Red's Reviews: What Happened? 

Continuation Title: What Happened?
Author: Eric Oh
Status: Ongoing
Rating: 5
Review Requested by: Eric Oh

     This is the second review requested by others, and the first by the 
fanfic's author. Again, this fanfic is still underway, so the same restrictions 
apply as with Where Are We Now.
     When I first started reading this story, I hadn't read any of Eric Oh's 
works before, so I approached it with good-natured curiosity. I wasn't 
disappointed by what I found. On the other hand, I wasn't all that surprised 
either.
     Plot: Okay. The idea of Akane losing six years worth of her memory... hmm, 
tell me more. As I read on, it dawned on me that there wasn't much more. Later 
it was explained that a potion was responsible...okay, but how? And how would it 
be responsible for the memory loss? So far, these have not been explained, but 
that doesn't really count against this fanfic since its still early into the 
story.
     Characters and Characterization: These characters, especially Akane, seem 
to accept things as they come a trifle too easily. Also, they seem to have a 
knack for knowing just what's happening without any information. Nabiki 
automatically knew that Akane had lost six years of memories within three 
sentences. That's a little too quick for me to believe.
     There's a lot of anti-Genma written into this. For me to say that means 
there's a *lot*, since I love to see Genma get trashed once in a while. :) 
Nodoka is rather severe, but that's not too unusual.
     On the whole, the characters seem a little calmer than I'd think they would 
be normally, with only Akane being emotionally affected by the events contained 
in these two chapters.
     Story Mechanics: Not good. Within almost every paragraph there is at least 
one major grammatical error. At least. This, above all else, is what prompted me 
to give this story the rating I did. Bad grammar, spelling, and simple errors 
that most people would catch. Upon checking some of the other fanfics on his 
site, he mentioned that he did indeed have pre-readers. If these pre-readers 
didn't catch these errors, I'd seriously suggest getting new pre-readers. 
Quickly.
     Dialogue: Simplistic. Hard to believe. Much of this is because of the 
above-mentioned grammatical errors. However, some if it is just due to the fact 
that they aren't speaking very clearly.

    Summary:  This fanfic is an idea that might become something of an 
entertaining read, IF the author can clean up the grammatical errors and advance 
the plot a little further. As it is, it's tough to get through without 
scratching your head a bit to figure it out.