ranma-onna, still looking away, commented. "Well, I was
getting bored, and since your defenses and reflexes were so
slow, I decided to pass the time -"

"BY MAKING ME LOOK STUPID?!?!"

"Don't need any help from me."

"THAT'S RIGHT!! AND LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M YELLING AT YOU!!"

Nabiki, while finding this intensely amusing, decided that
if they were to get to school on time, she'd better do
something. She tapped her sister on the shoulder. "Ah,
Akane-chan?"

Akane spun around. "WHAT??"

Nabiki pointed.

Akane looked down.

Akane had charged out of the bathroom without a robe.

Without a towel.

Without undergarments.

All there was ... was showing. The Complete Akane in vibrant
flesh-tones.

Akane screamed and dashed back out of the room. Ranma-onna
breathed a sigh of relief as Kasumi poured hot water on his
head. Genma-panda continued to stare in the direction that
Akane had departed.

Ranma noticed this and swatted Genma. "Oi! That's my
*student* you're leering at, Oyaji!"

 * * * * * * * * * *

Akane fumed. This wasn't training, this was torture! When
she got back from getting ready for school (with her hair
still in those ridiculous odangos; it would take too long
for her to get her hair presentable), Ranma-youma and Genma-
baka had eaten her breakfast! And he scolded her for taking
too long!

Otosan was no help - all he did was tell stories of how
their old master had tied them to trees for several days
while cooking and eating in front of them.

Ranma reluctantly agreed to go to school. (Not really
reluctant, but he knew from long experience that anything he
was too eager about would likely be ruined by Oyaji.) He
allowed himself to be talked into it, then went along with
Akane and Nabiki.

Ranma casually hopped up onto the top of the canal fence and
motioned to Akane.

"Nani??" she inquired.

"Get up here! You need to work on your balance."

"I can't walk on that! What if somebody comes along? They'll
be able to look right up my skirt!"

"Do you think an enemy will care about your panties? While
you waste time blushing, someone could pound you into the
dirt!

"Besides, unless you master balance, you can't master aerial
techniques. And if you can't master aerial techniques, you
might as well take a vow of pacifism and become a nun,
because you'll *never* be any good at Anything Goes!"

Akane growled. "I'll show you - ANAJAKU!" She climbed up
onto the fence.

Ranma smiled; he remembered calling Oyaji that a long time
ago, back when he still respected the old bastard. It's a
pleasant sensation for a teacher, knowing that your student
respects you.

Akane stood up, swaying. She almost fell over, only to have
Ranma's hands grab her upper arms. They were rather large
hands, she noted, and very strong, and warm...

Suddenly she was shoved forward. She almost tipped over, but
Ranma kept swatting her upright again. "RUN YOU LAZY GIRL!!
RUN!!"

Akane ran, barely able to keep upright except for Ranma
forcing her, his relentless voice driving her forward.
"C'MON YOU SILLY GIRL! BALANCE! DON'T THINK, JUST DO! WHY DO
KEEP PRETENDING - YOU'RE NO MARTIAL ARTIST! YOU'RE JUST A
FRILLY LITTLE HOUSEWIFE!"

(The Saotome Motivational Technique - piss them off enough,
and they'll do *anything* to show you up.)

 * * * * * * * * * *

Tatewaki Kuno, the Shooting Star - no, Blue Thunder, yes,
that's catchy - the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High awaited
his regular challenge to the fair Akane Tendo. Soon, she
would tire of their little game and allow herself to lose,
and thus would the noble samurai claim his prize.

He briefly allowed himself to imagine his "prize" (topped
with whipped cream and marshmallows) before he noticed that
Akane Tendo approached.

What was this? She was running along the fencetop! Being
pursued by some vile deviant in foreign clothes! Who had
done something horrible to her hair!

Ignoring the challengers, he dashed out of the schoolyard,
bokuto raised to strike.

"VILE WRETCH! YOU SHALL NEVER LIVE TO TERRORIZE THE HELPLESS
AKANE WITH YOUR DISGUSTING PERVERSIONS! YAAAAHHHH!!"

Ranma looked up at the boy in the traditional kendo garb
running at them. "Who is this idiot?"

Akane found something new to be annoyed about. "Helpless?!?"

Nabiki just smirked. "*Whose* perversions?"

Kuno slashed at Ranma's feet, but Ranma casually hopped over
the blade. A downward slice was easily sidestepped, with the
wooden blade cutting through steel fence, concrete sidewalk,
and asphalt pavement without slowing down. "Not bad, pal."
Ranma commented. <Obviously some ki training.>

"Vile wretch! I, the great Tatewaki Kuno, shall deliver
justice to you and protect the fair Akane from your hentai
intentions!" Kuno roared.

"SHUT UP!!" Akane said as her fist blind-sided Kuno. "I am
NOT <thud> weak! I am NOT <POW> helpless! And I do NOT
<WHAM> need protecting by YOU!!! <KA-POW>"

The last blow, delivered to a place that males do *not* like
being hit in, silenced Kuno, allowing him to slide to the
ground and rest his eyes (of course, any observer might
swear he'd just been pummeled into unconsciousness, but Kuno
himself would be the first to dispute that - as soon as he
woke up).

Akane felt good - she finally got to pummel somebody. Then
the adrenaline from her anger and the fight ran out - and
she hadn't eaten since last night.

If Kuno had known that Akane had fallen right on top of him,
he would have passed out.

 * * * * * * * * * *

The assembled Horde of Hentai's (as the female population of
Furinkan called them) and female observers watched as Nabiki
hauled Kuno to the nurse's office in a fireman's carry, and
the strange guy carried the semi-conscious Akane (who had
acquired this really stupid hairdo) right behind her.

The female populace wondered at this handsome guy with
Akane. Was he her boyfriend? He must be - she fought Kuno to
protect him! And look how tenderly he carries her! How did
they meet? Did they have sex? And what was with that silly
hair?

The male population was incensed. Akane Tendo had leapt to
this boy's defense against Kuno! This stranger was
overstepping his bounds! How dare he win Akane without
fighting her! And what was with that silly hair?

Nabiki noted the varied reactions among the crowd. She
smirked; she should do good business today.

 * * * * * * * * * *

Kuno woke in the nurse's office (as he did with monotonous
regularity), with the fair-but-mercenary Nabiki Tendo
applying a cold compress to his forehead.

"Ha! I routed the foul fiend that did so terrorize Akane! No
doubt she waits to shower her affections upon me in reward!"

At the sight of the drooling imbecile, Nabiki walloped him
with a nearby metal bowl. "No you didn't. He practically
ignored you, and Akane beat you unconscious."

"Nani?!" Kuno gasped. "How could this be? Wait- I know! She
was but concerned for my safety, so removed me from the
battle so that I would not be injured! Oh the selfless
compassion of Akane Tendo! Truly a thing of epic poetry!"

Nabiki shook her head in amazement. "It never ceases to
amaze me. No matter how hard reality forces itself on you,
you manage to find a way to thwart it."

"A true samurai can defeat any adversary!" he proclaimed.

Nabiki's eyes rolled. Without looking, she snagged some
aspirin from the medicine cabinet (She frequently needed
aspirin after talking to Kuno for any extended period of
time). "Don't you even want to know who that boy was?"

Kuno glanced over at Nabiki. "Such knowledge would be useful
indeed ... how much?"

"Five thousand."

"Credit?"

"The moon ain't blue."

Kuno snorted. "Very well - although the heavens weep at your
extortionate ways." Pulling the bills from his pouch, they
quickly vanished (as money does near Nabiki Tendo).

"His name's Ranma Saotome. He's Akane's new sensei, and one
of the heirs to Anything-Goes Martial Arts. When she is
trained, they will duel to see who inherits the title of
Master of Anything-Goes."

"And his lecherous pursuit this morning?"

"Training."

"Ah, I see."

"Really?" Nabiki said, her eyes big in shock.

"Of course!" Kuno proclaimed. "Under the guise of training,
this perverted molester seeks to force himself upon poor
Akane! Alas, the innocent girl, to be so used by this fiend
foul and unmentionable! But fear not! I, Tatewaki Kuno, the
mighty Blue Thunder, shall vanquish this hentai fiend and
save dear Akane before he violates her!"

Nabiki exhaled in relief. If Kuno had actually understood
what was going on, it would mean the end of a profitable
cash-cow (not to mention being a Sign of the Apocalypse).

"Tendo Nabiki! I shall require your services!" Kuno said
arrogantly as he stirred the ink.

 * * * * * * * * * *

In a nearby lounge, Akane woke up to the smiling face of
Doctor Tofu.

"OH! Tofu-sensei! What are you doing here??"

"Your sensei Ranma-san called me in when you fainted-"

"I did NOT faint! I - I was tired, and I hadn't had
breakfast-"

Tofu clucked his tongue. "You should take better care of
yourself, Akane-chan."

"It's all *HIS* fault!" she snarled. "That bastard Ranma!
Waking me up at dawn! Throwing me in the koi pond! Making me
look like an idiot!"

Tofu-sensei smiled fondly. "Yes, it makes me think of my
training, too. Running through the underbrush to improve
stealth and getting scratched up with nettles, then swimming
through the sea to toughen the skin and increase the pain
threshold. Such is the path of the True Martial Artist."

"HA!" Akane commented. "Such is the path of the bakayarou
hermaphrodite!"

Tofu smiled and gently patted her head. "Don't worry, dear.
one day you'll look back on all this and laugh. Now try to
rest. I'll talk to your teachers."

As he left, Akane fumed. Patting her on the head and
patronizing her, like she was a child! She'd get her revenge
on her 'sensei'!


Ranma was waiting in the hall for Tofu. He had just met the
local doctor, but had already become impressed with the
chiropractor (anyone who was good enough to sneak up on
*him* was worthy of respect).

"How is she, sensei?" Ranma asked.

"She's tired, and hadn't eaten since last night, not to
mention her adrenalin rush wearing off." He shook his head.
"For now, she needs rest and a small meal would be good. In
the longer term, she really should learn to manage her
temper. Perhaps your training will help her in that
respect."

Ranma gave a twisted smile. "Gonna get worse before it gets
better."

Tofu nodded. "Worried about her, Ranma-kun?"

"Yeah, well ... I was worried that I might have pushed her
too much. It's just the first day, y'know. And I never
trained anyone before."

"One reason this arrangement is a good idea." Tofu
acknowledged. "You will learn to be a proper sensei, with
your fathers - and myself, if you wish - to stop you from
doing anything too harmful."

"Actually, I'd like to talk to you about ... some things
later." The Curse of Jusenkyo was too much to bring up in a
hallway, but the doctor might know something useful.

"If you like. Akane-chan can show you to my clinic." His
face got serious. "One question, Ranma-kun... concerning her
ki training."

"I haven't started it yet. She has too much of the basics to
cover."

"I noticed your aura ... that you have trained in the manner
of the Touched Soul."

Ranma's face brightened in comprehension. "Oh, don't worry.
I won't use the Touched Soul technique except as a last
resort. I know other ki-development techniques I can try
first. Slower, but less ... extreme."

Tofu let his breath out. "Domo arigato, Ranma-kun. Akane is
a strong girl, but such a thing ..." He shuddered.

"You too, huh," Ranma said sympathetically.

Around a corner, Nabiki waited until Tofu-sensei had safely
departed. "Well-well. It seems the Big Bad Sensei has a soft
spot for little Akane?"

"She *is* my student." he said. "The doctor says she needs a
bit of rest and some food."

"I can get her bento. Oh, this is for you." Nabiki handed
him an envelope.

"Ranma opened and read the letter. "Hey - a challenge! From
that idiot Kuno! That's great! I didn't get a proper chance
to beat him before. Thanks, Nabiki."

"No problem. Kuno paid me a fee as a go-between." She put an
arm around him. "I know a lot about his fighting style and
tactics. I might even tell - if someone gives me a reason."
She looked up at him, her eyes big and dewy.

"No thanks." Ranma said, missing the veiled come-on
entirely. "There are ways of doing these things, y'know. It
wouldn't be right to pay for information like that."

<Hmmm...> she thought as she pulled back. <Either Ranma's a
perfect gentleman, he's gay, or he just didn't notice. And
most guys see come-ons even if they aren't there. And I
*know* he's not gay - the way he reacted at Akane's free
show this morning proves that. So he didn't notice.> A
notion occurred to her. <He was raised on the road with his
father. Could it be he doesn't know a subtle come-on when
one's directed at him?>

She went to get Akane's bento while Ranma went to check up
on Akane.

 * * * * * * * * * *

To Be Continued
