I Had to Do It

I Had to Do It

By Scheherazade

A Gundam Wing Ficlet and sequel to "In a Letter" and "Response"

Disclaimer: As much as I wish it otherwise, I do not own these characters or their universe. I mean no harm with these words, please refrain from suing me.

Written on 11/27/00

Warnings: I told you it would get angsty! Dark, shonen-ai... AU, now most definitely.

Pairings: 4+3

Archived: if you want it, just ask!!

C&C: yes please! Send all comments to Alicit@aol.com

Author’s note: From the series, it seems to me that Trowa would be left-handed. The big gun on Heavyarms is on its left side and Trowa makes some comments about the difference to Heero when they are in Antarctica. It makes the most sense to me and it works well with my ficlet.

~~~~~

Miss Catherine Bloom-

Hello, my name is Iria Winner. You have already met my younger brother, Quatre Winner, he was close friends with your younger brother, Trowa Barton. I know that we have never met, but I think that you are obligated to know about some recent developments in respect to your late brother.

I was trying to keep this a formal letter but I think that you will understand how hard it is to remain businesslike when speaking of such delicate matters. And believe me, I’ve had to be extremely businesslike since I was forced to commit my brother.

Yes, it’s true, the rumors you’ve no doubt heard are correct. Yes, the only son to the Winner family is now certifiably insane. It happened only two months after Trowa’s passing. No, that’s wrong, it was two months after Trowa’s death that I found out about it. You see, I found these letters. They were all torn and creased and they were hidden in a filing cabinet that was no longer in use. I was going to use that cabinet to store some files when I happened upon the letters. By that time I was already worried about Quatre, seeing as he had been mumbling to himself more than a normal person would. I could have sworn he was talking to someone who was not there at times when he was alone in his room and thought no one could hear. Of course I couldn’t be sure that he was not just talking on the telecom or something to that effect.

But the letters. The first one was normal enough, writing wise. It looked like it was written by Quatre and was signed by him too, you’ll understand why that would make a difference in a minute. It was addressed to your brother and, it was a love letter. I don’t know, (nor do I care if you want the brutal truth) if you knew of or approved of your brother’s orientation (and, in retrospect, I don’t even know if Trowa did feel the same way about Quatre as my dear brother felt about him.) But I did know of my younger sibling’s romantic leanings, and even knew that he fancied Trowa. So that letter did not disturb me. It was the second letter that caught my attention. It was written in something almost like Quatre’s hand, but not quite. It took me a while to figure it out, but then I realized it was written with the left hand. I will assume that Trowa was a southpaw? And it was "signed" as Trowa Barton. In it was everything Quatre wanted to hear. I didn’t know what to make of it. That’s when I realized that both letters were dated after Trowa passed on.

When I confronted Quatre about the letters he just smiled and said that they were between he and a "very special friend" and then he waked away whistling a tune I’d heard him hum before. I was concerned for him so I got him to see a psychiatrist. After months of therapy, Quatre only seemed to be getting worse. Now, not only did he believe that Trowa was alive, but that, at times, he was standing right next to him. Well, it was the hardest decision I’ve ever made, but I finally decided to commit my brother to a nice institute. I had to do it. They can do more for them there than they can here, I hope.

So why am I telling this to you? Well, I was hoping that you maybe knew something of what your brother felt towards mine. I was hoping you could tell me so I could tell Quatre and maybe give him some closure on this that would bring him back to me. Did he tell you anything? Did he ever mention my brother, even in passing? Anything you say will help. I need your help. As an older sister to another, to help a little brother, please help us.

Sincerely,

Iria Winner