“She’s got love, that she needs to give
But he’s afraid to let her in
To his world with no together
He can’t see her in his picture
He wants to love, but his heart won’t let him
Let her in
She’s walking behind . . .” - The Moffatts, Walking Behind

“You don’t know me,” He had said furiously, holding anger and hate inside him that was so strong it made me fear him, as he stood up from the cold sidewalk. “You don’t know what I’ve been through!”

He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. I know him a lot more then he thinks . . . we’re a lot more alike then he knows . . .

There was something about this boy, something horrible and beautiful at the same time. I saw it when I first laid my eyes on him, the day before, when he had walked into the pokémon center all tired and worn, and Ash had identified him as his formal rival . . .

***

“Gary?”

“Ash.”

The young men stared at each other, seemingly lost for words. Gary? The one that Ash had tried to beat at everything, that had teased him till he felt like he was a nothing, a loser, the Gary that Ash had beaten in the finals at the pokémon league. Yes, the young man sitting at the other end of the center did look familiar to that Gary, older of course, taller, and awfully beaten down, but otherwise the same. Except for one other thing I couldn’t identify . . . I couldn’t see Ash’s face, since his head was turned toward where Gary sat, but I could see Gary’s quite clearly. His eyes which had been large with surprise when he first recognized Ash, had settled down to their normal size, and seemed to be relived but scared at the same time. Was he scared of Ash?

“Gary, your pokémon are healed,” Nurse Joy suddenly piped up. She had just walked out through the back doors, six pokéballs in her arms.

“Huh? ,” Gary asked, his eyes moving away from Ash to Nurse Joy, his eyes returning to a dull empty look. “Oh right. Thanks Nurse Joy,” He said, getting up from his seat and walking over to the main desk, and taking his pokéballs from Nurse Joy. Seeming to forget the recent encounter with his old rival, Gary walked straight out the doors of the pokémon center.

“Gary wait! ,” Ash called. After taking a second to recover from the events that had just occurred, he jumped up and ran out the doors of the pokémon center after Gary.

When I was just about to get up and run after Ash, Brock grabbed my arm, turned to me and said briefly. “Leave him.”

******

I surely wasn’t expecting that encounter with Ash and his friends back in the pokémon center, and I surely wasn’t about to let it ruin my life I had created these past three years, it was already ruined enough. I had a job to do, and I wasn’t going to let emotions or past friendships stand in my way. As I’ve said to myself before, I never let anyone or anything stand in my way . . .

I heard Ash’s muffled cry through the pokémon center doors. I didn’t want to put myself in an awkward situation, where I’d have to explain to Ash where and what I’ve been doing these past three years. He’d call my parents or grandfather, or somebody that I didn’t want to know I was alive, and tell them that I am alive, and that I hadn’t been eaten by a Venusaur, or whatever stupid stories they had made themselves believe.

To my relief and advantage, there was a small hidden alley, beside the pokémon center that lead to a separate street around the back of the center. As I ran down the empty alley, only full of overflowing garbage cans, and a couple of Meowth’s digging for some source of food in the waste, I heard Ash’s voice once again yelling out to me, “Gary! I know you’re here somewhere Gary, don’t try to hide from me. You know I’m better then you at hide-and-seek! Gary!”

Ignoring him, I continued my run to the back street behind the center. As I said, I won’t let anyone stand in my way, ANYONE . . .

***

“Gary! Have you found the boy yet?”

Giovanni’s loud and menacing voice rang in my ears. I paused, not sure wether to reply with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. ‘Yes, you dope you saw him last night, you’ve done half of your job and it’s high time you took credit for it. You don’t let anyone stand in your way, remember?’

“Yes sir, I saw him last night, sir.”

“Good,” He replied, a smirk forming on his lips. “Take your time with capturing him and his little friends. We don’t want to make it too obvious that team rocket is involved in the capturing and possible murder of the pokémon master. I don’t need the authorities on my tail once again.”

“Yes sir,” I said, my body as stiff as a board.

“Watch yourself Gary, that young man has caused us much trouble in the past, and I don’t like repeating past mistakes,” He stared at me with cold eyes, ones that always sent shivers down my spine, and finished, “or for my agents to.”

I gulped silently. I didn’t want to be the next victim of Giovanni’s wrath. “Don’t worry sir. I don’t like repeating mistakes either. I’ll get the job done, and silently to.”

“Good,” He replied. “Now get going. I have other matters to deal with.”

“Yes sir,” I said, giving my usual response, as I left Giovanni’s office, shutting the door behind me.

***

Ash and his friends were staying at the pokémon center in Veridian City. Nurse Joy had told me this. I had gone to investigate my situation this morning. The rain was still poring down, and at this rate I wouldn’t be surprised if Veridian got themselves a flood, but despite the rain I still had to kidnap Ash and his friends for Giovanni.

Nurse Joy had got me a room also in the Veridian pokémon center. Usually the center was full of trainers that had come to Veridian to earn the Earth Badge, but lucky for me there were only a couple here at the moment, very good for me, not as many witnesses . . .

Anyway, I was aware that Ash would sooner or later figure out that I was staying at the same pokémon center as him, but as Giovanni wanted me to do, I was going to take this slowly. Mabey if I got Ash to trust me again, if I could do that it would be a synch. He, his friends, and his pokémon would be mine to present to Giovanni. But still I worried about Ash breaking my cover to my family in Pallet . . . do they still live in Pallet? They could have moved for all I know. Well I was always good at pulling Ash onto my side when we were younger, just as well as he could get me in to trouble, and no, he was not better at hide-and-seek then me, that stupid little liar, I bet he was trying to get me mad.

I had changed from my usual black team rocket uniform to a white long sleeved shirt, and green cargo pants. I always hated the TR uniform. I feel like a goof when I wear it. Around my neck a green and yellow pendant hung from my neck. I hadn’t worn the thing in years, it reminded me too much of my past, and to me the past was well enough left behind me. My sister had given it to me before I left on my pokémon journey. “For luck,” She had said. Yeah, whatever May, some luck it turned out to be. I fingered the circular shape of the pendant gently. I don’t know why I put it back on.

As I reached the doors of the pokémon center, I shifted the black backpack I had slung over my shoulder to the other. ‘All right, here goes everything Gary.’ I walked through the center doors.

“Hello Gary, here’s the key to your room,” Nurse Joy greeted me as she handed me a key attached to a metal ring. “It’s just up the stairs to the right, room 115.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, hiding my impatience. I walked up the stairs, following the simple directions Joy had given me, and stuck my room key into the knob of the door. By shaking, kicking, and cursing the door a number of times, I finally got the old piece of wood to open, and then once I entered forgot to close it again. A simple, but very stupid mistake.

After lifting my heavy backpack from my shoulder, and throwing it down onto the bed, I heard a sharp, surprised “Gary!”

I snapped my head around instinctively answering to the call of my name. There stood that red haired girl, what was her name again . . . I keep on forgetting . . . Misty, yeah that’s it, at the doorway, peering at me quite rudely I might add, what kind of respectable person walks by a person’s room, notice’s the open door, decides to look inside, and then stares at you their eyes wide. Though what kind of person leaves their hotel room door wide open so the world can look in . . . I’m over reacting about things again . . .

Just as I let those thoughts run through my head she adverted her big blue eyes shyly away from mine. I guess my annoyance was shown on my face. “Sorry,” She mumbled quietly, her head facing toward the floor, acting like I had just slapped her in the face for her intruding. “I didn’t mean to cry out like that, I just didn’t expect to see you here.” She stared up at me once again, giving me another glance at the aqua blue of her eyes. They reminded me of the ocean and how it looks normal and plain at first, but beneath it holds its own unique beauty and surprises. And then suddenly I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

“Are you ok? ,” She asked, I guess I had made an awkward face or something to make her ask that, but I could not help overlooking the hint of concern in her voice. I can’t remember the last time someone had spoke to me with concern in their words.

“Yeah, I’m all right,” I responded eventually, feeling a little out of breath. “I just have a bit of headache, that’s all,” I lied.

“Um, ok I’ll leave you alone then . . . ,” She whispered almost like she was afraid to make my pain worse. Gosh, I had never expected Misty to be so gentle. She had always seemed so harsh when I saw her with Ash, though I had never really got a chance to speak with her before.

“Oh, by the way,” She suddenly spoke up when I thought she would leave me alone to my thoughts. “Ash was looking for you for hours that night you abruptly left without a hello or a goodbye,” Misty instantly gave me an angry look I wasn’t expecting. “I think you should talk to him. He’s been thinking you’ve been dead these past three years, and felt guilty about it for the same amount of time, though It’s obviously not his fault. It’s yours if anybody’s.” Is she scolding me? “What kind of person abruptly disappears, leaving his family and his friends thinking you’re dead. Ash was a wreck when he heard about your death. It was suicide, something about poisoning yourself by getting your weedle to sting you with its stinger. But I guess that’s not true! You owe Ash an apology, you stupid, uncaring, horribly disgusting piece of shit!”

Then she stormed out of the room leaving me standing there stunned to utter silence. Guilty? Why should Ash feel guilty? Weedle? I don’t even have a weedle. Anyway, what was her problem? She doesn’t know what I’ve gone through. I ran out the door after her, slamming the door behind me.

******

Where did that come from?

One minute I was concerned for the poor boy, and then the other I was screaming at him like he was my former rival instead of Ash’s. I don’t know why I put him down like that, mabey I was trying to protect Ash, it wasn’t like Gary didn’t deserve it anyway, but still I felt sorry for him . . . he must have a good reason for doing what he did . . . I guess.

I was halfway out the door of the pokémon center now, I had to get out, I didn’t care if it was raining. I was feeling a little dizzy, and needed fresh air. As I walked out the door I breathed in deeply, savoring the smell of rain mingled in with the other smells of the outdoors. I relaxed my body against the brick wall of the pokécenter, and sunk down to the cold sidewalk, hugging my legs to my chest. The dizzy feeling had left from my head and I breathed a sigh of relief, Gary was starting to get to me somehow.

As I closed my eyes leaning my head against my knees letting the sound of the rain mesmerize me, not caring that I was getting soaked through, a hand that squeezed my wrist all of a sudden, startled me. Opening my eyes, I stared into the dark blue ones of Gary’s.

“Go away,” I spat, though not really sure if that’s what I wanted. I shook my arm harshly, trying to free my wrist from his clutching fingers but to no avail, his grip just tightened to a painful point.

“Let go Gary, you’re hurting me! ,” I cried shaking my wrist once again. He let go.

“Sorry,” He mumbled shamefully, looking down at the hand he had released from my wrist. He looked a little flushed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I shrugged. “What do you want? ,” I asked, trying to get him to look at me, but he just kept staring at that hand of his. “Hello?”

“Huh? ,” He stuttered, his eyes rising up to meet mine once again. I couldn’t help but stare at them for a moment, they were nice eyes after all, I could almost read them when I looked hard enough. When he stared back at me I could feel the sadness in them, not just see it, but feel it. I could hear his silent cry for help, I could feel his tears deep within in his soul, the little boy inside of Gary was crying out to me in his own little way because Gary himself was too afraid to cry out himself and right then and there I wanted to throw my arms around him, hold him, and tell him everything would be all right, but I didn’t.

I tore my eyes away from his instead, letting the overwhelming feeling Gary was giving off leave me. His eyes weren’t just nice. They were gorgeous. “I said what do you want?”

He sat down next to me on the rain-soaked sidewalk, the rain making his reddish-brown hair fall over his forehead and into his eyes, little droplets of rain falling from the tips of his hair strands, and running their way down his cheeks, then slowly wetting the shoulder of his shirt sleeve. It looked like he was crying. “You had no right to say what you did,” He said dully.

“What? ,” I cried angrily, my head snapping to face his. Doesn’t this guy know what he’s done?

“I said you had -,”

“That’s not what I meant! ,” I interrupted, screaming louder then I had meant to and he winced. Gary was really starting to get on my nerves. He’s so arrogant!

“Then do tell me what you mean,” He spoke as calmly as he had seconds before. I was ready to punch him in the eye.

“I meant,” I said, clenching my teeth together to stop myself from screaming again. “What do you mean by that? You deserved everything I said to you! What you did, leaving everyone in the dust, was wrong. Your family must have been worried sick about you!”

He turned to me and frowned, his eyes losing the sadness they had once held, and now carrying an evil look, one that was hard to stare back at. I had to use all my strength to keep my stamina. “How do you know it was wrong? It wasn’t wrong, just as much as I know my family was not worried about me.”

A gave him a questioning look. “What do you mean, why wouldn’t they be?” His frown grew deeper. “They never cared about me! ,” He cried. “They couldn’t give a shit whether I was alive or dead!” He looked at me with a sudden hate. “You, you’ve probably had a perfect life, you being a rich gym leader’s daughter and all. Perfect family, perfect life, perfect friends, perfect everything! You’ve likely never had a true hardship in your life. I’d like to see how you’d turn out with parents that keep reminding you how much of a mistake you are, that try there hardest to discourage you from every single dream you have, and a sister that’s perfect in every little way! ,” He suddenly stopped, turning his head sharply away from me, his shouts still echoing in my ears. I reached out to touch his arm then, in some sort of comfort. I never knew his life had been like that too . . .

“Gary I -,”

He shook it off.

“You don’t know me,” He said furiously, holding anger and hate inside him that was so strong it made me fear him, as he stood up from the cold sidewalk. “You don’t know what I’ve been through!” He stormed off through the rain and back into the pokémon center. I didn’t go after him.

To be continued . . .

~Sonya