Cat Fist Fury



All the characters depicted here belong to their respective 

creators. I'm just using them to write a story!



                                Chapter Eight

                                Amazon Antics



     Cojiro, formally Ranma Saotome, calmly walked toward the 

gates of Himoto High. It had been a whole day since his little 

romp through Tokyo in his tiger form. Since that little incident, he 

had been very careful not to draw attention to himself. It had been 

relatively peaceful, aside from a few annoyances. 



The day before

     "COJIRO! COME FORTH AND FACE THE AWESOME 

MIGHT OF THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH!

     Ranma was a little more than surprised to see Kuno waiting for 

him at the front entrance of his school. The kendoist was more or 

less recovered from the pounding he had received from his fellow 

classmates, although, he still looked very stupid with that toupee. 

<He probably still hasn't grown his hair back!>

     "Aren't you supposed to be in class at your school right now?" 

Ranma asked as he dropped his books and assumed a stance.

     "Silence knave! You have incurred the wrath of the great 

Tatewaki Kuno! This affront must be avenged!"

     "Oh come on Kuno! I don't have time for this! I beat you fair 

and square! It's not my fault that you were stupid enough to have 

signed that contract! By the way, your hair is slipping!"

     Kuno angrily righted the hairpiece and said, "My skills as a 

great warrior is unprecedented! Only the lovely Akane Tendo has 

been able to best me! The thought that a lowly peasant such as you 

would be able to defeat me is totally absurd! It is clear that you 

had used dark sorcery on me that day! Only the lowest of the low 

would resort to such trickery! I shall smite thee and prove to all 

that I, Tatewaki Kuno is second to none!"

     The insane kendoist rushed forward with his bokken held high. 

Ranma sighed as he simply ducked under the blow and readied his 

'claws.'

     "QUICK SWIPE!"

     The motions of his hand were a mere blur to the crowds who 

were watching. Ranma calmly walked into the school building. 

Kuno was left standing with a glazed look on his eyes, his weapon 

still held over his head. For a long moment, all was silent. Then it 

happened.

     The wooden sword fell apart and landed on the pavement in six 

neat little pieces. Kuno's clothes and hairpiece followed suit, 

falling down in a pile of shredded cloth and hair. Finally, the 

insane bokken user fell face first on the ground, his body covered 

in small slashes and bruises. He landed with a dull thud and 

moaned as he faded into unconsciousness.

     As Ranma entered his class, Kai, who was at the moment, 

busily counting a large wad of yen notes greeted him.

     "Way to go Cojiro! Took out Kuno in less than a second!"

     "Not a problem." Ranma shrugged. "So what was that all about?"

     "Oh, well Kuno lost a lot of respect when you beat him so 

easily at the tournament. No one is taking him seriously as a 

fighter any more, and his usual bullying of the other boys doesn't 

work. I guess he really holds a grudge against you for beating him 

in one tenth of a second! He's also upset at the fact that everyone 

at Furinkan has his or her hair back, while he still has that buzz cut! 

The fights in the morning to date Akane have also stopped!"

     "Really?"

     "After they saw what you did to Kuno and their principal, they 

realized that the whole thing was just plain stupid! The fight Akane 

so you could date her sounded like something the principal would 

have made up."

     "I see. So things have quieted down since then?"

     "Well, not exactly. There's still the matter of that underwear 

thief that keeps dropping by every now and then."

     "Underwear thief?"

     Kai nodded. "Every now and then, some short pervert would 

come in and raid the girls' locker room. He'd still any 

undergarment that wasn't nailed down. Bras, panties, leotards, you 

name it! No one's been able to catch him since he moves so fast. 

He also seems to be some kind of great martial artist. He pulls out 

these fancy techniques and he likes to grope girls whenever he 

can. He's really annoying the girls at the school!"

     "A martial artist, eh?" Ranma became thoughtful.

     "Yep! He claims to be the Master of the Anything Goes School 

of Martial Arts! Goes by the name of Happosai." 

     "Anything Goes?"

     "That's right, the same school that Akane is learning. I hear that 

Happosai is staying at the Tendo Dojo, since Akane's father was 

one of his former students."

     "Hmmm so where is this Tendo Dojo?"

     "About a few blocks west of Furinkan. You'll find it near the 

place where Shampoo and Mousse are working at, the 

Nekohanten."



The present

     Ranma shook his head. Kuno wasn't the only annoyance he'd 

encountered. Due to another pest that attacked him after school, 

he was almost late for his new job.



After school, that same day

     "Cojiro! I will not allow you to take my Shampoo!"

     Ranma had long sensed Mousse's approach and dodged the 

barrage of chains and knives that were hurled his way. The 

projectiles harmlessly clattered to the pavement to his left as 

Ranma took a stance.

     "You again?! What's the big idea?"

     "Prepare to meet your end at the hands of a Master of Hidden 

Weapons!" Mousse threw his arms forward and charged at him 

with two curved swords that just appeared in his hands.

     Of course, Mousse was severely outmatched. Before he could 

take a dozen steps, Ranma had already come up to him and 

reduced his blades to fragments with fast swipes of his 'claws,' 

which glowed with a blue light.

     "RIPCLAW SLASH!"

     Mousse was shocked to see his steel blades cut into pieces 

within an instant! He didn't even get a chance to recover as Ranma 

sent a hard, right cross to his chin. The blow sent him flying back 

twelve feet and he impacted heavily against a concrete wall, 

causing a large depression to form. Mousse moaned in pain as his 

body crumpled to the ground.

     Ranma stood back with his arms folded. "Would you mind 

telling me what this is all about?"

     Mousse didn't answer. Ranma then looked closer and noted 

that his opponent was in no condition to answer for a while. Even 

though he had pulled his punch, the ponytailed martial artist had 

hit Mousse hard enough to render him unconscious.

     <Damn! I hit him too hard! Looks like I've gotten a lot stronger 

since I fought against someone! Shoot! I don't have much time! I 

can't leave him here, but I have to get to work soon! Good thing 

Kai told me where the Nekohanten is!>

     With hardly any significant effort, Ranma picked up his fallen 

opponent and slung him over his shoulder. He then sighed as he 

ran toward the Cat Caf.



The present

     <Stupid Mousse! Why did he attack me? What did he mean by 

'taking his Shampoo away from him?' He was bad enough, but that 

old woman I met at the restaurant really put me on edge!>



That day

     Cologne was very irritated. Mousse had disappeared and the 

afternoon crowds were coming in. Shampoo was still out making a 

delivery and the elderly matriarch was left alone to tend to the 

customers. She fully intended to give Mousse a sound beating the 

moment he walked through the door. When he did appear however, 

she realized that the nearsighted martial artist wouldn't feel a 

thing in his condition. Her expression then brightened and she 

grinned when she saw who was carrying him.

     Cologne watched as Ranma moved with sure, steady steps. His 

footsteps were light and well paced. His movements bespoke of 

grace and control, yet hinted at enormous strength and ferocity. 

Most of all, his chi energy was extraordinarily strong and focused. 

Conclusion: A prime catch! <Aaaah! So THIS is Cojiro! He is far 

more impressive looking in person! My great-grandchild knew 

what she was doing when she chose this one for her husband! This 

is too good an opportunity to miss!>

     Quickly smothering her expression and taking on a more, 

friendly attitude, the Elder hopped on her staff to greet her future 

son-in-law. 

     "Greetings young one! Welcome to the Cat Caf!"

     Ranma was a bit surprised to face the source of the huge chi 

energy that he detected when he neared the establishment. His 

sixth sense already put him on alert, and his hearing and sense of 

smell were probing the area for any strange sounds or odors. He 

stared at the diminutive woman before him for a moment longer 

before remembering his manners. Noting that he was in a Chinese 

restaurant, he decided to respond in kind.

     <"Good day to you. I am here to return something that I think 

may belong to you."> Ranma gestured to the still unconscious 

form of Mousse.

     Cologne looked at Mousse and made a sound of disgust. "No 

need for you to speak Chinese. I am quite fluent in Japanese. 

However, I must say that your Mandarin is quite good! In any case, 

yes, that idiot does work here! You may put him in the second 

room on your right upstairs." She gestured to a flight of stairs 

behind her.

     "Thank you." Ranma nodded as he went up to the second floor. 

A few minutes later, Ranma returned, minus Mousse's form over 

his shoulder. Looking down at his watch, he then addressed 

Cologne. "Well, I'm afraid I must be going now. Thank you and 

goodbye." Ranma turned to leave.

     "Just a moment Cojiro!"

     Ranma stopped as he turned to face Cologne again. "How do 

you know my name?"

     Cologne smiled as she replied, "My great-granddaughter has 

told me about you. I also saw a videotape of you during the 

tournament."

     "Oh." <I guess Kai made a lot of money selling those tapes of 

me in action!> "Excuse me, exactly who is your great-

granddaughter?"

     "You know her as Shampoo."

     "You're her great-grandmother?"

     "I am. My name is Cologne."

     <First Shampoo, then Mousse and now Cologne. It figures!> 

"Pleased to meet you. Now if you'll excuse me, I really do need to 

get going."

     "If you can spare a few minutes, I wish to ask you a few 

questions."

     "Well"

     "Please, humor an old woman, won't you?"

     Ranma looked intensely at the figure before him. Despite her 

size and advanced age, Ranma was still wary. The chi in her body 

was even more focused than his was and bespoke of great skill. 

His senses were confirming what he had already guessed about 

her. This was someone in which one should be careful not to 

anger. Cautiously, he sat down at a nearby booth. "Well, all right, 

but just for a few minutes."

     Cologne nodded as she took a seat opposite to him. "I must say, 

your fighting style is very impressive! In all my three hundred 

years, I have never seen anyone even come close to controlling 

the Neko Ken on a conscious level!"

     "You know about the Cat Fist?" Ranma became even more wary.

     Cologne noted his uneasiness and replied, "You don't get to be 

my age without knowing about the dreaded Cat Fu! I am also aware 

of the training! Wrap the trainee in fish sausage and throw him 

into a pit of starving cats! From what I see of your chi, you have 

already gone through that process! So tell me, who was the one 

who trained you in this?"

     Ranma nodded as his expression darkened. His thoughts of his 

father were not pleasant ones. "My father was the one who did that 

to me and I have never forgiven him since that time! He was so 

intent on making me learn that technique that he failed to read the 

rest of the training manual!"

     The Elder nodded. "Yes, I am well aware of the side effects! 

The trainee's mental state becomes partially unbalanced as he 

develops a fear of cats! The technique itself becomes submerged 

into the person's subconscious and only emerges when the fear 

reaches its peak. When that occurs, anyone within his immediate 

vicinity becomes endangered as the person is reduced to a feral 

state! The trainee starts acting like a maddened cat and will attack 

anything or anyone that he perceives as a threat! Provided of 

course that he survives the training at all! It is because of this that 

no one has tried to master this skill for the last fifty years or so! 

Which brings us to you"

     "And your point is?"

     "You are quite possibly the only person in the world who has 

truly mastered the Cat Fist without suffering any mental 

instability! Not only that, but from what I saw on the videotape, 

you have improved upon it and have now created a new fighting 

style based on the original technique! You must be a very 

extraordinary martial artist to have been able to accomplish this!"

     <More extraordinary than you realize!> Ranma got the distinct 

feeling that Cologne wanted something from him and was trying 

to keep him at the restaurant. The ponytailed martial artist was 

feeling like a trapped animal and he didn't like it.

     Cologne smiled as she sensed someone approaching the 

building. Shampoo was returning from her deliveries. It was 

perfect! Shampoo would arrive and give Cojiro the Kiss of 

Marriage, thereby validating her claim on him! She more than 

ready to start calling him son-in-law! 

     It was then that she suddenly tensed up as she sensed a large 

amount of chi energy. Someone else was approaching the 

Nekohanten. Cologne frowned as she realized who it was. The one 

person who could ruin her plans!

     <Mascara! Blast it! She is leading her husband-hunting group 

here! Her senses are as sharp as my own and she would surely 

have her group challenge Cojiro! He is far too valuable! As much 

as I hate to let such a fighter slip away, I have to make certain that 

Mascara doesn't learn about him before Shampoo gives him the 

Kiss!> Quickly smothering her displeasure, Cologne smiled and 

said, "Oh my! It is getting late and I must prepare for the evening 

crowds! I apologize for detaining you."

     "Uh No problem!" Ranma replied. He too had tensed up when 

his sixth sense alerted him to Mascara's group. With a quick bow, 

he exited the Cat Caf and was gone from sight. Ten seconds later, 

the door opened and Shampoo entered.

     "Great-grandmother! Shampoo back!"

     A mere two seconds later, there was a knock at the door and 

Shampoo went to answer. Her eyes widened as she saw who it was 

and immediately bowed. <"Greetings Honored Elder Mascara!">

     Cologne could only fume in silence at the thought of coming 

so close to catching such prime husband material for her great-

granddaughter. 



The present

     Ranma couldn't think of any reason as to why the old woman 

had wanted him to stay that day, but he was relieved to have 

escaped. However, he was still a bit confused. He had no idea just 

who had arrived at the Cat Caf after he had left, but the chi energy 

signatures were very familiar. Sighing to himself, he continued on 

his way.

     At Himoto High, another scene of great importance was taking 

place. Kai was busy selling information to a group of very 

interested females.

     "And you say that this Cojiro is the school's greatest fighter?"

     "You bet!" Kai replied as he regarded the diminutive woman 

before him. She reminded the hustler of the old woman he had 

seen at the Cat Caf. In fact, aside from the blue robes she wore 

and her hair tied up in an elaborate braid, she would have been 

mistaken as Cologne's twin sister. "In any case, Cojiro beat every 

one of his opponents at No Holds Barred Tournament and won our 

school's first victory in a long time! I still have several copies of 

his fights on tape if you're interested! Better hurry though, these 

won't last! Ten thousand yen!"

     Mascara nodded. "Thank you but no. We have heard tales of this 

person ever since we came to Tokyo. We would like to meet with 

him and see if he is really all that you say he is."

     "Oh he's all that and a lot more, I guarantee it!"

     Ranma was a bit on edge when he had neared the school 

grounds. His danger sense began to give off a slight warning 

sensation and he started sensing familiar chi energies. When he 

looked up, he saw something that made him halt in his tracks.

     <No wonder those chi signatures were so familiar! Amazons!> 

Ranma's mind went back to a year ago, a few weeks after he had 

received his altered form. He recognized all the young girls who 

were with Mascara. He was quite familiar with each of them, as 

they were part of the groups who had been hunting him for a 

trophy!

     Conditioner had long blond hair that was done up into two 

ponytails and green eyes. Her build was slender and athletic. She 

wore a bright blue tunic and matching silk pants with sandals. Her 

waist had a red sash wrapped around it. Her face was heart shaped 

and she was downright cute! She carried a Chinese broadsword on 

her back and had a serious look on her face.

     Bubbles had long red hair and her eyes were blue. Her figure 

was somewhat more voluptuous than Conditioner's, with her chest 

fuller and her hips more curved. She wore an outfit that was 

similar to Conditioner's, but it was colored black. She also 

sported a pair of shoulder guards and carried a spear.

     Brush and Comb were near-identical twins. They were about an 

inch shorter than Bubbles and each wore a short, white, silk dress 

that barely cleared their hips, and red sandals. They had slender 

bodies and seemed to be about a year younger than Ranma. The 

only ways to tell them apart were from their hair color and the 

weapons they carried. Brush had black hair while her sibling was 

ash blonde. Brush had on a bandoleer of throwing daggers and 

shurikens, while her sister carried a bow and a quiver of arrows. 

Each sister also had a large knife strapped to her right thigh.

     Ranma's memories of these female warriors were not pleasant 

ones. Conditioner had tried to catch him several times with 

ingenious traps. One time, he had almost fallen into a covered pit 

lined with stakes! Bubbles was no better as she had made many 

attempts to have his head displayed on the business end of her 

spear. His noggin had been used for target practice by Brush's 

throwing weapons and he had been introduced to the fastest archer 

in China before. Comb was very capable of launching a hundred 

arrows in rapid succession like a machine gun! She was deadly 

accurate and could pick off a gnat from three hundred meters! 

Fortunately for Ranma, his tiger form was tough enough to 

withstand arrows. Then again, who knew what surprises the archer 

had in store for him since their last encounter.

     Ranma backed up against the wall and began to take deep 

calming breaths, taught to him by some Shaolin priests during his 

travels through China. When he had reached a level of serenity, he 

carefully peeked around the corner and watched. His friend Kai 

was negotiating something with an extremely aged woman that 

reminded him of Cologne. After a few minutes, the Amazons bid 

him goodbye and then left the schoolyards via leaping over the 

wall. The Neko Ken fighter let off a sigh of relief and continued 

his walk to his first class.

     Sometime later, Ranma was busy practicing with his friend 

Shang in the gymnasium. He agreed to help the Chinese boy with 

improving his Kung Fu skills. As they sparred, the two engaged in 

conversation.

     "Hey Shang! You're getting better!" Ranma dodged the punch 

and countered with a leg sweep.

     "Thank you! I train harder since tournament!" Shang leaped over 

the sweep and tried a high kick. "Of course, I still not as good as 

you! You even beat Akane Tendo!"

     Ranma dodged the kick and said, "Well, to tell you truth, she's 

not as good as people say she is. In fact, I would say that she's only 

a little better than the boys she fought every morning."

     "You think beating up forty boys every day isn't good?"

     "Not really. I could do that in my sleep. Besides, the boys she 

fought against had very little or no skill at all in the martial arts. 

They were more or less a bunch of brawlers. I saw one of Kai's 

videotapes of her morning fights and I'm not really impressed."

     "You not?"

     "Nope. She may study the Anything Goes Martial Arts, but she's 

nowhere near as good as she thinks she is."

     "What you mean? She supposed to be best in Nerima."

     "Her skills are highly overrated. She thinks she's the best 

because she's never gone up against a better opponent. From what 

I saw at the tournament, she had the least amount of skill of her 

team. They all had far better ability."

     "You sure? I mean, she beat up Kuno every day."

     "That's because he doesn't go full out against her. I saw the 

videotape and noticed a lot of openings that he could have used to 

take advantage of her. Kai tells me that Kuno doesn't want to hurt 

'his love.' If you ask me, he should give her a couple of good 

whacks to knock her back down to Earth!"

     "But the stories"

     "Are just stories Shang. I've learned from my trip through China 

that you should never take anything at face value or believe 

everything that you hear. Shampoo, Mousse, Ryoga, Ukyo and 

Kuno are all better than she is. It's just that they've haven't 

challenged Akane to a match. I've had Kai do a little research 

about them and I found out that Ryoga doesn't want to go against 

her because he doesn't want to hurt her, same as Kuno. Shampoo 

and Mousse are on a special visa and fighting against fellow 

students is frowned on. Ukyo didn't have anything against Akane. 

Since they all never had to prove that they were better than she is, 

Akane just assumed that she was the best. After meeting with her 

yesterday, I found out that she was nothing more than a self-

centered, spoiled brat who just couldn't face up to the truth that 

someone was better than she was. Heck, she didn't even say thank 

you when I gave her that hair tonic!"

     "So Akane isn't the best?"

     "Not by a long shot! I think that even you could beat her!"

     "Really?" Shang's confidence began to rise.

     "Sure! I'm willing to bet that if you trained enough, you could 

become better than her with no problem! I'll help you train if you 

like."

     "Thanks!" Shang launched a spin kick.

     "By the way," Ranma blocked the kick. "I need to ask you a few 

things about the Joketsuzoku you told me about before."

     "What you want to know?" Shang found himself forced back by 

Ranma's triple strike combination.

     "I've been having some problems with them lately. I got 

attacked by Mousse yesterday and I met up with Shampoo's great-

grandmother."

     Shang suddenly stopped and took a neutral stance. Ranma saw 

this and also stopped. The Kung Fu fighter looked at his friend 

with surprise. "You meet up with Cologne?"

     "You know her?"

     "Yes. I go to Nekohanten many times for dinner. She is very 

strong fighter! She trained Shampoo. But why Mousse attack you? 

You no after Shampoo, so he no have reason to hate you."

     Ranma nodded. "That's what I thought! Just after school, he 

came out of nowhere and tried to cut me to pieces! He accused 

me of trying to steal his Shampoo. I don't get it! I mean, I'd 

understand if he was mad at me for beating him at the tournament, 

but I have absolutely no interest in Shampoo."

     "That very strange."

     "When I knocked him out, I couldn't just leave him lying on the 

street, so I had to carry him back to the Cat Caf. That was when I 

met up with Cologne. Let me tell you, she gave me an industrial 

case of the willies!"

     "What you mean?"

     "She knew about the Neko Ken and how the original technique 

was done. She I don't know, but she acted like she wanted 

something from me. Then today, a group of Amazons came to the 

school this morning, asking about me."

     "How you know they Amazons?"

     "They came to Kai for the information and he told me about 

them during lunch. Now what I want to know is, just what do they 

want from me?"

     "Shang not sure. Very little known about Joketsuzoku. Only 

reason Shang knows about them is because he have very distant 

cousin who is Amazon. Never met with Cousin Gel, but she once 

send him Book of Amazon Tribal Law, just in case Shang ever 

decide to visit her in village. Not looked at it yet! I get you book if 

you like."

     "Thanks." Ranma and Shang then continued on with their 

sparring.

     Another day had passed. To Ranma's displeasure, Kuno had 

shown up again to challenge him. The resulting fight lasted one 

second, and the Blue Thunder ended up eating dirt. His clothes 

were only good for cleaning rags and his bokken had been reduced 

to toothpicks.

     Mousse had also shown up to attack him. He once again 

shouted out, "I will not allow you to take my Shampoo!" One Tiger 

Claw Frenzy later and Mousse's weapons and body were shredded 

like newspaper.

     At the moment, Ranma was walking home with his head in a 

book. Shang had let him borrow his copy of the Amazon Book of 

Tribal Law. It wasn't until he started reading the third chapter that 

he began to have a sinking feeling.

     <Wow! These laws are really strange! A bit extreme too! In the 

event that an outsider defeats an Amazon, and if that outsider is a 

woman, the Amazon must give her the Kiss of Death and kill 

without delay. However, if that outsider is a man>

     Ranma never got to finish the sentence as his danger sense 

suddenly alerted him of something coming right at him. Ranma 

dropped the book, ducked his head, and rolled to his right. He 

looked up and his eyes widened as he saw ten arrows imbedded in 

a tree that he had been standing in front of a moment before. 

Looking in the direction of where the arrows had been fired from, 

he saw Combwas standing on a nearby roof top and was preparing 

to loose another volley. It was then that Ranma's sixth sense 

warned him of something else. He leaned back, just as twenty 

throwing stars streaked past, missing his chest by inches. The 

sharp projectiles imbedded themselves into the wall of a store.

     Ranma didn't know why he was suddenly being attacked, but 

now was not the time to think about it. Brush suddenly appeared 

twenty feet behind him and let loose a flight of throwing daggers. 

Ranma's hands blurred into action.

     "TIGER CLAW FRENZY!"

     Each of the knives was successfully deflected as Ranma used 

his 'claws' to knock them away by striking their handles. Brush's 

eyes widened as Ranma moved fast enough to make the Chestnut 

Fist look like slow motion. She readied another volley, just as 

Ranma closed the distance between them and dived forward. He 

made a roll, then used a handspring to launch himself up and over 

her. It was at that time that Comb let off another flight of arrows. 

At the same time, Brush threw a dozen shurikens.

     Ranma moved with enough speed to dodge the two attacks, and 

the projectiles missed each other by millimeters. Comb and Brush 

screamed, as they each became a target for her sister's weapons. 

Comb was driven back and found herself pinned to a billboard. 

Brush found herself stuck to another tree by her sister's arrows!

     Ranma landed in a fighting stance and had his senses on alert. 

Although Brush and Comb were incapacitated for the moment, he 

could still feel that he was still in danger. His feelings were 

confirmed when Conditioner and Bubbles suddenly charged at him 

from the shadows of a nearby alley.

     "Whoa!" Ranma barely managed to dodge the combined thrusts 

of the sword and spear. Leaping back to get more fighting room, 

he took on a ready stance. He noted that his assailants were also 

taking on battle stances. "Who are you? Why are you attacking 

me?"

     Conditioner smiled as she answered, "We are best fighters of 

the Joketsuzoku and we come here to challenge you!"

     "Challenge me? But" Ranma never got to finish as Bubbles 

charged forward with her spear. Ranma sidestepped and retaliated.

     "QUICK SWIPE!"

     Bubbles eyes widened as she saw her weapon get cut to pieces. 

Before she knew it, Ranma grabbed her arm and used her forward 

momentum to catapult her into a mailbox. Her head slammed into 

the metal with a dull clang and she slid down to the pavement.

     Conditioner thought this was an excellent opportunity to attack 

and slashed at Ranma with her sword. Ranma already knew she was 

coming and leapt over her attack. While still in the air, he jabbed 

forward and hit several pressure points on the Amazon's arms, 

causing her to drop her weapon. With a twist, he lashed out with a 

foot and kicked her in the head. Now ordinarily, Ranma is usually 

hesitant about hitting girls, but his life was in danger at the 

moment and these girls were playing for keeps.

     As Conditioner was sent sprawling, Ranma landed and picked 

up her sword, then whirled about, bringing up the weapon to 

deflect a combined barrage of arrows and shurikens. Comb and 

Brush had freed themselves and had gotten to the place where 

Ranma was engaging Conditioner and Bubbles. It was only thanks 

to his sixth sense and enhanced reflexes that saved Ranma from 

being turned into a pincushion.

     Bubbles moaned as she regained consciousness. Seeing that 

Ranma was now facing off against the twins, Reaching into he 

sash, she pulled out a small cylinder that was about eight inches 

long and about an inch and a half diameter. Pressing a small switch 

on the side, the device telescoped into a staff that was six feet 

long and at one end a spear point popped out. She then got up and 

took a position behind Ranma.

     On the roof of a nearby building, two figures were watching the 

battle with interest. Cologne and Mascara each looked at Ranma 

and assessed his fighting skills.

     "Very impressive! I can see why you did not tell me about this 

one, Cologne."

     "Yes, Cojiro is indeed a prime catch!" Cologne agreed. 

"However, since he defeated Shampoo first, I would like to 

exercise her rights to be the one to give him the Kiss of 

Marriage!"

     "You are forgetting yourself Cologne!" Mascara countered. 

"Just because Shampoo has already been defeated by this one, that 

does not make him her husband! She has yet to give him the kiss! 

Right now, he is still fair game to any of the others!"

     "Cojiro WILL be my son-in-law!" Cologne affirmed. "Shampoo 

will be here shortly to rectify that little oversight!" She was a bit 

irritated that Mascara had found out about Ranma and had sent her 

group after him. Her plans to induct Ranma into the tribe hinged 

on Shampoo getting him. Ranma was too good a prize to miss! 

However, Mascara was her rival and would love to upstage her.

     "We shall see." Mascara said as she turned her gaze back tom 

the battle.

     Seeing that this was no ordinary foe they were up against, 

Comb decided to up the ante. Raising her bow, she notched an 

arrow and began concentrating. The arrow began glowing with a 

weird red light and Ranma braced himself.

     "DRAGON FIRE ARROW!"

     The fiery projectile was launched and screamed toward him 

like miniature comet. Ranma ducked and evaded it. The arrow 

whizzed by and struck an empty store. It crashed through the front 

window, and an instant later, the front part of the empty building 

exploded. The blast took out the front wall and looked as if a gas 

main had blown up.

     Ranma's eyes widened as he saw the destruction caused by a 

single, chi-powered arrow. He didn't have time however to think 

about it as his sixth sense then screamed in alert.

     "SHOOTING STARS!"

     The Neko Ken fighter turned to see Brush hurl two dozen 

throwing stars that glowed with a blue light. After seeing what one 

chi-powered arrow could do, Ranma was not eager to see what this 

new attack would do to him. Raising his sword to deflect the 

incoming missiles, the ponytailed martial artist was quite shocked 

when the stars suddenly emitted energy beams. The blasts began to 

fire out like laser beams as the throwing stars spun.

     Small potholes were rendered into the pavement as Ranma 

dodged each beam. He dropped the sword in order to get more 

maneuverability. After the last of the stars flew by, Ranma looked 

behind him and saw Conditioner pick up her sword. The four 

Amazons surrounded the Neko Ken fighter, then charged forward 

at the same time.

     The warrior women began throwing punches, kicks stabs and 

slashes. Ranma dodged each one of their attacks. The Amazons 

were astounded by the incredible display of skill and speed. Not 

one of them could get a good solid hit on him. 

     Ranma had just about enough of being attacked for no reason. 

<To heck with it! It was bad enough that Mousse almost made me 

late for work the last time!> Ranma began to power up his battle 

aura.

     The four Amazons saw the build up in power and then stopped 

in their attacks. They quickly put some distance between 

themselves and their target, just as Ranma exploded into action. 

Ranma let off a monstrous roar and attacked.

     Conditioner was first to fall as Ranma's hands glowed with a 

blue light. With a single swipe, he reduced her sword into metal 

fragments, then followed through with a fast four hit combination. 

The blonde groaned as she was hit in the abdomen and then was 

rendered unconscious as Ranma hit a pressure point on the back 

of her neck.

     Bubbles wasn't sure how it happened, but she suddenly found 

herself being hit over her head with the butt of her own spear. She 

went down like a bag of cement. Ranma then pivoted on one foot 

and threw the spear at Comb.

     The archer swerved to dodge then realized too late that the 

spear was a diversion. Ranma leapt up and delivered a sidekick, 

which plowed into her midsection. Comb was sent flying 

backward. Her head then smacked into a street sign and she slid 

down.

     Brush threw another barrage of energized throwing stars, but 

Ranma was ready for them. Cupping his hands before him, he 

focused his chi and fired.

     "RAGING TIGER BOLT!"

     The blast of chi energy raced toward Brush, just as her 

throwing stars began shooting off their energy beams. Ranma 

dodged each of the beams as his own attack struck Brush in the 

chest, sending her down to the pavement. Ranma then rushed 

forward and used the sleeper pressure point to knock out his last 

opponent.

     It was then that he sensed the approach of someone else. 

Turning around, he saw a purple blur darting toward him. Ranma 

stood at the ready when the figure landed. His expression showed 

surprise as he saw who it was.

     "Shampoo?"

     "Hello Airen!" She smiled as she began walking toward him.

     "Airen?" Ranma's eyes became the size of dinner plates as he 

recognized what the word meant. "Why are you calling me 

husband? What's going on?"

     "You are Shampoo's Airen!" Shampoo leapt forward, intending 

to use the momentary distraction to glomp onto him and give him 

the Kiss of Marriage.

     Ranma however, was still too fast for her. Even though his 

brain was still trying to figure out what was happening, his body 

reacted on automatic. Seeing Shampoo's sudden advance as an 

attack, he leapt high and cleared a height of thirty feet. The purple-

haired Amazon found herself clutching air. She looked up and saw 

the Ranma was now perched on a street lamp.

     "Why you run away Airen?"

     Ranma became very nervous at the day's events and said, "Will 

someone tell me just what the hell is going on?! And will you stop 

calling me"

     "Cojiro! I will not let you have Shampoo!"

     Ranma leapt off the post, just as a huge barrage of chains with 

blades attached sliced though his perch. Ranma managed a double 

flip and landed on his feet. He then turned to his new assailant. 

Mousse was standing before him with rage in his eyes.

     Shampoo stopped short and became very annoyed at the sudden 

appearance of her unwanted suitor. "Aiya! What stupid Mousse 

doing here?! Go away!"

     "I will not let you have her Cojiro!" Mousse snarled as he 

charged toward him with a bladed staff that he made appear out of 

the sleeves of his robe. Ranma braced himself for another 

confrontation, when Shampoo suddenly appeared in front of him, 

then delivered a hard uppercut to Mousse's chin. The myopic 

magician went flying.

     Ranma was so startled to see Shampoo come to his defense, 

that he dropped his guard for a microsecond. That was all 

Shampoo needed to turn around and grab onto him in a mega-

glomp that strained even his iron ribs. Shampoo smiled as she 

looked adoringly into his eyes and leaned forward. She closed her 

eyes and

     WHAM!!!

     Shampoo received a hard blow to the cheek and was sent 

sprawling, releasing her hold on Ranma. The Neko Ken fighter 

turned and saw that Conditioner had regained consciousness and 

was smiling at him, while rubbing her fist. She then reached up and 

framed his face with her hands. She then stood on her tiptoes and 

brought his head down toward her lips

     "Oh my darling Shampoo!"

     "Erk!"

     Ranma stood dumfounded as Mousse grabbed Conditioner 

from behind. The Amazon was clearly miffed that the near-sighted 

martial artist had once again grabbed the wrong person. Mousse 

had lost his glasses after Shampoo had knocked him away and 

assumed that the girl near Ranma was his beloved. Conditioner 

turned herself in Mousse's arms and pushed him away while 

shouting, "I NOT SHAMPOO!" She then emphasized her remark 

by a savage kick to Mousse's groin.

     "YEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWW!"

     Ranma scratched his head in confusion. Just what was going 

on? Before he had time to consider anything else, something 

knocked into him from behind, driving him to the pavement. 

Silently cursing himself for being caught flatfooted, he looked 

over his shoulder and saw that Brush and Comb had rejoined the 

fight.

     Comb smiled as she leaned over and said in a husky voice, 

"Now you come home with Comb, yes? But first, is proper for 

wife to give handsome and strong husband Kiss of"

     "Hey! Why you give him kiss and not Brush?!" Comb's sister 

said angrily. "He belong to me!"

     "What you mean? He is Comb's Airen! No talk back to older 

sister!"

     "What you mean you older?! I older than you!"

     "No you not!"

     "Yes I am!"

     "Not!"

     "Am!"

     The twins began a heated argument and it wasn't long before 

blows were being traded. The two brawling siblings rolled off 

Ranma as he stood up and stared in amazement. A few minutes 

ago, these Amazons were trying to kill him! Now they were trying 

to marry him?

     Shampoo shook her head to clear it. Conditioner knew how to 

hit. When she looked up and saw that her rivals were busy at the 

moment, she took advantage of the situation and rushed toward 

Ranma. However, she fell flat on her face when something 

grabbed her right ankle. She looked down and saw a battered and 

bruised Mousse clutching at her foot.

     "S-Sh-Shampoo!" Mousse moaned.

     <Now is worse time for stupid Mousse to finally grab right 

person!> The Amazon got up, hauled out one of her war maces and 

swung.

     CLANG!!!

     Conditioner was feeling proud of herself after pounding 

Mousse. She then saw the object of her affection standing near 

where the twins were brawling. She decided not look a gift horse 

in the mouth and rushed to claim her prize. However, just as she 

got within ten feet of Ranma, she heard a sickening voice.

     "SHAMPOO!"

     Conditioner turned and saw Mousse's body head toward her 

like a missile. The near-sighted Hidden Weapons master collided 

with her and the two of them became sprawled on the pavement. 

Shampoo dusted herself off and smiled sweetly at the two. 

"Conditioner can have stupid Mousse! Shampoo get Cojiro!" 

     This was not to be however as she turned to face her intended. 

She instead found herself facing Bubbles, who had finally 

recovered. The red haired girl glared at Shampoo and said, "I no let 

you take Airen without fight!"

     "What you talking? Cojiro belong to Shampoo!"

     In less than a second, the two were engaged in a fight that was 

similar to Brush and Comb's. The fights became engulfed into 

clouds of dust, which eventually began moving toward each other. 

In less than a minute, the two brawls combined into one big free-

for-all.

     Ranma stared in disbelief at the entire spectacle and decided 

that he had enough of this madness. He began walking away from 

the scene, stopping only to pick up the book he had dropped when 

thewhole mess started. However, just as he was about to get out of 

sight, two figures dropped to the street in front of him and blocked his way.

     "And just where do you think you're going?" Mascara said as 

she put forth her staff.

     "That's right sonny boy. You can't just walk away from this." 

Cologne duplicated her rival's stance and waited.

     Ranma recognized Cologne. "I don't see what this has to do 

with me." Ranma took a stance and gestured to the fight behind 

him. "They're too busy fighting each other and I really don't have 

time for this!"

     "No son-in-law, you are going to remain here until Shampoo or 

one of the others gives you the Kiss of Marriage!" Cologne said in 

an even tone.

     "Son-in-law? Kiss of Marriage? What are you?" It was then 

that Ranma recalled the Kiss of Death Law. "Wait a minute! I just 

read about the Kiss of Death Law and I know what would happen if 

an Amazon is defeated by a female outsider. Are you saying that 

the Kiss of Marriage means?"

     Cologne nodded. "That's right son-in-law! If a male outsider 

defeats an Amazon, then she must make him her husband with the 

Kiss of Marriage! Shampoo would have succeeded had Mousse 

and the others had not interfered!"

     "So what you're saying is that if none of them gives me the 

Kiss of Marriage, then it's not really official, now is it?" Ranma 

tensed up as he prepared to attack.

     Mascara and Cologne reluctantly nodded as they also tensed 

up.

     "Well then, I have no choice." Ranma began powering up his 

battle aura again and the two elders braced themselves. Just as the 

two put forth their canes in a stabbing motion toward his chest, 

Ranma let loose his technique.

     "FINAL ATTACK! RUN AWAY!!!"

     Before the startled eyes of Cologne and Mascara, Ranma made 

an about-face and then ran off into the distance, leaving a huge 

trail of dust behind him. With Ranma's enhanced strength, stamina 

and speed, he was out of sight in less than a nanosecond. The two 

matriarches were still staring in disbelief with their canes 

extended as the fights between the Amazons began to die down.

     Ranma was breathing heavily as he walked into the coffee shop 

where he worked. His new boss, a kindly old man by the name of 

Korin Sato, greeted him.

     "Hello Cojiro! Good to see that you made it on time!" He then 

noticed Ranma breathing hard. "What's the matter Cojiro? You 

look so tired."

     Ranma waved it off as he took a seat to catch his breath. "It's 

nothing that you need to be worried about. It's a personal problem 

of mine. I'm just having some difficulties with a few people right 

now."

     "Oh? So what kind of problems?" The old man then smiled 

knowingly as he thought about the trials that all teenagers went 

through. "Money problems? Zits? School? Girl problems?"

     Ranma's head snapped up at that last statement. He was silent 

for a long time before giving his boss a rueful smile. "You could 

say that I'm having some girl problems."



To be continued



Author's Notes

     This rewrite was mainly to show that Ranma does not have to 

eventually fall in love with Akane. Akane lovers may argue that 

they are destined to be together, but I really don't agree. The 

Ranma in the original series had to endure Akane's abuses and save 

her countless times. Akane has not given as much as Ranma has. 

The added dialogue between Ranma and Shang was inspired from 

the Mirrors Multiplied series in which Ranma does point out that 

Akane was self-centered. She believed that she could master any 

skill, just because she thought she could. Hence her atrocious 

cooking, her inept sewing and her other domestic skills. She 

doesn't realize the steps needed to become a master and she really 

can't accept the truth, so she just vents her anger on the nearest 

object. What she cannot master or fit into her own world, she just 

pummels into the ground or just ignores it.

     In my Dual Destinies story, I have given Akane more leeway, 

but my other stories will reflect how I think Ranma would 

interpret her. Just remember that he is no longer being pressured 

by his father or Soun to marry her. He is not living with the 

Tendos. He is totally on his own and therefore will follow his own 

instincts. 



