I lie awake at night
See things in black and white

The moon shone brightly in the sky as it cast it’s reflection across the lake. I had long ago been relieved of night duty but I was still awake. I lay on my back with my arms behind my head and stared into the night thinking about the past few weeks spent here in the Digi-World.

Memories rushed through my mind from when I first met Motimon to when he first digivolved into Mega Kabuterimon. All of the images were in black and white, as all the past should be.

I’ve only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind

For some reason my memories suddenly come in colour. I see a patch of short, spiky, blonde hair and bright azure eyes like no other. He’s wearing a green sleeveless turtleneck and rolled up blue jeans. He reaches for my hand and leads me away from the angry Tyrannomon and towards the group. It than switches to the two of us in a well and holding our tags to the wall and watching our crests swirl around us. I think it was at this time that you made me blind, blind with your love.

I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way

I wish that I knew if you felt the same way for me but it’s so hard. You hardly ever show much emotion and when you do it’s always anger. Anger at Taichi for being so stupid and putting our lives at risk. Sometimes I feel like you and Taichi are hiding something from the rest of us. Like the two of you have moved up a couple of notches in your relationship but I’m not completely positive yet. I sure hope not. You see, I wish you’d look at me the same way you look at him sometimes. Just once, please look my way...

I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start

I look towards your sleeping form. You’re holding Takeru who has his head nuzzled under your chin. Your face is so peaceful and for once it holds a smile. I turn away from the sight as a tear escapes from my eye. I wish you’d hold me and love me like that. Takeru is very lucky to have such a great brother like you. I guess I could even say I’m jealous of you Takeru. I wish I had someone to wipe my tears away and tell me it’s alright. Someone to hold me when I’m scared and someone to love me unconditionally.

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

I don’t think I’d ever tell you this, but you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen. With your blonde hair, blue eyes and slim figure, I just can’t think of another word to describe you. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t only love you for your looks but also for the little things. The way you play your harmonica, your tough attitude and the way you treat others. You treat me like your equal while the others treat me like a little kid. Sure sometimes you might crack a joke about me but you always apologize afterwards, and you always mean it.

I used to write your name
And put it in a frame

For that brief time when we were all at home searching for the eighth child is when I’d miss you the most. There was no way I could contact you since I didn’t have your phone number of e-mail address. I guess I could have asked Taichi but I was afraid that he might ask why and than I’d respond with something stupid and end up spilling my secret. One of the things I did to pass the time was to write you name, over and over, on a single piece of paper. Eventually the paper became unreadable as the name cluttered the whole sheet but for some reason I kept it. I have it in a frame by my bedside. My parents just thought it was a piece of abstract art that I created. I guess you could say that huh?

And sometimes I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall

There was this one night when I was just lying down and thinking, kinda like tonight, when I swear I heard you call for me. I looked all over for you but I couldn’t find you. You kept calling my name, like you were taunting me. It sounded so close, like you were in the room with me but than the calls stopped.

You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile

A soft breeze blew down the back of my neck and I turned around swiftly to see what it was. It was you. You stood behind me and smiled. You appeared to look the same except you were transparent. I tried to ask you why but you put a finger to my lips and shushed me. You stayed for a while that night, not saying anything, but enjoying the scenery. I enjoyed just watching you until daylight started to pour through my window. You frowned than turned towards me. “Good bye Koushiro,” you said before vanishing into thin air. I still don’t know if it was a dream or not, because I don’t remember ever falling asleep. I personally like to think that it wasn’t.

And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time

I furiously shook my head, attempting to drive all the memories out of my head. To keep my mind off them, I opened my trusty pineapple laptop, but for some reason I just couldn’t concentrate on doing anything on it. I sighed and than put it away. There’s no reason for me to waste the batteries. I looked around the campsite to find everyone asleep, even Taichi who was supposed to be keeping watch. My eyes stopped when they fell upon Yamato again. He lay in the same position as before, Takeru included. It was actually quite a beautiful sight, sweet brotherly love as Patamon would put it. I wonder when the time will come when I’ll finally gather all my courage and tell you how I feel. What will I say? Hmm... I guess I still have to ponder about that.

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

You’ll probably never know how much I love you but I love you like no one else could ever love you. I’ve never felt this way for nobody else. It’s a warm fuzzy feeling inside me. Oh Yamato, maybe someday you’ll tell me you love me too. I don’t really care when, just as long as it happens. You see, I need you to be there for me. To talk to me and to listen. I want you to feel like you can open up to me and I’ll do the same. We’re both alike in many ways and I think that we can help each other. Just let me try and I know you’ll never regret it. I love you Ishida Yamato.

Oh my pretty boy
Say you love me too