The Skunk Parade

On the shoulder of an old dirt road.....

“Oh Heero.”


“Touch me there again, please? Umm. God I love you. Do you love me?”

“Yes Duo, you know I love you.”

“Are you gonna give me what I want then?”

“Duo, don’t wiggle like that...ughhhhhhh. You’re gonna make me come in my pants.”

“Then take them off.”

“I’ll need you to raise off my lap a little.”

“Alright. There. Feel better now?”


“Now give me a kiss.”

“No. You wanted to be on top. Come and take it.”

“God, I love it when you want it rough!”

“I know you do.”

“Oh, you’re going to get it now...ow!”


“My foot’s caught in the seatbelt.”

“Here, let me-”



“I got a cramp in my ass! Let my foot go! Ow! You didn’t have to drop it Heero!”

“Sorry. I told you the back seat would be easier.”

“Yeah, but all your computer crap is back there.”

“We could move it up here.”

“Yeah, then we’d have to move it back to the back seat when we’re done. If the trunk wasn’t so full of all your junk we could put it there.”

“I’m not going to put my CPU in the trunk Duo, especially when the trunk is tied closed with a rope because YOU backed into a pole.”

“Heero, it came out of nowhere.”

“Duo, it was a pole. A pole. It’s not like it jumped behind the car.”


“Fine, fine. I’m sorry. Let’s just forget about it, okay? Now, does that perfect, little round cheek still hurt? If so, I need to make it better.”

“Yeah, it does. It needs some tender, loving care from a certain blue-eyed... do you smell that?”

“Smell what?”

“That. It smells like...oh no. You farted, didn’t you?”


“Nu-uh. You farted! Gross. Get away from me you nasty bastard.”

“Duo, what are you talking about?! I did not fart! You’re sitting on my lap, so you should know.”

“That don’t mean nothing. It could be one of those ‘silent but deadly’ ones.”

“Damnit Duo, don’t be ridiculous-”

“Ow! Stop, you’re making my ass cramp up again!”

“I can’t move my leg! Get up!”

“Will you quit being a... Heero, look outside. You won’t believe this.”

“What are you talking about now? Duo I....What the...”

“Jesus Christ playing hopscotch. How many do you think there are?”

“Well, let’s see: two, three, two, five...around fourteen total. Maybe a few more.”

“Holy damn.”

“No kidding. That’s what you smell Duo.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t.”

“I do now, and I’m very sorry I can.”

“Well, why are there so many?”

“Probably because it’s cool out. Or we probably parked near their homes-”

“Uh, Heero? Those two are raising their tails-”

“Quick! Roll the windows up!”

“AH! God damnit! Heero, it sprayed my tires!”

“Your tires? Duo, it’s going to take weeks to get the smell out of the inside of the car, and you’re worried about your tires?”

“That’s it! I’m backing over each and every one of those bastards! Where’d I put the keys?”

“In your pants pocket.”

“Where are my pants... Heero. I left my pants on the roof of the car from earlier, when we were making out up there.”


“They’re probably all smelly and stunk up and stuff.”



“Damnit! There. Happy now?”

“Heero, you threw your pants on the roof with mine. That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me!”

“Yeah, well, now you don’t have to pout about it. Okay?”

“Okay. Well, what are we going to do now? They’re parading around the car. It’s not like they won’t squirt us if we try to get out, or roll the window down. I don’t want to stay closed up in here all night, babe.”

“Well, maybe if the car rocks enough, it will chase the skunks away.”

“How are we going to make the car rock?”


“Oh, I see. And should I let you, after the pole comment?”

“I said I was sorry. Let me prove how sorry I really am...”

.....and the car rocking did scare them away.