*Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait, all! You know how life gets, though. In any case, let me repeat that all screencaps were taken by Sasha Janre and the comments written on them were by her as well. If you would like to review this fic, please send an email to email@example.com or leave a review at MediaMiner.org. Thank you very much for your time!
This chapter dedicated to my cat, Rosemary. Get better soon, Rosey! Ganbatte yo!*
Mokuba: Yugi! Yugi, I've been looking all over for you! My brother sent me to find you, and he said that it's real important that you bring your Duel Disk right away!
Yugi: What? I can understand him wanting to duel me, but you'd think he'd have a couple extra Duel Disks lying around! Making his guests bring their own seems a bit harsh.
Mokuba: Oh, well, he doesn't actually want to duel you right now. It's just that the Duel Disks have a fatal flaw in them, and he thinks they might explode! He'll be putting out the announcement tomorrow, but he has such a personal grudge against you that he doesn't want anything to happen to you, so he wants you to bring yours in for repairs right away!
Mokuba: My brother sent me to find you, and he said that it's real important that you bring your Duel Disk right away!
Yugi: Wait, so he's okay, then?
Mokuba: ... *raises an eyebrow* That's a trick question, right?
Yugi: ... No?
Yugi: Wait, so he's okay, then?
Mokuba: I wouldn't say he's "okay." All I know is that Seto hasn't been acting like himself lately. I think he's gonna totally lose it!
Téa: I think I saw a porno like this once.
Tristan: *walking down the street rubbing his head* Way to hold back that crowd, Champ.
Joey: Oh, like you helped! *laughing* Then again, you duel worse than my mom! *snickers*
*A/N: ... I can't believe he did a "your mom" joke in a children's movie...*
Joey: Check it out!
Tristan: What's Kaiba's limo doing at Yugi's place?
Yugi: *standing in the Game Shop's doorway waving as the limo pulls away* Thank you, please come again!
Tristan: *runs over* Hey, what was that all about, man?
Yugi: Huh? Oh, Kaiba wanted a Chinese Checkers set, and since he knows me and all, he thought he'd give my shop the business!
Tristan: Well, that was awfully nice of him!
Yugi: Yeah! ^_^
Yugi: It's too much of a coincidence that Kaiba would send for us right after the vision we had at the museum!
Yami: They're probably working together, those scoundrels!
Yugi: Uh, Yami, that's a bit impossible ...
Yami: Anubis's evil knows no bounds!
Yugi: ... Yes, but, there's --
Yami: How dastardly! I didn't think Kaiba would stick to such lows to defeat me!
Yugi: ... I give up. -_-;
Yugi: I sure wish we knew more about what happened back in your past.
Yami: All that matters is that we face the future together!
Yugi: And I wouldn't have it any other way. Are you ready, partner?
Yugi: Good luck hug?
Joey: *running inside* Kaiba's car is outside, so Yugi must be here!
Tristan: *sarcastic* Wow, you're a regular Sherlock Holmes! Did you figure that out all by yourself?
Mokuba: *standing by the elevator, randomly* Hey! Yugi's upstairs.
Joey: Hey! What's goin' on? What're you doing here?
Mokuba: I... live here?
Joey: Likely story... *eyes him suspiciously*
Kaiba: *smiling* *speaking as a voice-over to his simulations in his lab* Welcome! Glad you came to duel, Yugi. 'Cause this time, things are gonna be different.
Yami: *sighs heavily* You say that every time, Kaiba. *twirls the chain of the Puzzle around his finger, bored* You want to actually have a chance this time? Maybe if you bet that it'd take me more than five moves to beat you, then I'd have a challenge!
Kaiba: So is that a deal, then?
Kaiba: *mutters curses*
Not-very-sassy Female Computer: Initiating duel simulation. Calculating player strength. God Cards destroyed!
Kaiba: *laughs happily* What fun! This is so much more enjoyable when I simply program the computer to make Yugi lose! I should have thought of this before!
Kaiba: I hope you brought your Egyptian God Cards. Otherwise this duel isn't gonna be any fun at all!
Yami: Kaiba, I'm sensing the presence of something far more dangerous than you could possibly imagine!
Mokuba: *to himself, over Kaiba's ranting* Knowing Seto's sense of imagination, that really isn't all that difficult, Yugi...
Kaiba: Mokuba! Seal all of the exits!
Mokuba: *resigned* If you say so.
Kaiba: *smiling as he watches the gates slam down; to Yami* Now, Mokuba -- there's someone who behaves reasonably.
Yami: *mentally* Would it be wrong of me to tell him how disapproving Mokuba's being right now?
Yugi: *mentally* Yes, Yami, it would!
Yami: *sighs* You never let me have any fun...
Yugi: *mentally* Something tells me that this duel is not a good idea!
Yami: *relays the message* Kaiba! Why don't you stop thinking about yourself for once and listen to what I'm telling you?!
Kaiba: Let's see... *counts on his fingers* That would be because I don't like you, I don't trust you, and I don't believe a thing you're saying!
Yami: *surprised* Well, hard to argue with that.
Kaiba: You're in no position to be making demands, so shut up and duel! *they unfold their Duel Disks* And may the best duelist win.
Yami: *shoving his deck in* But Kaiba, I'm telling you that I don't want to duel!
Kaiba: *draws his cards and lays some down* Come on, you big pansy, don't tell me you're afraid!
Yami: *draws a card and plays it* Never! I simply think this isn't wise!
Kaiba: Well, la-di-dah!
*Twenty minutes later, Yami creams Kaiba.*
Yami: ...so I'll ask you once again, please let me go! I will not duel you!
Kaiba: *staring at his depleted life point counter* ... Uhh...? Yeah, of course. We'll play some other time, then. *waves vaguely towards the door*
Yami: Thank you. *walks away, as Mokuba thumbs off the lock*
Tristan: Uh, what just happened there, buddy?
Joey: I'm not entirely sure...
Tristan: I guess Yugi's going through with this!
Joey: Kaiba ain't leaving him much choice!
Tristan: You mean, besides saying "no"?
Joey: Sayin' "no"?! The fate of the world's at stake, Tristan!
Tristan: Since when?!
Joey: Since Yuge accepted the duel, that's when!
Tristan: ... *sweatdrops* Right...
Yami: By destroying your Knight, I've activated its special ability, which allows you to play a new beast in its place.
Joey: What?! Yugi's lost it! Why would he let Kaiba play a monster with 2400 Attack Points?!
Tristan: Well, if he didn't, wouldn't the Knight be able to attack him later? And wouldn't he not be able to attack Kaiba's Life Points with it still there?
Joey: ... *stares at him* Sometimes I don't even know who you are, Tristan.
Yugi: *delighted* An Egyptian God Card!
Yami: *blinks, mentally* Of course. What did you think that lightning was about? I was summoning it.
Yugi: Oh... I see! How handy.
Kaiba: Not only am I not afraid of your God Cards, but I'm going to force you to summon all three of them at once! Thanks to my Obligatory Summon Magic Card, you have to bring out every monster in your deck that's in the same category as the one that's on the field already.
Yami: *taken aback* Very well, then, I play two more Egyptian God Cards -- Obelisk the Tormentor and the Winged Dragon of Ra!
*The cards light up, shaking the entire foundation of the Duel Dome as they bring forth light and shadows into the forms of the Gods. Yami screams, and falls to his knees, panting.*
Yami: I'd forgotten... Your duels are like Shadow Games... summoning all three Egyptian Gods within the space of five minutes takes a lot of energy!
Kaiba: *laughs maniacally* Then my plan is working perfectly!! I shall be victorious!
Yami: You've allowed me to assemble the three strongest and most feared creatures in Duel Monsters, Kaiba! A foolish mistake.
Kaiba: *laughs* It's no mistake! My entire strategy was to draw out your three Egyptian God Cards, so I can be the first duelist to crush all of them at once!
Yami: Don't you think it might be a bit more reasonable to try simply beating me first?
Kaiba: Sure, but I'm a busy man, Yugi! I don't have time to be playing games with you whenever I get the whim!
Kaiba: Reveal Trap Card! Pyramid of Light!
Yami: *thinking* So the Pyramid of Light is more than just an ancient artifact! It's also a card!
Yugi: *mentally* Uh, but wouldn't it be even more surprising if we knew of the Pyramid of Light as a card, and then discovered it was a real item? I mean, for all we know, Pegasus printed up this card last week!
Yami: Do you really think Pegasus would do something like that?
Yugi: Um, yeah?
Kaiba: Looks like your so-called unstoppable monsters have been stopped!
Kaiba: *watching the blue pyramid walls go up* See for yourself!
Yami: Um... *looks around* It's all blue. I can't see through it to see whether they're stopped or not!
Kaiba: *groans and rubs his forehead* Geez, you're dense...
*Obelisk reaches for the pyramid wall, but gets electrocuted and pulls his hand back with an unhappy Wookie roar.*
*Slifer and Ra try with the same results, and cry out like pained dinosaurs from Jurassic Park.*
Obelisk: ... *tries grabbing the Pyramid again, and once again draws back with a roar*
*Slifer and Ra repeat their motions again, as well*
Mokuba: Wow. For Gods, those guys sure aren't bright.
Tristan: Ohh, man, not more freaky magic!
Joey: This weird stuff always happens when Yugi duels!
Tristan: I keep telling you we should steal his dueling deck sometime!
Joey: Yeah, but don't tell me you wanna hafta deal with his other half!
Tristan: *groans* I'm really not sure which part is worth it!
Joey: Just hang on, man!
Tristan: *grappling with the railing* Easier said than done, Joey!
*A few moments of struggling and shouting later, their souls are ripped from their bodies. They hover in mid-air for a moment as their bodies fall back to the ground. Don't ask me how the wind suddenly stopped affecting them.*
Tristan: Wow, do I always look that dorky when I'm asleep?
Joey: Well, I dunno 'bout you, but I for one think I look kinda handsome there!
Tristan: You would!
*Moment over, they finally get sucked into the eye.*
Mokuba: *watching everything from up above* This is crazy! *the ceiling suddenly starts collapsing above him, making him cry out and do a hasty reconnaissance before beating it back to the ground floor*
Random Worker Guy: Ah! Mr. Mokuba, sir! Do you think Mr. Kaiba will be all right with you leaving your post like that?
Mokuba: Huh? Oh... well, I guess maybe not... *looks up at the roof as the transport machinery gets smashed* Pity I don't think I can actually get up there anymore, though...
Yami: Yugi... where are you?! *looks up, seething with anger* Kaiba! Do you have any idea what you've just done?!
Kaiba: *chuckles* Well, let's see! I think I've just beaten you! *laughs*
Mokuba: *magically able to see through the Pyramid of Light* Um, am I the only one who thinks that Yugi's probably thinking, "Actually, you've just sealed your own fate"? 'Cause while I have the utmost fate in my big brother... *looks around* Oh, wait, no-one's here. Guess I am the only one thinking that, then.
Yugi: *wakes up inside Yami's Escher print* Hey, wait a sec. This place looks kind of familiar! This is where the Pharaoh's spirit lives! Inside the Millennium Puzzle! I've got to find him so we can reconnect! *looks around* I'm pretty sure that one of these rooms belongs to him... Question is, which one? There must be a million doorways in this place!
Yami: *shows up, hands on hips* "Which room belongs to me?" you ask? Isn't that a bit rude? You just said yourself this is where I live, and yet you claim this place isn't really mine? What, do you think you own it? Is that it? *crosses arms and turns away in a huff*
Yugi: What? No, Yami, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!
Yami: *sniffs* Well, it's a little late for that!
Joey: Tristan, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!
Tristan: It looks like some weird maze! And man, I think you and I are the lab rats!
Joey: Yeah! A weird maze not in Kansas!
Tristan: *rolls eyes* Yeesh, Joey, I heard you the first time! Yes, we're not in Kansas! We were never in Kansas!
Joey: *hurt* Hey, I thought that joke was pretty funny...
Tristan: Well, it wasn't.
Yugi: Hello? Hello? Pharaoh? Pharaoh, are you here? Pharaoh?
Yami Bakura: *jumps out from behind a door* RAAAA!
Yugi: Aeeei! x_x
Bakura: *throws his head back and laughs* It was worth hanging around in this hellhole just for that!
Yugi: Pharaoh? Pharaoh, are you here? Pharaoh?
Yami: ... You know, I have a name, aibou. Calling me by that would make this a lot less difficult.
Yami: You know how I said you could call me by my first name? Well, since I'm really the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle, don't you think it'd probably be more appropriate if you called me that?
Yugi: But, um...
Yami: I just really think it'd be best.
Yugi: Oh. Well, uh, if you're sure...
Yami: You know, since it turns out that I was actually a Pharaoh in ancient times, don't you think you should call me that?
Yugi: ... I guess...
Yami: And since Pharaohs were only a step away from Gods, isn't it about time you started worshipping me?
Yugi: ... sure?
Tristan: *looks up towards the sound* You hear that?
Joey: Yeah! It sounded like Yugi. Come on! *starts trying to jump up towards the ceiling... er... upside-down floor*
Tristan: Uh, Joey? I don't think that's gonna work. *Joey jumps again, and falls screaming towards the other side of the structure* ...or, it might... *blanches*
Kaiba: It hurts, doesn't it, when you put your faith in the Gods and they let you down!
Yami: Speaking from personal experience, Kaiba?
Kaiba: N-no! Of course not! *looks away* Definitely not! I've never believed in those things!
Yami: As you say, Kaiba...
Kaiba: It hurts, doesn't it, when you put your faith in the Gods and they let you down!
Yami: I don't put my faith in the Gods, I put it in the Heart of the Cards! And the Heart of the Cards has never yet failed me! What hurts is when mortals decide to take what is mine!
Kaiba: Let the torture continue with this, the torrential magic of Mystical Space Typhoon! Your facedown card is destroyed!
Yami: "Torrential magic," Kaiba? Even I know that there's no rain in outer space! *proudly* I asked my aibou about it.
Kaiba: *confused and disturbed by that* Er... look, I just play the cards, I don't name them! Take it up with Pegasus, not me!
Kaiba: And if you liked that, then you're gonna love this! Peten the Dark Clown!
Yami: And if I didn't especially enjoy that? What response can be expected then?
Kaiba: I hate to be the bearer of even more bad news, but when you destroyed my Peten the Dark Clown, you activated his special ability, allowing me to summon another Dark Clown to take his place!
Mokuba: I support my big brother and all, but really, I wish he'd stop talking like Yugi had any choice in these things. It makes it sound like he doesn't have a clue.
Yami: *thinking* It's as though when I lose my life points, I'm losing my actual life energy! Who would've guessed it was measured on a scale of 4000?
Kaiba: And now I summon Blue-Eyes White Dragon! Take a good look! It's the monster that's been the bane of your dueling existence ever since our first match. And, now he's back. But he's not alone! *plays another card facedown* Any last requests?
Yami: Well, for starters, you could stop telling such lies about our past duels...
Yugi: *with his hand on the handle* This isn't his room... I know 'cause I've checked all ten thousand of 'em already, and I know where his room is by heart!
Yugi: Who's there?!
Anubis: *chanting* Yuui anuku... saht tobahit... isset wheben eba!
Yugi: Er... Is it okay if I just call you "Yui," then? ^_^;;
*The mummies stumble to a halt and look at each other.*
Random mummy who used to be named "Buikhu": Aww... I thought Anubis said he was used to dead people! He said he was gonna be our friend! *sniffles*
Joey: Yugi! You in here?!
*They see Yugi running at them gibbering, and slow down to a halt.*
Joey: *as Yugi approaches, with great friendliness* Hi! *laughs happily, then "huh?"s as Yugi runs right past them*
Yugi: *already halfway down the hall* TALK LATER! RUN NOW!
Joey: What's wit him?
Tristan: I don't know... It was an awfully strange thing for him to say.
Joey: Maybe he wanted us to go running with him?
Tristan: Maybe... *shrugs* Well, he looked alright, so I'm sure it was nothing important.
*They nod at each other companionably.*
Téa: Whoa! It looks like an earthquake hit this place! *finally notices the ever-so-subtle Pyramid of Light* And what in the world is that thing?!
Grandpa: Well, it's a pyramid, and it seems to be made out of light, so I don't know, maybe it's a giant slide? *rolls eyes*
Téa: ...old people aren't supposed to be sarcastic, Mr. Moto.
Téa: What in the world is that thing?!
Mokuba: That's what I wanna know!
Téa: Mokuba! Is Yugi inside that thing?
Mokuba: He's in there, and so's my brother.
Téa: Yeah, yeah, Kaiba, whatever, but you're saying Yugi's in there?! Oh my God! That's horrible!! We have to do something!
*Mokuba glares at her, then sighs.*
Téa: Mokuba! Is Yugi inside that thing?
Mokuba: He's in there, and so's my brother. *sighs and shakes his head* That brother of mine... always getting into trouble! I bail him out, and I bail him out, and yet he always just keeps on being reckless... *sighs again*
Mokuba: The Pyramid of Light? Wait, rewind a sec! All of this insanity started when my brother played a card that was called "The Pyramid of Light!"
Grandpa: Well, Yugi and Kaiba are inside something from five thousand years ago! And if the myth is true, then Anubis is using it to finish what he started in the past!
Mokuba: This is crazy! Everyone knows myths like that are just fairytales! I mean, I know I was trapped inside a playing card once, and despite all those Shadow Games, and despite this huge pyramid that clearly isn't just another hologram... despite all that, I'm sure there's no such thing as "destiny" and "magic!" And don't give me those looks. Without my brother around, I have to say it for him.
Téa: Actually, I was just going to say that neither of mentioned destinies or magic.
Mokuba: Oh. Well, in that case... you're idiots, too.
Kaiba: Look at the world's best duelist now!
Yami: Oh? So you admit that I'm superior to you, then?
Kaiba: I was being sardonic, you nimrod!
Yami: *smugly* That's not what I heard.
Kaiba: Yes, well, I can't help that you're a moron.
Joey: Yugi, what the heck is goin' on?!
Yugi: We've been drawn into the Millennium Puzzle!
Joey: So this is where your other half lives? Freaky, man!
Tristan: Yeah, no wonder that guy's kinda scary, living in a place like this...
Yugi: We've been drawn into the Millennium Puzzle! And that thing up there is somehow responsible!
Tristan: *looks down* Then what's that down there?!
Yugi: *looks down as well, and takes the Millennium Puzzle into his hands* Oh, you mean this? Well, I'm not sure why I'm wearing it... It doesn't make much sense since we're inside it, but it's always like that in here!
Yugi: That blue one looks like the Pyramid of Light I saw at the museum!
Tristan: Woah, talk about a bad parking job!
Yugi: That blue one looks like the Pyramid of Light I saw at the museum!
Joey: Yeah? Well, it looks like it's beatin' the crud out of your Millennium Puzzle!
Tristan: ...so, who wants to place bets? Ten bucks says the blue thing wins.
Joey: No bet, man, I agree.
Yugi: *wails* GUYYYYSSS!
Tristan: Fightin' pyramids and creepy floatin' eyes... Wonderful!
Yugi: It's crazy!
Joey: Hey, when you hang around with Yugi, this is par for da course!
Yugi: *sheepishly* Well, at least I help keep things interesting... ^_^;;
Tristan: So, any idea what we're up against?
Yugi: Maybe. *they both look at him like they're surprised* I think this all has to do with an Ancient Egyptian sorcerer.
Joey: I knew it was gonna be somethin' insane!
Yugi: He's called "Anubis," the Egyptian Lord of the Dead!
Joey: Lord of the Dead?! Hey wait, doesn't that make 'im a God, not a sorcerer?
Tristan: Now, Joey, you know as well as I do that Gods can only be preserved through playing cards, not mummies!
Joey: Ohh, riight... sorry, I forgot!
Yugi: Centuries ago, he tried to destroy the world, and I'm starting to believe he's trying to make a comeback!
Joey and Tristan: *together* WHAT?!
Joey: But dat makes no sense!
Tristan: If he destroys the world, how's he gonna get more dead people to lord over?!
Yugi: I know... it's all very strange...
Grandpa: The eye that sees what's yet to come / Its vision shall be fulfilled / Unless blinded by events predetermined / Thus light and shadows both be killed.
Yugi: *thinking* What a tight spot... it seems like Yami's supposed to be doomed either way! Though I'm not sure who the "light" person is and who's "dark"... but in any case, unless I'm playing the role of Light while Anubis is Dark, it really doesn't look good for the Pharaoh... and it looks like I've been relegated to the cheerleading section for this match! *sniffles* Poor Yami...
Tristan: Doesn't look like the duel's going too well for your friend the Pharaoh!
Yugi: Yeah, we've got to do something to help him, and all I can think of right now is to head back to Anubis's tomb!
Joey: *voice shaking* You mean back towards the mummies?
Tristan: Hey, come on! We already know we can outrun 'em!
Bakura: *standing behind them* Oh, how droll. Imitating a mummy before going back to face them!
Joey: *jumps* AGH! What're you doin' here, Bakura?!
Bakura: It's amazing how close a connection these Millennium Items have with the Shadow Realm, really...
Kaiba: I came here to win, and stopping's not an option!
Téa: Mokuba, don't you and your brother live here?
Mokuba: *annoyed himself* I'm not his speechwriter, Téa... -_-;
Kaiba: I came here to win, and stopping's not an option! For all the times you humiliated me in a duel, when clearly I should have been champion! For all the times I had to listen to you preach about the Heart of the Cards! *Yami takes especial offense at that* You're going down, Yugi, and my Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon is gonna put you there!
Yami: Kaiba, once again your ridiculously over-inflated ego blinds you to the truth! But since you insulted me so much, I'm going to ignore my own arguments and finish this duel just to pummel you! You're goin' DOWN, biatch!
Kaiba: But that means my Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon is vulnerable to attack!
Yami: *smirking* Why, it's almost like you should have just kept your three Blue-Eyes separate, isn't it?
Kaiba: Would you just shut up about that?!
Yami: Sorry, Kaiba, but my Sorcerer of Dark Magic's mystic powers are so mighty, he can stop the activation of Trap Cards like your Deck Virus and destroy them!
Mokuba: I've never heard someone use "mighty" in that grammar structure before...
Téa: Er, well, Yugi's special like that. ^_^;;
Kaiba: I have an even more powerful monster, compliments of Pegasus! A shiny new dragon! The Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon!
*Mokuba buries his face in his hands.*
Téa: *rubs his back comfortingly* There, there, it's alright... the bad puns will stop soon...
Mokuba: *looks up with teary eyes* Will they, Téa? Will they really?
Grandpa: *awed* Could it be? A card I've never seen before?
Mokuba: Sir, I hate to say this, but you're really out of touch. If you kept up with current duels at all, you would know that many of the cards my brother and your grandson play are almost entirely unknown. Have you even heard of the God Cards?
Grandpa: *narrows his eyes and mutters* Uppity youngsters.
Joey: *skidding to a halt* Hey, what's wrong, Yuge?
Yugi: *shaking* It's weird... Suddenly I feel really weak, guys.
Tristan: Uh, hate to break it to ya, Yugi, but you're always really weak.
Joey: Way ta be sensitive, Tristan!
Tristan: *sweatdropping* Aheh-heh... Yeah, well... ^_^;;
Yugi: It's weird... Suddenly I feel really weak, guys.
Tristan: *looks over near the wall* Check it out! It's some kind of energy stream!
Yugi: *annoyed* Talk about easily distracted...
Tristan: *protesting* Hey! It's shiny!
Grandpa: This thing's putting out energy waves that are making my pacemaker go haywire!
Mokuba: *drolly* Well, maybe you shouldn't stand next to it, then.
Pegasus: Up here! *throws down the ladder; those down below just stare* I'd hurry up!
Mokuba: Yeah, but you're not me! ... *glares at the cheerleaders for staring at him* What? I am a Kaiba, you know.
Mokuba: *up in the helicopter* Pegasus, what are you doing here?
Pegasus: How about we start with a "thank you," you little ingrate? If I hadn't figured out what this whole Pyramid of Light thing was about, you'd all be crushed!
Mokuba: Yeah, but Seto taught me not to say "thanks" to people I actually owe something. Makes me sound indebted. If you want recompensation, I'll write you a check!
Pegasus: You see, Kaiba thinks he got that card from me, when in fact, this has all been arranged by an evil lord who tried to take over the world five millennia ago, and is now back to finish the job.
Grandpa, Téa, and Mokuba: Huh?
Pegasus: I looked it up! Isn't the internet great? ^_^
Téa: *mutters* Pegasus on the internet... that scares me.
Pegasus: I just love Funny Bunny fanfiction! I go by the pen name WhiteEars. ^_^ *makes a V-sign for bunny ears over his head*
Grandpa, Téa, and Mokuba: ... o.o;; *edge away slowly*