Pan Loves Steve


NCT: Okay this is NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. I am NOT pairing off Pan with some other guy! This is a three-year-old Pan and she watches all too much Blue Clues, bringing torture throughout the DB universe. This is based on a true story. No parents were harmed in the writing of this story but I guarantee you if I even meet any of the creators of the bloody show, there will be hell to pay!



Pan sat on the carpeted floor of the living, sucking on a pink sippy cup filled with milk, eyes glued mercilessly to the TV. “We are gonna play Blues Clues, we are gonna play Blues Clues, we are gonna play Blues Clues, ‘cause it’s really fun…” chimed rather loudly from the accursed box. Upon hearing the mind numbing music, Videl sighed in relief, knowing that she had a half-hour break from her toddler’s energetic rampages, and figuring that she just had enough time to clean up and earlier mess made in the kitchen by the said toddler, comprised of Froot Loops, milk, and mustard. “That’s what I get for going to the bathroom for a second.” She massaged her temples, padded lightly to the kitchen grabbing the mop on the way, and began to soak up the milk/mustard mix splashed all over the floor, catching a few stowaway Froot Loops in the mess. “It has been almost a year since she’s been out of high chair and STILL finds spilling her food everywhere fun, ARGH! Gohan for your sake, you better be glad you are at work!”


Most often, when watching Blues Clues, Pan sings and talks along with Steve and the children of the show, but that day, it was eerily quiet. Videl stopped her mopping and stretched her ear out to hear if Pan was up to something she wasn’t supposed to be doing. The woman tiptoed toward the area that her daughter should be sitting, quietly was the way to do it, catching the child in the act was rather hard; having saiyan hearing and all. She peeked into the room and saw pan sitting there with a crayon and notebook in hand, looking rather cute, and attempting to draw the pictures that were being shown on the television screen. Videl’s nerved calmed, she walked over to the little girl and patted her on the head. She took a moment to watch what could entrap her toddler’s attention so well, “You see a clue… Where?” Steve said while thrashing his head around the cheesy computer generated world. “You can’t see it anyways dumbshit, and IF you could, it’s to your right” she thought. “Right there!” Pan shrieked, obviously getting frustrated with Steve’s lack of observation skills. “Mommy, Steve is stupid”, the child remarked. “That’s my girl!” Pan stood up quickly, and ran to her bedroom yelling “I can do better than Steve I can make my own Blues Clues!” “Uh oh”.


Soon, the house was covered from floor to anywhere that a three-year-old could reach (including Videl) in blue paw print stickers. “Trunks you are going to pay for giving those to her for her birthday” she mumbled. She began to imagine herself pummeling the purple haired fifteen year-old into the dirt with a satisfactory THUD. She was smiling in her little dream world, away from Blue and Steve. The woman felt a quick whiz of air brushing by her leg to see Pan dragging her stuffed Blue doll, a large ornate note pad, and a black crayon humming to herself the Blues Clues song ending it with “I AM REALLY SMART!”  “Pan don’t… run” she managed to say, all too late, she was already down the hallway heading to the bathroom. Videl rushed after her little raven-haired saiyan girl, to find crayon ‘drawings’ all over the bathroom walls, sink, toilet, and tub. “Blue left a clue Mommy. I HAD to draw flowers but I ran out of paper” she said holding up the note pad filled with scribbles, and quickly ran out again to terrorize another part of the house while shouting “I am Steve! I am Steve! I draw clues!” Videl slumped herself onto the toilet, tears coming to her eyes. “What did I do to deserve this?” Shrieks of giggles flowed all over the house as the running rampant toddler sang up a Blues Clues storm, doodling everywhere, leaving her mother frantic.


An idea came to the poor woman’s mind. “Pan, Steve is a boy, you can’t be Steve and draw Blue’s Clues.” The child stopped for a second, in mid motion of running, put her finger to her chin, “I need my thinking chair!” Pan ran to the sofa, rubbed the armrests in circular motion just like Steve, “Now lets think think think. I can’t be Steve. I am Steve’s wife. I can draw Blue’s Clues too, Blue is my puppy too!” “Panny, if you want to be Steve’s wife, you have to love him.” “But I don’t like Steve, he is stupid!” “I know honey but that’s the way it goes.” For the rest of the day Pan sulked and Videl rejoiced.