10.) His mother is the Beastmaster.

9.) He was exposed to Martina's ancestors as a small child.

8.) He was purposefully dropped on his head as a baby.

7.) Country music.

6.) The shock of discovering that - gasp! - he has no eyes.

5.) His mother killed his imaginary friend.

4.) He discovered his mother's stash of dirty pictures of Phil.

3.) Lina. Need we say more?

2.) He was kicked out of school for claiming that the capital of Bangledesh was a secret.

1.) His mother kept too many secrets from him.