Crime and Punishment

“Matt, you know it was really unwise to make fun of Judge Chang’s robe. She was kind enough to not hold you in contempt of court.” The blonde attorney sneered at her bouncy client. “We are also very fortunate that she only sentenced you to five years in a federal prison instead of ten like you should have.”

“Naw… you’re just a really good lawyer Karen! Heck, if it weren’t for the fact that you were appointed to me; I’d actually have thought that you cared.”

The lawman, er, lawwoman halted in her tracks while heading to the jailing facilities corridor. “I’m just good at my job because some day I plan on handling real cases and not defending surly car thieves. Don’t think this is personal. And the name’s Ms. Winter to you, go it?”

“Sure, sure Karen, what ever you say.” He would have put his hands behind his head in a relaxed manner; however, they were cuffed in front of him and were bound by a chain that was attached to a similar getup around his ankles. He looked at his unfitting attire. “You’d think I was Dahmer or something… geez.”

The two were lead by a taller jailer into the smaller room where Matt was given some issued clothing and a full lecture of his “duties” as an inmate at Penta Penitentiary. “Cell Block 6, non-threatning ward. Sounds like a party!” he nudged Ms. Winter in the ribs before following his tall lanky jailer to his cell. “And escorted by a fine young gentleman too… are you sure you don’t want to join me Karen?”

She snorted. “Not on your life Mr. Berthany. I will be here next Monday morning so we can finalize the paper work and we’ll be going our separate ways.”

Matt mocked heartbreak by clutching his chest. “And we just got to know each other…”

“You’ll live.” And the blonde was gone through the 5 metallic doors.

Matt looked around at all his fellow cell mates. ‘A happy bunch they are!’ he quipped mentally as his eye slipped from the frowns to the glassy eyes that were following the swaying of his jailer’s hips. ‘The local eye candy I guess.’ He took a clue and watched the jailer’s ass slide from side to side underneath the dark uniformed wrapping. He nearly collided with the tall man as they stopped at his cell.

“Here’s your cell Mr. Berthany. You’re cellmate is Howard, please get acquainted as soon as possible.” His voice was soft yet tough as nails. If there was somebody he didn’t want to piss off, it was this guy. Not only was he tall, but it was obvious he was rather built and slightly bulky under the unflattering prison guard’s uniform.

After shutting the steelbarred door, he turned to leave.

“What’s your name?”

“Huh?”

“I said ‘what’s your name…’ You know mine, at least I should know yours.”

The jailer mused for a second. “Barton, Ben Barton. I suggest you remember that name because it will be ringing in your ears if you even think of disturbing any shit around here.”

The doors rattled with an eerie clang as Ben elbowed Matt’s fingers that were wrapped around the bars. “OW!!! Bastard!” The scrawny spunky young man nursed his aching fingers as he looked around the place that he’d be calling home for the next five years. “Well if he’s playing for the home team”, he stated boldly in attempt to break the ice with Howard, who in turn rose an eyebrow at the brashness the young felon so suicidally emitted.

“Ya know, many people say the same thing around here. So what’re you in for?”

“GTA”

“What?!”

A voice crept from across the hall, “Grand Theft Auto”

Howard’s eyes nearly bulged from behind his shaded glasses. “Dude… Kablooey spoke to ya on the first day!”

Matt was mildly confused. “Who?”

“Kablooey…” he pointed to a mop of mossy looking hair across from their cell. “His name’s Akira Hiroyuki, he’s in for blowing a lot of shit up.”

“Good to know. And what are you in for Howard?”

“Ah, ah, ah, you have to finish my question first. What are you in for?”

“I told you already, GTA.”

“What happened exactly? GTA isn’t a common offence around here so enlighten us.”

“I stole a car, that’s all. Now I’m in here for five years.”

“Five years for a car?” Howard wasn’t convinced.

“Okay… it was the car. I stole it three times.”

“And what car would that be?”

“Vice Foreign Minister’s pink limousine. She was mad the first time. The second time she was pissed. The third time I got accused of stalking. Luckly, the stalking charges were dropped because everyone found it a favour that I stole the ugly pink limo.”

A snicker echoed from across the hall.

“So you’re telling me that you stole a pink limo three times?! Why the fuck did you do that?”

“I had nothing better to do” he shrugged.

“Besides…” Ben’s soft and commanding voice slid through the bars behind Matt “the thing is a big eye sore.”

Matt spun around on his heels frantically. “Trying to give me a heart attack or something?!”

“I forgot to give you your physical inspection”, he said as he opened the cell doors to lead the violet eyed prisoner into the wide hallway.

“A physical inspection?! What the hell for?”

“I can’t have you tracking in any ‘innapropriate’ items into the cell block can I? That could cause total chaos if you were to have a swiss army knife stashed somewhere.”