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All I Can Do
by Moon Momma

Chapter 9

* * * * * * * *

Kunzite awoke, thinking he had heard something. There it was again... The sound of crying. A woman crying. Naru? No; heaven knew they had heard Naru crying often enough over the last several weeks. It definitely wasn't Naru.

The crying continued, very faint. It seemed to be coming from outside. He nudged Zoisite. Grumbling, his partner rolled over.

"Zoisite, wake up. Do you hear something? Someone crying?"

"Not now, Kunzite, I'm sleeping," Zoisite whined, and fell still again.

Kunzite sighed. The early spring night was cold, and his bed was warm, but if something was wrong, if someone was hurt or in trouble outside, he should do something. He got up, pulled on his clothes and an extra sweater, and silently crept downstairs and out the door.

* * * * * * * *

Naru stirred in Nephrite's arms. "Hmm?" he murmured, pulling her closer.

"Did you hear something outside? Someone crying?"

"Noo..." The word disappeared as he kissed her, then moved over her.

The stars still danced, weaving ribbons of light around them....

* * * * * * * *

Kunzite made his way through the moonlit woods, following the sound of the woman's weeping. The night was cold; moonlight reflected off patches of snow and ice that had survived the warming days. Kunzite was about to decide that he was hearing things and he should just go back to bed when he saw her, sitting in a clearing.

She was beautiful in the moonlight, as she knelt on the frosty grass, wearing only a thin white sleeveless gown, sobbing helplessly. Kunzite came to a dead halt. How dare she come here, after the devastation she had caused Nephrite and Naru? Didn't she know that any of them would gladly kill her on sight?

...And why did he feel such pity for her, as she sat there in the cold moonlight, weeping? "What are you doing here? What have you got to cry about?" he called from where he stood.

Topaz turned her amber eyes to him. She looked so sad, like a poor, unloved, forgotten thing. "They love each other. They're happy together."

He knew who she meant; Naru and Nephrite. "No thanks to you."

"I lost the only person who ever loved me... She was stolen from me..." Topaz wept.

"Who was that?" Kunzite asked, more gently than he had intended.

"My mother. It should have been me standing beside her, guarding her, serving her, receiving her love, but the four of you pushed me out of my rightful place. You stole my birthright, you stole my mother from me." She bent over, her face buried in her arms, sobbing bitterly.

Though he was beginning to suspect that he knew, Kunzite asked, "Who was your mother?"

Amber eyes met his again. "Queen Beryl was my mother. You four Lords stole her love from me, and took my place at her side."

Kunzite found himself moving closer to her. "None of us knew she had a daughter, we didn't intentionally push you aside..." He realized, suddenly, what had really been going on. Beryl had hidden her daughter, denied her, pretended she didn't exist. Was it because she was ashamed, or simply didn't want to be encumbered? In any case, it was clear that Topaz didn't realize it was her mother who had pushed her aside, poor unwanted child...

Wait a minute, he told himself. This was Topaz, who had arranged Naru's murder, and forced her to bear Nephrite's son in exchange for her life and then took her baby from her. Still, he found himself moving towards her, kneeling beside her. Poor thing, growing up alone, unwanted, ignored in the Dark Kingdom, no wonder she was crazy....

"I wouldn't have been worthy of a place at my mother's side, anyway," Topaz sobbed. "I'm so much less than she ever was."

All he could think of was his pity for this beautiful, sad creature. He put his arms around her, wanting to give her some slight comfort, to make up for all the pain she had suffered in her long, lonely life. She was warm, soft... different from Zoisite. Her body fitted against his in ways that were different, yet utterly perfect. Kunzite fought to free his mind from what must surely be a spell, but it was so much easier to give in.

"I've put no spell on you," Topaz said, her voice shaky. "That would be truly pathetic, having to put a spell on someone just to force him to show me a little kindness and pity. Have I sunk that low?"

"No, no," he murmured against her ear.

She lay down, drawing him down on top of her. "All I want is the kind of comfort a real man can give me. Just once, I want to know what it's like to be loved and wanted. Please, that's all I ask of you, please give it to me...."

She needed him, in a way he had never been needed before.... "I will." Kunzite pressed his mouth against hers, and forgot everything else....

* * * * * * * *

Zoisite finally gave up on going back to sleep. Kunzite had gone out a while ago, perhaps to investigate the sound he said he had heard. How long had it been? Too long, Zoi thought. Maybe there was trouble. He got up, dressed, went downstairs, and took his coat from the coat rack by the front door as he went out.

There was a sound, not crying but something else, coming from within the moonlit woods. He followed the sound, gradually realizing that it was actually two sounds, one low-pitched, the other somewhat higher. Moaning, but not in pain. And the lower pitched voice sounded too familiar....

Zoisite froze at the edge of the clearing. The moonlight clearly showed the entwined couple, the man with long silver hair, the woman with short orange hair. It was unmistakable what they were doing. Zoisite was too stunned and shocked at the sight of his Kunzite in the arms of that woman to even breathe.

Then Topaz turned her face aside from Kunzite. Her yellow eyes met Zoisite's eyes, and she smiled, that feral, predatory smile, and Zoisite knew he was supposed to see this. He stared, hurt and furious, as the couple finished what they were doing. Then Topaz slid out from under Kunzite, pulled on a thin, white, sleeveless gown, laughed, and ran into the woods.

Though his legs felt weak and limp, Zoisite stalked over to Kunzite and stood over him. Kunzite lay on his stomach, still breathing hard. "How could you?" Zoisite demanded.

Kunzite turned his face towards Zoisite. "She -- I -- you wouldn't understand --"

"Understand?" Zoisite yelled. "Understand? Exactly what is there to understand? You cheated on me, Kunzite! After all these centuries of being faithful to each other, except for... You've cheated on me, and with that -- that monster! Did you forget what she did to Naru? Are you going to let her destroy us too?"

Kunzite sat up and reached for his clothing. Zoisite snatched it up into a bundle, then hurled it into the woods. "I hope you freeze to death!" He started running in the direction Topaz had gone.

"Zoisite! Where are you going?" Kunzite called after him.

"Someone's got to kill her, and it's going to be me." Zoisite kept running, and didn't hear Kunzite say, "No, don't, she's too dangerous."

* * * * * * * *

Zoisite followed Topaz through the trees. The sound of her heavy breathing, mixed with breathless, husky laughter, teased at his hearing, taunting him. She ran into a small, starlit clearing and stopped, facing him. Zoisite ran into the clearing after her. "I'm going to -" he started to shout, then stopped and looked around. The clearing was empty. He conjured an ice-knife into his hand. Warily, keeping an eye over his shoulder, he turned in circles, trying to keep Topaz from sneaking up on him from behind. There was no sign of her.

He stopped turning, wondering if she had run on through the trees after all. Suddenly, arms grasped him from behind, circling his chest and pinning his arms against his sides. The pressure of the embrace forced him to drop his blade. A pair of slender, long-nailed feminine hands spread out across his chest, and a low, seductive voice spoke close to his ear. "You wouldn't be so jealous, you know, if you weren't so insecure. You've never been sure of your hold on him. It scares you that he needed something that you couldn't give him."

Zoisite tried not to let on how she had startled him. "I thought I'd never again kill someone and enjoy it. But I'll enjoy killing you, very much." Despite his efforts, his voice faltered. It was hard to threaten someone who was standing behind him.

"Face it, pretty-boy. He's a man, I'm a woman. It's a very basic, primitive, elemental connection. There are some desires that can't be satisfied in any other way. But you wouldn't understand that, would you?"

"I -" The words couldn't get past the painful lump that suddenly formed in his throat.

"What exactly are you?" Topaz continued. "You're definitely not a woman, but I wouldn't exactly say you're a man, either. Not like Kunzite is, anyway. Hmm, I know. You're a thing to be used."

"Kunzite loves me!"

"That may be, but you can't deny what you saw tonight. He has needs that you couldn't possibly understand, not being the man that he is."

"Stop it!" To Zoisite's humiliation, tears stung his eyes and spilled over onto his cheeks.

Topaz moved her hands over his chest. She was taller than him; when she whispered, her lips brushed against his ear. "I know why you're crying. It's because you know that he doesn't need you, but you're nothing without him."

Zoisite felt as though she were excavating his soul, finding all the horrible little secrets, all the little dreads and doubts and insecurities that he had long been trying to ignore. He cried openly, helplessly. Topaz's grip around his arms and chest kept him from being able to wipe the tears from his face.

"Or," her husky voice breathed into his ear, "are you?"

"Am I what?" he wept.

"Nothing without him."

"I don't - I don't know."

Her hands moved across his chest, caressing him. "I don't think you are."

"What?"

"I think he doesn't fully appreciate what he has with you. He takes everything you have to give, and then casts you off like an old shoe. He cheated on you, Zoisite."

Zoisite's head swam. She was right - No, something was wrong here. It was Topaz who was evil. Kunzite loved him, and was good to him. Or was he? He had been unfaithful....

"But what he doesn't realize," Topaz purred into his ear, "is that you are no more dependent on him than he is on you."

Oh, how he wanted to believe her....

She turned him to face her, still with her arms tightly around him. "You don't need him. You're as much of a man as he is. You can get what you need from someone besides him." She crushed her mouth to his, bruising his lips against his teeth. He had no resistance; he felt as though his bones had melted at her kiss. She lowered him to the ground and straddled him, the sheer white dress hitched up to her hips. "Let me give you what you need...."

* * * * * * * *

"Zoisite?"

"Yes, Topaz-sama?"

"You liked that, didn't you, Zoisite?

"Yes, Topaz-sama."

"You will help me get revenge on those who failed my mother and me?"

"I'll do anything for you, Topaz-sama."

"And you will be well-rewarded for it. Come, my love."

They stood, hand in hand, leaving their clothes scattered in the clearing, and stepped through the black gate that appeared at the edge of the clearing.


Her beautiful lover was with her, the sapphire eyes, the long, luxuriant auburn hair, the strong yet gentle hands, the beautiful face filled with love....

He took her in his arms and kissed her, making a trail of kisses from her mouth to her neck. "I like waking up like this with you," he whispered.

"I like it too," she smiled, and snuggled more deeply into his arms. He was not only her lover, but also her husband now. She felt whole, complete, right. She felt as though she had come home.

A knock on the bedroom door startled them both. "Damn," Nephrite muttered, then called out, "What?"

Jadeite came in, carrying a tray with doughnuts and two glasses of orange juice. Nephrite and Naru sat up, Naru clutching the covers to her shoulders, and Jadeite set the tray down in front of them. Nephrite looked at the tray while Naru snaked an arm out from under the covers and grabbed a pink-frosted doughnut. She was starving.

"What the hell is this?" Nephrite asked.

"Breakfast in bed," Jadeite answered.

Nephrite stared at the doughnuts in distaste. "Jadeite, they've got frosting all over them."

"Your wife doesn't seem to mind."

Nephrite now looked at Naru, who was eagerly devouring her second doughnut, this one frosted in blue. "Naru, we've got to do something about your eating habits."

In answer, she stuffed the rest of the doughnut into her mouth and grinned at him around it. Jadeite laughed, while a corner of Nephrite's mouth quirked up. "You guys are all going to die from all that sugar and fat and all those chemicals you eat," he said in an unconvincing grumble.

"Says the man who can put away a bottle of scotch in twelve hours."

"You exaggerate, Jadeite." Despite his complaints, Nephrite picked up a white-frosted doughnut and began eating it. "Now, if you don't mind, my wife and I would like some privacy."

The smile left Jadeite's face, leaving behind a rather strained look. "Actually, there's an emergency we need to deal with as soon as possible."

"Emergency?"

"Yeah. Kunzite's drunk, and Zoisite's missing."

"Oh, hell," Nephrite grumbled.

* * * * * * * *

Kunzite was sitting at the kitchen table, fumbling with a glass that had just a little bit of whiskey swishing around in the bottom. Jadeite, Nephrite, and Naru sat down with him. "Come on, Kunzite, tell us," Jadeite asked as though for the hundredth time.

Kunzite shook his head, drained the glass, and reached an unsteady hand for the bottle. Nephrite intercepted him, took the bottle, and poured for him. Then he put the bottle on the counter behind him. While Kunzite worked on drinking the refill, Nephrite studied his friend. There was something about Kunzite's expression that he instinctively understood. He tried to pin down exactly what it was, put it into words.

Topaz. That's what it was, Nephrite realized. That peculiar sensation of dazed self-loathing that Topaz left behind in her wake. You weren't sure what had hit you, and you hated yourself afterwards. "Kunzite, was it Topaz?" he asked softly.

Naru snapped her head around to stare at Nephrite, then looked at Kunzite again. The silver-haired man nodded, a look of utter, abject misery filling his face.

"What happened?" Nephrite asked. "Come on, you can tell me."

"No..." Kunzite's deep voice was tight and hoarse. "You'll hate me."

"Kunzite, I don't think anyone should be blamed for what they do when Topaz is involved."

"Even Kenichi?"

Nephrite opened his mouth, then closed it again, while Naru clutched at his hand. Finally he said, "You didn't kill anyone, did you?"

Kunzite shook his head.

"If you tell us what happened," Naru said, "maybe that'll help us find Zoisite. And my baby. If Topaz came back, there must be a gate, and Neph can go through and find my baby --" Then she looked at Kunzite's tear-streaked, miserable face. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "That was selfish -- you're worried about Zoisite, and here I am, going on about --"

"I let her seduce me," Kunzite suddenly said.

There were several seconds of dead silence. "What?" Nephrite whispered harshly.

"I pitied her. I tried to give her the kind of comfort she wanted."

Nephrite felt anger drawing in around him, filling him. "You pitied her? After what she did to Naru?"

Kunzite put his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands. "I pitied her. I tried to comfort her. I let her seduce me. And she had arranged the whole thing so that Zoisite would see it."

Nephrite's anger fled, leaving him feeling cold. "Damn."

"Zoisite saw us. He wouldn't let me explain, just ran off into the woods after her. He said he intended to kill her. That was the last I saw of him."

Nephrite and Jadeite looked at each other, then stood. "Come on," Nephrite said. "Show us where all this happened, and which direction they went in. She might have taken him back with her; maybe we can find the gate."

Kunzite stood, not very steady on his feet. "Wait. I also found out who she is."

The others looked at him. "Who?" Jadeite asked.

"She's Beryl's daughter."

"But Beryl didn't have..." Nephrite trailed off, remembering rumors from so long ago, before Beryl joined the demon Metallia. The Countess Beryl had been seen leaving the Prince's rooms in the early hours of the morning, the Countess Beryl had gone into seclusion on her estate.... "Damn. She did have a daughter. How come none of us knew about it?"

"Beryl must have been ashamed, or just didn't want to be bothered with her. I don't know," Kunzite said. "But Topaz blames the four of us for pushing her aside from her rightful place next to her mother. She's getting her revenge on us."

"And if she wants an ally, like she told Nephrite, Zoisite, and Umino," Jadeite said thoughtfully, "maybe she's also intending to rebuild the Dark Kingdom."

The three men stared at each other. "Let's go," Nephrite said. They started quickly out of the kitchen and through the main room, grabbing their coats from the coat rack near the front door. Naru followed them. Nephrite saw her and said, "You wait here, Naru-chan. We've got to hurry," but she followed them out the door and into the woods. They were all taller than her, and walking fast. Naru hurried, but she couldn't keep up with their long-legged strides. She fell to her knees, a hand pressed against the place where she had been shot. Her chest was burning and she couldn't catch her breath. "Wait!" she gasped.

Nephrite came running back to her. He lifted her in his arms and took her inside. "I said to stay here," he said, settling her on the couch. "I don't want you to hurt yourself trying to keep up with us."

He kissed her, and she clung to him, her arms around his neck. "Please find our baby, Nephrite."

"I'll do my best, okay? Just stay here and wait for us."

She nodded and let him go.

* * * * * * * *

return to Index / go to Chapter 10

The Nephrite and Naru Treasury