It was a beautiful day outside Colintos City. Across the lake, the tall peaks of the city could be seen. But on this side of the lake, a lesson was in progress... At least, someone was attempting to teach someone something...
“...Had been a place much accustomed to usurpation and conquest... The Sorcerers of...”
“Carrot!”
“Hmmm... I’m listening...”
Carrot began to giggle. Apricot frowned. “Carrot, would you *please* pay attention to your history lesson!”
“Sorry, Mom,” he said distractedly, “but you can’t expect me to pay attention to a book with no pictures of pretty girls in it!”
“Carrot, there are a great many good books with no pictures in them at all,” replied his mother indignantly.
“In this world, maybe, but in my world,” mused Carrot, “books would be nothing *but* pictures.”
“Your world,” said Apricot, “don’t be silly, Carrot.”
A veritable light bulb went off in Carrot’s head, and he pulled his brown cat towards him. “Hentai Cat!” he said. “In my world, nothing would be what it is, and everything would be what it isn’t...” The cat just meowed. “And in my world,” he continued, “you wouldn’t say ‘meow’ you would say, ‘Yes, Carrot-san.’” The cat mewed again. “Oh, but you would,” Carrot replied convincingly. “You’d be just like people, Hentai Cat.”
Jumping down from the tree, Carrot continued. “In my world,” he sang, as the music began, “cats and rabbits would reside in fancy little houses, and they’d dress in shoes and hats and trousers. In a world of my own... All the flowers would have very extra-special powers... There’d be new birds... Every one would have a dozen concubines... er, bluebirds... Lost my place in this sooong.... I keep wishing it could be that way, ‘cause my world would be a wonder land...”
Just then, a white rabbit who looked suspiciously like Chocolate came wandering by, whistling. She hopped across the stream where Carrot had been sitting. Hentai Cat meowed in alarm.
“Oh, don’t be silly, Hentai Cat, it’s just Chocolate as a rabbit with a... watch!”
“Oh, my whip and Gestapo hat!” cried the rabbit. “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!”
“I wonder what Chocolate could be late for...” Grumbling under his breath, Carrot began to run after the rabbit. “I can’t believe I’m doing this... Oh, Miss Chocolate! Wait for me!”
Dashing down the path, Chocolate cried, “No time to say hello, good-bye, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!”
“Maybe she’s heading to a party!”
The rabbit dashed through a hole, grumbling something about ‘dammit, my boots,’ just as Carrot and his cat approached the opening.
“What a weird place to have a party, eh, Hentai Cat?” He began to push his way into the hole. “D’you think they have cute girls underground...?” he asked without regrets.
The ground suddenly disappeared form beneath Carrot’s knees and he began to fall. “Good-bye, Hentai Cat, good-bye!” he called as he toppled through the air.
Presently, he slowed down and began to tumble pleasantly downwards. “Well,” said Carrot thoughtfully, “after this I shall think nothing of being thrown through the air by an evil Sorcerer...” The tunnel was quite dark, and strange, trippy music was playing. Carrot evened out so that he was falling upright. The light in the tunnel began to change colors. A huge grandfather clock chimed as he fell into a rocking chair.
“Ah, this is the lif-” he began, before he was tipped out of the chair and began to fall once again. “Dude,” he said, looking down, “what if I fell right through the center of the earth ...”
Painfully, Carrot hit the ground and saw the Chocolate Rabbit running down the hallway. “Hey, Chocolate, wait!” he cried.
He followed her down a hall, until he was stopped when the rabbit went through a small door at the end of the hall. He opened door after door only to find that they kept getting smaller and smaller. Grumbling, he finally crawled through the smallest door, only to find himself in a panel walled room. “Curiouser and curiouser,” he murmured. Then he noticed that the bunny had just dashed through a curtained exit in the wall.
Dashing over to the red curtain and throwing it back, he found a tiny door. When he tried to turn it, the door let out a loud groan.
“Whoa, dude, sorry!” said Carrot
“That’s right all, but gave you me a turn quite!” said the familiar-sounding doorknob.
“Oh! I know you!” said Carrot. “You’re that weird body builder sorcerer...”
“Quite!” said the doorknob in a Norwegian accent.
“Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got to get through and find my teammate Chocolate, who I think has been turned into a rabbit.”
“Sorry, impassible that is!” replied the doorknob grimly.
After a moment’s laboured deciphering, Carrot responded. “Dude, I think your English is suffering. You mean impossible.”
“Oh, no, impassible I mean! Nothing impossible is!” said the sorcerous doorknob. “Why don’t try you the bottle the table on?”
“The bottle the table on?” asked the befuddled boy. At that moment, a glass table and a bottle fell from the sky.
Dashing over to the table, he picked up the bottle.
“The directions direct you should in the right direction,” advised the doorknob.
“Um... drink me,” read Carrot. “OK!” He drank it without another thought. “Ramen noodles!” he said at the first sip. “Chocolate ... Tira misu... yum!” Then he noticed his size. “Aw, man, what happened!”
“Like a light almost went out you did,” said the doorknob, laughing.
“This is no fair!” cried Carrot. “Do you realize how small my -”
“You have the key got, jah?” interrupted the handle.
“Huh? Key?”
“Yes, locked I am.”
“Dammit!” said Carrot.
“And key on table is!” The key appeared. He tried to climb up to get it, but kept sliding down.
“Box the try now,” advised the doorknob.
“Um, OK,” said the tiny kid, picking up the box that had appeared at his feet. “Eat me,” he read. As he took a bite of the cookie, he suddenly began to grow at a huge rate. In no time a all, he had bumped his head on the ceiling. “Ow!” he moaned as he began to cry. He cried and cried until the room was filled with tears. At the lock’s advising, he drank what was left of the shrinking potion, shrunk, and fell promptly into the bottle.
The sorcereous doorknob opened its mouth to take a breath, but only swallowed Carrot, the bottle, and a lot of salty water.
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