Narrator: Will Goku go and get to see the *cough*
magician? What is wrong with Bulma? How much
money will little Gohan make with the bets that were
placed on if Vegeta goes through with it or not? Will
Piccolo be able to take down Android 20....
Piccolo: WRONG STORY!!!
Narrator: Uhh sorry. All this and more on the next part
of DRAGONBALL Z!!!! The Nine Months Saga.
Brought to you by the Executives of FUNimation.
Quality Anime at it’s best.
he next day.......
Goku, Piccolo, and Krillan walked towards the casino
with all of them wearing some Hawaiian shirts and
sandals. It was a bit warm outside today as Goku
chugged down some Pepsi and tossed the can in the
trashcan.
A mother and her little girl walked pass them.
“Mommy LOOK, a weird guy with green skin,” she said
as pointed towards him.
“Oh Stacy, its probably just another showman in a
costume.”
“I don’t know , mommy. That guy with the tail carrying
the Dragonball Z video game machine looked pretty real
to me.”
“Don’t worry about it. Besides, I’m more worried of them
two. Just look at his hideous haircut and have you ever
seen a man THAT short!?! My god. Come on, lets just go
and mind our own business. I don’t want you to get near
those two FREAK shows.”
“Hey Goku, why is that woman staring at us?” asked
Krillan as he opened the door for them.
“Gee I don’t know. Maybe its my legs?”
“Your legs!?!” replied Piccolo.
“Yeah, Freeza threw a fireball at me. Didn’t hurt me
much. Just singed all my hair off my legs. You should
have seen how jealous ChiChi was when I showed her.”
Krillan looked down.
“Hmmm, I never noticed. Wow, they must be smooth as
a baby’s bottom. HEY, there’s the building. Slots, here I
come,” he shouted as he ran towards the casino area.
“Goku, what’s the matter?” asked Piccolo.
“Its just that, well.... I wanted to take Gohan to see the
magician. You should have seen how heart broken he
was when Chi Chi forbid him to co***”
“Hey guys, can you help me with these?” They all turned
and saw Yamcha carrying two cases of “Samuel
Adams”, “Coors,... and a nice 12 pack of Hawaiian
Punch for Goku. Vegeta stood on a table with his arms
folded.
“HURRY UP YAMCHA!!! My child will be delivered before
you get done unpacking!!” Yamcha merely sneered as he
haled the liquors from one side to the other. Vegeta then
turned to see the Hawaiian trio. “Ahhh Kakorot? So glad
you can come. To think, your wife nearly didn’t allow you
to come to my little party. To think, myself, the Ginyu
Force, and Freeza have attempted many times to break
you. And the only one who was able to tame you was
bitchy homemaker.”
“Same to you, Vegeta.” Vegeta’s eyes widen a bit. He
didn’t expect that coming. Could Bulma be the only one
who has actually.... no no. He was the great prince of
Saiyans!! No one can tame him!! No one.......
“Hey Vegeta, phone call. Its Bulma!!” shouted one of the
managers. Vegeta sighed to himself. He was hoping to
have a day off from his mate.... that and to do a bit of
drinking. When was the last time he had a nice bottle of
Samuel Adams? Considering how long he’s been dead
on Namek and his attack on Earth.... eh... probably
about a couple of years. With a front flip, Vegeta jumped
off the table and snatched the phone.
“What is it?” he grumbled.
“I just wanted to say “I love you” that’s all.” Vegeta
choked on his own breath. He shifted his eyes a bit.
“I love you too. *click*” he quickly murmured. He doubt
she didn’t even heard it. But he didn’t particularly care.
Tonight he’s going to spend the last day on earth single.
Bulma placed the phone down. She couldn’t understand
his last words. She slumped in the chair as she
continued to look through the book of names. ChiChi was
sitting on the other side, cooking some rice for them to
eat for lunch.
“Here, you need something a bit healthier then those
Twinkies. So what did Romeo say?” asked ChiChi as
she placed the bowl in front of her.
“I don’t know. He kind of garbled it up. I want my child to
have a loving father. A caring father. But Vegeta just has
too much pride in himself to mess with his own creation.
Bulma’s eyes welled as she placed her hands on her
face.
“There there, Bulma. I know Vegeta’s being a total
stump. But listen, maybe some shopping would do the
trick. Besides, I need to go visit Goku. I need to give him
that medicine in case the heart disease attacks him
while he’s at Vegeta’s Bachelor’s Party.” Bulma, picked
up a soft pink tissue and dried her eyes up. Bulma began
to rise up in her chair....
“Gah!!!” she moaned as she clutched her stomach.
“BULMA!!!”
“I’m okay. The pain is going away now,” she replied as
Chi Chi helped her to her feet.
“Maybe you should see the doctor after your wedding?”
“Yeah, I should. I don’t want the baby to be hurt or
affected by this.”
Back at Vegeta’s Party.....
“Come on... come on.... lemon.... lemon......GAH!!!
stupid orange,” shouted Krillan as he kicked the
machine.
“What is the matter my friend?” asked Piccolo as he
approached the cueball. “These freggin’ things are rigged.
I have not won once at anything here,” he pouted as he
crossed his arms.
“Are you sure?” asked Piccolo as he pulled the handle.
Three BARs appeared on the screen and money began
to pour out.
“How....how did you do it?” asked Krillan.
“I was able to in tone my soul. Become one with
the machine........ that and I changed the odds on
the machine so we can’t lose.”
“SWEET!!!” replied Krillan as he became all giddy with
joy, pulling on the lever and coins coming out.
Yamcha, Vegeta, and Goku all sat at a round table
awaiting for the show to start. “Heh heh, we defiantly
should’ve invited Master Roshi,” laughed Yamcha as he
took a sip of Samuel Adams.
“Yeah, too bad Ms. Majik had to cancel. That would’ve
been a show,” muttered Vegeta as he took another drink
as well.
“What? There ain’t gonna be a magician?”
“Nope. So I had to settle for the next best thing...”
“GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! I DON’T WANT TO SEE THE
CLOWNS!!”
“You porchmonkey!! There ain’t gonna be no clowns. If
there was, I would’ve held this at a circus for a third of
the price.”
“Oh.....heh heh,” blushed Goku as he turned a light pink
at the tip of his cheeks. “So then who’s coming?”
“You’ll see,” smirked Yamcha. Krillan and Piccolo came
into the room holding bags of quarters.”
“Wow, today must’ve been your day,” spoke Goku as he
helped him with his money.
“Sure was; hey Piccolo? Will you help me pick out some
lottery numbers when we get home?”
“Sure, but I get a cut in the winnings. Hmmm, its
starting....”
Piccolo and Krillan pulled up a seat next to the trio. Two
spotlights shown on the stage as the curtain unfolded.
Seven women wearing blue glittered outfits, with
feathered hats appeared. Each one flashed a smile and
placed their hands on each others shoulders.
“YEAH!!! CAN CAN!!!” shouted Krillan as the beautiful
girls began to kick their smooth long tanned legs up in
the air.
“Can Can?” muttered Piccolo as his face looked as if it
was smashed by a brick. “I’ve always had a flair for it.
Now shut up! Hmm, that’s odd.... I could’ve sworn I hired
eight Can Can dancers......”
Outside the building....
“Hmmm, 498 Barker Street. Yep this is the place,” said
Bulma as she pulled herself from out of the car. Chi Chi
stretched her arms as she herself opened the door and
hoped out.
A man stood at the front gates with his arms crossed.
“Excuse me, my husband is in there. Could you give him
this medicine for me?” she asked.
“Sure thing, miss.”Before she got a chance to hand over
the vial... a loud pitched scream filled the air.
“GET AWAY FROM ME YOU,PERVERT!!!!!!!!” shouted a
brisk woman as her little feathered hat bounced in the
air. Master Roshi followed afterwards.
“WAIT!!!! I.... must..... touch them....” he piped as they
disappeared over the hill. The two girls stared at each
other.
“Hmmm, maybe I should give this to him personally.”
Inside the building......
One of the girls broke from the group and leaped right
towards the table.
“So whose the lucky man tonight?” she spoke in a
breathy tone.
“Oh, its Vegeta,” said Yamcha as he pointed towards
him.
“Wanna Can Can?” she asked as she slipped a hand
under his chin.
“NO WAY!!! I am NOT going to embarrass myself.
Besides, I prefer to watch it, then be a part of it.” The
Can Can dancer sulked on the table and faced Goku.
“Hey sweetie. Would you like to dance with us?”
“But uh, I never Can Can’ed before.... is it fun?”
“We’ll find out,” she spoke as she pulled his collar over
towards the stage.
Yamcha and Krillan began to whistle while Vegeta rolled
his eyes and took another sip of alcohol. Goku placed
his hands on the other girl’s shoulders. Centered in
between the group, the music began to roll. Goku found
himself in unison with the girls, flipping his legs in the air.
“HEY, THIS IS KIND FUN!!! Great exercise for the calves
too,” smiled Goku.Vegeta placed his hand on his face
and began to mutter to himself.
“Hey handsome, love your legs? What kind of razor do
you use?” asked one of the girls.
“Oh, I didn’t use a razor. Freeza did that.”
“Hmmm, I might have to pick some up at Jenny’s Beauty
Salon,” she mumbled as the doors flung open.
“GOKU!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE DOING UP THERE
WITH THOSE SLUTS!!!!”
“But Chi Chi, they aren’t prostitutes. They’re just
Ca***....” Chi Chi slammed her fist in his face knocking
Krillan cold. Chi Chi stamped over towards the stage.
“Oh hey Chi Chi, wanna join us? This is so much fun.
And you did complain about that extra three pounds you
gained last week?” smiled Goku with his arms STILL on
the two girls shoulders.
“My god, her ki is raising. Do you think she’ll turn Super
Saiyan !?!” mumbled Yamcha as he took out a scanner.
Chi Chi front flipped ontop of the stage, grabbed one of
the girls by the headdress and chucked her to the other
side. Another Can Can girl went down to grab a chair and
tried to slam it on her.
“Oh no you don’t!!” shouted Bulma as she karate
chopped it to bits and flipped her over towards where the
guys were sitting.
“WATCH YOUR AIMING,WOMAN!! YOU’RE GONNA
SPILL MY ‘Samuel Adams’!!” shouted Vegeta as he the
dancer laid spawned on there.
Twenty minutes later.....
Narrator: Can Can dancers continued to be flung all
through the air as Goku went over and sat with his
friends. Pondering.... deep thoughts.....
“Gee, you think we should interfere and stop them?”
asked Goku as he landed in a chair. They all turned
toward Krillan.... minus two teeth and a broken nose.
“Ummm..... I think we should let them handle this.”
“Yeah,” “Goodpoint,” they all mumbled while Vegeta
leaned back on his chair.
“Bah, scared of a couple of earth women. Act the
cowards you are all you want, but if I’m getting married, I
might as well have a woman who looks halfway decent
enough and worthy of marrying the Prince of all
Saiyans!!” he said as he stared walking towards the two
as they were beating the stuffing out of another Can Can
dancer.
Vegeta looked over. Gently pushing aside the Can Can
Dancer, grabbing Bulma’s hand.... and then chucking Chi
Chi towards the table at where the other guys sat.
“HEY, THIS ONE’S MINE!!!” shouted Goku.
“Exactly.” With that, Vegeta flung Bulma on his
shoulders and started walking out the door.
“Hey wait up,” said Goku as he tossed Chi Chi on his
shoulders and started to follow him.
The others stared with wide eyes.
“Well.... they are Saiyan after all,” muttered Yamcha.
“Oooooooo my headz.... hey... why ams I talking funny?”
asked Krillan.
“Ummm, say, wanna another Samuel Adams?”
“Surz.”
Narrator: While the Saiyans take their.... mates home.
An ominous silhouette watches them. Its long tail
slithered and tensed as it watches the groups soar
through the air. His lips curled into a smile.
“He heh heh, so those fools think they have really beaten
me. For months I have been waiting for a chance.. at
revenge. Now is the perfect time, to strike and place my
sinister plans in action.....for I..... AM...... FREEZA........
Third cousin twice removed. MWHA HA HA HA HA....
eh... why am I saying my secret plans outloud?”
Narrator: Cause you’re the villain of this saga since
Freeza is stuck in hell. Meaning the people need to know
in advance what you are going to do to them.
“Well then. This is a good time to strike. With the
wedding going on, I Freeza’s..... third cousin twice
remove.... will obliterate all that monkey cares and loves
MWHA HA HA HA HA!!!!”
“Hey excuse me? Are you like... Freeza?” asked a Can
Can girl.
“eh... um.... I”m just his third cousin twice removed.”
“Oh well, we were wondering.... could you like use your
mystical powers to shave our legs.”
Freeza’s third cousin twice removed’s eyes shot open.
“Well... umm... I....” he mumbled as he twiddled with his
thumbs.
“Please........” she said as she tickled his chin.
“Oh.... very well.”
From the next dimension......
“YOU IDIOT!!!!! What are you doing!!! You are not
suppose to be shaving Can Can dancer’s legs!?! You are
suppose to be pending your revenge for my DEATH!!!”
Freeza’s third cousin twice removed didn’t reply as the
girls giggled and tickled him. He dazely smiled as he
lightly blasted the little stubs off.
Freeza started banging his head on a rock. He’s gonna
be stuck here, longer then he thought.
Part 3.2: I DO....
It was the night before the wedding as Bulma laid there in
bed. Vegeta straighten up his rented tux so that he can
have some extra sleeping time tomorrow. He stretched
his arms and laid in bed next to her.
He turned his head towards her. Her blue eyes look like
a never ending night while her soft hair seem to be
spawned across the pillow. Her angelic face never looked
so peaceful. Vegeta smiled a bit as he laid on his side.
Suddenly, she began to stir. Her body leaned over him.
She placed one hand over his chest.
“Vegeta....” she whispered.
“Yes?” he whispered back as she knelt forward and
leaned her head against his broad chest.
“Could you go buy some Twinkies for me? I have this
sudden craving for some.”
“WHAT!?! WHERE THE HELL AM I GONNA GET
TWINKIES AT....”
His eyes shot forward at the clock. “....1:30 in the
morning!?! “
“But I’m hungry.”
“Go grab yourself an orange from the frige.”
“I WANT TWINKIES!!! NOW GIVE THEM TO ME..... or
else...”
she shouted as her eyes glowed a bright red and her
neck twisted 360 degrees.
“Yes Ma’am.”
Later.... on some city street......
“Where am I gonna find Twinkies at this time at night,”
said Vegeta as he strolled around in a robe and slippers.
“Ahh, a gas station... surely they have some left,” he
murmured as he flew towards there. With a gentle push,
the door’s bell rang.
“Can I help you?” the store clerked asked as he
straightened up his glasses. “Where are your Twinkies
at!?!”
“I’m sorry sir. We’ve sold the last box to this blue haired
woman this morning.”
“WHAT!?!!!!”
“Why don’t you try the next store. I’m sure they sell what
you are seeking.”
The next store....
“Forgive me, but we are all sold out of Twinkies. This blue
haired woman......”
The next store after that......
“Well this blue haired woman.....”
After that......
“She said she had this deep craving for Twinkies......”
Twelve stores later.....
It was five A.M... Vegeta’s eyes were red from hoping
from one store to the other. They lazily gazed over
towards the baked section and noticed one last Twinkie
was left.
“Finally!!!” he said as he picked up the delicate little
cake. Vegeta walked towards the woman to pay for his
purchase....
“ALL RIGHT!!! GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY AND
VALUABLES.... NOW!!!” shouted a man dressed in
black with a silk stalking on his head.
“AAAAAAAHHH,” screamed a couple as they rolled to
the floor and placed their hands on their head.
The clerk frantically fiddled with her keys, trying to get
her cash register open. Vegeta just stood there and
cocked an eyebrow.
“Wait a second. I need to pay for my Twinkie first!” said
Vegeta as he began to dig into his pockets for a quarter.
“I SAID, GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!!!” the robber
screamed as he began to fire bullets at Vegeta. Vegeta
didn’t realize it as they bounced off while he handed the
clerk the money. The robber kept shooting.....*click
click*. He then stared down at it.
“Awww shit.... I’m outta of bullets,” he panicked as he
tossed his gun missing Vegeta and smashing the
Twinkie.
Vegeta gasped as his hands began cringe. A smooth,
steady growl began to fill the air..... his head turned.
Suddenly.... his hair flashed a bright blond and eyes
glowed green.
“How DARE you smash the last Twinkie. I’ve been up
since 1:30 this morning trying to find the damn thing......”
and now a word from our sponsors....
A man in a gray suit sits at a desk. Executive: Hello
friends. We here at FUNimation, the same people who
have brought quality animation to your living rooms for
years; have decided to have this scene cut out due to
content. Why you ask? We here at FUNimation care
deeply about family viewing. Do not worry. There is
nothing here that would’ve effected the plot. Yes I’m sure
some of you all would enjoy seeing Vegeta using his Big
Flash and Final Bang moves.... but... simply cannot
allow these moves to corrupt our younger viewers out
there. Goodnight. And god bless.
and now back to the following fic....
Vegeta walked down the streets as he flicked off one of
the robber’s teeth off his shoulder.
He then notice a light coming from the Son’s hotel room.
Vegeta lazily flew up towards the window and noticed
Goku, Tien, and Chowzu sitting around a “Chutes and
Ladders” board game.
“HEY VEGETA, COME ON IN!!!” smiled Goku as he
opened up the window. Vegeta growled. He then sighed
to himself. He was too lazy to go around to his room.
Might as well take a little rest here.
“Why are up so late, ,Mister Vegeta?” asked Chowzu as
he tugged on his robe. “Bah, I’ve been looking for four
hours straight and it seems that that blasted woman
bought every damn Twinkie in this god damn city,”
muttered Vegeta.
“Oh, why didn’t you say so?” asked Goku as he walked
towards his cabinet and pulled a whole box full.
“Wha... wha....where did you get those!?!” asked Vegeta
as sweat began to pour from his temple.
“Eh, I just bought them over down at the cafe here. Here,
you can take them to Bulma. I’m sure’ll really enjoy.....
Vegeta? COOL!! HEY GUYS LOOK!! I THINK HE’S
TURNING SUPER SAIJIAN!!! Hey guys, why are you
running out the window. Its just Vegeta....”
The next morning....
“Hmmm, Goku’s been asleep longer then usual. Its
Saturday... he’s usual up and watching Power Rangers
about now,” muttered Chi Chi as she slid out of her bed.
She then walked over towards the living room to find
Goku spawned face down with his clothes all ripped up
and his hair messed up. “GOKU YOU BAKA!!! What
have I told you. The living room is NOT to be used for
training. *sniff sniff* my poor poor dear Gohan. All my life
I want to see him grow up and succeed as great scholar.
AND YOU’RE CREATING A BAD INFLUENCE ON
HIM!!!”
“Awww Chi Chi, but I like sparing with Vegeta..... hey
could you pop my dislocated shoulder so I can get up
and change for the wedding?” pouted Goku as his body
twitched a bit.
“Oh very well... but we’re having a talk over your behavior.
Hey, I thought Tien and Chowzu was staying over last
night?”
“They said they had to water the plants back at the
Western City. I wonder why they didn’t wanna spar with
me and Vegeta. I mean sure his power level became ten
times stronger, but we could’ve taken him.”
“Uh huh, I’ll go tell Master Roshi to go get you a senzu
bean so you can walk with those broken legs of yours....”
All of a sudden, there was a loud pitched scream.
“My god, that’s Gohan!!! DON’T WORRY!!! MOMMY
DEAREST IS COMING TO SAVE YOU!!!” she cried as
she raced up the stairs. Goku slowly floated up.
“Hey wait up... oh, there goes another tooth.... I’m
coming too!!”
Chi Chi raced inside and flung open the door.
“WHAT IS IT,GOHAN!!! Did your learning tapes got ate
up again?”
“Its not that mother. Look at this.....” he said as he
handed Chi Chi a paper.
“My GOD!!! If Vegeta and Bulma get married, according
to the bets you made you will be negative $230. 23!!!
NO!!! Maybe we can stop this. Maybe Bulma’s water will
break....”
“But she’s too early in the pregnancy, mom!!”
“Eeeppp!! You’re right. Well then, maybe we can use the
dragonballs and...”
“Chi Chi.... come on. You can’t be serious. I know its
odd with Vegeta and Bulma getting married.... but we
can’t stand in the way of their happiness,” spoke Goku in
a somewhat intelligent manner.
“Yes, you’re right. Com’n Gohan, you should be getting
into your best.... Gohan? Gohan put that cyanide away,”
“But mom.... $230.23!!!!”
“Ohhh, I’ll buy you an ice cream cone after the wedding,”
“Hot Damn!!”
“GOHAN!!! Don’t use that sort of language!!”
“But Topaz989 cusses all the time and no one ever
bothers with it.”
“Well..... um.... GOHAN GET INTO YOUR CLOTHES!!!
Or we’re gonna be late!!!”
“What about me, Chi Chi?” asked Goku in a painful way.
“The senzu bean. Right.”
“Hey Mom, I can go get i*”
“Oh no you won’t, mister. You’re grounded.”
“YEAH!! I DON’T HAVE TO.....”
“But you are going to Bulma and Vegeta’s wedding. And
since you are the youngest, you get to be the ring boy.”
“But Mom!!!!!!!!!!!”
“No ‘BUTs’.... now.... how the hell am I going to get to
Master Roshi with him on the other side of Los
Vegas?.....Hmm, I’ll need to borrow that cloud. Gohan,
after your done getting into your clothes, help your father.
FLYING NIMBUS!!!” A yellow cloud streaked across the
sky as Chi Chi jumped on it and flew off.
“Gee, I didn’t know she can do that.” said Goku stunned.
and now a commercial break from your future master of
the universe.....
~Namekian Armor....... 12,000 yen
~Hiring a Saiyan race to obliterate a few
planets.........120,000,000,000 yen
The look on monkey boy’s face when I blew his bald
human friend to atoms......
priceless.....
For everything else...... there are dragonballs.
This commercial was brought to you by the friends and
family of Freeza and by FUNimation, Quality Anime at its
best.
and now back to The 9 Months Saga.....
Master Roshi groaned as he got up from his bed.
Groggily, he reached out for his sunglasses. “That last
lady really put a whollap.” he muttered as he grinned in a
perverted way.
“Master Roshi!” a voice yelled out from the window. Roshi
put on his glasses and ran to the window to see Chi Chi
standing there in her robe.
Master Roshi began to squint his eyes....
RUN DIAGNOSES CHECK.........
Chest size: 39B
Weight: Unknown
Age:35
Status: Married
Husband: Goku
Chances of getting ass kicked by husband: %12
Chances of getting ass kicked by Chi Chi: %110
Diagnoses: NOT APPLICABLE
“What’s wrong, Chi Chi? Isn’t that Goku’s Flying
Nimbus?” he said in a serious tone trying to look like he
wasn’t staring at her .... features.
“Oh, that idiot husband of mine and Vegeta went into
another spar in the living room.... again....as usual he got
his ass kicked because he didn’t want to ruin the
apolstry with a Kamehameha. I need a senzu bean now.”
“Let me see.” Roshi said as he went to his luggage and
got out a small pouch. “Here it is. I got a few of these
just in case something happens and for the hangovers
the boys had.” Chi Chi grabbed the pouch, took out the
bean, hand the bag back to the man, and flew out.
“See you at the wedding!”
Vegeta growled as he put on his tux. “Damn that Kakorot
and those Twinkie cravings.” He muttered.
Bulma who was finished with her Twinkies yelled out,
“Vegeta! Can you get ready without seeing me?”
“Why, woman?”
“It’s tradition for the couple to not see each other before
the wedding.” Bulma stated, “Just stay there and yell out
when you’re done!”
“*grumble*bah, pitiful earthling rituals....very well.”
“Great! Do you have the rings!”
“Yes!”
“The Elvis impersonator?”
“Of course!”
“The tux?”
“I’m putting it on right now!”
“Gohan’s the ring bearer. Chi Chi is my maid of honor
and Daddy’s giving me away. Who’s your best man?”
“............”
“You didn’t get a best man yet?!”
“I had to plan things out in a hurry!” Vegeta yelled out.
“Okay, just ask one of the guys. Piccolo?”
“In hell...”
“Tien?”
“He’s the flower arranger,”
“Yamcha?”
“Do YOU want him to be the best man?”
“You’re right.... okay how about Goku.”
“Not after I broke his legs.”
“I’m sure he’s forgiven you by n**....”
“No, I mean this morning.”
“Oh. Well then just go outside and grab the nearest
person.”
“Fine fine,” he replied as he walked down the street. “I’ll
just find the nearest baka.... someone.... ahhh perfect,”
he grinned. “HEY YOU!!!” he shouted.
“Me?”
“Yeah, I remember you. Say wanna be my best man?”
“I don’t know,” he said as he ran a hand in his lavender
hair.
“Listen, all you have to do, is just stand there and look
pretty. I am NOT going to have Kakorot be my best man
so that leaves you. Here, I’ll even throw in twenty
dollars.”
“Sure!!!”
“Excellent. But first, what is your name, and where did
you came from?”
“I..... can’t tell you....”
Vegeta scowled. “Then, make up a name. Any name will
do.”
The man looked up, “How about ‘Goten’?”
“Fine, your name is Goten. Now go rent a tux and meet
me at the 30 minute wedding Chapel. I wanted the 3
minute but the woman wanted something a bit more
modest. What’s not modest of being there for 3 minutes
and receiving thirteen dollars worth of poker chips?”
“Exactly, you can do alot with thirteen dollars worth of
poker chips.”
“Kid, I’m beginning to like you,” said Vegeta as he gave
the man a pat on the back.
“Heh heh, yeah, I’m one of those types that you could
love like a son.”
Bulma rummage through her closet.
“This can’t be happening,” she mumbled to herself as
she took another bite in her Twinkie.
“What can’t be happening?” asked Mr.Popo as he and
Kami flew from the magic carpet and into her bedroom.
“Mr. Popo, Kami? What are you doing here?”
“Oh, we figured we might drop by....... you are going to
marry him are you?”
“As soon as I find my wedding dress.”
“Whew, our investment is saved, Kami.”
“But I think I left it back in the Western City. I must’ve
stuck it somewhere while I was packing my Twinkies....
Kami? Are you crying?”
“*sniff sniff* My money....... wait a sec....... MR.POPO!!
GO INTO THE SHIP...”
“What do you want Mr.Popo to get ,Kami?” asked Bulma
as she looked under the bed.
“Well, maybe you can use my wedding garments?”
“You were a bride?”
“Well, yes... and no, you are forgetting that we Nameks
are asexual.”
“Do you think it will work?”
“It should. It worked for Piccolo and Madonna.”
“Madonna is Namekian!?!”
“Of course. Many of her outfits are the traditional battle
armor of the Nameks. She makes us so proud.”
“Wow, who else is Namek?”
“Well, um, there’s Ross Perot, Ben Savage, Natalie
Portman....”
“Akira Toriyama?”
“Nah, he’s just an android that we sent hundreds of years
ago to probe the earth when were trying to conquer the
planet.”
“Oh.”
Mr. Popo ran as fast as he could with the clothing and a
weapon strapped to his back. Bulma picked up the
weapon.
“Ummm, what’s this for?” she said as she touched the
tip of the giant battle ax.
“What? You do not believe in beheading the mate as
soon as your.... oh dear, Mr. Popo, I do believe earth
traditions have changed a great deal since my last visit.
But it doesn’t matter. You must get into your wedding
garments. Wait a second, these are not Namekian.”
“Forgive me Kami. But I ran into this one bearded old
man. When I told him I was looking for some traditional
wedding garments, he handed me this and said its
perfectly natural for the earth women to wear it.”
“Alright, as long as its traditional earth wedding
garments, I have no problem with it.”
Narrator: Little did Bulma know, Freeza’s third cousin
twice remove was watching her movements.
“So, this is who Vegeta mated with, eh?”
“I’m afraid so. Pity, I feel dishonored to fight a man who
was willing to mate with one who is far weaker then his
own,” muttered Freeza from the next dimension as he
watched another writer from Dragonball GT fry.
“ So should I.....”
“NO!!! Its not time yet. Wait until after she has the child,
then we will strike.”
Freeza’s third cousin twice removed, nodded his head in
understandment as he laid there and continued to
analyze her.
Back at the 30 minute chapel......
Damn, there are more people out here then I thought. To
think when I started I only invited six and now I got over
110. God I can’t do this. I always thought I would be
destined to travel around conquering planet after planet
for Freeza..... now I’m stuck here on this blue marble....
its not too late to stop this. I don’t have to be committed.
I’m not an earthling like that baka, Kakorot!!!
“I’M NOT HUMAN!!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!”
“Who were you talking too?” asked the baka... err Goku
as he walked towards Vegeta. Goku wore a blue tux with
a little white rose while Vegeta’s composed of a red rose
and a black tux.
“Was I talking to you? NO!! So just get the hell away
from me.”
“That’s no way to talk to someone who came to see you
two get together.”
“I don’t think that’s gonna happen. I get married, they will
all think of I... the great Prince of Saiyans.... as
a......weakling....”
“Well, I’m married to Chi Chi and no one thinks of me
any different.”
Vegeta shifted his eyes, trying to think of a comeback....
“SO!?!”..... and fails miserably.
“Com’n, lighten up. Gez, this is starting to feel like the
first night we came to Vegas. Are you just embarrassed
that you have to kiss her in front of everyone here?”
“Kiss!?! No one said anything about a KISS!!” Vegeta ran
towards a book that was neatly tucked away in the
Capsule Corps Car. “Lets see here, “How to get
Married”......... eh lets see here.... Namek.... Planet
Vegeta..... Kentucky.... ah, Earth......number one: invite
everyone to church.... done.... number two: get tux and
wedding rings..... number three: Kiss the bride and carry
her off to Hawaii!?! No no no.... I’ll buy Twinkies for her,
I’ll save the planet for her, but there is no way I’m gonna
kiss her in front of....”
“...110?”
“ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PEOPLE!!!”
“Do you love her?”
“............”
“Vegeta.... its a simple question of yes or no....
do-you-love-her?”
“You’re just a third class baka. I do not have to answer to
your pitiful questions.”
“Of course.... but you must realize..... I’ll get my answer
when you two are up there with the preacher.”
Vegeta watched wearily as Goku turned towards his
family. He watched as Goku pick up Gohan and placed
him on his neck in a piggy back fashion. To think, that
will be him, his child and Bulma in a few years.... maybe.
He slowly paced himself inside the great church. Food
that was once in cased inside little capsules was now a
banquet.... thankfully Nameks didn’t eat or else there
wouldn’t be a blasted thing left. His steps echoed
throughout the Cathedral. Gifts sat on the table. Reminds
him of back when he was a pampered little brat. Ahhh,
the old days. He then turned towards the alter. Up above
was a stain glass painting. On it showed a woman in
blue cloth holding a bleeding man.
“I remember....” he muttered as he sat on a bench. The
blood mixing with his sweat, every day training to
become a Super Saiyan. The blast that would’ve killed
him. If she had not let him lay there and die. If she had
not treated him day and night. The burst of feelings..... of
someone caring for another. He remember the first time
he felt it. He hid it, but he didn’t want it to go away. It
never did, but instead it was bottled up and will soon be
released as a newborn child.... his child.
“VEGETA!!! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!” shouted Goku as
he came running down the aisle.
“Bah, just when things were actually starting to get
serious in this story; what is it now, Kakorot!?!”
“ Its the preacher!! He couldn’t come today.”
“WHAT!?!”
“He kind’ve ran off....”
“Let me guess, the Nameks?”
“Pretty much.”
“WHERE THE HELL AM I GONNA GET ANOTHER
PRE*..... wait a second.”
Vegeta walked over towards Chowzu. “Hey kid, you said
you were an emperor. Did you ever got two people
hitched before?”
Chowzu turned his head side to side.
“Me? Oh well, a couple of times.”
“Eh, you’ll do. NOW WE CAN WE GET THIS BLASTED
THING OVER WITH!!!” shouted Vegeta as he held
Chowzu by one foot upside-down.
“Please don’t hurt me. Ohhh, I feel nauseous. Could you
please put me down?” cried Chowzu as his hat fell off.
“You better put the little guy down. Or else you’ll make
him sick and you won’t have a preacher,” said a man as
he walked inside.
Goku turned and gasped. His lavender hair was neatly
combed back, but Goku knew who he was.
“How---why are you....” he muttered. Chi Chi turned
towards Goku.
“OH MY GOD!!! GOHAN GET THE MEDICINE!!! GOKU
LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO HAVE THE HEART
ATTACK!!!” she shouted as she ran and shoved Goku to
the ground. She ripped off his shirt and flung open his
jacket.
“Chi Chi, I’m***”
“SHUT UP!! I WON’T LET MY HUSBAND DIE!!!” she
shouted as she began to perform mouth to mouth
resesitation.
“Goku’s fine. I’m just an old friend that he hasn’t seen in
awhile,” said the man as he turned and walked over to
his place near the alter. Chi Chi, with her mouth still on
Goku looked up. A large man stood before them.
“Umm, sweetie, I don’t think now is the time or the place
to be doing that,” said the Ox-King as he giggled a bit.
Chi Chi blushed as she quickly got off him and took her
seat.
“Hey Goku, how come you ain’t gonna sit with us?”
asked Krillan as he leaned against the side.
“Easy, Bulma, asked me to film the wedding.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
And now for a limited time, we would like to present the
wedding in......GOKU-VISION!!!!
There’s Vegeta over there... hmm, I kind’ve figured this
would be the one time he would actually smile. HEY
VEGETA!!! SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!!! VEGETA!! I
DIDN’T SAY RAISE YOUR MIDDLE FINGER!!! Hmm, I
guess he didn’t hear me. Oh well. Man, look at all that
food. THEY EVEN HAVE COCKTAIL WIENERS!!!
Whoops, better focus this thing back inside the church.
Hey,there’s Gohan. Lets go over and visit him.
“Oh my god, oh my god, I’m gonna lose. Please please
don’t go on with the wed.... OH!!Hi Dad!! What are you
doing with the camera?”
“I’m filming the wedding, son.”
“Cool.”
“Hey, are those the rings?”
“Sure are. Hey, the music’s starting!!”
There’s the flower gir*.... whoa... is that....YAMCHA!!! My
gosh. I guess he lost at Rock Paper Scissors with
Piccolo. *sniff sniff* I wanted to be the flower person but
Chi Chi didn’t let me.
There’s Trunks up there. Heh heh, I can’t wait to show
this years later to Vegeta on how he got his own son....
who wasn’t even born yet to be his best man. Man, why
is Gohan so nervous. I’ve seen him with more courage
against Taurus then here. All he has to do is hand over
the rings.
Hey, Bulma should be coming up. The doors are starting
to open........ BULMA!!!
“Hey Piccolo, I didn’t know Nameks dressed like THAT
on wedding days.”
“What are you saying?”
“I mean..... look at her.. she looks like Leia dressed up
as Jabba’s slave.”
“Hmmm, I thought that was the way you humans
dressed for wedding days?”
“Not really, but she doesn’t look half bad in it. Good thing
she’s only like two and a half months. Or else that
outfit....”
The thought alone makes my spine shiver. Well, back to
the wedding.
“We are gathered......here.... to-br--br....”
“Bring” muttered Tien as he held Chowzu in front of the
bible.
“Oh yes. Bring these two in holy matrimony. Do you
Bulma Briefs take Vegeta.....err Vegeta, as your lawfully
wedded husband?”
“I do,” she said as she smiled at him.
“Chowzu, you were suppose to asked the groom first,
you also left out some words. Try to do it right for
Vegeta?”
“Ka.....ummm.... Do you, Vegeta, take Bulma as your
awfully wedded wife, to have and to hold till death do you
part?”
Silence.... come on Vegeta.... don’t be looking at the
ground like that. If you love her, tell her damn it. Look at
her!!! *Look at her*
*I don’t know, Kakorot*
*She’s already willing to spend the rest of her life with
you.... don’t you wanna do the same with her?*
“I do.”
Whew.... oh crap....*Gohan, quit biting your nails, it’s
time for you to hand them the rings*
*But Daddy.......*
*GO!! Now!*
*Fine Fine....*
There’s Gohan walking up towards the couple. Hey, what
is he saying?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
