Ami-chan's Crazy Adventure By: Raberba girl raberbagirl@mail.com Hi! I'm Mizuno Ami. Everyone calls me Ami-chan. USAGI: Ami-chan! Help me study! No. Usagi suddenly dies an untimely death. And everyone rejoices. EVERYONE: YAY! Ding-dong, the blonde is dead! U-sa-gi, the blonde is dead! Ding-dong, the stupid BRAT is dead! Anyway. . . I'm supposed to have a 'crazy adventure' right now. I don't know why. . . MAKOTO/MINAKO/REI: Hi Ami-chan! Hi. MAKO/MINA/REI: We are going to act cool, because this is either Sailor Moon or Sailor Moon R! Right. . . You guys just do whatever you want. . . MAKO/MINA/REI: And now we are going to act like total idiots because this changed to either Sailor Moon S, Super S, or Stars! REI: Oh no! Our Queen is dead! MAKO/MINA: OH NO! And the three of them commit suicide to be with their 'one and only', to quote Minako in the translated Stars manga. Well. . .now it's just me and the Outers. HARUKA/MICHIRU: We're gay! Um. . .I figured as such. . . *sweatdrop* Haruka and Michiru go off to do it, and are killed by a murderous duck who came out of the ocean. Hm, I wonder who's going to die next. CHIBIUSA/MAMORU: Hi! We are the exalted Queen's husband and daughter! That's nice. MAMORU: I am her slave, even though I'm King, and she's only a stupid Queen! CHIBIUSA: And I love her, even though I torment her and try to get Daddy to make out with me! MAMORU: ???? *He's so clueless that he never realized this.* CHIBIUSA: Wait a minute - why are all these people dead'! MAMORU: *gasp* No! Usagi, my love! He then stands on a lamp pole to give a sad farewell speech, falls off, and is killed. CHIBIUSA: No! My lover! I can't live without you! I'd rather go to Hell with you than keep living without you! That line sounds familiar. . . And Chibiusa kills herself too. That was lovely. *looks disgusted* LUNA/ARTEMIS/DIANA: Oh no! The sailor senshi are dead! The killer duck is so terrified by Diana's dubbed voice that it kills her. ARTEMIS: Diana! No! I will avenge her! He gets in a fight with Killer Duck, and of course gets killed too. LUNA: I will pray to the Moon's Crystal Prayer Pillar to give us strength! She starts praying. Sailor Saturn's glaive is leaning on the wall. The rabid Duck is running around, crazy and foaming at the mouth, and bumps into the glaive, which falls and slices Luna in half. I think I'm going to throw up now. . . HOTARU/SETSUNA: Hi Ami-chan! Hi - you're not going to be killed in a horrible death and become two more mutilated bodies lying here, are you? HOTARU/SETSUNA: Of course not! We're the only cool characters on Sailor Moon! SETSUNA: However, stupid Princessey Queen Person Sissy Serenity banished me to the Time Gates for all time. You know, she is dead. SETSUNA: Yeah, but that blonde WITCH'S mom put a curse on me so that I die if I leave. HOTARU: Oh, poor Setsuna-chan! And Sailor Pluto is condemned to guard the Gates for all Time. Oops! We forgot about the Three Lights! SEIYA/TAIKI/YATEN: Hi! The rabid Killer Duck bites Seiya and Taiki on the leg, and they go mad too and die. YATEN: ....... That duck just killed my brothers. HOTARU: Oh well! YATEN: It's a very cute duck. DUCK: Quack! Well, for my adventure, how about we save Crossroads from the threat of the evil Killer Duck? HOTARU: Sure! YATEN: It's still a very cute duck. Mercury Star Power, make-UP! HOTARU: Fwssssshhhhh! (It's a sound effect!) She transforms to Sailor Saturn. YATEN: *pulls out a rifle* (Like Moose2's!) Shabon Spray! DUCK: Quack! HOTARU: Death Ribbon Revolution! Ami, Hotaru, Yaten, Setsuna, and Duck teleport before the planet blows up. YATEN: Hotaru, you idiot, you blew up the Earth. HOTARU: *starts to cry* DUCK: Aw, it's okay! You're still a sweet girl! HOTARU: ^_^ She gives Duck a hug. SETSUNA: What planet are we on, anyway? YATEN: It's Jurai. (Again!) Well, since Crossroads doesn't exist anymore, I guess it's safe to say that we saved it from Duck. YATEN/SETSUNA: *shrug* HOTARU: *still hugging Duck* And the four remaining cool characters from Sailor Moon have a happy picnic on Jurai with their new friend, Rabid Killer Duck. THE END