Their arguing had gotten very intense over the past few weeks. The frustration of being unable to gather all of the Seishi and not calling upon the Seiryuu had aggravated Nakago to no end. Those around him were feeling his anger. Soi especially. She had always felt that because she was the closest to Nakago he would confide in her and trust her, but recently she had also become a target. Soi tolerated Nakago's moods and outbursts because she knew she could soothe him almost into submission. But even that wasn't working as well as it used to. The "making up" between fights, as she convinced herself it was, wasn't always happening. Nakago didn't need her to "boost" his ki after every battle, and this started to worry Soi.

After one particularly grueling skirmish with the Suzaku Seishi, Nakago had returned to the Seiryuu encampment in a dangerous mood. Tomo, whom Soi couldn't stand and considered a "monster" but knew Nakago needed, greeted the pair with his usual flamboyant manner.

"And did we conquer the world yet?" the heavily made-up Seishi asked, as Nakago brushed past him into his tent. The scowl on Nakago's face answered the unnecessary and annoying question. Soi followed quickly on Nakago's heels, but the Shogun didn't seem to notice she was directly behind him as he turned around. They collided awkwardly into each other, Soi almost losing her balance in the process.

"Why do you hound me like this?" Nakago said angrily, Tomo and Soi not sure if the comment was directed at one or both of them.

"Nakago-sama", Soi began after straightening herself, looking very much like a soldier. "I'm here to serve you in any way I can. I just thought that after today's battle you would want me to join you and..."

"If I wanted to see you I'd tell you. Now, both of you, leave me alone, please," Nakago said coldly, not making eye contact with either Seishi. Tomo gave Soi a very juvenile shrug and left in a huff. Soi looked back at Nakago, noticing he was having difficulty removing his armor. His scarf had gotten itself hopelessly tangled up in his claw epaulette and he was tearing at the fabric. She came over and stood in front of him and started to gently untangle the mess. Nakago looked down at Soi, studying her face.

"You don't have to do that. I'm perfectly capable of dressing and undressing myself," Nakago said in his cool, matter-of-fact manner.

"Oh, are you?" Soi said teasingly, as she managed to free up the captured scarf. She very seductively pulled on the torn end and slowly stepped back. Nakago gave her no reaction. A chill went through Soi, her face slowly blushing from embarrassment. "I'll leave you, then," she whispered, dropping the scarf, quickly exiting the tent with tears stinging her eyes.

A few days later, after avoiding Nakago as much as possible, Soi was summoned to his tent. A flicker of hope and excitement were in her eyes as she entered. Nakago was sitting with Tomo going over a map of Kutou when she walked up to the table.

"Good, you're here," Nakago began. Soi became confused when she saw what looked like travel orders in Tomo's hands. "I need you and Tomo to scout out the Northern Region of Kutou," Nakago said as if talking to one of his soldiers and not to someone with whom he had shared his bed. "We've been getting reports that the residents of the smaller villages are becoming sympathetic to Suzaku no Miko's cause. I had a feeling this would happen." Nakago rolled up the map and shook his head. "That idiot Emperor should have shown his support for them when their supplies were cut. Now he leaves it up to me to clean up his mess," he said bitterly. Nakago always hated the Emperor of Kutou for reasons that went far back into his past, reasons Soi was vaguely familiar with but which Nakago didn't share with her or anyone.

Everyone in Kutou felt Nakago should be Emperor, but Nakago had different ideas and goals. The Seiryuu no Miko would help him achieve the ultimate dream he had in mind, and it was also his job to protect her. Soi felt her chest begin to ache, as she realized the reason Nakago had summoned her. He only needed her soldiering skills right now. Soi maintained her outward facade of a Seishi, but inside her heart was breaking. She would be separated from the one man she had allowed herself to love.

"Baka," she said to herself, as Nakago gave Tomo some final instructions. "He doesn't love me. When will I wake up and accept that this is a one-way relationship." She had overheard Nakago tell the no Miko that he loved her, but Soi had hoped it was just to convince the her to stay. She didn't believe it could be true, not after all they had been through together. Not after Nakago had saved Soi from the wretched life she was living when he found her in the brothel over seven years ago. Not after she was allowed to share Nakago's bed and help raise his ki in her unique manner. She thought she had meant something to Nakago; now she realized she was just one of his many tools to be used and discarded when its usefulness was completed.

"I need you and Tomo to be ready to leave in an hour," Nakago said, as he rose and handed the map to Tomo.

"Hai, Nakago-sama," Soi replied, in her best soldier's voice. "I am here to serve you."

"Arigato. You may leave. My messengers will keep me posted of your activities," Nakago said, with his back to Soi and Tomo, continuing to look at some other military papers. Soi stared at Nakago's back for a moment, then turned and left with Tomo following closely behind.

"Well, I guess that's that, hmm?" Tomo said in a particularly catty voice. Soi turned to give him an angry look, but it was difficult with her eyes brimming with tears. Tomo's smile faded as he realized how much this departure hurt Soi. He didn't particularly like Soi, but they were now working together and he knew Nakago would kill him if he screwed up. They left the encampment together an hour later, taking along just enough men and supplies to make the journey.

Within a week, Soi and Tomo had found an excellent lookout site in which to watch for Suzaku no Miko's troops and to map the terrain for future use. Soi had busied herself with the task of leading this small subgroup and for the most part the men listened to her. Her soft, beautiful looks defied a heart of stone as she gave commands and took reports as expertly as any Shogun would. It was in the darkness of her tent that her femininity broke through, as she cried herself to sleep each night, longing for her lover.

Nakago had plenty of work to keep himself occupied and not think of Soi. Although at night, when a cool breeze would play on his skin, he thought of Soi's cool fingers caressing his face or arms. He closed his eyes and convinced himself it was a sign of weakness to miss her. She was a soldier, just like him. Time together would have to wait until the Seiryuu was summoned.

One evening as Soi and Tomo were walking back from the dining tent, Soi noticed some unusual flowers off to the side of the woods. Their encampment was at the base of a low hill, with a small forest to the East and a shimmering pond to the West. Her curiosity got the best of her and she allowed her womanly impulse to go over and pick some of the sweet smelling things. As she reached her hand down to pick one, she felt a sharp sting hit her wrist. A cobalt snake had been waiting in ambush and bit her hard, it's fangs injecting its poison into her. Soi screamed and pulled back, the snake still dangling from her wrist, as she tried to pull it from her body. Tomo lunged at the snake and pried it off with his dagger. He then let his magical feathers stab it to death. Soi was crying as she fell to her knees in pain, clutching her injured wrist as blood trickled from the open wound. Tomo quickly tore off a piece of his garment and wrapped a tourniquet around her forearm in hopes of keeping the venom from travelling further into her bloodstream. Soi began to feel lightheaded, and she sat down to keep from fainting.

"I brought along some potions just in case one of us got injured," Tomo said, trying to sound as sincere as he meant. Soi looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. She realized he was trying to help her the best that he could. She leaned against him, as he helped her to her feet, and brought her back to her tent.

Later that night, as Soi was preparing to retire, she looked at her swollen wrist and sighed. Her head had begun to ache and she longed for Nakago to massage her temples and feel his warm hands around her body. She felt a stirring in her lower abdomen. She thought it was because she was getting herself excited thinking about Nakago, but then the stirring began to become uncomfortable. She didn't let it bother her, as she lay down beneath the silk quilt she slept under, and tried to drift off to sleep.

A terrible nightmare enveloped Soi as she dreamed back to the days when she was sold by her parents and forced to work in the brothel where Nakago had found her. The scenery was the same, except this time Nakago wasn't rescuing her. He was simply smirking at her, as he left with his troops. She was running after him, calling his name, but he wouldn't turn around. She awoke crying, drenched in perspiration and feeling very sick to her stomach. The ache in her abdomen had become excruciating cramps, as she grabbed herself and fell back moaning. She suddenly felt very wet between her legs and knew that something was terribly wrong. She just managed to scream out Nakago's name when blackness surrounded her.

On the other side of Kutou, Nakago sat up, startled out of his sleep. He thought he heard someone call his name, but as he listened to the sounds of the camp all he heard was the rustling of the leaves on the trees. He felt terribly uneasy and rose from his bed to look out the tent flap. The moonlight was dancing on the horizon and it cast an ominous light onto Soi's empty tent. Nakago suddenly missed Soi but there was nothing he could do. He was a soldier, he told himself. You need your rest - go back to bed.

Tomo had heard Soi's screams and came rushing into her tent to find her collapsed on her bed, bleeding heavily from between her legs. He rolled her over as she moaned, but her instinct was to curl back up into a ball, writhing in pain. Her eyelids fluttered as she realized Tomo was with her.

"What's happening to me, Tomo?" she managed to choke out in a whisper. Her wrist was throbbing and she couldn't focus her eyes. The pain behind her temples was pounding, and she had difficulty breathing.

Tomo looked down at Soi's private area that was covered in blood and suspected what might be happening. "Soi, are you pregnant?" Tomo asked, as delicately as he could. He knew Nakago and Soi slept together often so this wasn't out of the question.

"I didn't think so. I had hoped not. I'm not that late," Soi said weakly, as another round of cramping caused her to pull up her knees in pain and cry out in anguish.

"I think the snake venom is causing a miscarriage, Soi. I need you to sit up so I can help you," Tomo told her gently. In addition to Tomo's deadly talents, he was very skilled at the medicinal arts, and even though he was annoying, at this moment he was all that Soi had to help her.

"Help me, please," Soi pleaded, as she hung onto Tomo's arms. Within the next few moments, Soi suffered her miscarriage and passed out from the pain and loss of blood. Tomo gently laid her down on a clean quilt. He quickly took control of the situation and called for some soldiers to assist him. He had them light a fire and bring water and towels to the tent. He ordered them to bury the quilt with its sad cargo far from the camp, for the scent of blood might attract predators. Tomo then went back to Soi and cleaned her up as best as modesty would allow him. He wondered how he would survive telling Nakago of the events that had just unfolded.

Tomo was becoming very concerned, as the morning sun began to peek through the tent flaps. Soi had not regained consciousness from her ordeal the night before. She would cry and moan in her sleep, occasionally whispering Nakago's name as she suffered. Her fever was dangerously high and her wrist was turning an ugly gray near the wound. The bite itself didn't look particularly bad - two fang marks and some redness and swelling. But the discoloration immediately told Tomo the poison was doing its work. He called one of the men into the tent, wrote a quick message on a slip of parchment, and told the soldier to take the fastest horse and ride back to Nakago's encampment without stopping. Tomo knew it would take at least 12 hours because they were quite a ways from the base camp. He desperately tried to think of a way to keep Soi alive...

It was early in the evening when a thunderstorm caused all the soldiering maneuver's to come to an abrupt halt. Lightening flashed in the sky, illuminating the dark clouds, as sheets of icy rain fell over the camp. This was not making Nakago's mood any better. He had been uneasy all day thinking about Soi. Often he would turn around, thinking he heard her voice or smelled her fragrance, only to find nothing there. As the wind whipped up the flaps of his tent, Nakago sat amongst his pillows and started to think of his lover.

Soi was such a delicate creature when he first saw her. Her heart-shaped face surrounded by long red tendrils made her look like an angel in that God-forsaken place. With all his harshness and coldness toward others, Nakago was surprising uncomfortable when men forced themselves on women. Perhaps having always been attractive and powerful was why Nakago never had any trouble with women freely giving themselves to him. It was only after he met Soi that he found brothels distasteful, and after he rescued her and she joined their troop, he never visited one again. When Soi offered herself to him years later he willingly enjoyed her and her many talents, though often for his pleasure alone. It was only recently that he began to think of her pleasure as well as his own. Was it because she was away from his side that he finally realized he missed her company and not just her beautiful body?

He had not allowed himself to love anyone. It only brought pain. He thought of his mother and how he felt powerless to help her as those men forced themselves upon her. And then for him to be the cause of her death...he closed his eyes and mind to such painful memories.

In his mind now he remembered a very passionate evening with Soi after a victorious battle, but one where he had been slightly injured. Soi had tended to his wounds and had finished dressing the injury when Nakago held her closely to him, feeling her body mold into his. He actually allowed himself to smile as he remembered the evening and how much stronger he felt afterwards, her "talents" causing his shin to glow bright blue on his forehead. Soi had the amazing ability to raise his ki through sex, but he often went to her tent at night just to be with her. She always seemed to enjoy his company, he thought to himself. Perhaps if things were different. Perhaps...

A rain-soaked rider, charging towards his tent, brought Nakago back to the present. He immediately rose and frowned at this untimely intrusion. The rider reared the horse up to Nakago's tent and jumped off in one motion, leaving the exhausted animal with the guard outside the Shogun's tent.

"What is the meaning of this?" Nakago growled angrily at the drenched young man who was on one knee before him.

The panting soldier thrust forward Tomo's note and Nakago began to read the message.

"Soi dying. Come immediately."

Nakago's eyes widen as he reread the message but no other emotion was shown on his face. He immediately turned back inside his tent and gathered up his cloak and sword.

"Get us fresh horses immediately!" Nakago shouted to the soldiers who had gathered around to see what all the commotion was about. "You," he said, pointing at the young soldier, "get on a fresh horse and lead me to your encampment, now!" With that the two riders left in a muddy cloud of dust through pouring rain for the 12-hour return trip.

Soi's breathing was becoming raspy and labored. Tomo could only sit helplessly by and mop her brow. Her temperature had not broken and she trembled constantly. Dark circles were forming under her eyes and her lips took on a bluish tinge. She was dying. He held onto to her hand and she squeezed it from time to time, whispering Nakago's name. With all his magic, there were still some things even he wasn't capable to doing. Tomo looked at her tortured body and wished he could do more. He noted to himself that if he ever was attracted to a woman, perhaps she could be as beautiful as Soi. He gently brushed some of the matted red hair from her forehead, frowning as he noted how hot it still was. Please, Nakago, get here in time, he thought.

Almost a day had gone by since Tomo sent the soldier to fetch Nakago. In that time, Soi's condition worsened. She no longer trembled; she lay ominously still. Her breathing now was erratic, only taking in gasps of air and too long a pause between them. Tomo stood with his arms folded and looked out the tent flaps. Soldiers were milling about, occasionally glancing towards the tent, they themselves wondering what Nakago would do to them if and when...

Suddenly the sound of hoof-beats broke through the evening's silence as the two riders arrived at the Northern encampment. The young soldier nearly fell to the ground with exhaustion as he was helped from his horse. Nakago dismounted in one swift motion, his cape flowing gracefully behind him. Both riders were soaked, even though the rain had stopped a few hours before. Both were somewhat disheveled, leaves and dirt in their hair and on their clothes. Nakago strode quickly over to where Tomo was waiting to greet him. He knelt down to acknowledge his Shogun as Nakago stopped and stood in front of him. Tomo slowly rose and met Nakago's piercing stare.

"Is she...?" Nakago whispered. He then glanced at the tent, but did not enter. "Not yet, Nakago-sama," Tomo answered softly. "But I don't think it will be very long." Then Nakago pushed aside the tent flap and entered Soi's tent. The only light inside came from a lone candle on the table in the corner. It's flickering added to the solemnity of the situation. Nakago stopped and stared down at Soi for a moment, then moved closer to her.

"How did this happen?" Nakago asked, removing his cloak and brushing the dirt and debris from his body and hair. "Why didn't you contact me sooner?" he glared at Tomo.

"It all happened so quickly, Nakago-sama," Tomo began, as Nakago knelt down next to Soi and gently touched her hand. He let himself frown in front of Tomo, as a sudden tightness in his chest made him wince. Tomo joined Nakago by Soi's side as he tried to relate the events of two nights ago. Of how Soi had been bitten by the cobalt, how the wound appeared to be healing, but then how the pregnancy and miscarriage caused her condition to deteriorate so quickly.

"Pregnancy?" Nakago asked, looking at Tomo with surprise. "Soi was pregnant?" "Hai, Shogun, only just. The venom caused her to lose the child. I think it was the loss of blood that caused the poison to spread rapidly," Tomo said, stroking her other hand. "There was nothing I could do to stop it..." his voice trailed off, as he began to wonder what form his death would take after Soi died.

Nakago looked back down at Soi and gently brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. Tomo had never seen Nakago show a single tender gesture in all the years he had known him. He then thought he saw tears in Nakago's eyes, but figured the candlelight in the tent was playing tricks on him, and he must have been mistaken. Nakago sat back onto his heals and sighed. "Arigato, gozaimas," Nakago said very softly. "I believe you did what you could." Tomo was totally taken aback by this sudden show of emotion from Nakago. He looked at Nakago for a long moment and then whispered, "she's been asking for you the whole time." Then after another pause, he said "Gomen nasai, Nakago-sama," and put his hand on Nakago's shoulder. He then rose quietly and left Nakago alone with Soi.

Nakago looked down at the dying Seishi. She's so beautiful, he thought, as he felt her forehead. God, it was burning hot. He sat cross-legged next to her and began stroking her hand as he held it gently in his. Why? Why are all the things that I love in this world taken from me? Why? Will I be forever punished for trying to save the mother who gave me life, but who God allowed me to destroy, even while trying to help her? Nakago felt his chin begin to quiver, something that hadn't happened since he was a child. Why must you take my beloved Soi away from me just because I chose to love her? What kind of God are you? Nakago felt tears welling up in his eyes as he gathered Soi's limp body to his and placed her in his lap. Her head fell against his chest as he supported her in a semi-sitting position. Her nightclothes were drenched and showed the outlines of her lovely body that defied the ugly battle that was taking place inside. With his left arm cradling her shoulders, he gently caressed her face with his trembling right hand.

"Why do the few things I hold most dear have to be taken from me?" Nakago whispered aloud, holding Soi's icy cold hand in his. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers, as a tear rolled down his left cheek and off his chin. He choked back a sob, pressing Soi's lifeless body to his chest, and began to rock slowly. More tears followed the first, one trickling across his lips. He leaned forward and kissed Soi passionately on the mouth and began to sob as he felt her cold lips give no response. He then rested his cheek upon her forehead and let himself cry, heartbroken. In his grief, he never felt the warmth of the shin on his forehead begin to glow a soft blue.

As Nakago wept, a tear trickled from his chin onto Soi's eyelashes. While his mind was lost in grief, he didn't notice Soi's eyelids start to flutter. He didn't notice that the Bo on her left thigh had begun to glow a soft blue. When he felt her body convulse in his arms, he squeezed his eyes shut, thinking she must be left him. He then opened his eyes wide when he thought he heard Soi give a sigh. Nakago lifted Soi slightly away from him to see she regained some of the color to her face that had faded due to the snake's poison. Tears continued to roll down his cheeks as he quickly felt her forehead with his right palm. Her fever was broken.

"Soi? Soi, are you still with me? Please answer me?" Nakago's voice cracked, as he gently shook her and caressed her cheek in an effort to wake her. Soi slowly lifted her left arm. As Nakago watched through tear-filled eyes, Soi brought her fingers to her lips. She opened her eyes and looked at Nakago and touched his wet cheek. She then returned her fingers to her lips. Then her hand went limp on her thigh. She took a deep breath as if coming up from being underwater. Her eyes brightened as she looked up at Nakago, and then smiled blearily.

"You came back to me, Nakago-sama," Soi whispered, her voice filled with emotion. She reached her hand up again and caressed Nakago's wet face. He looked down at her with loving eyes and said in a choked whisper "you did, too." He kissed her sweetly on the lips. This time she returned the kiss and lifted her free arm to wrap around Nakago's neck. He hugged her tightly, kissing her forehead, her face, her lips, her hair. He didn't know what caused this remarkable recovery of his lover, but he dared to thank God none the same.

Soi sat cradled in Nakago's arms for a long time, neither wanting to be the one to break the embrace. They murmured words of love only for each other's ear. When Tomo had the courage to ask permission to enter the tent, figuring he'd be making arrangements for Soi's burial, he was shocked to see Soi snuggling in her Shogun's arms. Tomo's chin literally landed on his chest as he looked first at Nakago, then at Soi, then again at Nakago.

"Arigato, Tomo," Soi said softly, for she was still very weak. "I appreciate all that you did for me." Then with a sly smile, Soi added, "I guess you're not such a monster after all." "Hai, I mean, no," Tomo fumbled, as he bowed and left Soi's tent, scratching his head.

Nakago didn't want to put Soi down. He kept looking at her beautiful face and smiled, caressing her cheek in his warm hand. "My beloved," Nakago whispered in Soi's ear. Soi returned a tired smile up at Nakago. As she hugged him again, she reached her fingertips around to her mouth and pressed them against her lips. Her eyes sparkled in amazement at the wonderful tingle they still had. She then took her lover's face in her hands and kissed him. Perhaps when all this fighting was over, they could find a way to be together. Perhaps they could have children, in the future. Perhaps.

The End

Copyright 1998 Julie Farel

Fushigi Yuugi characters are the property of Watase Yuu, and Flower Comics.