Mystery Science Theater 10,000" (Season 2) Episode 5: B.I.G. Trouble By: Chibi X (A Sailor Moon fic) MSTED by Lissa Edited by Tristan This story is a work of fiction and was made by Chibi X. Any connections with real people is strictly coincidence. This is for entertainment only. Mystery Science Theater 3,000 is copyrighted and property of Best Brains, INC. Legend of Lemnear is also not mine and Satoshi Urushihara owns it. Sailor Moon is also not mine. Jamie is Myasuki Masaki's. Slayers is not mine. It is owned Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi, Kodakawa Publishing....or so it says on my TV box. Pokemon Is not mine but it is kick ass. B.I.G. TROUBLE and it belongs to Chibi X and he can keep it. I don't mean to offend Chibi X. If I did, I would be saying a lot more. Begin theme song ( Sung to the MST3K song) __________________________________________________________________________ In the FAR and distant future Jurusei Empire A.D. Was a girl named P.J. (Jamie: Jamie!) Very different from you and me. (Jamie: Damn right!) She spent all day draining energy For the negaverse! Then a genius name Washu and her kid Ryoko Screwed up and teleported her into space! Jamie: You incompetent idiot! Washu: We'll send her cheesy fanfics. The worst that we can find! (la-la-la) She'll have to read and watch them Until she blows her mind! (la-la-la) Now keep in mind she can't control When the fanfics begin or end. (la-la-la) She'll try to keep the remainder of her sanity With the help of her "friends"! -Zweeeeoooo- ANIME ROLL CALL Lemnear! (I'm going to kill someone!) James! (Jesse?) Amelia! (This is very unjust!) If you're wonder how she stays alive through all these cheesy fics! Just keep in mind that its an MST And that you should just relax for Mystery Science Theater 10,000!!!!!!!! _________________________________________________________________________ (On the ship CUTIES, Jamie and James are sitting on the couch sipping wine. Lemnear and Amelia are sitting near the table eating a pizza.) JAMES: I miss Jesse!!!!! JAMIE: I'm sick of hearing that. We could be worse off. I mean today is a nice day it's about ten we haven't had to read any horrid fanfics. Life is cool. WASHU: And the phrase of the day is horrid fanfics. LEMNEAR: (pulls off the cheese and sets it aside.) Point being? JAMIE: Don't get her mad. AMELIA: THIS IS VERY UNJUST! WASHU: As Jamie said, it could be worse. JAMIE: Yes it could be... what are you planning? WASHU: Oh calm down. Things could be worse. I could give you another fic by Collin Verious.... (Everyone shivers) So I decided Chibi X would be better. JAMIE: Hmmmm there's a new author... LEMNEAR: Which means we are about to enter hell... (Klaxons blair) ALL: NO!!!!!!!! (Everyone trudges from the living room and into the theater. They take their normal seats as the fanfic begins.) JAMIE: At least it's not a lemon... JAMES: I have a feeling we will soon hope it was. > >This is Episode I of my three-part "Sailor Moon vs. Rap" series. AMELIA: Sailor moon verses Rap? JAMIE: Definitely original. LEMNEAR: I have a feeling Mian was right about entering hell. >I >really don't like rap (except for Snoop and Wu-Tang), therefore >I'm lashing back at the music of the ghetto with this. JAMES: How is this going to hurt them? JAMIE: It could be worse......... >A few notes, this >takes place in season 1, Zoycite is a girl (I like her better like >that), and Sailor Venus has joined. Enjoy! Now, let's begin . . . Jamie: She acts the same in either sex. Amelia: Maybe he doesn't like guys and guys together. > >B.I.G. TROUBLE Amelia: Haha. > >(featuring Biggie Smalls) > >By the amazing, spectaluar, sensational...Chibi X JAMIE: A big burst of EGO here. LEMNEAR: Why do I think of Oscar???? Amelia: (looks at her strangely) Umm.... Why do you? > >Scene 1-(Serena and co, are wandering through the mall.) James: Who's co? Jamie: company, idiot > >SERENA: Hey! What's that new store over there? (Jamie rolls her eyes.) Lemnear: Most likely a negaverse trap if it's new. Jamie: Can't anyone get a new idea; Maybe like take over an old store. > >LITA: Oh, I've checked that out before. It's called "Sir Rapsalot's >Hip-Hop Hood". (All stare at screen.) Jamie: Washu? This hurts bad.... > >RAYE: Ugh. Rap really blows the big one. I prefer orchestra. Lemnear: At least they got the character's personalities okay. > >AMI: So do I. "Rap" is SO nonmusical and bass-ridden. Jamie: Why are they using the Japanese spelling of Amy? > >MINA: Let's just look in for a minute. All: MINA! Amelia: Mina loves to shop, but rap? > >LITA: You really don't want to waste your time in that shithole. Jamie: What????? Lemnear: Man they do cut a lot in the dubbing. > >LUNA: You girls should clean up your mouths. You talk like a bunch of >drunken sailors. Lemnear: Haha ha great pun... James: But aren't they sailors?????(starts to snicker) (Jamie smacks him with a red fist. He falls out of the seat out cold.) Washu's voice: Jamie, control the energy blasts. Jamie: oops. > >ARTEMIS: And what the hell is wrong with that, goddammit?! Amelia: Clutzcat too! Jamie: This is bad. > >LUNA: Hopeless. It's all so hopeless . . . (All but James nod.) > >(A salesperson barks a pitch to the girls. He's wearing a "Sir >Rapsalot's" tag.) (James crawls into his seat.) > >SALESPERSON: Yo, bitches! Wussup in yo' hood? Come on in an' check out >our funky-ass beats, homegirls! Amelia: My god... It's unjust to talk like that! Jamie: No way in hell. Lita, Raye, and V-babe would not let anyone talk like that to them or the Moon Princess. > >MINA: C'mon! What could it hurt? > >RAYE: Your eardrums . . . Lemnear: A bit of light humor???? > >(The girls walk in to see the store decorated like a ghetto street.) Jamie: Ewww. Does that mean there's garbage everywhere? Lemnear (Lita): It's just a store. It's not need me cleaning it. Jamie: She's clean, but I think she'd have a heart attack if she saw the ghetto streets. > >SERENA: Uh, nice decor. > >LITA: Let's book. I wanna check out the new releases at Alternative >Station. > >AMI: "Alternate what?" > >RAYE: "Alternative Station", a music store for heroin-addicted >whiny-asses Jamie: It is not! And second this is coming from a girl who wrote two alternative songs. >[NOTE: I really do like alternative, but I'm just telling it >like it is. -Chibi X] Amelia: I hope there aren't anymore of these disturbing notes. Jamie: I'm not a whiny-ass or heroin addicted. Neither are any of my friends! > >LITA & SERENA: Is NOT! > >MINA: This place DOES suck. I'll go to Alternative Station with ya. Lemnear: Is Mina always this negative? Jamie: I've never heard her talk like that unless we were killing some negatrash. James: Aren't you Negatrash? Jamie: (glaring) You want to get hit again. > >(The girls leave, but fail to notice that salesperson's eyes flash red. Amelia: (Jumps from her seat and throws a fireball at the screen.) It's an unjust creature! (The fireball bounces back at James, Jamie, Lemnear, and Amelia. It's about to hit them when it stops and vanquishes.) Jamie: Amelia? Don't do that again. >He walks to the back room and locks the door. He peels off his skin and >discards it on the floor. Lemnear: Nasty. Jamie: We don't need skin to do that........ >Underneath the mask of the salesperson lies . >. . Biggie Smalls, the Notorious B.I.G.!) All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! > >BIGGIE: Hahaha! I faked my death and opened this rap music store and no >one suspects a THING! Jamie: No one but security who's watching you as they eat donuts... >Now my plan for world domination can begin! Lemnear: Why can't the negaverse ever strike in America? They'd be better off there. Jamie: The Sailor Scouts would find away over there. >Bwahahahaha! Jamie: (Looks around nervously.) Naga is gone, right? > >Scene 2-(In the Negaverse, Queen Beryl gazes into her crystal ball at >the Notorious BIG.) Lemnear: Why would she care about an American rapper? Amelia: How did he get to Japan? > >BERYL: ZOYCITE! MALACHITE! Come here IMMEDIATELY! James: And bring me a cold one! > >(They nervously approach her throne.) Lemnear: They've never been afraid of her. > >MALACHITE: Y-yes, queen? What troubles you? Jamie: Malachite has never been that much of a P.... Lemnear: Language! > >BERYL: Look into the crystal ball and see. Jamie: You are getting sleepy... Lemnear: Hey! There's Waldo. > >ZOYCITE: Hey, that's the rapper, the Notorious BIG! But isn't he dead? James: Wow the Negaverse listens to rap. Jamie: They do not. > >MALACHITE: I thought he was called Biggie Smalls. Amelia: Who cares what his name is! It's unjust! > >BERYL: Whoever he is, he has great amounts of Nega-energy within him. Lemnear: Figures. > >ZOYCITE: So, why is this our problem? Jamie: Well you collect Nega-energy, therefore it's your problem. > >BERYL: Hold your TONGUE, insolent bitch! All: (gulp) Jamie: She's never said that before..... >He ALSO is a portal directly >into the Negaverse! Lemnear: It shouldn't matter. Just the fact of the energy it's there job. Jamie: A portal can't be in someone. James: This has the worse plot..... > >ZOY & MALA: Oh. James: Who's Mala? (All shrug.) > >BERYL: I want you to observe him first. Amelia: Why? >Don't do anything drastic until I give you the order. > >MALACHITE: Yes, my queen. > >Scene 3-(In a shady, undetermined location, Biggie is giving orders to >the Ghetto Crew, hi own squad of destruction.) All: Hi! > >BIGGIE: Yo, y'all mudda fuckas is gon' be doin' a li'l detroy th' city >action fo' me a'ight?' (Amelia faints.) Jamie: What the hell? > >NAMELESS HOOD RAT 1: Yo, B! I kin dig it. > >NHR 2: Well I can't. Biggie, when you gonna pay up? I need some bones ta >buy my shit! James: Buy shit? Lemnear: Didn't know you had to buy it with bones. > >BIGGIE: Y'all worthless bitches'll get y'all's cash when ya do ya damn >WORK! Now get out my damn crackhouse an' destroy da mutha fuckin' CITY, >G's! Jamie: Amelia is going to be out most of this fanfic.... > >(The group runs out, yelling like animals.) Lemnear: (NHR 198) MOOOOOOOO! James: (NHR 56) ROAR!!!!!!!!!! Jamie: (NHR 2) QUACK!!!!!!!!!!! > >Scene 4-(The gang is all at Raye's temple. Serena is reading the latest >issue of "Sailor V", Ami is working on her computer, the rest are >chatting.) > >SERENA: WAAAH!! It's so SAD! Sailor V and Tuxedo Jack are breaking up. >*sniff* Jamie: I thought it was Kaito Ace? > >RAYE: (Obviously pissed off.) Thanks a LOT, meatball head! I haven't >read that one yet! James: Not like it wasn't obvious why Serena would be crying. > >MINA: Aw, c'mon guys. Don't start fighting AGAIN. Lemnear: Hey they're normal again.... > >RAYE: Mina, she just RUINED the ending! > >LUNA: A comic book is nothing to get so upset about. > >ARTEMIS: Yeah, girls. "Release the peace," I always say. Jamie: He does not... (Amelia wakes up...) Amelia: What did I miss....? Lemnear: A bunch of pointless swearing... > >(The TV program that was on is cut short by an emergency news bulletin.) James: When was the TV on? > >NEWS ANCHOR: We interrupt this pointless crap Amelia: His job is pointless. >to give you more in a different format. Lemnear: Everyone is horribly negative in this. >A large group of people, claiming to be working for >the now deceased rapper, the Notorious BIG, are ravaging the city. Riots >have broken out downtown, coupled with incidents of arson in the slums, >like anyone cares. Jamie: This sucks. >*ahem* Keep watching news channel 8 for updates. > >LUNA: Oh my! > >AMI: We had better check it out. I'm registering high levels of >Nega-energy where the riots are. James: Does her computer have that long range sensors? Jamie: Who knows? > >SERENA: This looks like a job for Sailor Moon! MOON PRISM POWER!! > >(She transforms into the short-skirted champion of justice, Sailor >Moon!) James: (beginning to drool) It isn't that bad; It's shorter than Jesse's skirt.... > >Scene 5-(Biggie and his mob are wreaking havoc downtown. People are >running away, scared for their lives. The Sailor Scouts arive on the >scene, ready to kick some ass.) > >BIGGIE: Wuz up?! Who da fuck is you bitches? Jamie: (Is getting really mad) This is ridiculous... Amelia: That's such an unjust greeting Lemnear: Everything that has to do with this fanfic writer is unjust. > >SAILOR MOON: I am Sailor Moon! I wil right wrongs and protect the >innocent from your explicit lyrics! All:??? Jamie: That was new. > >SAILOR MARS: Oh, yeah. THAT'LL scare him off! James: So many short skirt girls. > >ARTEMIS: Teamwork, ladies! > >SAILOR JUPITER: I'll set him straight. JUPITER THUNDER CRASH!! > >(She blasts him, but the energy is absorbed into his layers of fatty >goodness. Jamie: Fatty goodness? Lemnear: Who are we talking about? A rapper or a butterball turkey? >He then blasts the Scouts back with a barrage of energy >beams.) James: Who knew a rapper could do that? > >BIGGIE: Yo, take THAT! HEY, when di I start shootin' off lasers!? Lemnear: That's what we were wondering... > >SAILOR VENUS: (On the ground, struggleing to get up.) Alright, you tubby >bastard. You're gonna get it! > >SAILOR MERCURY: Leave some for me, Venus! MERCUYRY BUBBLES... > >VENUS: VENUS CRESENT BEAM... James: There once was a woman from Venus who had a very large.... Lemnear: (pulls out her sword) What were you saying? James:... > >MERCURY: BLAST!! > >VENUS: SMASH!! > >(Biggie takes the attack and stumbles backwards.) > >BIGGIE: Hell, naw! You is only gangin' up on me cuz da MAN wants ta keep >me down! I'm outta here! Amelia: Who understood that? Lemnear: That made absolutely no sense. > >(He teleports away, looking amazed at his own power.) > >MARS: Dammit, I didn't even get a hit in! > >LUNA: Calm down. You know, he didn't even look aware of his own powers. Jamie: What gave you that idea? > >MOON: Ya think he's from the Negaverse? > >JUPITER: No, he's from Brooklyn. And the next time we see him, I'm gonna >kick his fat ass! James: How would she know? > >Scene 6-(In the Negaverse, Malachite and Zoycite are watching the >Notorious BIG in one of those damn-cool crystal balls.) Amelia: damn-cool crystal balls..(smoke is pouring from her ears) Jamie: (pours some cold water which is pulled out of nowhere because it is un-realistic cuteness on Amelia.) (Amelia collapses.) > >MALACHITE: Look at him GO. He's STILL eating. You know, Zoycite, the >queen said that he IS a portal to here. James: His point is? > >ZOYCITE: She must have meant the potal is on him somewhere. Now, let's >get down to some more...important business. Lemnear: (Zoycite) Do I look less manly in this gray suit?? > >MALACHITE: (Innocently.) What are you talking about now? Jamie:...oh no. > >ZOYCITE: (Sexily) You KNOW what I need. Lemnear: (hopefully) Energy... > >MALACHITE: Uhh... James: Just say no to the he-she. > >(In the crystal ball, you can see BIG swallow a whole sub sandwich in >one bite. Jamie: Is he related to the coneheads? >It squeezes down his throat and into the Negaverse portal in >his belly. The poratl opens right over Zoycite and Malachite.) > >MALACHITE: ...I don't know about this Zoyc- Hey! What the hell is that?! > >ZOYCITE: Look out, you dumbass! James: That's a good way not to get sex... > >(The sandwich falls and konks Malachite right in the noggin. Zoycite >turns red with anger because that bloated ghetto-trash rapper just >ruined her chances at sex.) Lemnear: Yet saved our sanity. > >ZOYCITE: Damn you, Notorious Biggie, whatever your name is! Damn you to >HELL!! Jamie: (Hell) I don't want him! >Now because of you, I'll NEVER bag my little Maly-poo! James: Bag my little maly-poo... Jamie: I'm gonna be sick. Lemnear: (pulls out the trash can from behind the seats and hands it to Jamie.) Here you go. >I'll see you dead, bastard! > >MALACHITE: (Blacking out and mumbling.) ...saved by the sandwich... James: I feel your pain. > >Scene 7-(At a recording studio in NYC, Sean "Puffy" Combs turns on a TV >and sees the shocking revelations on the news.) > >NEWS ANCHOR: ...top story tonightis the return of presumed dead rapper, >Notorious BIG... Jamie: and other crap.... > >PUFFY: Oh, naw. Afta cryin' my eyes out at his funeral, and all those >cold nights with no one to keep me warm, a tribute album, an' not >gettin' any dick for all this time...He can't be alive. I'm gon' find >this imposta an' set him straight! Lemnear: What the hell? Jamie: Oh that is so it. I'm to believe Puff Daddy is a....not with BIG. This is sick! > >Scene 8-(Back at Raye's temple, the Scouts are organizing a battle >strategy while Ami works on her little computer, like always.) > >LITA: ...and then I'll BLAST him, and kick him in the nads... James: Hey what did he do to her? Jamie: That's not Lita. > >ALL: Shut UP, Lita!! > >LITA: (Blushing.) All right, all right...geez. > >ARTEMIS: I say we go in quick, finish him off, and book. There's no >reason to get all whacked out because you had some trouble with a bad >guy. > >MINA: Y'know, Artemis, we had our asses handed to us. Jamie: I think not! You had your asses handed to you when you fought Ann and Alan not this dumbass. Lemnear: Jamie? Language. > >RAYE: Yeah, this creep is a lot tougher than he looks. > >LUNA: Will you all shush? Ami's trying to pinpoint his location. > >SERENA: Then we can find him, and pop a cap in his ass! (Amelia pulls herself up into the chair.) Amelia: Did Serena get crossed with a rapper while I was sleeping. > >RAYE: What the hell does THAT mean?! You're talking like ghetto-trash! >Wait, you've been hanging out in that "Sir Rapsalot's" place, haven't >you? > >SERENA: Uh...no, of COURSE not. > >(The group stares at Serena accusingly.) > >SERENA: Okay, maybe once or twice. > >AMI: I've got it! He's in a warehouse downtown, at 23nd and Pope! Lemnear: What are they doing in America? James: Don't they mean 23rd? > >LUNA: Let's go, Scouts! > >Scene 9-(At the Death Row Records building, various rappers are >assembled and conversing.) > >SNOOP: Word y'all, I be chillin' in my hood, sippin' on gin an' juice. James: huh? > >LI'L KIM: Fuck y'all! I haven't had no dick in, like, 20 minutes. >Somebody gimme a vibrata or sumpthin' ta suck on. Amelia: Disgusting... > >DR. DRE: I ain't got no dildo, Kim, but here, you can suck on my nine. Jamie: Dr. Dre is awesome not like this idiot. And lil' kim is nothing like this. > >BUSTA RHYMES: Yah, yah, yah, y'all hear about Biggie trashin' up Tokyo? >What the dilly, y'all?! Lemnear: 23rd and pope is not in Tokyo but in New York so why the hell do they keep going back and forth? > >MASE: What choo talkin' 'bout? > >FAITH EVANS: [Note: Yeah, she's not a rapper, bite me.] All: No thanks..... >Huh?! Afta that >"I'l Be Missin' You" shit, he betta be dead. That video cost me last >week's crack money. Jamie: I think not. > >DA BRAT: Let's go set his sorry ass straight! > >Scene 10-(In a flowery, spring-time looking field, BIG and Puff Daddy >are frolicking around, holding hands and kissing each other.) (All use the Trash can.) James: oh man... > >BIGGIE: Oh Puff, I missed ya, li'l man. > >PUFFY: I was so mad 'cause i thought you wuz an imposta, but you da REAL >deal! > >BIGGIE: Ah'm jus' glad we could find this field where we kin smooch. >There ain't many o' dese in da big T-O-K... > >(A blast of flame bursts on the scene and incinerates Puff Daddy.) > >PUFFY: PUFF!! Oh, LORD! Who's gonna shove GERBILS up my ass NOW? Amelia: Gerbils? Lemnear: I thought Puffy was just incinerated by a fireball. > >ZOYCITE: Shut your damn piehole, you big fat-ass! Amelia: All this swearing...such injustice. > >BIGGIE: You BITCH! B-but why? > >ZOYCITE: Somehow the Nega-energy you have made some of portal to the >Negaverse...in your fucking STOMACH!! > >BIGGIE: Sooo... Lemnear: Rappers aren't that bright I take it. > >ZOYCITE: So?! So, that hoagie you ate fell into the portal and right on >my man Malachite's head. Now he won't have SEX with me! James: (Biggie) I don't blame him. > >BIGGIE: And if I have Nega-energy just like you do, then... Jamie: Now how does he know she has it? She never called the fire Nega- energy. Lemnear: How did he even get it? > >(His eyes go bright red and he shoots out a blast of energy from them. >Zoycite jumps out of the way just in time.) > >ZOYCITE: AAH, shit!! (Angrily.) You three-chinned rat-bastard! I'm going >to kill you SLOWLY now! > >MOON: Oh, no you don't, Nega-creep! > >JUPITER: Yeah, we had dibs on him! James: Dibsies! > >ZOYCITE: Oh look, the bitch patrol, too!This must be my lucky damn day! Jamie: That's a new name for us. > >MARS: Fat chance, lady. We're gonna kick Notorious Fat-Ass's bloated >tail, then we're coming for you! MARS FIRE IGNITE!! > >(She blasts her fire at Biggie, who doesn't look too happy about it.) > >BIGGIE: (Picking himself up.) Lemnear: There's a nose, and there's my right ear...now where's my left one? Amelia: When did he fall? >Aw DAMN, bitch! That kinda HURT! Lesse how >YOU like it. > >(He zaps the hell out of Sailor Mars.) > >MARS: AARGH!! > >LUNA: Raye! Oh, dear. Jamie: There goes the secrecy. > >MERCURY: Are you okay? Lemnear: (Mars) Just peachy. > >ZOYCITE: She's doing better than you'll be in a few seconds! Hahaha! > >(Zoycite shoots a stream of fire at Sailor Mercury. Mercury screams and >falls to the ground, her body still smoking.) > >ARTEMIS: Before, I was hopeful of us winning the battle, but now I'm not >too sure of our chances. Jamie: Is he ever going to believe in us? > >LUNA: Shut up, you damn albino freak! Ami's hurt! > >ARTEMIS: As if being a BLACK cat is any BETTER. James: Umm...when did they become racist? > >JUPITER: This'll settle the score. JUPITER THUNDER CRASH!!! > >(Zoycite is temporarily tangled in a web of lightning, then goes limps >and falls helplessly.) Lemnear: And it's two to two. > >MOON: Wow...I never woulda guesed ou had it in ya, Jupiter. > >VENUS: No time for pats on the back, Sailor Moon. We have a rapper here >who needs to be taught a lesson. > >(They turn to where he is and see Biggie sobbing over the pile of >smoldering ashes that was Puff Daddy.) Amelia: That won't save you from the punishments of your injustice! > >BIGGIE: *sob* *sniff* I didn't want this *sniff* I jus' wanted ta rule >da world! *gglrk* > >VENUS: Oh yeah, wideass? Well I just want to kick your butt until you've >paid for what you did to Mars and Mercury! Let's see who gets their >wish. Jamie: oh they would not say that! They'd moon crystal heal him. > >JUPITER: Yeah, give us one good reason why we shouldn't drop you here >and now. > >(BIG's eyes glow, his hands pulsate with energy, and he stands.) > >BIGGIE: Beause I won't give you the chance! > >(The girls are blasted and scattered.) Lemnear: I think he's pissed off. > >BIGGIE: Hawhawhaw! You really thought I would let you win so easily? Fat >fucking chance! > >MOON: Fucking...bastard...* Amelia: (sighs) My virgin ears.... > >LUNA: Oh, Christ. Sailor Moon is down, too! > >JUPITER: Venus, I'm too drained from that last blast. I can't help you. > >VENUS: (Sweating and tense. Looks up.) Oh, Lord. Please let this work. > >(Energy builds up in her finger, and she closes her eyes and points at >Biggie. When she opens her eyes, she sees that she is poking right into >Biggie's chest. Venus gasps and the energy fizzles.) Jamie: When did she learn that? James: That's a weird v-beam... > >BIGGIE: Guess what, sweet-toosh? It didn't. Lemnear: Will he ever die???? > >VENUS: What the hell are those...? > >BIGGIE: (Turns quickly.) HUNH?! > >(Several shots are fired at BIG, who falls to the ground, not much >longer for this Earth. The gunmen are none other that Biggie's >brothers-in-lyrical-arms.) Amelia: Finally. James: Wasn't that unjust? Amelia: well yeah but HE was really getting annoying. > >BIGGIE: BIG UP TA BROOKLYN!!! > >(A white spirit darts out of his body.) > >DR. DRE: That'll teach that mutha fucka. > >SNOOP: Word, homes. Amelia: huh? > >LI'L KIM: I still ain't got me no dick! James: Didn't Dr. Dre offer? Jamie: Shut up. > >(The other Scouts get up and stand beside Venus, all a little puzzled.) > >MARS: (Confused.) Not to sound rude or anything, but WHAT the FUCK JUST >HAPPENED?! > >(Zoycite gets up, she is still weary from all the punishment she has >taken.) Lemnear: Which isn't very much. > >ZOYCITE: (Very pissed off.) That piece of SHIT! And you little whores! >Aargh, dammit! You may have beaten me today, but I swear by all that's >unholy I'll finally rid myself of you pestersome Sailor-sluts! > >(Zoycite teleports away.) > >MOON: I just have to say that these past few days have been MAJORLY >weird. > >LUNA: I'll second that. > >Scene 11-(In the Negaverse, Zoycite is standing before Queen Beryl who >has Malachite at her side.) > >BERYL: So, Zoycite...you've failed me, again. What am I going to do with >you? All: Kill her! > >ZOYCITE: Please queen, heve mercy! I-- > >BERYL: ...deserve to have to watch a 12-hour marathon of "Full House"! (All shudder.) Jamie: That's pain. > >MALACHITE: Beryl, I think you should just let her be. What did you >expect from HER, anyway? > >BERYL: Hmm. You are correct, Malachite. Now leave me, Zoycite, before I >have a change of heart. And Malachite, I wish for you to stay here with >me. (Smiles sexily.) Jamie: Ewwww. > >MALACHITE: Of course, my queen. (Smiles back.) > >ZOYCITE: (Confused.) WHAT THE HELL?!?! Malachite, you BASTAAARRD!!! Lemnear: I don't want to know.. > >Scene 12-(The girls, minus Ami, are at the same mall as Scene 1, and >walk out of Alternative Station.) > >MINA: So, Lita, whadya gat? Jamie: Man they're still talking slang. > >SERENA: Yeah, show us. > >[Note: Shameless plug time!] > >LITA: I got the latest Korn CD, "Life is Peachy". > >RAYE: You mean the one with that kick-ass song "ADIDAS" on it? Lemnear: I thought she only liked classical. > >LITA: Yep. > >SERENA: Hey look! There's Ami, on that bench. > >(They walk over to her and notice that she has headphones on.) > >MINA: Whatcha listenin' to? > >AMI: Oh, it's nine inch nails. James: Didn't she says she only like classical too? > >RAYE: YOU like nine inch nails?! > >AMI: Sure! And that Trent Reznor is hotter than hell! (All laugh) Jamie: I think not. > >LITA: Speaking of hell, look what just opened up where "Sir Rapsalot's" >was. > >(They see a sign that says: "Mariylin Mason's Devil Worship Domicile and >Satanic Trinkets Store".) Lemnear: Oh what fun. > >ALL: Oh, no! > >THE END All: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >So, whadya think. James: It sucked. >Intrigued about that white spirit? Amelia: Not really. >To find out its >origin, stay tuned to Koopa's Sailor Moon Page for the rest of "Sailor >Moon vs. Rap"! Later! All: More?????????? >--Chibi X (All run from the theater.) __________________________________________________________________________ (Back on the bridge of CUTIES, everyone but Jamie is watching TV. Suddenly Jamie walks in.) Jamie: Yo, homies! (All turn around to see Jamie in baggie and dirty pants and shirt. Lemnear: Jamie? Jamie: Who da you think it is Bitch? Amelia: Miss. Jamie? What's wrong with you? Jamie: Nuttin? Just chillin with yo motha fuckin'homies. James: Um...... (Washu suddenly appears.) Washu: Quite interesting. So when the subject is subjected to a lot of swearing she takes that quality. Jamie: Wha the fuck yo talkin bout? (Washu pulls out a little remote control and gives it to Amelia.) Washu: When ever she starts acting like this or goes to swear, push the red button. Amelia: Okay..... Jamie: Wha the fu.. (ZAP) (Jamie falls to the ground twitching....) ________________________________________________________________________________ Hey-la you all. Finally got another finished. Sorry about the horrid language but it's nothing you haven't heard before not like that's an excuse. Well anyway. See ya soon. Lissa. Stinger: "PUFFY: PUFF!! Oh, LORD! Who's gonna shove GERBILS up my ass NOW?"